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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760924">I'll show you mine if you show me yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaClairvoyanne/pseuds/LydiaClairvoyanne'>LydiaClairvoyanne</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adorable, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bickering, BoyxBoy, Crying, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Protective Uzumaki Naruto, Romance, SasuNaru - Freeform, Slash, Slow Burn, Soft Boys, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yaoi, no beta we die like men, sasuke helping naruto, sasuke realizing naruto isnt stupid, sns, this eventually gets so adorable yall gonna vomit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:33:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>132,955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaClairvoyanne/pseuds/LydiaClairvoyanne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice is small, somewhat shy. “This is… just between us, right? So… noone knows about this.” </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>fics i fell in love with, ✧ Fantastic Naruto fanfics ✧</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The training field</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>How many quarantine-made-me-go-back-to-this-fandom stories are there...?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  </p><p> </p><p>Naruto was loud. And annoying. And obnoxious. </p><p> </p><p>But it wasn’t necessarily his fault, Sasuke thought. Yes, there were reasons for his hyperactivity (and ADHD was part of it) hidden deep in his emotional trauma, loneliness, forced social distance and zero guardian hold and guidance, therefore he probably didn’t even know what parts of his behaviour were socially awkward or unacceptable by usual means. </p><p> </p><p>“Ano, what is it, Sasuke,” Naruto asked unexpectedly calmly. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke moved his head, dropping his gaze to the side (after staring straigh up at the blond for nearly ten minutes), but not feeling embarrassed about it. “Just had a thought.” </p><p> </p><p>“A-about what?” he asked again, probably aware of how pushy he is, but couldn’t help himself. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke gave him a half-bored look, taking in his posture; his head held high, swaying closer to Sasuke, his full attention on him, ready to listen to anything he’s got to say, slightly wiggling like a cat would with her tail and butt in excitement, and Sasuke realized… he’s probably right. Naruto’s initial noisy and annoying behaviour wasn’t one on purpose, it was just that he couldn't help himself, and didn't know better, because he had noone to teach him the basics. </p><p> </p><p>“About you,” he decides to answer truthfully. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s full and excited composure seems to fall, his eyes stop sparkling and he bows down, shoulders slouched - for a short while he sits in complete silence, not moving at all, obviously expecting the worst. And yeah, that was the moment Sasuke realized he could maybe… </p><p> </p><p>“Oi, Naruto,” Sasuke starts, looking both sides to make sure they are alone in the woods now. “I just… you don’t… really know how to behave towards people, do you?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s head shots up to look in his eyes and finds no taunt and no mock in those; his own on the other hand are full of both (for himself). He doesn’t answer and doesn't even go through this “I’ll show you I’m better than you! Just wait!” phrase, shocked and ashamed in front of the only person he ever wanted to appear cool. </p><p> </p><p>“As I thought,” Sasuke murmurs to himself. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is ashamed, and angry (at himself, really), and desperate, he can feel tears filling up his eyes. No no no no no no! There’s no way he’s going to <em> cry </em> in front of the Uchiha! <em> There’s no way</em><em>!</em> But it was already too late; he felt few tears streaming down his face - the teme <em> always </em> knew where to hit, <em> always </em> knew where it would hurt the most! He could as well be like all the others, making fun of him for not knowing basic things, for learning slower than everyone, when there was noone home for him to come for help with his training and homework to, when there was noone to comfort him after he had a bad dream, noone when he was confused and didn’t know what to do next, because he had noone to ask, so he just guessed and tried and went by <em> trial and error </em> method his whole life as his only option. Everyone always made fun of him for things they considered fundamental and easy and obvious and just clear, because someone taught them at a young age, because they had strong and loving guardians who raised them, loved them, helped them, and showed them rights and wrongs. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto wasn’t as lucky as the others. </p><p> </p><p>“I-,” Naruto chokes out a broken sob, abruptly wiped his tears and wanted to run away, hide, scream, cry, hate, and kick, and shout, but he wasn’t allowed. </p><p> </p><p>Young (but stronger than his) hand enveloped his shoulder and held him in place. Sasuke might be an asshole, but not an insensitive asshole. He wanted to make sure he’s got it right, he didn’t mean it in an insulting way. It was a simple, honest question (he didn’t need to hear the spoken answer to), and now seeing he fucked up, he had to fix what he’d broken. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey there,” he murmured with a low voice just like Itachi talked to him when he hurt himself as a baby. “C’mon, calm down. There you are, just calm down...” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looked up, utter disbelief in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey now,” Sasuke patted his head lightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, it was just… I noticed how people treat you, recently, and realized they think you are… hm, loud and annoying and awkward with people on purpose. That it’s just your way of behaving, your way of dealing with people. But I… I think it’s because you don’t know… the proper way. You don’t know how people... are expected to behave in certain situations. Where the boundaries are.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto was still trying to calm down, listening intently what Sasuke was saying. He was so overwhelmed the cool Sasuke was acknowledging him and even comforting him he stopped crying, slightly nodding to Sasuke’s words. </p><p> </p><p>“So I just… well. I think… I can help you. With that. If you want,” Sasuke offers.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto wipes the last of his tears and confusedly asks: “Why… would you do that?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke shrugs and lets go of the blond’s shoulder, trying to appear nonchalant about his offer, but he knew there is something at the back of his head, in the depth of his stomach; something that longed to be acknowledged and thought and talked about way more, because no matter how this feeling was only forming, it was growing bigger, more serious and more important everyday. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know exactly,” It’s not a lie - not completely, Sasuke defends himself. “I just don’t want to be associated with a complete idiot.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Just that… if we have to spend time together we might… as well give it a purpose and teach you a thing or two.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is a bit uncertain about Sasuke’s behaviour, keeping the thought about his ulterior motives in mind just to avoid later disappointment. </p><p> </p><p>“So… you’ll teach me… how exactly?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke sighs; yes, good question. “Knowing you back at the Academy, I don’t think theory is really your thing. You are more of the learning by doing type of a student, right?” </p><p> </p><p>“So that’s what this is about!” Naruto screams. “You just want to go around and comment on everything I do wrong in front of everyone, because you love humiliating me, and have an excuse why doing so!” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs again, deeper. “Like this, Naruto! You can’t just jump into conclusion and yell loudly the first thing you think of.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto glares at him but shuts up, motioning for Sasuke to continue. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m not gonna go around embarrassing you, if I wanted to do that, I’d just do it, without this conversation about trying to help you.” </p><p> </p><p>“How would I know?” Naruto says with a grumpy face. “You are the genius here, the fuck would I recognize what are your plans with me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call yourself stupid,” Sasuke points out. </p><p> </p><p>“You call me stupid fifty times a day!” Naruto shouts again, then immediately lowers his voice, but keeps the point. “Eh. Sorry. Everyone call me stupid tho, really.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I do, maybe they do, but you do <em>not</em> call yourself stupid,” Sasuke insist. “It’s… look, I don’t really think you are stupid, per se. Sometimes you are acting and behaving stupidly, saying stupid things and I call you that just to spite you, for a good measure - I don’t call you stupid because I hate you, or because I want to hurt you, or because I really think you are just plain stupid.” </p><p> </p><p>“...Oh,” Naruto doesn’t see the point, yet. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke sighs, closes his eyes and counts to five. </p><p> </p><p>This is not gonna be easy. </p><p> </p><p>“Look,” he starts again, slow, but firm. “This bickering - me calling you stupid or idiot or whatever, isn’t… it’s not supposed to be an insult, not really. It’s… our form of friendship, isn’t it?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto still doesn’t look like he understands. Sasuke sits down and tries again; this is going to be a long, <em> long </em>day, but if he wants Naruto to understand people and social life and boundaries and roles and appropriate behaviour in public, he has to start from the beginning; the first relationship, first person he ever made a connection with - Sasuke himself. </p><p> </p><p>(When Sasuke agreed with himself to help Naruto, he didn’t sign for explaining his personal feelings for Naruto (especially when he wasn’t sure what all that shivering and excitement and rivalry and lingering looks meant just yet), but he made his vows and now couldn't back out of it.)</p><p> </p><p>“It’s… look. You do something stupid, I call you stupid, you call me idiot, we end up fighting, and then we pretend we hate each other, but yeah, we don’t. But then we are on a mission, and I am in danger or in pain. What do you do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, help you, if I can, have your back, sidetrack or just openly divert attackers attention so you have time to compose yourself and think of a plan to get out there or get help,” Naruto answers honestly.</p><p> </p><p>“Side...track?” Sasuke surprisingly repeats. </p><p> </p><p>“Well…. yeah? If I don’t know - if it’s sudden, and on missions it always is, if I don’t know what is happening and how to help you, I just sidetrack the attacker, usually with clones. I divert the attention from you, because I’ve got much more chakra than anyone in our team. And by that, the attacker focuses on me and is forced to show his fighting style or defence system. That way you have time to go through the wounds you have and either try and think of plan of attack, or tell the civilians what to do. If the attacker fights with me directly, you have time to help Sakura and see the attacker’s weak spots, focus and either call me off or join me. But that depends how wounded you are and how do you look at them. If you don’t lose your composure of the cool guy, I know you got him figured and have a plan. If you are wounded and keep looking for the rest of the team, I know we are fucked and I have to stale. So I… divert attention by talking and screaming, so the attacker would notice me and focus on me, so you can find their motive or something that could stop them, and keep the attacker as far as I can, so you have time to plan next move.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is perfectly.. stunned. </p><p> </p><p>“That.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh?” Naruto looks up. </p><p> </p><p>“That is the reason you never call yourself stupid. Because…” Sasuke looks away, faintly ashamed, because yes, that is exactly the pattern Naruto follows everytime they are under enemy’s attack or in a situation that could be dangerous. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And Sasuke has never, till this second, realized that. And worse, always called Naruto stupid for doing this, putting himself in front of an enemy first, fighting him, spending chakra Sasuke has to treat with carefully, since his sharingan only took a quarter of his chakra dispense. Sasuke always called Naruto reckless and useless when he just wastes chakra like that - and never, not even once, he realized that’s exactly the reason behind it - to buy Sasuke time to compose, protect civilians, help Sakura, sort his wounds, plan next move, figure plan of attack, seek help, because Naruto can waste chakra like this, because this is exactly what his place in a team is - a staller, talker, attention averter.<br/></em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Sasuke called him stupid for something he should be </em>thanking him. </p><p> </p><p><em> He finally felt like the asshole Naruto always called him. (And yeah, Naruto was right. Sasuke </em>was <em>an asshole. And he could see it, now.)  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Probably not even once in his life he realized Naruto lives for the team, and would die for it, too. He himself thought this theory for himself, a full on strategy plan. He admitted not being the smartest, not being the strategy guy with a plan in his head, but truth be told, in this situation, Naruto was way ahead of Sasuke, when it came to strategic thinking and teamwork. Naruto fully accepted his part of being the talker, the staller, but also in the first line only to buy the Uchiha time to figure it out, or join him in combat. Naruto himself found what he’s best at during missions, and does it without question, no matter how much Sasuke and sometimes Kakashi too tell him how dangerous it was and how’s he wasting his chakra - while he wasn't doing either of it. He wasn't wasting chakra, because he had at least four times as much as both Sasuke and Kakashi, and he was the one who tried to bring out the attacker’s skills and weak spots. He acknowledged his part of the team without a word and without help. He figured it on his own, strategically planning ahead. He knew perfectly, what their positions were - Sakura was protecting the carriage or the civilians, Kakashi was leading the main attack, Sasuke’s part was strategy and combat, and Naruto’s was this - stalling, attention diverting, when one of them were hurt and they needed time for collecting themselves. Sakura still didn’t know what to do under and attack, and Sasuke usually needed a few seconds in advance to see what next, and Naruto knew that, without asking, just observing and realizing, and decided that’s his part, that’s the thing he’s gonna perfect.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> To give Sasuke time he desperately needed and without Naruto wouldn't have had, which would nearly always ended fatally (for the entire team).  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“-because if you were really stupid, you could never think of a strategy like this,” Sasuke finishes. “You are incredibly smart, it’s just… most of the things you had to figure out yourself. So what you are not school-smart like me or Sakura, Shikamaru isn’t school-smart either, because he’s lazy, but he’s intelligent and he sees things differently,” Sasuke explains. </p><p> </p><p>“Strategically,” Naruto chimes, silently. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke agrees, warm smile on his lips (that's a rare thing). “You are smart. It’s just my thing, calling you stupid, and your thing, calling me idiot. But… my point of the question was, that yes, when we are safe, we are bickering and fighting, but it’s not in a hateful way, is it? You don’t fight me to kill me, you don’t call me an idiot to actually insult me - well, sometimes you do, I’m sure - but we only do that when we are safe. When we are under attack or hurt, we’ve got each others backs, right? You and I.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Naruto beams. “Of course we have.” </p><p> </p><p>“See?” Sasuke holds his fist up and waits for Naruto to gently bum in it with his own. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… yeah. I see,” Naruto agrees, smiling brightly. </p><p> </p><p>“So that’s why I get really mad when someone calls you stupid. I can do it, because, we are friends and that's our way of dealing with each other. But like, I can call you that, because… well, I know you, and I know you are really smart in your own way - and trust me, I really appreciate it. I appreciate how you work with me in a team, just like you said, but also… how you teach me things, too,” Sasuke admis, cheeks slightly pink.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn't really believe his ears. “I… teach you…?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course. When you meet people, everyone is different. And when you get to know them, you are learning a lot of things. Gaining perspectives of life that’s not yours, getting new opinions and knowledge. For example, I thought I am alone. In everything. For everything. But you taught me that… I’m not. Not really. Not if I don’t want to. I thought, when we were put in a team, that it would slow me down-” </p><p> </p><p>“You told me many times I slow you down,” Naruto interrupts him, brows furrowed. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke actually chuckles: “Yes, I did. And I was wrong. Because I thought life of shinobi is only combat and a certain path. And yes, you were slowing me down, because you showed me friendship in this kind of way, that one that keeps you pushing, going and trying harder, that one, that brings you strong bonds, or the one where shinobi isn’t just a purpose, it’s a way of living, too.” </p><p> </p><p>And somehow, even if Naruto wasn’t the quickest to see where someone who is talking too long is going with all the words, he understood. He changed Sasuke. He helped him, taught him something. </p><p> </p><p>“But yes, there were times you were slowing me down. Literally. Like everytime you lost your focus during a mission and we had to do something twice. Or when you put yourself in a situation where I had to come back and help you, like when you tripped and fell into a river and we had to stop for you to dry of so you wouldn’t catch a cold. Those are things I called you stupid for, but honestly, I never really minded that much.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Naruto murmurs. “Like, when I fell into the river in Kumo, you did say I was stupid, but you didn’t really… hm. The words didn’t really hold the fire, you know? And you didn’t even want to fight me over it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Because I was scared you’d get sick,” Sasuke admits. “And because I honestly didn’t mind staying at the riverside. We had a good lunch then, too, hm?” </p><p> </p><p>Yes, they did. Naruto tripped and fell into a river, because of what kind of a person he is, but when he finally climbed ashore he held a fish big enough for them to share for a lunch. “We did, yeah.” </p><p> </p><p>“See? That’s my point. So, when I offer you help, you can’t just without thinking accuse me of having an ulterior motive,” Sasuke further explains. “It’s not cool to be rude to a person who offers help.” </p><p> </p><p>“I see,” Naruto nods. “I’m sorry for accusing you of using me for your ego, then, but you can’t really blame me, can you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you’re right,” Sasuke says gently. “Of course you don’t trust people, when you don’t know where the boundaries are.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto pouts and wants to scream at Sasuke that it’s not cool to make fun of one’s insecurities, but thinks better of it. Instead, he asks: “How can I tell you are not secretly laughing at me?” </p><p> </p><p>“You probably can’t,” Sasuke concedes. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto pouts even more. </p><p> </p><p>“But you trust me, right?” Sasuke asks. “You trust me with your life and I trust you with mine.” </p><p> </p><p>“I trust you with my life,” Naruto agrees, serious. “I’m just not sure if I can trust you with my insecurities, too. Just because you don’t want to kill me doesn’t mean you don’t want to hurt me.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are right,” Sasuke agreed wholeheartedly. “You can never be sure about that with anyone I think…” he murmurs silently, mostly to himself, for that particular reason. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you… do you mean… Itachi?” Naruto dares to ask.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke snaps and glares, but sees the honesty in Naruto’s eyes and his anger and hate vanish as quickly as it arose. “Yes, I… yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what’s appropriate to say,” Naruto admits after few minutes of silence. “I didn’t want to make… whatever I caused by that question.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke chuckles, half amused, half annoyed: “That wasn’t as bad. It’s… I’ve never talked about it. With anyone, ever.” </p><p> </p><p>Silence. </p><p> </p><p>“And… do you want to?” </p><p> </p><p>“How can I tell you’re not gonna secretly laugh at me, using my insecurities and fears against me?” Sasuke repeats Naruto’s words. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stares at his best friend/worst enemy in stunned silence before reaching his hand and touching his arm gently. “You probably can’t.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke keeps a small smile on his lips and averts his gaze as Naruto lets go of his arm. It’s a weird feeling, cold, after his fingers left a skin so unused to the warm touch.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice is small, somewhat shy. “This is… just between us, right? So… noone knows about this.” </p><p> </p><p>There’s an uncomfortable freezing feeling at the bottom of his stomach, and his thoughts seem to be all over the place and strictly focused on Naruto at the same time. “Yes,” he agrees, his own voice sounding strange to him. “Of course.” </p><p> </p><p>“How… do we do that?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hardly,” Sasuke smirks, “with your inability to preserve decorum.”</p><p> </p><p>Again, Naruto breathes in to start shouting, but then he realizes - yeah, that’s it. Their way of dealing with one another, they kind of friendship. <em> Bickering </em>, was it, Sasuke…? “Hardly, with your inability to show emotion.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Sasuke laughs, open and happy, because yes, maybe he is embarrassed about this touchy-feely moment they shared, but they are friends and Sasuke actually taught him something - he doesn’t yell without thinking anymore. At least, not at Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>(He can live with that, for now.) </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The balcony</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sasuke sees his uneasiness and decides to intervene with a light, reassuring tone. </p><p>“That’s okay, I’m here. I know you are feeling uneasy about this, maybe you are afraid what my opinion on you will be after this, but I promised you I won’t laugh, or think less about you. It’s not your fault you don't know some things. And it’s okay for you to feel emotions, too, and show them of course. So go on, I won’t leave, and I won’t laugh. I promise.” </p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>After their little touchy-feely moment back in the training field they didn't see each other for a few days; Sasuke was having issues with his apartment (something about water, Naruto didn't really listen) and Naruto took a D-ranked mission or six to make some spare money (he wanted to visit the ocean in the summer) while waiting for Kakashi to come back from his ANBU mission. (The ANBU part was a secret, but Naruto saw the mask in Kakashi’s backpocket (right next to his pervy book), so he knew they won't see their sensei for awhile.)</p><p> </p><p>He just finished helping out some civilians move out from a tiny apartment to a house further away from the citycentre when he spotted Sasuke buying groceries. At first he thought about dropping by, scare him from behind and be annoying, but then he remembered what Sasuke told him about being too loud and too obnoxious, and decides against it. Sasuke didn’t see him, therefore Naruto doesn’t acknowledge him either and continues to give a report to Tsunade (and maybe ask for one more D-rank). </p><p> </p><p>“How comes you are happy to accept D-ranks, now, brat? You were always so noisy, when it came to the boring missions,” Lady Tsunade smirks and expect the young blond to give some stupid explanation and spend fifteen minutes screaming about ramen probably, and Naruto wants to, he really does. </p><p> </p><p>But decides against it. “I understand I can’t go alone on missions outside the village, yet.” </p><p> </p><p>Lady Tsunade lifts her head, studying the child with worried eyes. “Are you okay?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto gives his bring smile: “Yeah!”</p><p> </p><p>Godaime knows something's off, but let’s go of it for now. Maybe he’s just tired or hungry.</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure to eat and rest. You can come here tomorrow for another D-ranks, if you want.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Naruto pauses looking at both, Godaime and Shizune, like he wants to add something, talk more, ask more, yell and shout, just like he always does, but maybe Sasuke is right. Maybe it’s not really appropriate. So instead of complaining and yelling, he bows slightly and leaves the room. </p><p> </p><p>When he heads back home lost in his thoughts, he nearly doesn’t recognize he’s being followed. He smiles then to himself - there’s just one person who’d follow him around and try to get at Naruto, so he doesn’t even turn around, when he calls: “C´mon, Konohamaru, I can hear you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Can you?” says a voice right behind him - a voice he knows well, but it’s not Konohamaru. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke,” Naruto greets him, surprised. He lives at the other side of the village, what is he doing here…? </p><p> </p><p>“Thought I didn’t  see you?” obviously referencing to a while before, at the market. </p><p> </p><p>“I just…” Naruto shrugs and Sasuke actually falters. </p><p> </p><p>Something happened? </p><p> </p><p>“You just…?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto actually stops dead in his track: “We are in public. Are you sure you want to be seen interacting with an idiot?” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto-!” </p><p> </p><p>“No I mean,” Naruto whispers, “I know you said it’s gonna be secret.” </p><p> </p><p>And turns around to continue in his path. Sasuke purses his lips, but doesn’t follow his only friend any further - there is a distant thought about being mad at him, on the other hand, Naruto’s right. It was <em> Sasuke </em>who told him he doesn’t want to be seen with the idiot, that they are friends, but their sessions are going to continue in private. He can hardly blame Naruto for respecting Sasuke’s wish - he of all people knew the best how much Sasuke values his privacy and so people view him as strong, independent and with no company. </p><p> </p><p>(Naruto lets his mind wander and realizes it’s probably because there’s an old saying that says the people you keep close show what person you are. Naruto knows his only friend doesn’t want people to know things about him, what his personality is or what he thinks. He might not agree, but that doesn't mean he can judge or go against Sasuke’s decision.) </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke then turns around to go back to his house, takes a step, five, seven, but then - ah, screw this. He turns right back around and jumps up ninja-style to Naruto’s balcony. </p><p> </p><p>He missed the blond. </p><p> </p><p>“And this is appropriate?” Naruto asks, with his back to the balcony. “Human behaviour?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke chuckles and walks right into Naruto’s room. “For humans? No. For friends? Yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“So I can show up uninvited to your bedroom, too?” Naruto asks, not really surprised. </p><p> </p><p>“As if you could get through the gates of the Uchiha compound,” Sasuke smirks. </p><p> </p><p>“You live there?” Naruto asks, tries not to sound surprised or much too inviding. It’s just a question, he doesn’t need Sasuke to answer. “Well, you are probably right. I’m not really good at sealing that much - as you can see.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is eternally grateful Naruto didn’t push the question about where he lives. He really, really doesn’t want to talk about it, and he doesn’t want to tell Naruto why. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to exclude Naruto either, wants to answer his questions, wants to try this friendship thing Naruto’s been forcing on him for years now. </p><p> </p><p>“I can go, if you want me to,” he offers, and he <em> really </em> wants to facepalm himself. He doesn’t want to <em> leave </em> , he missed the idiot and wanted to spent time with him - which, oh. Wow, <em> really </em> ?  Sasuke wanted someone’s presence, someone’s friendship, and chooses <em> Naruto </em> of all people <em> … </em>?</p><p> </p><p>What are the fucking <em> odds </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Did I say that?” Naruto asks and sits down in an old armchair, waving Sasuke to the couch. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks around; he expected mess everywhere, just like Naruto is, but is mildly surprised about his friends’ home. Yes, there were things of daily usage, some dishes from breakfast Naruto left in the sink, his pajamas just dropped next to his pillow, but the bed was made - not neatly and with experted movement, but well enough to be considered <em> made </em>-, few homegrown tomatoes on the kitchen desk, ninja equipment on the dinner table, obviously laid out for later sharpening. Sasuke sits down and pretends he knows why he’s here. </p><p> </p><p>“I presume you’ve got another lesson for me,” Naruto starts. “May I offer you some tea perhaps?” </p><p> </p><p>“You are learning yourself,” Sasuke recognizes. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shrugs, stands up, puts the kettle on and remains facing the kitchen desk with his back to the room (and Sasuke), but his pink ears tell all there is to know. “I was… I was just remembering mostly Sakura’s and yours behaviour. And Kakashi’s, too, especially when it comes to baa-c-, um, Godaime.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke leans his head to the side - there is… there’s this thing about Naruto. Everyone thinks he’s stupid, because he doesn't know boundaries and doesn't have the right knowledge of people’s behaviour, since he was ignored his entire childhood, but he’s just… not. He’s intelligent, and with the right education and nurturing he could have easily been the smartest in their class, maybe surpassing Sasuke sooner rather than later, and Sasuke feels incredibly sad about it, especially in moments like these. </p><p> </p><p>(The same feeling as the one he experienced few days back on that training field - something important, deep and heavy was settling at the back of his mind, in the pit of his stopach, too. He felt it as it grew stronger, but still wasn't sure what it was.) </p><p> </p><p>“You… are doing really well,” Sasuke praises him, voice silent, as if he doesn't want Naruto to really hear him. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I just… it’s just that most of the time I just assume people ignore me and don't want to hear me, so I get loud and annoying so they would… they would see me, listen to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“I see you,” Sasuke retorts, as honest and ashamed (and his cheeks go pink, too) as he can muster. It’s good Naruto has his back turned to him, watching the kettle, getting the tea ready. “I’ve always listened to you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I… I know. I didn't really know what to do with that, now that I look back to it,” Naruto chuckles a bit, embarrassed and amused by their honesty. </p><p> </p><p>“But it’s different now, isn't it?” Sasuke retorts. “It’s.... people take you seriously. Listen to you, hear you, see you. You are not that kid anymore, are you?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto silently curses the tea for being ready already, pours two cups and takes them to the main area, handing Sasuke his and leaving on the coffee table his own, feeling ashamed he’d have to face Sasuke for the rest of the conversation now. “I’m… not sure. Yes, I think. I mean, b-the Godaime takes me pretty seriously. And… I think you, even when you don't really let me know that, you do take me seriously.” </p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Sasuke agrees immediately. “Bickering and fighting and cursing and all that, but I do take you seriously. You mean something to me.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke silences himself in a gesture of bringing his tea to his mouth - he’d rather burn his tongue than embarrass himself furtner -, it’s like he can't stop, when around the blond. Like he can't stop talking, praising, <em> ensuring </em> , his only friend. It’s embarrassing and actually inadequate, since Naruto should have had an adult who’d do these things for him, it shouldn’t be someone who’s taking a personal interest in Naru - <em> wait </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Wait a moment. What the fuck - <em> personal interest </em> , Sasuke, what the <em> entire </em>fuck?! </p><p> </p><p>“I… yes, you mean something to me, too. I just… I think you were right, few days back, I just assumed you… well, yes, you don't ignore me, but you don't… eh, acknowledge me, either, as… as, I don't know how to put it without being embarrassing and blunt,” Naruto apologizes. </p><p> </p><p>“That's okay, I’m not gonna laugh,” Sasuke whispers. “I know you are feeling vulnerable and I promised I’ll help you with these things. It’s okay, I’m not here to hurt you or make fun of you for not knowing how to deal with things by yourself.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto sighs, feeling at loss, but he decided to trust Sasuke with his life and his core, too, and to be honest, it’s time for him to make up his mind and act like an adult. “I lacked you acknowledging me as your partner. As someone you can… trust.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't really follow - he trusts Naruto with his life, he trusts him enough to be here, to try and make this friendship thing work for his sake (<em> whom are you fooling, Sasuke?! </em>)  - so what does Naruto mean by this? </p><p> </p><p>“I mean,” Naruto murmurs, “you don't… you know.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not… sure what you mean,” Sasuke admits but isn’t happy about it. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean, when we… you know, I… uh,” Naruto squirms in the old armchair that looks oddly comfortable, obviously uneasy about this conversation.</p><p> </p><p>There is a moment of silence, where Sasuke knows Naruto needs time, and Naruto contemplates, whether is what he wants to say worth it, or he’d be risking this fragile friendship. Sasuke sees his uneasiness and decides to intervene with a light, reassuring tone. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, I’m here. I know you are feeling uneasy about this, maybe you are afraid what my opinion on you will be after this, but I promised you I won’t laugh, or think less about you. It’s not your fault you don't know some things. And it’s okay for you to feel emotions, too, and show them of course. So go on, I won’t leave, and I won’t laugh. I promise.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto holds Sasuke’s gaze for a while, then nods: “Okay”, but there is still silence. It’s growing heavier and Sasuke wants nothing but help the blond. </p><p> </p><p>“Take your time,” he says instead of pushing Naruto to speak, make up his mind quickly and give direct answers. “It’s alright, I’ll wait. Think about what you want to say.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto licks his lips and even thought he still has issues with this, he decides to hit the “fuck it” button. </p><p> </p><p> “When I have…” he starts abruptly, and stops just like that. It takes him another few seconds to start speaking again. “You know, I do… I do alot for… for us, when we get attacked and we… and I know you plan on helping the others in team and your plan usually is a good one, always saved us and all that but I mean, you don't… you don't really <em> count </em> on… well, me. And my help and contribution to the team, you just... <em> Act </em> and don't tell me what your plan is and it seems like you don't really take me seriously at all in your plan of attack. So I was just. Why don't… you tell me what you plan on doing before you start acting? I’m sure there is a way you can let me know what should I do, where do you want me, where I could be helpful? You know I’m not witty, I don't get things like Kakashi does and I don't have the smarts to follow your plan without you letting me know. And I know I fuck up alot and get on your nerves and I just get in your way and then you start yelling at me for being stupid and in the way and I know that, I <em> do </em> , I just… if you told me before, I’d stick to your plan and a least wouldn't come in your way, stay at bay or actually help you - I’m not in the team to purposely <em> sabotage </em>you, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, Sasuke feels a tad bad, when he puts it like this. From Naruto’s point of view it must look like Sasuke doesn't count on him, doesn't know how to <em> approach </em> him (because of his lack of knowledge of Naruto’s personality traits, ninjutsu skills and combat abilities), which is an utter <em> lie </em> to begin with. From where Naruto is looking, it seems like Sasuke is doing this on <em> purpose </em> , not telling Naruto things on purpose so he can <em> poke fun </em> on him for not being a good enough shinobi, make him feel humiliated just because Sasuke knowingly used something he knows about his comrade well enough (and knows Naruto is ashamed of it) <em> against </em> him for <em> this solemn purpose </em> : to hurt him, to scar him, to make him feel <em> stupid </em> , useless, to <em> make him </em> fuck up. </p><p> </p><p>“I don't…” Sasuke starts after a while, ashamed and mad, and then he realizes it’s not time to make excuses or trying to force Naruto think otherwise, to how his point of view and insist on his version. Naruto deserves an <em> apology </em>to say the least, not Sasuke telling him he should be able act on his own - and it was not true either, since they were working in teams - so he looks up to meet Naruto’s disturbingly blue eyes; if he’s about to apologize, he might as well do it right: “You are right, Naruto. I apologize. You are right, I should have known better than to use my knowledge against you. It was wrong of me, and I deeply apologize for doing this to you. Please note it was not my intention to hurt you, make you feel ashamed or useless or stupid. It was my fault, I keep insisting I am the leader of our team when Kakashi can’t, and I should’ve done better. I failed you, and I am sorry for it. I promise not to do that again, and if I do, please be mad me, remind me, let me know I did wrong, as I promise to change my behaviour during missions and attacks, to include you, count on you, think of you as well.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto blinks once, twice and then just smiles slightly into his cup. “That was nice to hear.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is embarrased, but he is also kind of content. It’s the least he could do for the small blond. “Was it?” </p><p> </p><p>“I only had one person to apologize to me in my life, and that was Iruka-sensei, when… uh, when I graduated. I protect the memory in my mind and guard it as it is special to me. Important. When I don't feel my best, I always come back to that memory, because it was the first time I personally saw someone acknowledging me and apologizing to me, explaining I didn't deserve to be treated like that. So yeah, this sounds… rather nice.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke swallows the words of pity, because he knows that's not something Naruto wants to hear. Instead he decides to tell: “He’s right. You didn't deserve it, and you don't. Especially not from me.” </p><p> </p><p>“I just… what should I do, now?” </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“When… someone apologizes to me. What should I… do?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke finds himself getting angry. The society fucked this kid up so bad he didn't even know how to answer an apology. And Sasuke decided he wanted to be honest, wanted to help him. So he says: “That depends on you and the situation and the person. You can accept the apology and act like it didn't happen, if its minor. You can accept the apology but wait for the person to work for your trust to be gained back. You can accept the apology and move on, but not forgive the person. You can also not accept the apology, because they apologized for something that in your eyes didn't deserve an apology. And you can dismiss the apology, if it weren’t sincere, if you feel like the person didn't mean it. You also don't accept apology when someone hurt you to beyond you can ever forgive, beyond to fix by a simple “I’m sorry”. That is all your decision to make.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke keeps his tone gentle and slow so Naruto has time to proceed all of this. He sees how he slowly but precisely categorises the people who did him wrong; who are people he can never forget or accept an apology from, and whom he had already forgiven. Sasuke figures Iruka is the first member in the latter category, but for himself he wasn't sure. </p><p> </p><p>“So?” Sasuke ask after few minutes of silence, while Naruto was obviously sorting his mind. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” </p><p> </p><p>“I apologized, what is your stance on my apology?” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, of course, I forgive you,” he smiles lightly, like the humiliation Sasuke caused him was just a minor inconvenience. </p><p> </p><p>“I… Naruto, are you sure? I mean, I hurt you and done you wrong-!” </p><p> </p><p>“And now you apologized,” Naruto interrupts him. “And beyond, you are working on it, it’s not just words.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke swallows what he was to say next and slowly agrees, “Yes, I want to help you. Make it up to you.” </p><p> </p><p>“I can accept this kind of apology,” Naruto agrees lightly, sipping his tea. “If you prove yourself.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke swears to himself he will. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. During a mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>At a light moment of panic, he says: “I can let you be the dominant one in our relationship.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Mission, mission, Naruto mumbled under his breath. All we do is C-ranks. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Well, the last time Team 7 took a C-ranked mission shit hit the fan and Sasuke and Naruto both ended up nearly dead. Which, cool experience for them as a team, but slightly troublesome, if you ask Sasuke. </p><p>
  
</p><p>This time, situation was different. Naruto was tailing behind the convoy they were supposed to protect from burglars and unwanted attention was only carrying some unimportant things Naruto wasn't interested in, so he used his time to think about all Sasuke taught him so far. He looked up to find the youngest Uchiha looking back at him most of the time, turning his head and obviously not listening to anything Sakura was telling him (which brought a bit of inappropriate joy to the blonde) and while he was aware of his friends’ looks, he never returned any. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Finally, after few hours, Sasuke gave up, stood by the side of the road and waited for the convoy to pass him so he could join Naruto at the end of it, behind the last carriage of it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“What are you doing here, Usuratonkachi.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Tailing,” Naruto answers, as if it wasn't obvious. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke is actually taken aback, because… Kakashi never said anything about tailing or who should take the worst place in the convoy, yet Naruto was learning to be responsible enough to take this place even if he hated it and even when (if this wasn’t a simple C, but rather A-ranked mission) it was potentially most dangerous place to take. “You don't need to do that on C-ranks.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yeah? And how did that helped us the last time we were given a C-rank,” Naruto murmurs. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke would say something, but he finds himself rather amused - Naruto is right. He also remembers how the blond told him people automatically treat him as if he was the dumbest thing in the universe without ever asking his reasons for doing so, therefore his next words are: “You are right. I’m sorry for assuming differently.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto finally snaps his head up and looks into his friends eyes, disbelief apparent, as he whispers urgently: “We are not in private!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke shrugs and closes his eyes, sets his pace in sync with Naruto and keeps his hands in pockets. “You are right. We should be careful, especially with our experience.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto doesn't say anything, but after few steps, he visibly slows down, walking five, six steps behind his older friend. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“What… are you doing, now?” Sasuke asks, careful not to have a negative undertone; he’s curious and a bit annoyed his friend doesn't want to stay by his side, but Naruto proved himself careful and thoughtful enough to actually have a plan, and Sasuke is so done making Naruto feel humiliated just because he is less lucky in life than Sasuke was. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Tailing,” Naruto repeats, silent but firm. “I get it, you came to <em> actually </em>tail since I’m the weakest in the team, but I promised I keep my stance towards you personal, with no strangers to know how we have sort of mutual agreement. I’m not willing to put my only friendship in danger only because I wasn't able to follow one simple rule.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke, at that moment, never regretted anything more in his entire life. Okay, maybe he felt like that few weeks back, when Naruto and Sasuke started to talk and having lessons about life and people and socializing and appropriate behaviour, but that didn't mean he felt the same now. </p><p>
  
</p><p>It’s not like there was anyone around, anyway. They walked behind a three wagon carriage with three pairs of horses, keeping the two boys at least fifty yards away from other humans who lead the whole carriage. They definitely couldn't hear them, and even if they could, Sasuke was sure they didn't care at all.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“It’s okay,” Sasuke finds himself saying. “If I come to you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto is silent and Sasuke doesn't find it comfortable to just keep talking to someone who is trailing few feet behind him, so he stops again and waits for Naruto to walk by his side once more. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Are you changing the rules?” Naruto asks with no readable emotion. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“If you are comfortable with it,” Sasuke agrees. “If I come to you first and not the other way around, it’s okay for us to be seen together in public.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Okay,” Naruto agrees. “I agree.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Good,” Sasuke smiles to himself, making sure his smile isn't seen (he’s not ready to share that with Naruto just yet). </p><p>
  
</p><p>“About this,” Naruto speaks up, more confident now, louder, but not annoyingly. “How comes you always have the last word in every conversation?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I don't!” Sasuke defends. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Is that so?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Whatever you say, then.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I said what I said, Naruto.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I believe you,” Naruto provokes, with a smile on his face. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh please, stop it!”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m not doing anything!”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke wants to prove Naruto otherwise, but realizes that would just prove his point, so he sighs and uses the already agreed upon gesture of “retreat” they managed to settle between themselves last week: holds out his fist, waiting for Naruto to accept and gently bump into it with his own. Naruto chuckles and complies without a second thought - putting Sasuke at ease about Naruto being secretly mad at him. The touch of the back of their fingers is so light it’s nearly electrifying, yet so real Sasuke finds it hard to breathe in properly. They accomplished here something, he realizes, when Naruto smiles and doesn't fight further, accepting Sasuke’s quirk as it is and Sasuke accepting Naruto is… right. He obviously does need to have the last word. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Sorry, it’s probably… one of the things I need to reassure my dominance.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Why?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke wants to spit out a “the fuck you care for?!” type of an answer, but upon looking to the blonds eyes he realizes it’s a question belonging to their sessions on behaviour. Sasuke cannot <em> not </em>answer this question without breaking their bond. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, I… I don't really know, it’s just I feel the need to always be… the dominant one. In everything, really. Leading, deciding, taking all the responsibility,” Sasuke shrugs. “It’s just who I am.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Why?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Because of what happened when… you know,” Sasuke murmurs. “I just… I don't want anyone to think I am a “poor child, losing all his family”. That's not the person i wanna be. I want to be a strong, loyal shinobi. I need… I need control in my life, over everything that's happening, because if not, I feel weak again. Like I did the night it all happened. I was barely five, it’s not like I could actually stand up to him, not like I could... “ </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto is as silent as ever, being afraid to even breathe or move other than walk straight forward, not changing the pace, not moving his head or eyes. He feels how personal this information to Sasuke is, how deeply he probably guards his fear. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“...Actually defend my family, or stood up to him, I just… I want to make sure that one day, I can. And for that, I have to be strong. I can't… it’s deep in me to always need to be the dominant one in everything. Be it a conversation, fight, knowledge, spirit.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto keeps silent at that. It’s obvious Sasuke wants him to say something, but Naruto lacks the witts to acknowledge Sasuke’s confession. At a light moment of panic, he says: “I can let you be the dominant one in our relationship.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke stops dead in his track (Sasuke was perfectly aware of what he admitted could sound sexually as well, but Naruto - being Naruto - was probably as oblivious as ever) and looks at Naruto’s face as to look for something. Sincerity, probably. “What do you mean?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I can… let you be the dominant one in our relationship. I… don't actually mind you having the last word. And you do dominate our team, much to Kakashi’s dislike. You are a natural leader and I don't mind you being so. I understand that’s something that makes you feel safe, secure, am I right?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke slowly nods, keeping an eye on his extroverted friend. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto smiles brightly and starts walking again, keeping the same pace as before, but walking slightly happier, Sasuke notices. Sasuke joins him and they go on, side by side, in wildly unexpected silence. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Why are you so happy?” Sasuke asks after a while. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Ha?” Naruto turns his head to face his friend, disturbed from his thoughts probably. “I, well, because of you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke still looked like his question wasn't answered, so Naruto added a silent: “Finally know how to make you happy, is all.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke’s eyebrows flew up when he realized Naruto cared about him. Not in the “aw, poor kid!” way, but in “I want to make you happy” kind of way, which was, for some reason, as strange as Naruto being the one who ought to that thought. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Why does that make you happy?” Sasuke asks, confused. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, shouldn't it?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I- I don't honestly… know,” Sasuke looks down to the road, both of them falling silent again. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto keeps his look straight forward, not sure what is going on in Sasuke’s mind, but obviously feeling uneasy about it. “I- uh. I did something wrong, right? Told something stupid and made you feel bad.” Naruto asumes, and Sasuke realizes it’s the other way around - that his silence is making <em> Naruto </em>feel bad. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No, I just…” Sasuke trails, not looking up. “You did nothing wrong, I’m just thinking… I… well, can you - can you… can get to the bottom of this? Why does… <em> that </em>make you happy?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I… well, you told me something personal about yourself, so there’s that,” Naruto explains, not really thinking about it and yeah, that Sasuke can see. Yes, that is a good thing. It should make friends happy, he supposes. “And I know what makes you happy now, too.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Too?” Sasuke repeats, somewhat still confused. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yes. You know what makes me happy, in general, don't you?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke pauses; aside of obvious (acknowledgement, Iruka, team 7 and team 10, <em> ramen </em> )  he doesn't really consider personal, he thinks about this for a while. What makes Naruto happy? People, someone he can have a good laugh with without fear of feeling like a monster, sleeping in, starry nights, night traveling, winning a fight where he’s the black horse, being <em> useful </em> - those Sasuke thought of in less than a second. And yet, Naruto didn't really know up till now how to make his only friend happy. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I mean, I always let you be better when we train because I know you like it,” Naruto mumbles under his breath. “But that was just a guess and I didn't know I could make you happy without you humiliating me publically so-!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“What,” Sasuke interrupts. “What did you just say?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“That I didn't know there was anything I could do to make you happy without me getting humiliated by you,” Naruto repeats matter of factly, like it’s something normal, like commenting the weather, like making an usual remark about something you take a third party at, but Sasuke shakes his head.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“There’s so many things wrong with this sentence I want to vomit, and Iľl back to that in a while, but no, I mean… the first like, what was… about you letting me be better…?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” Naruto follows. “Like the one about throwing chakra-forming kunais. Hn, that one I had Asuma to teach me a year before when I found out about affanities and realized mine is the air, or wind, however you wanna call it. I didn't want you to be unhappy, so I pretended I didn't know how to do it so you… you know, ‘d be happy you once again learned a technique sooner and quicker than I did.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Why the hell would you do that?!” Sasuke is perplexed beyond comprehending what is the kid even suggesting here. “Why the fuck - what had- <em> what </em> the- <em> fuck </em>-?!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh,” Naruto bows his head. “I’m sorry. I should had not tell you, socially acceptable conversation speaking, right.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke opens his mouth as to say something, tell him he was stupid and why would he ever <em> do that </em> ?! He’s so out of it he doesn't even know <em> what </em> to say, how to say it, how to start, how to tell him that it wasn't supposed to be like this, that he should <em> never </em> put anyone before himself, he can’t just let people <em> humiliate </em> him for <em> their </em> happiness, what the <em> entire fuck </em> even-?! “What-why would…?!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I apologize?” Naruto tries, silently begging for approval he loved, especially from Sasuke. “I didn't mean to hurt you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No I -” and Sasuke can now recall how he called Naruto stupid, when he finally grasped the technique himself, obviously laughing in Naruto’s face for failing to beat him at yet another thing, and how Naruto wasn't really that upset, he just agreed with Sasuke and then asked him for tips to learn the technique Sasuke was yet again better at. And he sees it as bright as if it happened yesterday - how he humiliated Naruto, told him he was stupid for not understanding the chakra flow, how <em> pleased </em> he was Naruto was again the worst in their team - and now learning Naruto did this on <em> purpose </em> , was probably doing this on multiple occasions because he wanted <em> Sasuke to be happy </em> , wanted Sasuke <em> to feel better </em> , wanted nothing but to keep their whatever fucked up kind of partnership, because it was important to him and Naruto <em> didn't want to risk anything by becoming better than Sasuke </em> for <em> the Uchiha’ sake </em>, as some kind of sick, desperate need to keep him in a good mood, that of course Naruto concluded to what he said earlier: I thought that the only way to make you happy is letting you humiliate me. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And yeah, Sasuke’s gonna vomit. He’s definitely gonna be sick, his head was spinning and he felt like <em> crying </em> and he <em> never </em> cried, but right now he felt like the ground was crumbling, like his head was gonna split open, the guilt that was feeling must burn his entire body, his entire <em> soul </em>. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I-Naruto, I…” he doesn't actually know what to say, his tone is slightly hysterical, as panic sets him off. “I - I don't know how to approach this, because obviously you felt like I can only be somewhat happy when I see you fail and when I humiliate you, and I never wanted this, I always thought this is allowed level of bickering - but I never realized that's how <em> you </em> feel it, and I should have, if I want to be the adult here, the responsible one, I should had known better and I shouldn't had done it, especially when you don't understand how <em>awfully</em> I hurt you - because of how adults and everyone, really, treat you, so you are apologizing to me, when it’s supposed to me apologizing <em> to you, </em> I should be begging <em> you </em> for your forgiveness actually, because I hurt you on a level I wasn’t aware of, I took your feelings lightly and I shouldn't have. Naruto, I am… I am so, so deeply sorry for making you feel like this, I hurt you and I’ve done you so wrong, I don’t even know - I didn't realize - dear <em>gods</em>, what have I <em>done</em>...!?!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke stood there in horror, watching his friend’s kind and sort of bored expression, like Sasuke was talking about something that didn’t interest him in the slightest, like it was nothing, like Sasuke hurting Naruto was a normal, usual thing that’s perfectly appropriate between people who call each other friends. And to Sasuke’s absolute horror, to Naruto, it obviously <em> was </em>. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I told you already, I don't mind,” Naruto shrugs. “I understand your point of view, I see how for you it was just the way you dealt with me, yeah? You don't really think of me being that stupid, right?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I do not, absolutely <em> under any circumstances </em>think you are stupid. Never had I, you acted stupid, sometimes, but you are not stupid, Naruto. Never you had been, either,” Sasuke answers honestly, quickly, without thinking, still terrified and disgusted at this entire situation, about how indifferent he was with behaviour, how he was stupid and ignorant, and how Naruto thought it’s perfectly okay from Sasuke to behave this way.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“See? So I, yeah, of course I’m happy something makes you happy without humiliating me, now.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“How can you even say that-” Sasuke actually stops now, dead in his tracks, touching Naruto’s upper arm, stopping him too. “How can you say that, after all the horrible things I’ve done to you, after I purposely humiliated you - how-how comes you <em> still </em> want me to be happy, how comes you - you should <em> hate my guts </em> at this point to plan on murder me in my sleep!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I wouldn't murder anyone in their sleep,” Naruto interrupts him. “That’s not an acceptable behaviour for a shinobi.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke couldn't agree more, thinking back to his brother once again. “You know what I mean.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, I get it, tho. Sasuke, one of the things you are forgetting is, I was always ignored. By everyone. You never did that.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Great, so instead of ignorance you got humiliation, that’s just fucking perfect,” Sasuke retorts, his voice sarcastic, stinging and venomous, hatred towards himself filling his entire being. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I don't want you to undervalue what you not ignoring me means to me,” Naruto frowns and Sasuke immediately withdraws. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I-no, I didn't mean to, it’s not your fault,<em> I </em> did that, Naruto. <em> I </em> am the wrong one in this, that sarcasm wasn't directed at you, but at <em> myself </em> . I would never undervalue your feelings knowingly, but <em> I did </em> in the past I see, without me realizing it and I am deeply sorry for that. I should have known. I should have acted differently. And I don't… I don't <em> deserve </em> you making me happy, Naruto, I don't deserve forgiveness, I don't deserve… I don't deserve <em> you </em>.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto stands still for a while, watching his friend. He looks at the hand still touching his arm, with his mind blank. He feels like <em> crying </em>. “I fucked it up, right?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke, still deeply embarrassed as well as shocked, <em> mortified </em>, even, stutters out a “What?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“We… you don't want to be friends with me now, do you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“What the fuck - <em> no </em> ! Naruto, I… I don't deserve to be anything more than a <em> despised shit </em> you hate, for fuck’s sake!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Despite Sasuke’s yelling, Naruto remains perfectly calm. He sees Sasuke’s hand withdrawing, leaving his upper arm and yes. He’s <em> definitely </em>gonna cry now. He should keep walking, keeping his head down so Sasuke wouldn't see. Of course Sasuke wouldn't want to be friends with him. Of course he’d be mad at Naruto for he lied to the Sharingan. Now, Naruto would be alone again, but this time it’s gonna be even worse - he knows what it is like to have a friend now, to have someone to keep him company, stay in after training, talk to, listen to, get help and reassurance from. He’ll be alone again, but lonelier than he’d ever been. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Naruto…?” Sasuke notices, of course he does. “Are - are you crying?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No,” Naruto sobs, trying to be nonchalant about it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke hesitates and tries to imagine this is exactly how Naruto feels all the time: what is appropriate? How can he react? What is the best to say? </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Naruto, I didn't want to make you cry,” Sasuke’s hand is back on Naruto’s upper arm, the touch is comforting, a good way of heavy. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m not crying,” the blond insist, breathing hard, choking on a sob.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Okay, you are not crying,” Sasuke agrees with the blatant lie. “But I made you sad. And I didn't want that. I want nothing more than to be your friend.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I fucked up, got you mad,” Naruto argues. “You don't want to be my friend anymore.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“You didn't - you… <em> ah </em> ,” Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to find a solution for Naruto to understand that <em> he </em> is the one who should be angry. “You didn't do anything wrong. Anything. You were a good, supporting friend. But by the way we are both fucked up, and we are, really, I was unable to see how you let me humiliate you, because you think it’s what makes me happy. It’s not. Please trust me my happiness doesn't mean your humiliation. I should not, under any circumstances, feel happy about you failing. I did wrong, I hurt you, I let you suffer, while all you did was thinking about my feelings, my happiness. Please, understand, Naruto, that <em> you </em> should be mad at <em> me </em>for I did you wrong.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I upset you,” Naruto sniffs, his tone watered with tears, his voice low. “By what I said.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, no, not you. I got upset because I did you wrong, and you are such a sweetheart you just went with it and hoped it will be enough for me to keep… not ignoring you. I need you to know I want you to show it to my face how much better than me you are getting. How strong and skillful you became just by yourself, with noone’s help, with noone explaining you things. I want you to make fun of me for losing to you. I want you to show me how strong and smart you are. I am so excited for the day you learn a technique sooner than I do - I want you to do the same bickering to me as I do to you, laugh at me when I learn something later than you, when I keep making basic mistakes - and I am making them, trust me. I want you to be confident and snarky with me, I want you to be exactly who you are with me; loud and confident, and extroverted and full of energy and kind of out of boundaries in situations, because it keeps me out of my own comfort zone I tend to exclude everyone out of. I want you to keep doing what you are doing, pulling me out of my shell of hatred and loneliness, I want you to keep changing me, teaching me things.  I want you to teach me and help me becoming stronger in our rivalry way, but without you letting me better and pretending you are dumb when I know you are not. I never wanted you to think I need to be better than you for my own sake of comfort, in a way of accomplishing something. I want you to be yourself about our relationship, I want you to keep getting closer to me, getting me into uncomfortable situations, because it’s helping me grow up, see things from different points of view, it’s helping me becoming a better shinobi, yes, but most of all, better human. I want you to udnerstand I hurt you, and I am so, so sorry for it. Please do note I didn’t do it on purpose, I was just stupid, and blind to your emotions, and really, really ignorant. I’m sorry, Naruto. I am. I made you feel unimportant and stupid, while it was me who was the stupidest around. You were the smart one, the adult one here all the while, and I was the stupid one. I was wrong and you were right. I did bad and you did well. You were better, smarter than me. Do you… do you understand that?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>It’s Sasuke’s desperate tone that keeps Naruto’s attention fixated on him. The words veiling his mind, his ego, his feelings onto something soft and delicate. Naruto stopped crying by the end of Sasuke’s confession, his tone and urgency making the blonde feel important, good, comfortable, flattered. He had Sasuke’s full attention, he had Sasuke telling him he’s not stupid, calling him smart and important, even. And Naruto was in heaven, his mind floating on something light, warm, sweet and happy. That wasn't a feeling he knew or ever dealt with, not feeling embarrassed, bad, stupid and ignored - he didn't know how to react to something like this. </p><p>
  
</p><p>At loss of words Naruto just nods and wipes the tears off his face. Sasuke smiles softly, trusting his friend now, his hand on Naruto’s arm tightening for a bit and then letting go. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I was wrong, then,” Naruto concludes after a while, his tone uneasy, face red, words slurred a bit together, shoulders slumped, head still bowed down. “Me getting humiliated wasn't what made you happy.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No, it absolutely was not,” Sasuke agrees and he is honest. He liked to bicker about Naruto being the worst in the team, but he was excited for the time when Naruto happens to get stronger, when it’s gonna become harder and harder to beat him. He knew they can challenge each other to infinity and beyond if their friendship straightens. “You trying to be better than me makes me happy. I’m… I hope it will be soon when you challenge me and I’ll struggle to beat you, and one day you win, and then we’ll be even, sometimes it’s gonna be me who loses, sometimes you, and we’ll fighting side by side against everyone, basically unstoppable.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto looks up to meet Sasuke’s honest eyes: “That would make you happy?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yes. Yes, that… I’m really excited for that,” Sasuke agrees and lets a half-smile pass his face. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto watches him, studying his features, his smile, cheekbones and eyes, all telling the truth. “I’m sorry I lied to you about the things i already knew before you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke has to ask: “Were there many?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well… no. Not too many. Walking on water, the kunai thing, few of the taijutsu moves I was smarter to ask Guy-sensei rather than Kakashi-sensei. There weren’t many, tho.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke turns around and finds the convoy is nearly a mile before them. “Should we catch up?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto smiles and agrees, starting to walk again in slightly firmer pace than before. They are silent till they catch up with the convoy they silently decide to tail together. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yo, Naruto,” Sasuke puts his hands into his pockets again in a pretended indifference. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Hm?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Even with… even with what I did to you, how I treated you and made you think you have to behave in order to have my acknowledgement…” and Sasuke has enough decency to blush, “you still wouldn't mind to let me dominate this relationship?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto is silent for a while, probably testing different scenarios in his head. Sasuke gives him space, lets him think as he tries to do the same; would Naruto let him lead most of what they did? It would erase most arguments between them, but Sasuke knew about compromises and knew about teamwork. If he really wanted to dominate their conversations as well as their actions, he’d have to take full responsibility for Naruto’s behaviour, even now, when the boy was all yells and no brain, when things got heated up - and then he realized, it’s the least Naruto deserves. For how the village, their classmates, he himself treated him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’m not… sure what exactly that would mean,” Naruto says after a while. “But I don't think I’d mind that much.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“What about me having the last word?” Sasuke asks, smile at the corner of his lips. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto chuckles, tears still apparent in his childlike face, but obviously happier now: “You’d have to fight me to it.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>And yeah, Sasuke was fine with that. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please note english is my 3rd language, its 4 AM and I hate meself. Thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. In the bathroom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Physical touch and intimacy isn't something you can require from emotionally traumatized people,” Naruto mumbles, head down, embarrassed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>After their yet another touchy-feely moment (and Sasuke felt a little woozy about the fact they were physically <em> unable </em>to have a conversation without an Icha Icha level of angst) Sasuke’ll make sure Naruto doesn't stay on his own, and doesn't feel left out, either; at least that's what he’d sworn to himself. </p><p> </p><p>After yet another c-rank they found themself in a small motel with Kakashi treating his team for dinner for “behaving well and completing their mission rather quickly”. Naruto yells happily and asked if there’s gonna be ramen served. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto, the yelling,” Sasuke reminded him easily, instead of yelling it back, annoyed. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Yeah, I’m sorry for yelling. I’m working on it, promise,” Naruto nearly whispers, his cheeks blushing. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi cocks his eyebrow, watching the two of them oddly - since when…? </p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, thank you for apologizing,” Sasuke tells him and Naruto beams, happy he did something right. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi stays there, dumfounded, as Naruto holds down his bag and Sasuke follows, keeping close to the blonde. <em> What the fuck…? </em> Where is their rivalry and stupid yelling at each other an stupidity and <em> annoyingness </em> ? Since when does Sasuke scold Naruto and he just <em> accepts </em>it, apologizes, and Sasuke thanks him for it, and that's it? The fuck is going… on…? </p><p> </p><p>“Good work, everyone,” Sasuke says to the team. “Let’s head to our rooms and meet downstairs for dinnertime, then. Thank you, Kakashi.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yup,” Naruto agrees, gleeful and wholehearted, but still not yelling. “Thanks!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, about that,” Kakashi stops them. “Rooms.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks up form looking for something in his bag: “You and Sakura and me an Naruto?” </p><p> </p><p>“Y...yes,” Kakashi actually stutters, not following the change in their behaviour. Those two had been quite weird for a few weeks now, working well together, finally finding their rhythm. But Kakashi, being <em> Kakashi </em> , didn't pay much attention to his students behaviour-wise, including all of their mood-swings and feelings into one bubble of “teeagers agst, eh”, and not caring in particular, but this was… <em> unusual </em>. A bit scary, actually. </p><p> </p><p>“Can you take our stuff up, Naruto, Sakura? I gotta talk to Kakashi,” Sasuke continues and Kakashi realizes he’s… <em> leading the team </em> , completely excluding the jounin, because yes, Naruto and Sakura actually do listen to his orders without a second thought; Sakura yes, she always does everything the Uchiha tells her, but <em> Naruto… </em>? </p><p> </p><p>“Mind explaining?” the jounin asks. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s something off,” Sasuke tells him. “I think we are being followed.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we are. I’m not sure what they want, but they might come-!” </p><p> </p><p>“For Naruto,” Sasuke finishes. “I think so, too. He doesn't know, I didn't tell him and I won’t - and neither will you. I’ll guard him all night, but I’d appreciate your help and guard the rest of the guests so the stalker won't hurt anyone else.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi looks at him for a while, considering his options, then lets the irony creep up. “You <em> do </em>realize I am the leader of this team.” </p><p> </p><p>“You being older and having more combat experience or skills does not give you the right to lead this team,” Sasuke tells him; calm, but agitated. </p><p> </p><p>Recently, Sasuke found out, he happens to be really angry anytime the village takes Naruto’s name lightly. Mostly the ones who <em> knew </em>, and refused to acknowledge it. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi’s so suprised, he doesn't know how to respond, how to react. “Trust is crucial on missions.” </p><p> </p><p>“I do trust your instincts, and I trust you for having my back and saving the team as well as completing the mission alone, if necessary,” Sasuke agrees. “But that doesn't mean I like you, am fond of you, personally admire you, or approve of your life choices.”</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi holds up his chin, at least physically trying to stand above the child in front of him - he considers himself as a laid back guy, he’s good at keeping his distance from emotionally conflicting with other people, and generally comes off as friendly. But this child’s rudeness is <em> pissing him off </em> right now. “Look, I’m not the kind of a guy who’s bragging about how good he is and all that, but right now, you are crossing a line, <em> kid </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>“Talk about crossing a line while you treat and innocent child like an animal,” Sasuke hisses. “I know it’s not your fault, but you are a part of the problem.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi finally, <em> finally </em>realizes what is this all about, and falters, taking a step back. </p><p> </p><p>“You were his father’s <em> student </em> ,” Sasuke spits out, silent but mad beyond his control. “How could you let this happen?! How could you let the entire village treat your <em> teacher’s child </em> like a <em> scumbag </em>?!” </p><p> </p><p>And yeah. Sasuke’s right. </p><p> </p><p>“I wish I had a suitable answer to that,” Kakashi says, then. “It was just this, really. I knew my sensei died to save the village. And I knew he sealed the fox into his son. And after the war I needed the time to mourn, and get my shit together. There… I couldn't… I couldn't just see the kid for what it was, not to me. I saw my dead sensei, my dead friends, my dead comrades. After the war, after everything, I felt dead inside, too. So I retreated to ANBU, spending most of my time outside the village, never really coming back till the Sandaime called me to lead this team.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke lets him explain, lets him say his opinion. “Is that suppose to win my approval? Or to make me feel sorry for you? Or to give you and excuse!?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Kakashi sighs, realizing his wrongs - he always had, he was just never called on them like this, not by a kid. “I’m just saying, you are right. And I apologize.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke remembers what Naruto told him, and then spits out an angry: “It’s not <em> me </em>you owe an apology to.” </p><p> </p><p>And stomps right up to his and Naruto’s room. He opens the door, still looking angry and furious, and Naruto actually falters, takes a step back from where he was taking one of the fresh towels to have a shower first. “Oh, you can go first if you want.” He offers immediately, noting his friend’s pissed off face. </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Sasuke barks, still angry. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto takes one more step back and looks down: “Are you mad at me?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke scoffs, rolling his eyes, actually annoyed: “Not everytime I’m mad it’s about you, Usuratonkachi.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods, but keeps his head low, not moving in case Sasuke blows again. Sasuke watches him, wants to snicker at how stupid he looks, standing there all subtle and looking small, when he’s a chakra tank full of energy and perfectly able to take down the entire building, but realizes this is not about power, but about emotions. And Naruto’s still weak about those. </p><p> </p><p>He sighs, his shoulders easing back, as he takes a step closer to the blonde. “I’m mad at Kakashi, not at you. We… hm, are going through some… issues together.” </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't want to tell him the truth behind why is he really so pissed. He’s also not really pissed at Kakashi alone, it’s Sandaime, and Iruka, too, and probably everyone, all the adults who treated his blonde like an enemy, like an unwanted weapon. </p><p> </p><p>“Is it… about Sharingan?” Naruto asks silently. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke agrees, happy that Naruto gave him a reasonable excuse. “He doesn't want to tell me where did he get it, and now he insists he can teach me, without… me knowing the background, you know?” </p><p> </p><p>That wasn't necessarily a complete lie per se, either. Kakashi was reluctant to tell him, and Naruto was once present to a conversation about this.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” the Namikaze’s child eases. “I… yeah. I see why that made you mad.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hn,” Sasuke hums, taking in a deep breath, calming himself down and focusing on his surroundings. The feeling like someone is watching them is still there. He needs to be cautious. “Go take your shower now. I’ll wait.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p> </p><p>“And Naruto?” Sasuke calls after him. “Unless I specifically tell you so, I am not mad at you. Okay? I know you are not good at this, so when it’s you I’ll be angry at, I’ll tell you straight away.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks into his eyes and looks for some kind of mockery, but doesn't see any. “Thanks. That would help me. Also… could you also tell me when someone else is mad at me, if I don't recognize it? Like, when… you know, when it’s just anger, and when it is directed towards me?” </p><p> </p><p>That is something Sasuke isn't sure he can stand well. Someone being angry at Naruto - that's not something Sasuke’s is going to take well, especially now, where the knowledge of hurting him by his own ignorance is still fresh in his mind. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke?” Naruto calls his name, when he receives no answer. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Sasuke ensures him. “I’ll explain all emotions directed by anyone to you, when you as much as shoot me a look, don’t worry.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you!” Naruto smiles widely and finally shuts the door to the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke sighs and sorts his things out, getting out fresh clothes, but mostly lost in his thoughts. He still seems to be in a bad mood when Naruto emerges from the bathroom, smelling of shampoo and bodywash that leaves nice, fresh tone to his smell and pleasant deodorant, wearing simple pants and a white shirt instead of his combat suit, Sasuke takes this picture in, like seeing him for the first time. </p><p> </p><p>“Something wrong?” Naruto asks, genuinely afraid. </p><p> </p><p>“No, of course not. Suits you well,” he points his chin to his general direction without further explanation. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks uneasy, not sure what that means and not sure how to tell his friend about that, or if he should. But Sasuke catches up, smiles at him and tells him: “That was a compliment, Naruto. Simple and easy, meaning nothing but to make sure you look acceptable to the occasion, and we are on good terms.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ha, I see,” Naruto beams. Like a sun, Sasuke thinks. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke pauses before he enters the bathroom, considers his options, but then choosing not to lie to him: “Naruto, we are being followed.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Naruto, to his surprise, says. </p><p> </p><p>“How do you…?”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto shrugs and sits down to pull a book out of his backpack. “I am used to being watched from afar, you know. I know when someone is watching me for bad purposes.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke feels it again, the undeniable anger bubbling in him, trying to get to the surface,  explode out of him like a volcano; but for Naruto’s sake he calms himself down and avoiding pity (because Naruto doesn't show his friendship by pity, either) says: “Noone had the right to do that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Naruto smiles, all shy and silent and timid and pretty and dimples and white teeth and adorable - </p><p> </p><p>- And wow, where did <em> that </em>come from. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke purses his lips and wants to close the bathroom door, but Naruto calls his name, so he turns back to the room. </p><p> </p><p>“Last word,” Naruto says in a way as if reminding him. </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” </p><p> </p><p>“You having last word,” Naruto explains. “Mine was ‘thank you’, you gotta say something afterwards.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stops breathing for a second, takes in Naruto’s look, smile, tanned skin, whiskers, sincere eyes. He's serious, Sasuke realizes. He's hundred percent serious. “Anytime.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods to nothing but accepting Sasuke’s last word; and Sasuke is so glad he can hide the blush creeping onto his cheeks, because yes, not only Naruto accepted this quirk, but he actually intended on making sure to not to argue about it, just letting in happen without a fight, without yelling, just accepting it as a fact. And even downstairs, when Sasuke told him what to do, he did so, without complaining, without throwing a fuss about it, just did what Sasuke told him to do, accepting him as the leader, the dominant one of this relationship. Trusting his instincts, trusting <em> him </em>to make the right choice. Sasuke can't help but feel pleased, happy about this turn of events. </p><p> </p><p>Looking at the state of the bathroom, he wasn't as pleased, tho. There was water everywhere, the towel just thrown on the floor with Naruto’s toiletries thrown all around the basin. He wants to yell at the blonde to keep his things straight, but then he just frowns and sighs. He’s the leader of this group. He has to take over the responsibility. So he waits a moment, tries to get himself into kind but firm mood, testing his mind for annoyance - there’s no need to yell at the Uzumaki; there was noone to tell him to be tidy and orderly. Sasuke has to teach him, and help him maintain it, to see the ups of keeping things in order. </p><p> </p><p>He opens the door again, calling Naruto’s name. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” </p><p> </p><p>“The bathroom looks as if something exploded here,” Sasuke starts, calm and easy, but with meaning at the tip of his tongue. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, sorry, sorry,” Naruto makes a beeline for the bathroom, slipping past Sasuke by the door. “I - eh.” </p><p> </p><p>Obviously at loss, Sasuke already decided to guide him with this. “Calm down, I’m not mad. Not yet at least - thank you for not refusing to come clean this up. This is how it works - when you enter somewhere, everywhere, really, you have to leave the place in as much as the state as it was when you came in. Especially when you share with someone. In a few years, you’ll have a partner whom you’ll share your life with, as well as living areas. If it makes me uncomfortable, imagine lets say a girl reacting to this mess.” </p><p> </p><p>“Girls don't like messy stuff,” Naruto muses, understanding where Sasuke goes with this, but doesn't notice the face Sasuke pulls at the mentioning of “girls” - which, good, Sasuke’s not ready to deal with that himself yet, anyway. “I - yeah, okay, I… I’m sorry I didn't clean up after myself.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is really proud of him for sticking to the things he taught him so far: thanking someone for teaching him, acknowledging he’s done wrong, but also this - listening to reasoning and making his own conclusions. He’s proud of how he was able to teach Naruto things everyone else said were impossible to teach him - and Sasuke is glad he was right all along: Naruto is smart, intelligent and intuitive, everyone else were just stupid, because they didn't know how to teach him. Sasuke did his research and quickly understood you just had to speak Naruto’s language first, before you tried to teach him anything. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for apologizing, that's okay, we can fix it,” Sasuke tells him, proud if himself for being able to find his way of treating Naruto when he needed to teach him basic stuff, but mostly proud of his student, proud of his progress in this. “First the floor. Take your towell and dry the floor. Hang the towel here, then. After that, take your toiletries and sort them out, take as little space as you can, think about where your partner would keep their things. Then, wash the basin, it’s a good thing to brush your teeth, but having the toothpaste all around the basin and the mirror is disgusting.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto giggles and does exactly what Sasuke tells him to. When he’s done without fuss and without resistance, Sasuke feels and utter need to reward him. “Thank you, you’ve done really well. I’m also proud of you how well you got the scolding and me schooling you. Is there anything you’d want me to do for you as a reward?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto takes a second, bites his lip and looks down - Sasuke can see his tanned skin blushing, when he shakes his head, but doesn't speak. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? I’m very proud of you, you are behaving really well today. You are using everything I’m teaching you and when you don't know something, you pause and ask without yelling and demanding. You’ve done really well and I want you to know that. So go on, is there something <em> you </em>want, something I could do for you, or something you want to do?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is partly expecting something about talking Sakura into going on a date with the blonde, or maybe playing some kind of a game together, or Sasuke teaching him one of the techniques Naruto doesn't understand well, or maybe to write the next report to the Hokage for him; he definitely doesn't expect Naruto to say: </p><p> </p><p>“A… a hug?” </p><p> </p><p>Second, two, five. “A hug.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto falters and ducks down, mumbling: “Forget it, I wasn't- I wasn't- It wasn't serious, of course I wouldn't - I-I don't-don't-!” </p><p> </p><p>He tries to slip past Sasuke through the door and probably<em> die in a hole </em>somewhere-</p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Sasuke holds out his arm, effectively trapping Naruto within the bathroom, way too close to Sasuke Naruto can stand right now. “I’m sorry for pausing, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or like I didn't like to comply to your wish, I just-!” </p><p> </p><p>“Physical touch and intimacy isn't something you can require from emotionally traumatized people,” Naruto mumbles, head down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Sasuke, I didn't-!” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stops him by immediately and maybe hastily and awkwardly pulling him into his arms. Sasuke squeezes his eyes shut to prevent the tears pooling in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. </p><p> </p><p><em> Naruto </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto goes all still and stiff, not knowing what to do with his limbs and a body leaning to his, ther thighs touching and torsos leaning to one another, the warmth and closeness; he needs instructions, because he doesn't know what to do, what is appropriate - he needs guidance and Sasuke telling him it’s okay to ask, to want directions; he <em> needs Sasuke right now </em>, but Sasuke just needs a second to collect himself. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is making him feel so many things at once, he's making him feel all the stuff he forgot about, a full palette of emotions that require being close to someone, a partnership, friendship of a kind; and Naruto makes him feel it all: responsibility and fear of losing, and care and happiness and a feeling of intimacy, and he just needs to collect himself to be there for Naruto, because he can feel the blonde needing him now for reassuring,explaining, guidance. But right now, Sasuke is so overwhelmed by how Naruto did his homework, understands that intimacy - and physical contact - is <em> obviously </em> an issue for him without Sasuke ever telling him, explaining it to him; as well as he understands the feeling <em> himself </em> , because, given the situation, Sasuke <em> does </em> feel touchstarved, too, and he can't even imagine how touchstarved <em> Naruto </em> must feel - without <em> ever </em> getting as much as a simple hug, and Sasuke is <em> devastated </em> by the sudden realization that Naruto was… never hugged, probably. Never felt what it is like to feel safe in an adults arms, tucked safely to a firm body, trusting them with his life, feeling protected and important, and Sasuke wants <em> nothing </em> at this moment but provide this for Naruto; as well as provide it for himself, which he never felt, not after what had happened <em> that night </em> . He feels like sobbing, he feels like he's gonna vomit, like he's gonna faint, starts screaming, assassinate the Hokage. There's a fucking <em> hurricane </em> of emotions he ignored for a long time in his mind but he pushes it all aside now because he knows <em> Naruto needs him </em>, and he needs Sasuke to speak and make it all okay again, and so Sasuke does. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I just needed a second for myself. It’s okay to want a hug, of course it is,” Sasuke breathes in and adjusts his body towards Naruto, so they both would be more comfortable. “I just… I just realized few things at the same time and that… overwhelmed me. I needed a second for myself, not because I didn't want to share a hug with you. You are right, I have… intimacy issues going on, but that… that applies to strangers, mostly.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn't move, doesn't do anything, doesn't even return the hug, not yet. Sasuke has one arm around his shoulders and one under his arm, his palm across Naruto’s back, and he can feel the blonde’s uneasiness, but he knows Naruto needs guidance for this. He’s willing to wait, to explain. But first Naruto needs to understand Sasuke’s issues about being intimate, so for now, Sasuke lets go of his blonde and releases the hug. Naruto looks embarrassed, still blushing and averting his eyes, but asks a silent: “What kind of issues?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't… <em> do </em>touches. I don't like people in my personal space in general,” Sasuke shares, leaving the bathroom for now, his shower has to wait. </p><p> </p><p>“I figured,” Naruto speaks up, but obviously still thinking. “I shouldn't have asked. That was low of me.” </p><p> </p><p>“No-no, it wasn't,” Sasuke argues. “Like I said, I have issues with personal space when it comes to strangers.” </p><p> </p><p>“Sakura-chan is no stranger, and neither is Kakashi-sensei. And you always take a step or two back - especially from Sakura, when she leans towards you,” Naruto points out. </p><p> </p><p>“Just because I am in the same team as them doesn't mean we are no strangers, Naruto,” Sasuke explains. “I have only one friend. Just one. And Sakura or Kakashi are not that one friend.” </p><p> </p><p>“That's me,” Naruto looks up, suddenly happy. “Right?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke can't help it, and smiles timidly. “That's you.” </p><p> </p><p>“So when I’m no stranger, that means I can be close to you?” Naruto asks just to be sure. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke aloves. “You can share my personal space and we can hug, but only-” </p><p> </p><p>“In private, and only when you agree first,” Naruto interrupts, nods happily and agrees to it. “I get it.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks away but smiles: he actually just wanted to say “we can hug, but please when we do, don't yell into my ear”, so Naruto making this into some kind of secrecy actually hurt him. But at the same time he knew this entire “this is a secret and noone knows about it” was all Sasuke’s doing  - Naruto was just simply following the first rule Sasuke had about this friendship. And once again, Sasuke could hardly blame Naruto for keeping up with the rule Sasuke himself laid out for him. </p><p> </p><p>“As I said before, I’m sorry for making you feel for a while like I didn't want to hug you. I just realized you probably… don't have many people to do that with.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto lowers his head like he was ashamed of it. </p><p> </p><p>“No, don't…” Sasuke leans closer to Naruto again, “That's not your fault, I was just… I just realized. And I was mad. At everyone, really, for… for doing this to you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto seems to wear his blush all the time when Sasuke was around, lately. On the other hand, so was Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>“I don't… I just, wanted to know what it is like, to be physically close to someone, with consent and all. Like sharing something… I-I don't know.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke reaches his hand towards Naruto and waits for him to come closer. Naruto does, carefully and slowly, step closer to Sasuke’s space, and this time, Sasuke knows what he’s doing, so he tells him: “I’m proud of your behaviour today, you’ve done really well. And thank you for not fussing and talking back, when I was lecturing you about bathroom policy. You’ve done very well on the cleaning, too.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is now openly shy, looking up to meet Sasuke’s eyes with pretty smile he tries to hide by biting his lip, being so <em> obviously </em>happy Sasuke’s heart shudders. </p><p> </p><p>“Come here, come close, just like this,” Sasuke speaks slowly, quietly, when Naruto is so close their bodies are touching. “A dominant person, or the initiator of the hug, moves first to choose what side of your head they lean to - I tend to lean to your right cheek, with my right arm on your shoulder holding the back of your neck, my left one sneaking under your arm to your back - and the receiver of the hug is lead to do the exact opposite,” Sasuke talks just as he moves, having Naruto’s body close, holding him, having an armful of the blonde, his hair brushing on his neck and the side of his head. “How you hold me is up to you. You can have your palms right there, squeezing a little, or give me a pat. If it’s appropriate, with a person you are the closest with - or intimate on a sexual level -, you can initiate other things as well. It’s appropriate to rub their back or the back of their neck, or hold and stroke their hips. You can keep your head away from them or nuzzle close, you can hide your face in their neck if you feel like it - it’s a gesture of trust, because it usually means the hug is for comfort. You can just keep your cheeks together, which is common for closest friends. You can lean your face on their shoulder and just stay there for a while, that is mostly gesture of farewell or goodbye. You can kiss the person cheek before you hug them, that is usually for friends, when they greet each other, if they are comfortable. While hugging, you are supposed to say things with your body language you usually can't with words - that's what hugs usually are for, and probably that's the reason you asked for it, too. It was just fitting into the situation of me being proud of you for what you’ve done.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto listens to Sasuke’s speech and tries to memorize it. That’s alot of things you can do during something so simple as a hug. “What is appropriate for best friends? Where is the boundary of what I shouldn't do while hugging you - or maybe Sakura-chan?” </p><p> </p><p><em> There is definitely difference between you hugging me and the pink-haired </em> thing <em> .  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Depends on the bond you share, what you want to say with the hug,” Sasuke submits, talking quietly and intimately near Naruto’s ear. “Right now, I want to say you are important to me and I want you to know it, so I have my head on your shoulder closer to your neck, with no need to let go anytime soon. I’m facing your neck, talking to you, breathing you in - I’m not hugging you, I’m <em> holding </em>you - one hand at the back of your neck is considered very intimate, a gesture you can't do to anyone since it’s a vulnerable place to be touched - and my other hand is gently rubbing your back, i’m trying to comfort you, let you know it’s okay, we are okay, I’m here and you are not alone. </p><p> </p><p>What do you want to say with this hug?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto leans closer to Sasuke’s neck, pausing a bit, and then pressing his nose and cheeks between his shoulder and neck, hiding there, pressing their bodies closer. “I’m grateful. Happy… <em> needy </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can feel Naruto’s fingers digging into his shirt and skin under it, Naruto leaning to him a bit more, heavier. </p><p> </p><p>“You don't need to feel grateful, I’m happy I’m making you happy. And it’s okay to feel needy. Humans are social creatures, we actually do  want some closeness and touching. It’s normal to want to be close to someone you trust,”  Sasuke reassures him and strokes his back from his shoulder to the small of his back, his movement slow, tender, caring. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto actually purrs at that. “That felt nice.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke chuckles lightly, “This?” and repeats his movement, from the small of his back up next to his spine to the back of his neck and down to an appropriate place on his loins. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto sighs, feeling utterly comfortable. “I’ve never felt this good in my entire life,” he whispers. “This is so nice.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hn.” Sasuke is too embarrassed to tell him he feels the same - he had no idea he was touchstarved till this hug. How could he live without it? How can he exist now without Naruto this close to him for the rest of his life?!</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke keeps rubbing his back, changing the position of his head a few times, pressing his cheek to Naruto’s, leaning onto his shoulder, rubbing his nose under his ear, while Naruto’s face stays the same, hidden between Sasuke’s shoulder and neck, behind his black bangs. </p><p> </p><p>“How,” Naruto speaks up after few minutes, “do I know when to… let go?” </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, this is no hug, we are holding each other, embracing one another. A hug is really short, lasting about one to three seconds.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Naruto realizes, pulling off slowly - and Sasuke finds himself restraining, wanting to keep the warm presence of another body a bit longer, reluctant to let go, missing the warmth, the comfort immediately. “So a hug would just be-” he does it again, leans close to Sasuke, closes his arms around him and then immediately lets go, without pressing his nose to Sasuke’s shoulder, without rubbing or patting or holding or stroking, and Sasuke finds the gesture disappointing, short and really just… no. No, just no. Not after he knows what it is like to have Naruto in his arms. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke answers and tries not to let his disappointment apparent in his voice, on his face. “A hug is usually short.” </p><p> </p><p>“Is… is holding you appropriate?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke answers so quickly he feels nearly embarrassed. “It is, but-!” </p><p> </p><p>“In private, I know. And probably only… when you want it?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke sees his chance and goes for it: “You can always ask me. And please, never startle me - I could accidentally attack you, especially if I don't expect it. Bear in mind I’m not exactly used to touches, either, so it can happen that I ask you not to touch me.” </p><p> </p><p>“I understand,” Naruto agrees. “It felt amazing. The holding, I mean.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want more?” Sasuke finds himself asking and wants to feel really embarrassed, but doesn't have the time, because Naruto squeeks happily and immediately launches himself back into Sasuke’s already opened arms. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wants to snickers, just for a good measure, but decides otherwise, because his head was already gently rubbing against Naruto’s cheek and his nose stroking above Naruto’s collarbone, while his hands were rubbing patterns on his back. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke leaned into the arms of his only friend, thinking, I owe him so much more than that, feeling guilty, because he shouldn't be allowed to feel this content, happy, pleased. He was supposed to give Naruto everything he ever needed and more, he doesn't deserve to feel happy and safe now, too. </p><p> </p><p>But he was. And he felt guilty for it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do you see me ugly crying of happiness</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!</p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Naruto was happy skipping down for the dinner Kakashi ordered for them with Sasuke trailing close behind him. He still had a bad feeling about the stalker that might be outside, and he was so focused on it he forgot he has to face Kakashi again. </p><p> </p><p>“Yo,” Kakashi greets them both with himself and Sakura already sitting by the dinning table. “Have a seat and, well, bon appetit.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto grins and thanks his sensei for the meal, while Sasuke only eyes him varily. The conversation they had is obviously not over, Kakashi realizes with a soft sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?” he decides to face his crimes. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is already eating a shrimp, so he looks perplexed when he looks up with is mouth full, and half open. Sasuke forces the urge to slap him and instead he remembers noone taught him this. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s considered impolite to talk or open your mouth while you have food in it,” Sasuke says, keeping his voice down so it would remain subtle, soft and gentle for Naruto to understand this is a part of a lesson, not Sasuke being <em> Sasuke </em>towards him. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto closes his mouth and swallows, subtly licks his lips and then says: “I apologize, won’t do it again.” </p><p> </p><p>“You will,” Sasuke interrupts him and Naruto frowns immediately, ready to start arguing, but Sasuke is faster. “You will do this again, and that's okay, because you are learning. Its okay to make mistakes, especially if you are learning a lot of things at once.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto bows his head and blushes - somehow, this made him feel much better than the usual approval Sasuke gives him after apologizing. This, that he can make mistakes, that it’s okay, as long as he still tries better. It doesn't make him feel like a failure everytime he fucks up something Sasuke already told him how to do. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for apologizing, Naruto,” Sasuke still says. “And don’t worry about it.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto gives him a quick, gentle smile, but doesn't say anything further. They have an agreement; Sasuke will teach him socially acceptable behaviour in private, and lately he didn't really mind even lecturing him in <em> public </em> . Naruto was fine with it, when Sasuke suggested so few weeks back. He knew Sasuke means well and doesn't want to hurt him, not really, so Naruto accepted his teaching in public, even thought he was sure he’s gonna look like an idiot when Sasuke of all people is going to comment on his behaviour and tell him the right way to do - he was aware there’s gonna be some level of humiliation, but he hoped at that time Sasuke would later, in private, tell him something like, <em> that’s okay, I still think aren’t stupid, I was just telling you how to behave properly, I wasn't aiming to hurt your feelings </em> . He wasn't even <em> hoping </em> for Sasuke to maintain this pattern of <em> 1. tell Naruto he was he wrong, 2. explain why, 3. thank him for apologizing and making his behaviour right  4. praise him when he gets it right next time </em> in private, thought it was only for when he did something remarkably right - he was aware Sasuke doesn't like speaking so much, yet lone be all touchy-feely and gentle with his words towards the dobe,  yet alone <em> in public. </em>He was still a bit lightheaded when Sasuke commented things like “you’ve done well, Naruto”, and “thank you for apologizing”, and “you got that right” or “you’ve learned this well” and most of all, “I'm proud of you”.</p><p> </p><p>To Naruto, this public acknowledgement and thanks and praising seemed to be crucial, Sasuke concluded recently, and he was more than willing to continue this, because it was obviously improving Naruto’s social skills the quickest and most effective way, but also for his own personal reasons and feelings (he still didn't understand well enough). It's just like, it seemed to disturb other people, when Sasuke (still a teenager) was lecturing a boy the same age about elemental things like this; yelling, interrupting people when talking, talking with his mouth full; and he found an indescribable joy in it especially when he’s done so in front of people who were responsible for Naruto’s lack of knowledge. Just like Iruka and other senseis’, but also people in the village who knew Naruto since he was a child. He was happy to guide Naruto to properly understand things, and feelings, and people and relationship. It brought him a certain sense of justice, to see adults getting uncomfortable as they realize Naruto doesn't know these things because <em> he was never treated like a child should have been </em> . He was denied care, and safety, and love, and growth every child should be guaranteed to get from adults, parents, teachers or guardians or just any other adults. And he especially enjoyed doing this in front of <em> Kakashi </em> , because, honestly, he blames him the most. His teacher <em> died </em>and left a child behind, and his top student was just so fucking selfish  he let said child suffer alone, feeling like it had done something wrong by just being born.  </p><p> </p><p>“Ehm,” Kakashi clears his throat after a while of awkward (Kakashi) /surprised (Sakura) /content (Naruto and Sasuke) silence. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stops eating, because he remembered Kakashi probably had something to say, but Sasuke’s lecture came in the way of it. He wants to speak with his mouth full again, but he shoots a look to Sasuke, chews the bite down and swallows before he says: “You needed something, sensei?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles into his rice, looks up and silently, but still clearly for the whole table to hear: “Well done, Naruto. You did really well at remembering how to behave yourself. I’m really proud of you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto blushes and Kakashi feels the need to just leave the table, because yeah, that stings. “I just… Sasuke brought something up recently, and I’ve been thinking about it, and. You… I owe you an apology.” </p><p> </p><p>“Apology?” Naruto frowns. “What for?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tilts his head to the side, watching the jounin warily. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. I am aware how the village treated you when you were younger - still does, I think. And I… I am sorry for not stepping in. I was…” Kakashi knows he can't tell the boy about his origin. About his parents. “I was gone most of your childhood and only came back when the Hokage called me. I should have been there to help you, be there with you. I’m sorry I wasn't.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto watches his sensei with caution, Sasuke with annoyance. Really, <em> Bakashi </em>. Really. You apologize to a child who’s not really got the entire concept of apologizing?! Sasuke senses Naruto’s uneasiness, senses his need to be told what is appropriate, and therefore intervenes. Naruto tries really hard not to look to Sasuke for help, he does - but fails miserably. </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke is inadequately <em> happy </em>he can show him his options, guide him, remind him, help him - but due to personal reasons he doesn't want to investigate into these feelings just now, yet.</p><p> </p><p>“This is an apology towards you, Naruto,” Sasuke reminds the blonde quietly. “We were talking about it. You have options, when someone apologizes to you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto goes stiff for a while, obviously thinking, and Kakashi stays there as he is, dumbfounded, because… does Naruto have issues with such human thing as an apology…?</p><p> </p><p>“I-I don't know what to say,” Naruto stutters, mumbles, and Sasuke can see he’s shivering. </p><p> </p><p>Anxiety attack…? </p><p> </p><p>There is silence around the table, Kakashi is growing more uncomfortable any second, Sakura has no idea what's going on, Naruto looks like he’s gonna cry and all Sasuke can think of is, <em> fix it, Sasuke, fix it </em>now. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s no reason to panic,” Sasuke’s quick to say, putting his rice down, facing Naruto and gripping his upper arm for reassurance. “Kakashi acknowledged you were treated wrong, and now that he realized it, he’s apologizing for it.” </p><p> </p><p>“But-but why?” Naruto asks, his eyes wide and scared, as if he’s done something wrong, like there’s some kind of hidden thread or conversation he doesn't follow, moral kodex he’s not aware of, social justice he doesn't understand. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you can ask him,” Sasuke suggests. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks up to his teacher for explanation and Kakashi feels like cornering a scared deer - Naruto doesn't say a word and Sasuke has that look in his eyes that tells Kakashi he’s happy the man suffers.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I just wanted you to know you didn't deserve the behaviour you got as a child,” Kakashi explains. “And I should have been there. I should… I should have helped you. Looked after you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks bewildered, hurt, like he’s not following. He gives up and turns to Sasuke for help. “I- I don't… what is the protocol here?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke literally enjoys the shocked look in Kakashi’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s no protocol here, Naruto, you did nothing wrong. Kakashi only says that he acknowledges you were treated poorly, accepts his part of being responsible for this problem, too, and for not helping you, even if he was in power to help you.” </p><p> </p><p>“How’s… how’s that… for why?” Naruto doesn't understand. </p><p> </p><p>“Remember how I told you I apologized for doing you wrong?” Sasuke aks, his tone reassuring and gentle, so well known Naruto calms down a bit. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p> </p><p>“I told you I apologize, and you told me you accepted my apology. This situation is somewhat the same.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s not,” Naruto disagrees. “You didn't neglect me. You never ignored me. There was just a layer of misunderstanding on both sides, but you never ignored me, never knowingly refused to help me.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke agrees; that's true. “Well, yes. I apologized, because I hurt you. So did Kakashi, from his point of view.” </p><p> </p><p>“Everyone ignored me, and hated me,” Naruto then says. “Most of them still do.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi looks dead inside at that point. He never realized, not fully. And Sasuke is really pleased by this very moment, because Kakashi finally sees the real Naruto, the hurt, under-cared for, unsure and un-guided child, that suffered their whole life from neglect. </p><p> </p><p>“And Kakashi just apologized for it,” Sasuke points out. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto falls silent, looking into Sasuke’s eyes. He seems to think and Sasuke knows to give him space. He needs time to get through his thoughts, to get to the point of what his opinion and stance is. </p><p> </p><p>“If someone who outranks me hurts me,” Naruto starts after a while, “do I have to formally accept the apology, and keep my opinion to myself?” </p><p> </p><p>“No, absolutely no,” Sasuke answers, his tone still reassuring, but he can't stop the bitter malevolence that shows exactly what he thinks of their sensei. “Even your superior has to respect your feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for explaining,” Naruto smiles politely at his friend, who lets go of his arm and smiles at him, then his face sets on serous, when he turns to face Kakashi. “I accept your apology, but I don't forgive you.”</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi is not surprised - he doesn't deserve forgiveness, anyway. “I understand.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why aren’t you…” Naruto doesn't know what he expected, but it wasn't this kind of acceptance. </p><p> </p><p>“I knew you wont forgive me, and I don't think you should, really,” Kakashi explains. “I know I did you wrong. I was wrong, and I hurt you, even thought I had the power to help you. I don't deserve your forgiveness.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto isn't happy about this outcome. He wants to make friends, he can't just push everyone away because they ignored him or hurt him. He wants to say this to Sasuke, who is silently watching their conversation, waiting for Naruto to ask his questions so he can help. But Naruto doesn't ask, he just shoots desperate look to Sasuke, after a few seconds of silence. </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi here is suggesting he keeps by your side, tries to work his way to you, so one day you might accept his wrongs, as well as his good,” Sasuke explains silently, seeing as Kakashi is not ready to say this. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto keeps his look buried to the table and Sasuke shoots a look to the jounin. There are things Naruto is yet to be told, and after that, he can make his decision about Kakashi. it’s just not Sasuke’s nor Kakashi’s place to tell the truth - but that doesn't mean Sasuke will leave it as it is. The Sandaime did a lot of things wrong, but Tsunade seems bearable. She also seems to have a soft spot for the blonde, so hopefully Sasuke will succeed. </p><p> </p><p>“I can't really decline, can I,” Naruto murmurs after a while. </p><p> </p><p>“No, you can't,” Sasuke agrees (but isn't happy about it.) “Not now when he’s your sensei and is trusted to help you, teach you, guide you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto snorts and Sasuke agrees out loud: “I know, He is yet to act on it.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi eyes his students and tries to catch a glimpse of Naruto, his opinion, his nindo, now; but all he sees is gratitude and happiness towards the Uchiha prodigy. </p><p> </p><p>“One more thing to this lesson, Naruto,” Sasuke catches his attention and Naruto immediately sits still, face serious, eyes focused. “Your personal feelings are important and noone can mess with them or use those against you; but you can't act on your feelings in professional life, either.” </p><p> </p><p>“Is what you do, too, right? You don't call Kakashi a sensei, but you let him teach you, and you listen to him on missions.”</p><p> </p><p>“ Yes. he is my superior after all - I trust him with my life, and I can count on him in missions. I know he’s one of the best shinobi’s of Leaf and there is a lot he can teach us. But I do not consider him a role model, or even a likeable person,” Sasuke explains. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi can feel the satisfaction behind those words, he can feel Sasuke's pride swoon as Naruto agrees with him, how lightly they speak, how quickly they found a rhythm to work together on Naruto’s behaviour. Sasuke is hesitant and thoughtful and Naruto is focused and tries really hard. Sasuke appreciates it and Naruto loves to make his self-proclaimed teacher proud. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi, contrary to his personal feelings, doesn't think it’s a bad thing he lost to Sasuke. He lost many battles at life, and Naruto (and Obito, too, for that matter) are battles he lost he hates himself the most for - the guilt is as heavy as it should be, he finds himself realizing- Since he tried to reprogram himself in ANBU (fuck feelings and all), he forgot not only about love and friendship, but also about self hate and guilt that should be always there, no matter what. He!s glad he got reminded - he needs to remember, he needs to be aware of his failures, because otherwise he might as well forget who he is and what he stands for. </p><p> </p><p>He’s glad, on the other hand, the tension between Sasuke and himself seems to be settled for now, and he himself knows what he stands for. </p><p> </p><p>“I know you probably don't care for my opinion at all,” Kakashi says, getting back to his rice and barbecue, “but I’m really glad the two of you found one another.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turns his head to the blonde who’s watching him with a bright smile, and (in spite of his dislike for the jounin) agrees; he’s glad for that, too. But back to the issue.</p><p> </p><p> “There are… crucial information you are missing, Naruto,-!” </p><p> </p><p>“What information? Tell me!” Naruto exclaims, yelling - the immediately remembers himself and adds, “I’m sorry, I didn't want to yell, I didn't want to be rude. I just… don't like it, when I’m…” </p><p> </p><p>“When people don't tell you things,” Sasuke understands. “That's okay, Naruto, actually, this was an appropriate moment when to yell, I think, because we did upset you, and this situation is about your personal life, not mission. So please, don't apologize for you did nothing wrong. You yelled for a good reason, but please, hear me out, let’s reason, okay?” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi wants to speak, wants to remind the boy he can't tell Naruto about his father, about his origins, but Sasuke seems to know what he’s doing. And it’s not like Kakashi can actually interfere in their relationship from now on, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“O-okay,” Naruto agrees, seemingly calmer, but there’s still fire in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Naruto, your behaviour about this situation is adult-like and reasonable. Before I tell you what is this about, please let me tell you you did really well and I’m proud of you.” </p><p> </p><p>There's a slight blush on Naruto's face, but he doesn't say anything for now, therefore Sasuke continues. </p><p> </p><p>“There are informations we can’t tell you right now.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why,” Naruto all but whines. </p><p> </p><p>“If it was up to me, I’d tell you years ago. Trust me, I do not agree with this, not telling you things.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto seems to think for a while, and then, with small voice, asks: “It’s… is it bad things?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s crucial things,” Sasuke hesitates, not sure himself. “But I believe it’s not… not a bad thing for you, personally.”</p><p> </p><p>“When I find out,” Naruto asks, voice a bit firmer, bu still frowning. “Am I gonna be mad?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sasuke answers honestly. “Surprised, but I think mostly you’ll… be relieved.” </p><p> </p><p>“Relieved,” Naruto repeats, confused. “I-!” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto, I can't tell you more. I can't. Please believe me when I say it hurts me to my core, but I’m forbidden to tell you, just as Kakashi is, just as everyone who knows is. Believe me I’ll do everything I possibly can to help with this situation. But right now, I need you to drop it.” </p><p> </p><p>“How can I-!” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupts him. “Please. <em> Please </em>, if you as much as trust me - please drop this now.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto takes a deep breath, ready to argue more, but when he sees the desperate expresion Sasuke faces him with, he breathes right out. There's a silence where noone moves and noone speaks. Kakashi watches them, tries to see where all this came from, but doesn't include himself in the conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“I trust you with everything I’ve got,” Naruto tells him, painfully honest. “And I believe you. And…” he blushes, but keeps his mouth shut and pauses for a while, his blush a bit more prominent. “Okay, I’ll… I won’t ask about  this, till I’m told. But-” </p><p> </p><p>“Don't worry. When there’s going to be a decision about this, I’ll be the one telling you, I promise,” Sasuke assures him, ready to accept this burden. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Naruto agrees, silent and grateful, with a small timid smile Sasuke was quick to fall for. “Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke holds his fist and Naruto openly smiles at that, gently bumping into it with his own. </p><p> </p><p>“Last word,” Naruto reminds him and Sasuke chuckles at that, again. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for handling this like an adult,” Sasuke says, serious. “This is a serious, hurtful thing, and you accepted it, listened to reason and handled it better than I would in your shoes. I’m really proud of you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura is trying to get a hold of this situation and tries to reason - this relationship between the two of them changed rapidly since Wave, since the last mission, since yesterday, and she's not sure what's going on, but there's definitely something from Uchiha's side, she can feel how the two of them bonded. Sakura does take herself as observant, and even thought she doesn't know exactly what happened, she's sure there's something going on. Something deeper than just friendship. Naruto's behaviour isn't one he would give to anyone else, and she's never heard Sasuke speak like this, ever. The tone, the words, the expresion, the need to help his comrade, to praise him and thank him, the guidance there is... she's never withessed the raven haired kid behave like this. To noone, noone at all, but the blonde.</p><p> </p><p>...Which, let's face it, explains a lot, if she's honest. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi, on the other hand, sees exactly what he felt so many years ago, that night, that day, during a time he wished he remembered loud and clear as he does remember all the moments after. His sharingan is a gift as well as damnation, because all the feelings of emptiness he ditched for the solemn purpose of keeping the village safe he nearly forgot how was the night before, the day after, the weeks prior to what changed his life forever. He watches Naruto beam at Sasuke's words and sees him let the black haired prodigy have his last word. He can sense the why and what, and even thought they are not in war right now, this world of shinobi is not designed for love. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke might agree with him on that, but isn't ready to give up when he didn't even properly try, yet.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Naruto is silent and distant all evening. He doesn't eat that much after the conversation they had and, the thing is, Sasuke is worried. He understands there are issues the blonde needs to sort himself out, needs time to think about, but Sasuke is not comfortable with Naruto being like this.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Sasuke breaks the silence in their shared room.</p><p>It takes several seconds, before Naruto answers a silent, gentle “I’m fine.”</p><p>“You thinking about... the thing?”</p><p>“About everything, really?” Naruto offers. “But I don't want to bother you with it, so…”</p><p>“You don't-!” Sasuke wants to bark at him, bicker and maybe yell at him, but stops himself. “You don't bother me, Naruto.”</p><p>“I do. You agreed on sometimes helping me privatey, and I accidentally made it into a 24/7 job,” he chuckles as if it was a joke, but Sasuke can read between lines.</p><p>“If you were bothering me, I’d just leave the room. I’m still here, so that means I wanna stay in your company.”</p><p>“It’s...it’s not that, it’s not about my company,” Naruto shakes his head, laying down to stare at the ceiling. “It’s… my problems, you know. I have a feeling like I’m just…”</p><p>Sasuke sighs, gets up from his bed and sits down next to laying Naruto on his bed. “You are not. Not from my point of view. I told you I’ll help, and I will.”</p><p>Naruto doesn't say anything, doesn't even meet his eyes. “Why? Is It because you… you know. Feel sorry for me?”</p><p>Sasuke actually feels offended. “Pity,” he scoffs. “You think I’m here because of pity.”</p><p>“I don't know,” Naruto shrugs. “You said you want to help because you don't want to be associated with an idiot.”</p><p>“Naruto-!”</p><p>“But… what you did today, you helped me… you helped me to figure out… things, in front of Kakashi and Sakura and you… you just. I felt like you… you were on my side, because of your own personal grudge you have towards Kakashi.”</p><p>Kakashi, Sasuke notes. No Kakashi-sensei, anymore.</p><p>“I’m helping you because I am your friend. And because down there, you felt vulnerable and I hated it.”</p><p>He at least has got enough decency to blush at his own words.</p><p>Naruto does, too, and falls silent again.</p><p>“I’m not doing this out of pity,” Sasuke holds Naruto’s shin and squeezes it, as to add some authority to his statement. “I’m helping you, because I think everyone fucked up, when it comes to you. Noone helped you when you were growing up and I hate all the adults responsible for that. I chose to be your friend because I think you are smart and we have a lot in common. I’m comfortable with sharing personal space with you, because it brings you comfort.”</p><p>“Yeah, exactly,” Naruto suddenly sits up, their faces just inches away.</p><p>Sasuke lurches back in surprise, but keeps his eyes on Naruto - he seems pissed somehow, uneasy abit, too.</p><p>“You just - you do things for my sake, for me, for… you help me to feel better, you guide me for noone can manipulate me, you explain things so I have perspective, understanding. You give me hugs, because it comforts me.”</p><p>Sasuke keeps their eyes locked, and after a while of heavy silence where they both try to make sense to this, Sasuke has to admit, he’s at loss here. “I don't follow.”</p><p>Naruto lets out a frustrated sigh.</p><p>“You keep saying we are friends, that I am your friend, too, that you chose me. But I don't… see, this relationship looks pretty one sided to me,” Naruto explains and yeah, Sasuke is a bt dumbfounded here.</p><p>The things is that, yes, of course. If things were from different perspective, Sasuke would be mad, too.</p><p>“It's just, friendship should be both sided, right?” Naruto asks. “It’s… I should make you comfortable as much as you… I… Sasuke, I was never this happy in my life. You… you are helping me so much and I… I just…” he breaks their gaze, averting his eyes and ruffling his own hair in a gesture of frustration Sasuke came to recognize as desperate, over the weeks he’s spending with the Uzumaki heir, he sighs. “I just feel like there’s nothing I can give you in this friendship.”</p><p>“You give me too much, I think,” Sasuke disagrees in a whisper, like it’s a secret, red as the tomatoes he loves, ashamed and silent, but determined, with nothing but honesty in his eyes and tone. “You… you are reminding me to stay human, you know.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You think I’m helping you to sort your emotion and behaviour, but I’m helping myself by it, too. I’m keeping you company, because without you, i’m just as lonely. And I’m hugging you, because I am desperate to be touched just like you are. I’m… I’m not doing any of this out of pity, or some messiah’ complex, or, I don't know, convenience, but because I…”</p><p>Aaaand there it is.</p><p>Sasuke’s not ready to admit this to himself yet, yet alone to Naruto. But yeah, he finally found the real reason this all is happening. And, it’s not really surprising, not at all. There had been traces of evidence you don't need no Sherlock for, and of course it all ties to feelings and pinning and being an idiot, but it’s not something Naruto needs to hear, now. So instead of all the “I have a feeling at the back of my mind, where, I think, we belong together, like we are destined to each other, two heirs of the Leaf strongest, the prodigies” he says much simpler,</p><p>“Because you are my one and only.”</p><p>Naruto’s facade of frustration misunderstanding falls like house of cards, leaving the boy looking innocent, with slight blush above his cheekbones Sasuke wants nothing but kiss.</p><p>“You could have anyone as your friend,” he whispers, looking down to his lap.</p><p>“Hn,” Sasuke agrees, letting his shin go. “I could. And I, of all people, chose you.”</p><p>Naruto giggles and it’s the sweetest thing Sasuke’s ever heard.</p><p>“Sasuke?”</p><p>“Hn?”</p><p>Naruto’s blush deepens and his eyes seem to sparkle as he smiles, letting his dimples show: “Hug me?”</p><p>And Sasuke can do nothing but chuckle and open his arms, enveloping his friend as close as possible. He felt Naruto’s smile at the nape of his neck and his fingers dipping into his back right under his shoulder blades. He rests his cheek against Naruto’s and let’s his left arm wander down his back while his right one is holding the back of Naruto’s neck.</p><p>“You were right, earlier,” Naruto whispers after a while, another secret with a tell tale. “It does feel intimate.”</p><p>“The neck?” Sasuke purrs, content.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Should I not do it?”</p><p>Naruto is silent for a while and Sasuke realizes the blonde actually might feel uncomfortable, so he slowly withdraws his hand from his neck, settling it on his shoulder, upper arm, back to shoulder again, rubbing small circles with his thumb there.</p><p>“I, uh,” Naruto stirs, obviously uneasy. “I’m trying to come up with a way that wouldn't sound needy, inappropriate or straight out rude.”</p><p>Sasuke schuckles under his breath and ensures the blonde: “Now that I know you are at loss here, probably a bit embarrassed, I won't use it against you even if it does sound rude. Go on, -” and this time, it takes everything Sasuke’s got to not call him “love” at that point, - “say it.”</p><p>Naruto takes few more seconds, weighing his words again in his head. “The… are you, uhn,” few more seconds. “It feels a bit too good. This, you, holding me.”</p><p>Sasuke feels this, too - this hug is so much more intimate with Naruto than it would be with anyone else, he can't find himself offended at all. “That's hardly needy or inappropriate at all.”</p><p>“In that case I wasn't clear enough,” Naruto mumbles under his breath. “It feels… uh. Really good. Makes me… feel things.”</p><p>Sasuke cock his eyebrow, but doesn't react otherwise. “You mind?”</p><p>“You might.”</p><p>Sasuke shrugs and his hand finds his way back to Naruto's neck - startling Naruto with the gesture - he jerks a bit in his arms, shivers, and Sasuke sees the goosebumps spilling from his neck to his shoulders, arms, and probably back, too.</p><p>“I don't,” Sasuke says quietly and lets his fingers play with the hair at the back of Naruto's neck, turning his head closer to his blond, nosing at his skin right under his ear where his hair starts to grow - and it takes all his willpower not to kiss him there.</p><p>“I’m not sure you follow,” Naruto insists, his voice heavier, deeper.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure I do follow,” Sasuke murmurs, not even as embarrassed as he expected to be. “And… don't worry about it. I… I’m not holding it against you.”</p><p>“I-” Naruto, for some reason, seems to be frustrated by this answer, because all he does is to hold him closer, harder, his embrace seems desperate now, and painfully vulnerable. “I feel like I never wanna let go. Like noone can make me feel as safe and comfortable and… I don't know, grounded, like you do.”</p><p>And yeah, Sasuke definitely feels the vulnerability there and can't help but swoon at it. He feels warmth in the deep of his stomach and at his cheeks and in his heart, and he wants nothing but to feel his friend closer, further, better, deeper. The feeling catches him out of guard and it’s so strong he doesn't know how to deal with it - doesn't know the words to express himself, and isn't ready to tell them, yet, either - and he doesn't know how he’d explain this to Naruto; he just got the concept of friendship, he’s not ready to accept the fact their friendship actually isn't a friendship but something that runs so much deeper.</p><p>“I don't have to hide anything,” Sasuke then says. “When we’re like this. I just… I feel… I’m not sure you’d understand.”</p><p>Naruto is silent for a while and Sasuke realizes - he’s making an idiot out of him again, just because Naruto doesn't know how to do certain things and how to behave in certain situations doesn't mean he doesn't understand feelings, or emotions. How rude this was from Sasuke to tell him, hey, I’m a special snowflake who feels feelings, you can't possibly understand me, or some other bullshit, and Sasuke in that moment despises himself more than Kakashi, and there is a serious grudge he has against this man, but Naruto says: “I probably can't. But it would still mean the world to me, if you told me.”</p><p>And if Sasuke had ever any doubt about Naruto being way more than people think of him, it was gone. This boy is a literal sunshine, a walking empathy, smart and intelligent as they come (inheriting both from his parents, Sasuke’s sure), he was just horribly, unforgivably neglected.</p><p>“I… you know a lot had happened. Not only… that night, but also before that. I don't… really remember much, but it’s… the… hatred. It’s like a testament - stays there, solid, unchanged.”</p><p>There is silence after that and Naruto can't bring himself to speak again. He nuzzles Sasuke’s neck, hides in him, breathes him, enjoys his company and hopes he can stay. But the silence is long and getting heavy and Naruto wished he wasn't as stupid as he is. “I wish I knew what to say.”</p><p>“There's,” Sasuke swallows the hard edges he feels in his throat, and repeats himself. “There are… times when… someone tells you something heavy and… something they didn't understand themselves, yet. And there’s no appropriate reaction to this, not in words. It’s… there’s not much you can do in these situations. You can change the subject and hope the person follows and feels better. You can console the person. You can stay silent to see if they are willing to talk further or give them time to compose themselves and change the subject on their own. You can offer a shoulder to cry or mourn on. You can listen, just be there for them - all of this creates bonds based on trust-”</p><p>“Like we have?” Naruto interrupts him, excited, but then remembers himself and adds a silent: “I’m sorry. Interrupting someone while they are speaking is considered rude.”</p><p>“It is,” Sasuke agrees, small smile on his lips. “Thank you for remembering and apologizing. You’ve done a good job about it. Also, you didn't yell, even when you were excited. That was an amazing improvement, thank you for this as well.”</p><p>Naruto beams and for a second hides his face to the nape of Sasuke’s neck so deep Sasuke feels his smiling lips on his skin and Sasuke feels like the hatred he carries isn't as heavy. Not now, not with Naruto in his arms, with his smile hidden under his jaw, with his fingers dipping into his shoulder blades, not with his hair tickling his nose, with his small, lean and a bit underweight body pressed against his own. Sasuke feels light as a cloud, responsible, full of life, a future that doesn't only hold one purpose. He holds Naruto a bit closer, maybe too much, but Naruto silently giggles and tightens his grip on Sasuke, too.</p><p>“I feel like I am free of the hatred my clan put on me when I’m with you,” Sasuke whispers after a while. “That there’s a future for me, too. That I am human, myself, and it’s not a sin to want things. Easy things, simple things - this, for example. To have a friend, have physical touch, to… to keep bonds and relationships and… ah, I’m so gay, seriously.”</p><p>He mumbles the last part to himself more than to Naruto, and maybe he shouldn't have, because of course Naruto wants to know everything, especially socially inadequate things he can't find out about himself or get from common knowledge books (or Iruka, for that matter). “What is that?”</p><p>“Hn?” Sasuke decides to play as dumb as Naruto would believe him.</p><p>“The… the word. Gay.”</p><p>“You’ve never heard it before?” Sasuke asks, surprised. He himself heard mostly Kiba (and sometimes Ino, too) call things, emotions and people “gay” for no reason. He understood (from the tone of it) that meant something ridiculous, something embarrassing and inhuman, but didn't hear it in a context he’d understand.</p><p>Naruto lets go of their embrace and Sasuke feels empty immediately. “I had, but…”</p><p>Sasuke can't feel more embarrassed if he tried. “Do you… know what sexuality is?”</p><p>“Something about guys liking girls…?” Naruto tries, uncertain.</p><p>“Well, yes, as well. Basically, sexuality is…” Sasuke has to think of an easy way to explain this, because Naruto is still socially awkward and there might be situations where this entire thing could go wrong - not on him, you see, Sasuke accepted the fact Naruto took over his life and he has the right to ruin it and humiliate him all he wants, because Naruto doesn't mean to humiliate anyone, he never means wrong - because the easier he explains it, the better is Naruto going to understand it. “Sexuality means what are you looking for in yourself and other people when it comes to sex.”</p><p>Naruto is silent, expectant, therefore Sasuke is forced to continue.</p><p>“There… well, sexuality is on a scale, really. Most importantly it’s fluid, and can change during life. There are… some standard points to that scale, tho. The basics are… heterosexuals. Means girls want boys and the other way around. Then there are homosexuals, people who are attracted to the same gender. Boys who like boys are called gays, and girls who like girls are commonly called lesbians. If you are not interested in anyone sexually, you are asexual. That’s… for the basics.”</p><p>Sasuke knows it’s not as easy as he said, but he needs Naruto to understand the basics.</p><p>“So you… like boys,” Naruto concludes after few embarrassing seconds.</p><p>Sasuke has got enough decency to look him in the eye when he replies a soft, “Yes.”</p><p>Then there is silence again, and Sasuke indeed could find a better way to come out to his best friends. When the silence and Naruto’s thinking face stretch for too long, Sasuke clears his throat and asks: “And you?”</p><p>“I… don't know. I’m… I’m not… I like both,” he frowns and looks up, completely devastated, like there is yet again something wrong with him, like there is yet again another thing he doesn't belong in, can't find his place, and Sasuke sees his crumbling face like he wants to cry and Sasuke panics, because no, dear, please don't cry, you do belong!, I’m just an asshole and didn't explain further, because I underestimated you again!</p><p>“I- yes, yes, Naruto, there is a scale and you can like both! It’s called bisexuality, commonly.”</p><p>“Oh,” Naruto blinks and calms down a bit. “Bisexual. Ah, makes sense. Is… uh, I’m… is it… okay? To be one?”</p><p>Sasuke has to take a second to understand what does he mean, and then rushes: “Yes, of course it is.”</p><p>“I… makes sense, I mean. You, not really liking girls,” Naruto says, quiet and observant. “I mean, I didn't know there are words for this.”</p><p>Sasuke nods, because it’s surprising to him, too. Why there have to be words defining what gender the person you love or are attracted to is? How is that even.. matter? “There are words for useless things all the same.”</p><p>“Yeah. I guess,” Naruto lowers his head and seems to be thinking again, before he says, silent. “I’ve heard Kiba yell the word “gay” at some kid one day. I didn't know what it meant by then.”</p><p>“When heterosexual people use it, it’s usually slur,” Sasuke supplies.</p><p>“Yeah. It sounded like a slur to me, then,” it’s scary, when Naruto is like this. Silent, thinking, making things into perspective. Strange, but endearing, Sasuke concludes. He loves it, how he can watch Naruto growing in social skills and acceptable behaviour, how well he’s doing under the right guidance. “Has anyone… used it as a slur on you?”</p><p>“Well, not exactly this one,” Sasuke admits. “It’s… there are other words similar to gay. Gay, you see, is neutral, just like homosexual or maybe… queer, as well, nowadays. But there are… you can be called way worse things that mean the same and they have only one purpose: to humiliate you for whom you love.”</p><p>“Why would anyone do that?” the sheer horror is honest in his eyes.</p><p>“You out of all people should know that people are mean for much less than that,” Sasuke tells him and Naruto averts his eyes, because yeah - Sasuke’s right.</p><p>Sasuke wants to get up and leave Naruto to his thoughts - he's got a lot to go through in his mind - but immediately, there's a hand on his shoulder to keep him down where he sits.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>Naruto doesn't say anything, but keeps his hand where it is.</p><p>“What?” Sasuke insists, his tone still gentle, even thought he is getting irritated. “You want to try and punch me, too?”</p><p>Naruto frowns: “Did anyone try to?”</p><p>Sasuke shakes his head, but Naruto can tell he’s lying.</p><p>“Who,” Naruto asks, his voice firm and lower than usual, and Sasuke falters, because he’s seen Naruto angry and mad when Sasuke gets hurt, but this is… different; Naruto is protective, possessive, even. Demanding to know who hurt Sasuke so he can bring justice onto said actions to make sure Sasuke is never hurt like this, ever. And Sasuke comes back to the feeling he keeps pushing back at the pit of his stomach, at the back of his mind - there are feelings he has for Naruto, feelings he’s not ready to adress or to deal with, but he accepts it’s there and maybe, it is what it is.</p><p>“I don't know, I was… young, my… he was still… here, back then,” Sasuke shrugs but Naruto can tell this isn't something you just shrug off. “I was… I didn't know what it meant, back then. And after they… I just had to become stronger, better. So I did. And noone tried, since.”</p><p>That’s the reason, Naruto thinks to himself, you never let anyone close. “You kept this a secret. You, being gay. Because someone tried to hurt you over it. And now… you are telling me.”</p><p>“I… I didn't mean to, really, it just,” Sasuke can't look him in the eye. “it just kind of slipped, so I went ´fuck it´ and told you. Because I know… I know I can trust you.”</p><p>“Yeah, you can,” Naruto agrees, his tone gentle. “I’m not… I’m not really one to treat you differently. I mean,” he laughs, light and happy, “I like boys, too.”</p><p>“You just didn't know this is an issue,” Sasuke nods. “You didn't know sexuality matters in society, at all.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Naruto agrees. “I probably don't know a lot of things like this. I’m so happy you are here with me, that you trust me. And I really like how you… how you treat me. When I do something good, you tell me and praise me. And when I do something wrong, you don't get mad, you just explain it to me. Thank you, by the way. For… for doing this. For being here with me. And… you know. Dealing with it all.”</p><p>Sasuke smiles, timid and shy, averting his eyes because he still isn't sure he can (he’s not allowed feelings, he’s an avenger and there is only one path for him), but it’s Naruto, and he really, realy, really likes Naruto, and likes being with him, likes hugging him and teaching him and spending time with him and helping him, but also… also this. When Naruto… says something nice to him, too. Is nice to him. Teaches him things, too.</p><p>“I’m glad I can be here with you. That you trust me, and I can trust you.”</p><p>Naruto smiles and opens his arms and Sasuke is so happy he can just bury himself in, hide his face in teh crook of Naruto’s neck and shoulder, to relieve the stress by silence and trust and touches and Naruto.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here,” Naruto whispers like a secret. “And now I know you’re glad you’re here, too.”</p><p>And yeah, Sasuke can live with that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please ignore me developing a kink on Naruto being _praised_ by Sasuke thanks</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. In public</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Naruto wants to hold hands and Sasuke really doesnt like the "private" rule.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke finds surprising comfort in himself being out to Naruto. He doesn't even know why, it’s just the thought that whatever happens, Naruto won't judge him. There is also this fleeting thought that the blond likes boys, too, so when Sasuke is ready, there is a chance for Naruto to like him back - but that is seeing far too forward. </p><p> </p><p>Right now, he’s got other things to focus on. </p><p> </p><p>Like the feeling he’s being watched, or, well, <em> they </em>are being watched. This is their fourth mission Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi are all aware they are being stalked from afar, and while there is still an attack to be performed, it doesn't really calm any of them. </p><p> </p><p>“I don't like this,” Naruto murmurs, tailing the carriage they are protecting now. </p><p> </p><p>“Hn,” Sasuke agrees, keeping his friend company. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you see them or sense them?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sasuke admits. “Neither had Kakashi.” </p><p> </p><p>Hm. He should probably stay allerted, just to be sure. And he also should stay close to the group, he doesn't know what they want. And he also should refrain of showing off any of his jutsus to be sure the stalkers get surprised. </p><p> </p><p>“What do I do when they attack?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>Even after these few weeks, it's surprising to see Naruto ready to let Sasuke take the role of a leader, trust his judgement and follow his instructions. It’s the fourth mission since Naruto accepted Sasuke as the dominant one in this relationship, and Sasuke still feels tingles in his stomach, when Naruto let him have the last word, does as Sasuke says, or, like this, asks him for instructions. </p><p> </p><p>“Keep back,” Sasuke tells him. “I know how you approach standard attacks, and you are doing very well during those, keeping the attacked distracted till I or Kakashi give instructions, but this time, please, keep back.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Naruto asks, but isn't persistent or rude or insulted about it. It’s a simple question and Sasuke tries to push it, just to see how would Naruto react. </p><p> </p><p>“I can't tell you for now.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto wants to argue, Sasuke can see that in his face, but after a second, he nods and agrees: “Okay. Copy that.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can't stop the pride in his chest as he sees Naruto learned really well to listen to commands when he trusts his leader. The Uchiha heir also realizes with mischievous <em> joy </em>that Naruto would never accept this order when anyone else would tell him, be it Kakashi or the Hokage. Naruto only listens to him and Sasuke swoons at this information, feeling all self-satisfied and attracted to this side of the Uzumaki, he can't help but touch his upper arm and tell him: “Thank you for accepting this order. I know it’s not easy for you to give in like this.” </p><p> </p><p>“It is, tho,” Naruto shrugs. “It is  when it’s you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had no idea the tingling can get even more prominent in his stomach, feeling all kinds of warm and a bit woozy, overwhelmed at the light tone Naruto talks about listening to Sasuke’s commands, like it’s his nature, like it’s exactly the way it should be and never different. “You don't mind me giving you orders to stay back and not telling you why?” </p><p> </p><p>“You have your reasons,” Naruto tells him, serious. “If you believe it’s the best way to approach this, it is, and I’ll listen to you. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to follow if you get hurt, tho. I might… I might follow my instincts, then.” </p><p> </p><p>“If I get hurt, please do follow your instincts,” Sasuke tells him. “So far, they never failed you and we always made it in the end.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Naruto smiles. “We did.” </p><p> </p><p>Their conversation would go on, if they were not interrupted by Sakura. “What is it you are talking about?” </p><p> </p><p>“Not much, just the mission,” Naruto shrugs. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke cocks his eyebrows - she’d usually address him, not them both. </p><p> </p><p>“A bit boring for you, isn’t it?” she smiles politely and Sasuke can feel it at the pit of his stomach - <em> jealousy </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He averts his eyes, pretending to be unaffected by her presence, but he <em> isn't </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s what the C-ranks are about, aren't they. To make sure you can focus for a long period of time,” Naruto murmurs and Sasuke has to yet again wonder at this boy’s intelligence, because yeah, that never occurred to him, but he’s right. All the C-ranks are like a training to young teams to hold their attention, don't give into the thought that everything is easy and safe, but stay guarded. He’s right, and Sasuke should tell him that.</p><p> </p><p>“That was a really intelligent observation, Naruto. Well done.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura can't help but feel a bit embarrassed. It’s like Sasuke wants them all to feel bad about treating Naruto wrong - he seems to enjoy it, and she might not be the worst to Naruto, but she admits her fair share of guilt. </p><p> </p><p>“It was,” Sakura agrees, therefore. “Did you conclude this yourself?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods, not sure what to expect. Sakura is never this nice to him, not really. But truth be told, things are changing a bit. They aren't twelve years old genins anymore, after all. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto, I know…” Sakura tries, making sure Sasuke can  hear as well. “I know I treated you wrong in the past. And I’m sorry I was so unfriendly.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s… okay, I guess, it’s not... uh,” Naruto scratches the back of his neck and looks to his left - <em> Sasuke, help, please </em>? </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke knows he’s needed. He always knows with Naruto. “Do you need help?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, please?” the blond’s tone is small, doubtful - he’s still not really sure if it’s okay to ask Sasuke’s help in public. Naruto know Sasuke told him it is okay to ask him for directions, but Naruto also knows Sasuke isn't one to speak much, reveal much of himself to other people. He also is uncomfortable talking to Naruto in public, because he’s still considered an idiot around the village. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you confused about?” Sasuke asks, his tone and eyes friendly. He’s never been this friendly to anyone. Not even when they were kids and his family was still alive. Sasuke was never friendly to anyone, never looked at anyone like he looks at Naruto.  </p><p> </p><p>Naruto isn't really sure and doesn't want to be rude to Sakura (or Sasuke, for that matter, still not entirely sure if it’s okay to ask his help this often), so he stalls, averting his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, I know you are at loss here, so c’mon, be as blunt as you want, you won't be rude. It’s not your fault,” Sasuke reassures him, voice low and secure. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure…” Naruto pauses, uncertain, but he looks into his friends eyes and grows more steady in his voice, because he can feel Sasuke being genuine, friendly, and trying to be helpful. He feels better about this instantly. “I mean. I probably was rude to Sakura before? You know, yelling about dates and stuff?” </p><p> </p><p>“You have a crush on Sakura, that’s hardly rude,” Sasuke tells him and he can't help but feel a bit self satisfied at the fact he can diss Sakura’s behaviour towards his favourite blond. Because yeah, actually, she was rude as fuck to <em> him </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“A crush…?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… hm, it’s when you are obviously attracted to a person. Not being friends, not being in love, but really feeling, usually one sided, attraction towards a person.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto seemed to think and Sasuke gives him time. Sakura looks their oldest member in the eye, but keeps silent. Sasuke shots her a short look and Sakura understands this is something between them and she’s not allowed to join the conversation. After a moment, Naruto offers an uncertain: “As of… sexual attraction?” </p><p> </p><p>“Not necessarily,” Sasuke answers, his tone light but serious. “It can be just that you like the person, gravitate towards them. You like… spending time with them.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are my crush, then,” Naruto concludes happily. “Right?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke actually stutters without meaning to and Sakura can't help but finally understands: Sasuke’s in love with Naruto. Like, crush be damned, he’s fully, high over heels in love with him, and probably is just coming to terms with it himself. And Sakura smiles at that, because yeah, she saw that coming, deep inside. </p><p> </p><p>“I-I think it’s more of… the… ehm, the actual… physical attraction, too,” Sasuke tries, his cheeks slightly pink. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you said not necessarily,” Naruto argues. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, Sakura cocks her eyebrow. Sasuke might be aware of the fact he’s deep in love, but Naruto… isn’t, really. </p><p> </p><p>“I meant, more like… not only,” Sasuke is deeply flushed by now and the worst part of this is, Naruto is as oblivious as anyone would expect of him to be. He is just an innocent baby after all, Sakura thinks. </p><p> </p><p>“Like Sasuke said, you want to be close to them, know more about them, spend time with them - just the two of you,” Sakura joins in. “A crush is, when you look at a person and feel slightly embarrassed, because you want them to acknowledge you. And when they do, it’s like the world is spinning around you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like Sasuke is, now,” Naruto concludes, making Sasuke choke on thin air. </p><p>
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</p><p>“You are making an absolute mess in it, love,” Sakura decides to save Sasuke the embarrassment, but also gives him time to coax Naruto into the “in love” thing he has going on, because honestly, it’s the least she could do, after all. Sasuke sees what she’s doing, but is too embarrassed to send her a “thank you” look. She doesn't seem to mind. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura smiles at Naruto, and it’s a nice smile, so Naruto smiles back. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke seems to be choking, so Naruto reaches for water bottle and Sasuke takes it as if he were dying. (He might as well, by the sounds of it.) Sakura takes Sasuke’s silence as an encouragement, and she goes on with her explanation. </p><p> </p><p>“Having a crush is usually just feeling hot all over whenever the person looks at you, when you want to kiss them, date them,” Sakura supplies. </p><p> </p><p>“Like you like Sasuke, then,” Naruto offers, uncertain. </p><p> </p><p>“Like I used to, yes,” Sakura corrects him. “But yes, that's exactly what it was. A crush.” </p><p> </p><p>“So like… in love,” Naruto tries again. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm, well, you can tell when you are in love when you wanna spend the rest of your life with the person.” </p><p> </p><p>“And with crush… you don't?” Naruto frowns. Sakura isn't really good at explaining. </p><p> </p><p>“Its,” Sasuke clears his throat, handing the water back to Naruto. “Being in love is different, more mature. You see planning a future with the person, seeing it as it is, planning a family with them and counting on it’s not gonna be easy, but you’ll figure it out together. Being in love I think needs to be both sided. Crush usually isn't.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, I get it!” Naruto beams. “So a crush is what Sakura had on you. And in love…” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke averts his gaze and Sakura is actually curious at what the oblivious boy gonna say, because it’s so painfully obvious how the two of them are falling in love (Naruto doesn't realize it, yet) you can see it, you can literally physically <em> see </em> the love forming there and Sakura has to admit, this <em> is </em> beautiful. Sasuke cursorily glances into the green eyes and immediately jerks his head away. <em> She knows. She fucking </em> knows <em> .  </em></p><p> </p><p>“In love… I think you can say Asuma and Kurenai-sensei. Those… those are in love,” Sakura supplies and Sasuke is, for the first time in his life, is happy she’s here. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles and nods: “Yeah… yeah, they are. I mean, they still think noone knows, right? But they are really obvious.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sakura wants to say one important thing, but she doesn't, because honestly, this isn't her place to. And after all, she owes Naruto (and Sasuke) this much. </p><p> </p><p>“Ano, about… hm, about Sakura,” Naruto changes the subject back to the issue they started with. “I… well, I don't have a crush on her, now that you explained.” </p><p> </p><p>“Don't you…?” Sasuke asks and Sakura seems a bit offended, because, yes he had, <em> duh </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks serious and Sasuke knows this is the time he puts things into perspective, applying what he feels to what has he learned and acting on it, trying to make socially acceptable sense to it. “I… no. I don't feel… eh, I’m… I have a feeling when I say it out loud, I’ll be really rude.” </p><p> </p><p>“You won't,” Sasuke reassures him. “First, when you showed interest and asked Sakura ona  date, she punched you. That was rude, not you making sense to your feelings in matter of words. And second, truth is never rude, Naruto, only the way you decide to put it. Words and tone mean a lot in conversation, remember that?” </p><p> </p><p>Yes, Naruto does - it was one of the first lectures Sasuke had with him. Tone, and words. You can't always be polite, but when you want to be, you need to know how. Also there are times you need to be rude, need to say bad things the right way when you want them to work for your case - like against an enemy. It was a fun lesson, because it was the first time Sasuke purposely cursed in front of him with rude words not directed to him, but to potential enemy. He had fun for the first time in his life, and for the first time he had a feeling he had a friend. He treasures the memory so much he himself doesn't want to think about it too much, because this is something akin a hundred years old porcelain in your granny’s cabinet; you use it only during special occasions. </p><p> </p><p>“I… well, I don't feel any kind of attraction towards Sakura. I don't get blushy and I don't… I don't wish to get closer to her or any of those things you explained,” Naruto says, voice slow and silent. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura has to bite her tongue - but she knows (from the way Naruto speaks like she's not there) she can't say anything. Not now. </p><p> </p><p>“Why did you keep on asking her for a date, if you don't want to date her, then?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s voice is so gentle with him, Sakura realizes. He’s so attentive, making sure Naruto doesn't feel like he's the idiot here for not knowing these things already, he makes sure to sound and appear genuine. He helps him, guides him, tries to make right where adults have done wrong. And she can see it now, too - he's really good with the blond. He can see and sense when Naruto isn't sure and needs help, he gives him space, but comes in rushing whenever the Namikaze child needs him. This isn't just a crush, no by all means. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't… I didn't know you need to feel like this to go on a date,” Naruto says, voice low and muffled, like he’s really embarrassed. </p><p> </p><p>“Then why did you…?” Sasuke asks, as perplexed as Sakura feels. </p><p> </p><p>She had no idea. She had no clue the adults have done such a number on her teammate - and she can feel it, now. The urgent need Sasuke has to fix it, to make it better. Why he hates Kakashi for not helping sooner, when he saw the state Naruto is in. </p><p> </p><p>“I just,” Naruto shrugs, then murmurs something neither of his companions can understand, before adding, “I just wanted to hold hands.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can feel the cold, unresolving <em> anger </em> poisoning his body. He wants all the responsible adults facing the consequences, because what the <em> fuck </em> has this child ever done to be so clueless and desperate and touchstarved to even come to such twisted way of emotional state?! How could they let this happen?! Who ever thought that the child of Yondaime, the child without parents, the <em> child </em> , would be fine on its own, ignored, isolated, hated, forgotten?! Whom does Sasuke have to <em> kill </em>to feel better?!? The Sandaime’s only luck is he’s already dead. </p><p> </p><p>“Who,” Sasuke can feel his neck tightening - he doesn't remember many things that made him cry after that night, but this, finding out how the adults tortured an innocent child, is beyond  him. “Who told you this is how it works?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I don't… know, I just. We were, I don't know, nine, ten? And Kiba was talking about getting a girlfriend, that they were in the garden and they were holding hands? And I was… you know, I wanted… I wanted to hold hands with someone, too, and Sakura wasn't a part of any clan, because big clan members hated me the most, so I naturally avoided them, so I figured I’d try to… you know, but,” and Naruto actually chuckles at it, “when I finally found the guts to ask her for a date, she punched me in the face.” </p><p> </p><p>“That was very rude of her,” Sasuke says with a harsh tone and yeah, Sakura deserves it, and she knows. And she can see it now, too, why is Sasuke so protective about the blond, because now, after what she heard herself, she is pretty sure she has to change her behaviour, too. “She had no right to treat you bad when you asked her out.” </p><p> </p><p>“I more of yelled at her to go out,” Naruto shrugs. “Probably scared her? I probably deserved it.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, Naruto, Sasuke is right. I had no right to treat you like that. I was wrong, I treated you badly and I apologize for it. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Sakura speaks up. </p><p> </p><p>“Why did you, then…? If… if you say you were wrong, why did you… do it, then?” Naruto asks, genuine. </p><p> </p><p>“I…” honestly, she is embarrassed to say it out loud, but she wants to be honest and wants to do better. Naruto deserves better. “I was following what everyone said. That… that we shouldn't talk to you, shouldn't be friends with you. I was young and stupid and I listened to what the majority said. I was wrong, Naruto, we all were wrong. We all did what the adults told us to, and they were wrong, and I was wrong. I should know better, I should treat you better. I’m sorry I didn’t.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke breathes in and opens his mouth, it’s not the best to lecture Naruto on so many things, because he forgets easily what he’s learned when you overwhelm him with too much information at a time. Also, he wasn't praised yet for remembering things and following the right path and Sasuke is proud of the way he’s managed to make a pattern of how to teach Naruto things, but Naruto is already thinking again, adding more rules and more sense to his blank spaces in social issues and acceptable behaviour, and there are things, especially things about his past, Sasuke would like to address one by one, but not on the road, not on a mission. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto gets easily distracted, therefore Sasuke talks about lighter issues on mission, short ones. This one is on the edge of a big issue Naruto might not be ready for - and not in a mood to talk about. Sasuke would also like this lesson just between the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah… kids listen to their parents, I know that,” Naruto mumbles and Sasuke is happy he took it for just that. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, Naruto, Sakura apologized to you and explained her behaviour,” Sasuke sums up their issue gently, avoiding any further issue they touched, because of reasons. “Is there something you want to say to her?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto keeps silent first, taking few more minutes to think, and afterwards he says to Sasuke: “Do I have to apologize for asking her out?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sasuke shakes his head. “Absolutely not.” </p><p> </p><p>“What about being demanding about it?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke falters - he’s not sure. Maybe. “What about you ask her how she feels about it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Sakura,” Naruto looks her in the eye and Sakura smiles at him, like she didn't hear what he said to Sasuke. “Are, hm, are you mad at me for demanding to go on a date with me?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” she smiles hesitantly, her eyes flicking to Sasuke. “I’m not mad at you.” </p><p> </p><p>“You don't have to apologize for it, then,” Sasuke tells him. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods and after a while he asks: “Do I have to keep in mind she’s a girl and be nice even though she hurt me?” </p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely not.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura bows her head, she knows that, and agrees with it. </p><p> </p><p>“Sakura, do you… do you consider me a friend?” Naruto asks, uncertain. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sakura beams. “I do, both of you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto offers a relieved smile and says: “Okay. I’d like to tell you I… I can forgive you, eventually. When… um, Sasuke told me I can… I can expect you to try to make it better? Make it up to me?” he asks, uncertain, and he’s mostly looking to his left (where Sasuke is walking next to him). </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you can want that,” she agrees. “It means we are on friendly terms, but you keep wary, until I prove myself to you. Is that it?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods at that and Sakura is really happy they solved the tension there was, making sure they are still able to work as a team. And while she can tell Naruto is really friendly and after some time they can become friends, Sakura can tell Sasuke isn't so forgiving. He doesn't have to say anything (and he won't, because he’d really have to blush now that she knows Naruto isn't just a friend to him), but she knows Sasuke guards Naruto to keep him safe, to bring justice to his life, and to fix what was broken. And probably fix himself up as well on the road, too. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?” Sakura catches his attention. “Just so you know, you can hold my hand, if you want.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wants to stab her in a face and Naruto just slowly blinks at her, as if he’s not following. “I- uh, excuse me?” </p><p> </p><p>“You can hold my hand,” Sakura repeats. “You… Kiba was right, you usually hold hands with a person you date. But you don't necessarily have to. Friends can hold hands, too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p> </p><p>There is silence and Naruto doesn't do anything, doesn't reach out to hold her hand, so Sakura does, slowly, instead. She gently holds onto his warm palm, making sure her movement isn't unexpected or unwanted. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke would never admit he watches every move they make, mighty sharingan hidden under his fringe, his face guarded as to not Naruto let know he doesn't approve, because Sasuke undestands Naruto is different than him, Naruto needs friends (as in, plural), and he needs company and he needs the acknowledgement from their ex-classmates and other shinobi, Sakura included. Sasuke knows this, knows how much Naruto wants to be in a group of friends, doing things, having fun, feeling like he belongs and Sasuke wants to give him that, that's why he’s helping him - so he can understand people and social norms, so he can participate in social groups his age and above, but he’s… he’s not ready for someone being Naruto’s close friend now. Not now, when Naruto is vulnerable and not ready and still needs help, because, eventually, Naruto would have to accept that when he wants to socialize in group, he has to do it without Sasuke there for Sasuke isn't comfortable having more friends (or a close person, for that matter) than one. </p><p> </p><p>Not ever, probably. </p><p>
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</p><p>So for now, Sasuke watches as Sakura and Naruto clasp their hands together, she proceeds to gently squeeze his hand in hers and waits for Naruto to reciprocate, but the gesture never comes - he losely holds her hand, honestly unsure about the touch, about the feeling of it. It takes him few seconds... and then letting her hand go. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura tries not to look hurt, so she offers a sad smile that makes Naruto feel a bit bad. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… thank you, Sakura,” Naruto opts. “I appreciate your apology and acting on it. Thank you for… trying to explain something to me. I… It actually means a lot to me when someone explains something to me and doesn't like their temper when I don't get it on the first try, so… thank you… for accepting that. It really… means a lot. And while I do insist on us staying on friendly terms, I can't… I can't just. You hurt me. And I can't… just let you hold my hand now. Do-do I make sense? Does it make sense?” </p><p> </p><p>“It does,” Sasuke rushes with reassuring tone. “It does make sense. You do make sense. You explained your feelings perfectly without being pushy while being as gentle and polite as you could. which is appropriate to do with people you consider close or even friends.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto calms at it and Sakura finds herself saying: “I do understand what you mean, Naruto. And thank you for telling me, you’ve done a really good job at explaining it for yourself as well as for me. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, I won't do it again, unless you ask me to, or initiate any physical gesture yourself. But please keep in mind you can come to me to talk, and you can come to me for holding hands - or hugs.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke all know the blond is not gonna use it any time soon - maybe in a few years. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Naruto’s tense shoulders relax and Sasuke can let his sharingan off now - Naruto is not running off with her. </p><p> </p><p>There is silence between them and after a while Sakura can tell she’s not wanted here, that there is a conversation the boys want to have, but not with her in an earshot, so she takes her leave and joins Kakashi at the head of the carriage. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” Kakashi looks down to meet his student’s eyes. “How did it go?” </p><p> </p><p>“How did you-...?” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi turns over another page in his inappropriate book, sighing deeply: “We all are going to try and fix it in our own way. And I’m really happy he’s got Sasuke to… guard him, till he’ capable of doing it on his own.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura looks down, thinking about what she heard earlier, what Naruto said, what Kakashi apologized for few weeks back. “I’m not sure we can fix it.” </p><p> </p><p>“We probably can't,” Kakashi agrees, voice weirdly sad for a guy like him. “But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Well, I certainly will.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sakura smiles at that, because yeah. She will try, too. </p><p>
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</p><p>Back at the tail, Naruto keeps silent for a little while longer than usually, so Sasuke has to break the ice. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm? Yeah,” Naruto chuckles. “I just. You know. I didn't know a lot of things we talked about, so I need to… sort it out. Like, the handholding, and crush, and… and the kids not talking to me. It… they don't hate me… because I’m stupid, then?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sasuke is quick to answer. “No. They were just told by adults not to talk to you. Because… because, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kyuubi,” Naruto understands. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke hates every single adult in the village. “Yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“So it’s… they didn't… I didn't… do anything wrong?” Naruto asks with such a hopeful face, Sasuke wants nothing but to kiss his reddening cheeks and hide him in his arms. </p><p> </p><p>“You didn't do anything wrong,” - and here it is again, the need to call Naruto “love”, as the pet name would slip out his mouth as easily as he breathes - “You did nothing wrong. The adults are just hideous people.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Naruto agrees. </p><p> </p><p>There is silence between them as they both go through their own thoughts, mostly circling around the conversation they had with and about Sakura. </p><p> </p><p>“You really surprised me, when you told me you have no feelings for Sakura,” Sasuke whispers after a while. </p><p> </p><p>“I really didn't know about this crush and dating thing,” Naruto frowns. “I just… didn't know, so I assumed…” </p><p> </p><p>“Your assumption wasn't wrong, not by… I mean, you assumed from what you’ve learned,” Sasuke stops him. “And I think you, considering how old you were and how this issue had been presented to you, you’ve done a fairly good job in acting on it. You understood you had to invite a person to date if you wanted to hold their hand. You put things into perspective, gave it a thought, carefully chose whom you’d try to ask for a date, and then acted on it. You’ve done everything right, by all means. The feelings… that is a whole another thing.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles and then silently says: “Thank you, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>“For-for what?” </p><p> </p><p>“For this,” Naruto looks his friend in the eyes. “For… for showing me that even if I did something… eh, not wrong, but differently, you still… you still show me I wasn't as stupid as I mostly felt for… uh, nearly everything I did. It’s… I know you are teaching me perspective and all that, so I can learn faster and give the socially acceptable answer and have the “right” view on things and all, but… but it’s this, you know. This, when… I did something in the past and you show me that when you put it into the perspective I saw it from, I’m not a complete idiot after all. That in a way, I didn't do that bad from the limited resources I usually had. And… I’m not sure I can explain how or why is this important to me, but it… it is.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke watches his friend while he talks and he notes on few important things, and decides to share with him. “First, let me react on what you said, and then on how you said it. First, I think I understand in my own way why it is important to you. I mean, aside from the acknowledgement and getting to know you, the real you, it is also helping you understand your past self better, and that is helping your present self, too, am I right?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nods with satisfied and relaxed expresion, and when Sasuke sees he’s not gonna say anything else, Sasuke continues. “And now, how you said it. When I… when we started these lessons few weeks back, you wouldn't be able to pull this speech out of your sleeve. You’d stutter, use too much gestures, talk too loud, yell, got distracted and never got to the point. And you’d never consider this a conversation, rather a monologue - with way too many parentheses and way too much screaming and curse words, probably. But… now that we are working on this, you not only got to the point, but you didn't yell and scream, and you got all the words and meanings right. You also described your feelings very well, even earlier, when talking to Sakura. You are becoming really good with your words, you know. And I’m proud of you for all the improvement you are making.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto bows his head, bashful smile on his face: “...really like this.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” Sasuke prompts him, getting the message, but wants Naruto to speak up. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I like this. You, being… like this with me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Praising you,” Sasuke supplies. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, praising… me. It... makes me feel weird. It’s like, I’m getting all smiley and hot in my face and tingling in my stomach. It’s weird, but a good kind of weird,” Naruto bites his lips, looking up to meet Sasuke’s eyes and<em> fuck me if it’s not the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Does it feel good?” Sasuke asks, curious, but also a bit coy about it. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” immediate answer. “It’s… it does feel really good. Makes me,” and he blushes deeper at that, “Makes me… wanna do <em> things </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>“Things?” Sasuke asks, getting a bit blushy from his version of “things” with Naruto.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Things. Like,” Naruto swallows and averts his gaze, looking down to his moving feet. “Like, do better. Make you proud, work harder. But also…” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shuts himself up and just walks in silence, obviously overwhelmed and embarrassed about it, but Sasuke physically <em> needs </em>to know more. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I also… when you do this, when you praise me, I really want to… to hold you.” </p><p> </p><p>“You can,” Sasuke hears himself answer, already hungry for the physical contact. “I told you you can ask me that anytime.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but… but in private, so I have to wait till we get back from this mission, because we are camping at nights and we have no privacy till we reach the village in two days and then it’s two days back and after that we have to write a report and after, we probably can have some priv-!” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stops at halt and spins Naruto around for him to end up with face right under Sasuke’s chin, with Sasuke’s arms securely tied around his torso, holding him close. </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Fuck </em> the privacy rule,” Sasuke murmurs to the surprised bond, petting his back right under his shoulder blade. “Just fuck it. I’m withdrawing the privacy rule once for all, just. Fuck it, Naruto. You need me, you tell me so, and I’ll come to help. And I don't care who sees and what they think, okay? If you… if you are comfortable with this, I’m changing the rule and you can ask anything of me, in private or in public. Do you agree?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is silent for a while and Sasuke is about to let the boy go, to tell him they don't have to, to tell him that he’s safe and it’s okay to keeping to himself, that their friendship can stay in the private if he wants to - but at that exact moment, Naruto shivers a bit and Sasuke can feel his tears at the side of his neck, when Naruto whispers a shaky: “...I agree.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke holds onto him tighter. They are broken, both of them. There are many things they'd never fix, ever. There are things what will always burn, hurt, and sting, but… they will be fine. Together, they will be fine, eventually.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just kill me already.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Handholding - With Iruka</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Well, I decided to add an arc about Naruto and few other people, mostly for Universum establishment, but also for... well. I mean. I think you'll get it, if you decide to read this and put it into perspective.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>Naruto, despite to what he said to Sasuke and Sakura, still wants to hold hands. He had a feeling this wouldn't be an issue, since Sasuke provides hugs for him, but Naruto longs for public display of affection, however he doesn't know the words for it. He wants someone to hold his hand and not be embarrassed about it, and even though Sasuke told him he changed the rules about them in public, Naruto is still not sure it’s really okay for him. </p><p> </p><p>You see, the youngest Uzumaki does find himself stupid, but not <em> this </em>stupid - if he overwhelms Sasuke, he might lose him as his friend - if he’s not careful, he can lose his trust, his conversations, his hugs and his help, and he’s not ready for that (nor ne thinks he’ll ever be). So yes, while he’s happy Sasuke is getting so comfortable around him, he doesn't want to overuse his privileges for he already feels like he’s pushing Sasuke to something he’s not entirely comfortable with. It’s just, uh, Naruto knows Sasuke cares for him, and he does these things for him willingly, because he chose Naruto as his friend, but that doesn't mean he’s actually fine with the tornado that is Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>(The expression Naruto looks for is is “comfort zone”, and how he’s not sure keeping Sasuke out from his zone is going to affect their friendship, and how far Sasuke actually is able to go for him before he reaches his limit and ends their deal about lessons, or worse, their friendship whatsoever. Naruto would rather for Sasuke to stay in his comfort zone than to come out of it too often to threaten their dynamics.) </p><p> </p><p>So instead of going for help to Sasuke, he goes to other place he knows he can trust. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto! What a wonderful surprise,” Iruka chirps when he spots Naruto outside the Academy right after the lesson ends. “Good to see you back. How was your mission?” </p><p> </p><p>“Good, good, successful and all that,” Naruto laughs a bit loud, but not too loud. </p><p> </p><p>Iruka can say something is up with the boy, his behaviour is changing (you’d have to be blind, deaf <em> and </em>stupid if you didn't notice - the entire village did, by the way) and Naruto was spending a lot of time away from people, so he was a bit suspicious. </p><p> </p><p>(You see, Naruto still didn't tell anyone about the deal with Sasuke - it’s just Sakura and Kakashi who know about their friendship (and not even they are aware of the entire deal and depth of their bond), noone else, and Naruto wants to keep it that way, unless Sasuke says (or acts) otherwise.) </p><p> </p><p>“So, what brings you in, wanted to see your old teacher?” Iruka smiles, happy to see his favourite student. “Would you mind helping me with this?” </p><p> </p><p>Iruka hands him few training knives and shurikens (they need proper sharpening, Naruto observes), and both head back to the building. </p><p> </p><p>“I was… well, I,” Naruto isn't sure how to approach this. With Sasuke it’s easy, because Sasuke knows Naruto doesn't want to be blunt or rude on purpose, so he lets him say anything he wants and then they solve it together, if he’s rude, Sasuke explains why and how to act next time, and Naruto would relax and know Sasuke isn't mad at him, neither he thinks Naruto’s stupid; but with anyone else, even Iruka, the blond doesn't feel the ease he feels around Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>“What is it? Something wrong? Did something happen?” Iruka’s tone becomes serious, so Naruto is quick to speak up. </p><p> </p><p>“No, nothing is wrong, I was just… I’m… I am having… you know. Issues. With, myself and I’m trying to see things from… perspective?” he offers, unsure - those are words Sasuke understands, that's the point where he’d step in and assure the blond it’s okay, he can ask anything and Sasuke won't judge, he’ll help him to go through it. But where Sasuke is attentive and maybe a bit overprotective, Iruka is… well, obviously uncomfortable. “I was just… can I ask you a favour?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of… course,” Iruka agrees, and tries to appear positive about it, sure - but Naruto can sense he isn't, not really. </p><p> </p><p>“Could you - could you please… uh,” Naruto pauses and considers explaining, but he would probably make no sense and only distress the man. “Could you, hold my hand, maybe?” </p><p> </p><p>And there it is, the weirded out look he hoped he won't get, because Sasuke’d understand, he’d know what it means and he’d-!</p><p> </p><p>“Is… Naruto, are you feeling okay? Is there something you wanna talk about?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto gives a nervous laugh and shakes his head: “No, no., nothing is wrong, just forget it, I’ll-” </p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s…” Iruka feels a bit embarrassed about it, but he does probably understand where this came from. “If course I can. C’mon, now, what about I’ll treat you to ramen and you can tell me what was your mission about?” </p><p> </p><p>He let’s few of the papers he carried back to the administrative building on the counter, those are to be dealt with later, Naruto is the priority here, turns around and gently offers his hand to Naruto to hold. The blond looks his teacher in the eyes for any doubt, any second guessing, but Iruka only offers a wider smile and gestures for Naruto to go on. Naruto swallows, but complies, taking his hand and sides with him. </p><p> </p><p>“So, what was the mission about? Something worthy of the future hokage?” Iruka asks, his tone light and his eyes smiling, and even if the gesture is a bit weird, Naruto can't help but smile at that. It’s sweet, simple, easy. Naruto doesn't feel as uncomfortable as he felt while holding Sakura’s hand at that moment, but he can tell eventually it’ll feel good, too, to hold her hand. Iruka was his first trusted person, first person who acknowledged Naruto for who he is, and while Naruto can still feel the sting of ignorance Iruka had against him for a while back in the Academy days, it’s long forgotten. Iruka has been nothing but nice to him since, and he had been trying really hard to deserve his place in Naruto’s life. </p><p> </p><p>“It was just a simple C-rank, you know, going from A to B without much to do,” Naruto answers honestly. “But I guess I like those missions. Had my S-ranked one already, so I think going for some quiet, nice C-ranks is actually good for us, as a team. We can… work on our issues, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>Quiet, simple, real, straight to the point. No yelling, no interrupting, no cursing, no whining and complaining. Iruka gives a slightly raised eyebrow - he didn't just grow up, he… he calmed down, <em> matured </em>, in a really short time. Iruka can't help but wonder why is that, what happened to the already traumatized boy - but he doesn't see anything that would indicate Naruto is unhappy or troubled. He actually seems… more at peace. Like he’s going through something tiring, but in the end, it makes him happier. </p><p> </p><p>“I remember my first C-rank,” Iruka says rather than insisting what is going on in Naruto’s life. If he trusts him, Naruto will tell him on his own, when the time comes. </p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Naruto brightens up. “What was it like?” </p><p> </p><p>“I had a really awkward crush on my teammate,” Iruka laughs and Naruto can't help but smile at that, proud of himself, because he knows what that word means now. “And she wasn't really… you know, obviously wasn't interested, but I tried, anyway, and generally couldn't care less about the mission, which of course got us into some minor trouble…” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto listens to Iruka’s story, and eventually says something back, and Iruka almost doesn't recognize his student. Gone is the loud, obnoxious, annoying kid. When they leave the Academy ground and turn left on one of the main streets of Konoha, Naruto second guesses his hand holding wish. There are people here. They might assume things about Iruka. They might hate him for so obviously interacting with the monster that is Naruto. And Iruka, as if sensing his doubts, squeezed his hand and looked him in the eye: “And how are Sasuke and Sakura?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto visibly relaxes and squeezes Iruka’s hand back. It's a strange feeling, to hold someone's hand. It gives him a sense of belonging, but the occasional stares do make him uncomfortable. “They… uh, Sakura is getting really good with chakra control, better than Sasuke and I. And Sasuke is… doing well, I think.” </p><p> </p><p>The change in Naruto’s tone and body language after mentioning his best friend is what strikes Iruka’s interest. He’s sure there it is, there is the issue that should be addressed. “Still mortal enemies…?” Iruka tosses and looks far beyond the horizon, curious, but doesn't want to sound pushy. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no, we… well, we are on better terms now,” Naruto opts for after a while, not sure if Sasuke would be comfortable with their friendship to be a publicly known thing. “We… talked some things out, I think. So… I think we are actually… well, we gonna make a really good team, you know? The three of us, when… when things settle, I think.” </p><p> </p><p>He’s so… <em> attentive </em> , Iruka realizes. He’s still not sure about all of the words and meanings, but he’s really good with conversation. He’s never been, always too out of place and too loud and always squirming and yelling and demanding. Now he’s… he’s so <em> likeable </em>, and Iruka wants nothing but to keep the boy close, getting to know this side of him, helping him out. He unknowingly squeezes his hand again and then smiles, when Naruto returns the gesture. </p><p> </p><p>Yes, they do receive few weirded out looks, but when Choji meets them before the Yamanaka flower shop, he doesn't bat an eye at their joined hands, only greets them with a smile, and rushes into the store to probably get Ino for an assigned mission. And when they reach Ichiraku in the middle of conversation about Iruka’s current Ninja class, Naruto feels almost sorry he has to let go of his hand. Teuchi saw them holding hands, too, but didn't mention it, and didn't act any different - happily welcoming Naruto back to the village. </p><p> </p><p>When they finish their food and Iruka walks the boy back to his apartment, Naruto doesn't ask to hold his hand again, but Iruka offers, like it’s normal between them. Naruto hesitates, looks in his old teacher's face for disapproval, pity, any kind of disgust or ridicule. He didn't see any. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto holds his hand and something in him settles. It’s comfortable, warm, nice. He trusts Iruka, and he knows he’s genuine, but. Well, it’s not… well. It’s… not exactly… </p><p> </p><p>...Naruto didn't know what he expected. But this wasn't exactly what he was looking for. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Handholding - with Tsunade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Naruto decided to go to another person who believed in him. He actually found her in the hospital rather than the official building, which he was glad for. He didn't want any ANBU members to just witness him doing something… </span>
  <em>
    <span>inappropriate</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in a way. She’s sitting behind a table, writing something down, working, but not that much busy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Naruto,” she greets him like she’s glad to see him. And maybe she is, in the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto touches the necklace he got from her. “A-are you busy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade falters, her attention thrown towards the brat. “No. I’m not, not now, what… what’s going on?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks around the room, stalling. “I… no, don't worry, nothing bad, or like, wrong. I just have… I, ah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was way easier with Iruka, really, because, well, he at least isn't able to break all of his bones in one punch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade, on the other hand, already concluded what this is about. Iruka came to her for advice right after he led Naruto home the evening Naruto asked him to hold his hand. He was afraid the boy is lacking something, or there’s something going on, but Tsunade told him he’s probably processing his childhood (she hates Sarutobi for doing this to him, too) and trying to make sense to it all now. She had no idea Naruto trusts her enough to actually come to her - but ont he other hand, there are not many adults he could go to with this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, is there something you wanna talk about?” she asks, putting her pen down, the documents she was filling up forgotten; serious, but not her usual hard tone. She understands this is a delicate thing for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m… I’m not sure, honestly. I know there are things everyone knows about me, but I’m not allowed to know. I know there… I know there needed to be restrictions for me since I am the monster here-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are not a monster,” she tells him, quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto wants to snicker,</span>
  <em>
    <span> this is the same thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but doesn't, he really didn't come here to argue or blame anyone. He’s done enough of this and is heading to a better place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… I was wondering and all and I just wanted to ask if you… if you have time to, uh. I don't… know. If you…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was actually headed to the official building, have some bussiness there,” she interrupts his muttering. “Wanna join me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, she’s sure now. He wants her to hold his hand while in public, like he had with Iruka earlier this week. She doesn't know why exactly this is important to him, but that doesn't mean she minds complying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>this bashful smile</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tsunade realizes watching the kid, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s the same one his father used to have. “</span>
  </em>
  <span>Could you… could please hold my hand?</span>
  <em>
    <span>”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d wish Jiraiya would still be alive to see this, how strong and handsome is he getting. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Your godfather would be really proud of you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I can,” Tsunade gets up, walks around the table and on her way past Naruto, she gently grabs his hand and spins him around to go with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't have the time to thank her, or feel that much embarrassed, before he’s dragged outside the hospital and down the streets of Konoha. Naruto realizes they are taking the longer way to the official building, and can't help but blush when he sides Tsunade, holding her hand, obviously connected. He feels a wave of affection for the lady, and while he has his suspicions Iruka told her what’s going on with his favourite student, Tsunade still didn't have to do this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No complains about yet another C-rank mission?” she asks, teasing rather the matter-of-fact tone she generally uses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Naruto shakes his head, small smile on his lips. “I am rather enjoying those, I gotta say. Plenty of time to think and all that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want some pills for that?” she teases further and Naruto gently jabs her in her ribs and laughs, and she does the same to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto can’t stop the warm feeling he gets when their hold breaks in favour of some gentle jabbing and teasing and tickling, and then immediately after join again. This is a beautiful feeling, Naruto concludes, smiling down to their connected hands. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is this how it would feel like to hold hands with his mum, or grandmother</span>
  </em>
  <span>? This warm, homey feeling he gets from this is beautiful. Tsunade is bickering about Naruto being tiny and weak, and Naruto tells her with straight face she’s old, and then she jabs him a bit more, but it still doesn't hurt at all and Naruto finds it amusing and wonderful, how the strongest person (both in power and in physical strength) can be so gentle with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking,” Tsunade tells him, when they are on the main street of Konoha. “I’m gonna assign you a B-rank so you can get more experience for chuunin exams. Just for you, Sasuke and Kakashi, I don't have that kind of trust in Sakura, yet.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks her in the eyes and nods. “Sounds good with me. Something long therm?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… not exactly,” she admits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you… I think you are keeping me in a village because of Kyuubi, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade, unlike Iruka, doesn't really like this mature side of Naruto. He’s way too observant, and seems to be rather intelligent, much for his own sake. “Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto sighs and doesn't say anything after, which honestly shocks the Hokage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I just want you to know this isn't entirely my decision. The Daimyo and council have a lot to say in that. And I don't agree with them, just so you know. I think you are rather strong shinobi, and I don't think you, or Kyuubi, would be a trouble to the village ever again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The seal is strong, right?” Naruto asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, no, it’s not, not really. It would actually be easy for Naruto to set the demon free. “I don't believe in seals, when it comes to chakra. I believe in people, their hearts and souls.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto decides to take it as a compliment, but then again, “It sounds weird, coming from you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade smiles for herself and once again wished Jiraiya’d be alive to see this, see </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’d be proud, maybe a bit teary eyed, but then again, this was Jiraiya she was thinking about - he’d probably ask Naruto abou this opinion on his writing and then get offended when Naruto would replay he’d never heard of him. They would go along, tho, Tsunade concludes to herself, both of them being naïve, stronghearted, both of them believing in peace and the good the world has to offer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe so,” Tsunade agrees out loud. “I don't agree with most of what was done to you, Naruto. I need you to know I’m fighting on your side, and this, the council agreeing with you being assigned a B-rank, means a lot in this fight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto considers thanking her, but instead says: “I appreciate having you on my side. You… are important, to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade smiles at him a squeezes his hand in hers. She feels responsible for her best friend’s godson and wants him to be happy - but also wants some kind of redemption from the village (especially the council). They did wrong to Naruto, and they should be held responsible for that. “You are important to me, too. No matter how much I call you a brat and how irresponsible you are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m learning better!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade actually has to agree with him: “You are. And you are doing a really good job about it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Iruka was right. There is something going on, something has shifted in the boy. She doesn't know what caused this change or rather improvement, but she’s sure this isn't just a self indulgent thing. Naruto must be growing close to someone, she just doesn't think it’s her place to ask this. Maybe, after Naruto comes in terms with it all himself, after she’ll be able to make the council tell him the truth, maybe Naruto comes around and tells her. For now, she’s happy he considers her something akin to family, or a close person at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks at their joined hands and whispers: “Thanks for this, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you… will you tell me what is this about?” Tsunade asks, not concerned, mostly just curious, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto takes his time, stalls for a second, looks around. “No. Not… not now, no.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiles and squeezes his hand once more, before leaning now and kissing his forehead, just to remind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Handholding - With Kakashi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Naruto couldn't help but compare the people he held hands with - Sakura felt wrong still for no, Iruka felt trust and old bond, and Tsunade felt like… like family. He liked both of the later ones, but still - any of those handholding experiences wasn't what he was looking for, not exactly. He then, after a while, decided to go to another person for help. He was… wary, probably the most embarrassed about it, but decided to give it a go. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto though he’d have to look for him, but actually, finding the man was easy - down the park, sitting on the low branch with his back leaned into the tree with the Icha Icha copy in hand, was relaxing his sensei. Naruto wasn't sure how to ask this, but he was sure if Tsunade knew before Naruto approached her, Kakashi knows what this is about, too. And, judging by his gaze, he was. </p><p> </p><p>“Morning,” he greeted his student lazily, as if he’d just woke up. “Why are you up this early?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hoped to… find you,” Naruto decides to tell the truth. </p><p> </p><p>“Hn?” Kakashi closed his book. “Am I that easy to read…?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn't tell him <em> everyone </em>in the village knows Kakashi is always found either here, at the exact same branch, or by the monument; and since it’s too early and the summer is right behind the corner, this place goes misty right after the sunrise, the river nearby keeping this place smelling fresh and the morning sun makes the park warm even this early, the trees making this a beautiful area to take in the landscape behind the village, and from this point, you could see the entire valley waking up, gaining it’s colours - quite the romantic view, if you ask anyone around - and everyone knew Kakashi loved a romantic scenery. </p><p> </p><p>(Noone knows what had happened here about fifteen years ago, by the time everything made sense and even in the war, there were moments that Kakashi kept in his mind and treasured in his heart - it’s not like anyone knew about him and Obito like that, they kept it secret, and then… there was no reason for him to - not even after <em> Minato </em>- …) </p><p> </p><p>“I was… I have a favour to ask from you,” Naruto decides not to beat around a bush. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi smiles, his book forgotten. “Join me, then.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stalls - he and Kakashi aren't close, and while he can't tell he doesn't trust the man per se, recalling Sasuke’s distaste for the man is a big reason to stay adamant towards the jonin. But then again, Kakashi, since then does nothing but helps him, eyes him a bit more and even tries to explain things better, simpler way for Naruto to understand. </p><p> </p><p>(Sasuke, by the way, snickered at the man trying to explain the rasengan technique to him in a way Naruto would understand for <em> hours </em> . He even tried to <em> draw a picture </em> , and a <em> diagram </em> , and he tried about hundred ways to explain it without any success - Naruto just didn't get it. The malicious glee Sasuke felt about this reached its limit when Kakashi was, at the end of the day, tired, mad at himself and so, <em> so </em>desperate, when with hurt ego, forced to come to Sasuke for help. Sasuke agreed to help with almost mockery in his voice, enjoying Kakashi’s humiliation when the young genin knew exactly how to handle the blond, how to approach the technique, how to give him orders and how to keep his attention. Kakashi rolled  his eyes when Sasuke made a big deal about Naruto sitting close to Sasuke (as in, closer than to Kakashi), and then the entire praising process started; he told Naruto how proud of him he was for keeping attention, for not running around and yelling, because staying focused was really hard for the blond and Sasuke is aware of that. Then Sasuke explained why was it important to teach a new technique and why he had to stay focused for a while longer. After that, he explained not everyone is a good teacher, but that doesn't mean they don't know what they are doing - and he looked Kakashi dead in the eyes when mentioning that.</p><p> </p><p>(Kakashi wasn't sure if it was a threat, or a compliment, because honestly it sounded like both at the same time.) </p><p> </p><p>He then insisted on Naruto having some snacks and some sugar in his system to help his brain focus, and after that, they tried to explain things to Naruto again. Kakashi explained the essence, and Sasuke tried to find the most vivid example. Then he took a simple ball from the kids playing nearby, and showed him rotation, explained and taught him the way to calculate the spinning effectivity. Kakashi witnessed Naruto to do some hard math out of his head and Sasuke praised him again, even if the outcome wasn't precise per se, but Naruto got the idea of how to do it, how to deal with it, so now he could proceed with practising. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi was trying for hours and hours with no luck, but it took Sasuke less than fifteen minutes with snack time included. Sasuke was right and Kakashi was a complete <em> failure </em>of a teacher. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi felt actually embarrassed when Naruto happily bolted of the ground to show Sakura what he’s trying to learn, and Sakura stopped her meditation to lean in and listen, and ask question, and probably praise Naruto, too. Kakashi was as dumbfounded as he’d ever be. <em> Stop treating him as if he was stupid, or mentally disabled, </em>Sasuke scoffed, annoyed. Kakashi actually felt embarrassed at that, because yeah - maybe he went from not trying at all to trying too hard. Maybe he should spare more time to spent with his mentor’s son to actually get to know him.) </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi can see the hesitation in Naruto’s eyes, but he doesn't say anything, so he tries applying rather Sasuke’s way of dealing with the blond - just give him time, give him a second to himself to collect his thoughts. After a while, Naruto looks up and jumps up to join his teacher at the low branch. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi can't stop the happy smile under his mask. “So, what makes you take a stroll through the village this soon?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shrugs, looks down and swings his feet few times, before answering: “When I was a kid, I used to… well, people were not always nice to me, you know, so I… tended not to… come to contact with them, when I didn't have to, but I still loved strolls, as you call it. At first, I did it at night - there were usually not many people around, but then, one time, I got… well. They were drunk and I wasn't… whatever.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi finally, <em> finally </em> understands the feeling of anger, frustration and regret Sasuke gets whenever someone treats the blond wrong, because there goes the “pang” of reality fo Naruto's past. There it fucking <em> goes </em> , and it strikers right through Kakashi’s heart. This kid, this child, this innocent being was… probably physically assaulted by drunk <em> adults </em> for something he had not only nothing to do with, personally, but also had no chance to <em> defend </em> himself. And more than that, had no way to demand justice for this action, because… well, he had noone to go to. <em> Noone </em>. No responsible adult, no trusted relative or a friend. And Kakashi wants nothing but just make it right, make up for it, apologize again, take the boy into his arms and tell him it’s all good now, it’s not gonna happen ever again and Kakashi’s here now to stay, to keep by his side, to take care of him. And… yeah. He should have - he should had. </p><p> </p><p>“Did they hurt you?” Kakashi find himself whispering. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn't answer. </p><p> </p><p>“Who were they? Would you tell me?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shrugs. “If I did, would it matter?” </p><p> </p><p>“It would to me, if they were shinobi,” Kakashi answers honestly. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shakes his head. “Civilians. I don't… I actually don't know… I was young, I don't… but, to the point-!” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't… do you… do you know they had no right to hurt you, right?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto pauses, looking up to his teacher. “Well, it doesn't really matter, does it? They did, so, who cares?” </p><p> </p><p>“I- Naruto, we care, Sasuke, Sakura, Iruka, Tsunade, me - all of us, we care. We care for you to know you didn't deserve this. You don't deserve this, any of this hatred you got for Kyuubi. Do you… do you understand that now?” Kakashi asks. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shrugs, because to him, it doesn't really make any difference. Village hated him, adults especially. And the Kyuubi was part of him, in him, inside his body, responsible for all the mess, for the death of Iruka’s parents, for a lot of other people’s deaths and injuries. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't…” Naruto frowns and keeps his look down. “I don't know how I feel about that yet. It’s too soon for me to have an opinion on this. I feel like there’s a bit more to all of this Kyuubi thing, but I can't ask about it. When I have all of the information about myself and my past, maybe when I find out who my parents were, too. Then I can have… opinion on this all. My past, what I deserved or not, what is this Kyuubi thing exactly for me, personally. I can't answer questions about this matter now, therefore please, don't ask them.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi is on one word, <em> stunned </em> . He eyes the boy up and down and he gets it now, sees what Tsunade and Iruka meant, except for, Kakashi knows where is this coming from. And no matter how much he wants to see <em> Sasuke </em> in these opinions, he wants to see something the raven haired boy is doing wrong, is <em> desperate </em> to find a trace of manipulation, so he could come in between their relationship, this is all Naruto. There is nothing here that would resemble Sasuke’s influence, <em> nothing </em>. Sasuke is only helping the younger boy, but isn't manipulating him, doesn't force his opinions on him, at all. If he were, Naruto wouldn't come to him in the first place, and wouldn't talk like this. He would straight out accused Kakashi and refused to share anything personal (just like Sasuke had before), but this? This is pure Naruto, just him and his matured side Sasuke helped him to achieve. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I asked, I didn't mean to hurt you,” Kakashi withdraws. “Are… are you okay? Can you… tell me more then, tell me what you wanted to originally?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is silent for a while, then sort of panics, he looks scared and embarrassed, when he says, voice low: “I… I forgot what that was. I… I got lost, I’m sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>And Kakashi’s really doesn't like the vulnerability in his voice. And it hurts and stings and he sees Sasuke’s <em> need </em>to praise him whenever he can, assure him it’s okay to make mistakes, because… yeah, it is. It is, and Naruto never had the childhood, never had the option to make mistakes to be gently corrected, explained things to, reasoned with. So he quickly applies another thing he knows Sasuke does: “That’s okay, Naruto, it wasn't your fault. Those things happen, when you get distracted. It was my fault, I changed the subject and distracted you, for that I am sorry. It wasn't your fault.” </p><p> </p><p>And it works, Kakashi sees. Naruto falls relaxed, his expression at ease, hopeful even - for what, Kakashi doesn't know. </p><p> </p><p>“If it helps, you were talking about your… night strolls, and why they stopped,” Kakashi supplies. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah,” Naruto smiles. “So because of the drunks and all, I stopped the night strolls. And I started those ones, right before dawn. I like it, because nearly noone’s around, and I can… breathe, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>“The air smells different, right?” the jounin smiles. </p><p> </p><p>“It does!” Naruto agrees, excited a tad too much, but immediately apologizes for being too loud. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, Naruto, it wasn't that loud to apologize for. I quite like you all excited,” Kakashi smiles and he isn't lying. If he had to choose between vulnerable and hurt blond and excited and loud blond, he’d always choose the latter one. </p><p> </p><p>“I can't yell,” the genin reminds him. “It’s rude and people generally find it childish.” </p><p> </p><p>“You know what? I don't mind you being childish,” Kakashi decides. “If you wanna yell and scream and be all loud and excited and talk my ear off and don't care about adult behaviour and responsibility, I am always here for you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto eyes his teacher in all seriousness, and Kakashi knows he’s thinking, probably looking for a lie, for a threat, for a trap. In the end, he asks a simple: “Why?” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi wished in that moment, he could tell him. But he can't. Not yet, but he promises himself he would insist in front of Tsunade and the council he could, as soon as possible. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I can't tell you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Is it… is it the same thing Sasuke talked about few weeks back?”</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi curses the intelligence of this boy. “You are way too smart for your own good.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto blushes - Kakashi never called him smart. Ever. “You are just saying that.” </p><p> </p><p>“You should know by now I never say things out loud, unless I mean them,” Kakashi replied, serious. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto eyes him, all shy and timid, and Kakashi sees it now - this bashful smile… <em> he’s all Minato.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke… really doesn't like you, you know,” Naruto says after a while. “I mean. He told me it’s personal, and about how you got your sharingan, and about how he just doesn't like you, because you are always late and you are never personal.” </p><p> </p><p>“Never personal?” Kakashi raises his eyebrows. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, like… you know. Other senseis told their teams about their past, and about the best missions, and what they did before leading a genin teams, and about war and about how they got scars, and about history and about their family if they have it or about clans they belong to and all that. And you… never told us anything. We only know you were an ANBU before that, and that you somehow got a Sharingan, but you aren’t related to Uchiha. But… that’s it.” </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't know you’d be interested in any of this…” </p><p> </p><p>“We would. And, I mean, I kinda get it, Sasuke I mean, because you know everything about us, you have our files. But we don't have yours, you see? And Sasuke’s got trust issues, so… yeah. But I kinda think he doesn't like you because of… me. Well, because of the <em>crucial information</em> you all can't tell me.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi can't lie to the kid. So he doesn't. “That’s true, I think. He blames me for a lot of things and he’s not exactly wrong, that I can tell you. But… what pisses him the most is that, after all, I am his sensei. He has to trust me, has to listen to me, because not only I’m more experienced and I outrank him, but I can also teach him things noone else can.” </p><p> </p><p>“And you still refuse to tell him how you got your sharingan,” Naruto voices. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi sighs. He likes the loud and screaming child way better than this intelligent one. “Well. It’s… personal, you see.” </p><p> </p><p>“I could've guessed as much,” the blond even rolls his eyes, that smart he is. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi decides it’s time to put an end to this conversation, so he holds out his hand for Naruto to hold, without a word. And Naruto, after a second of hesitation, reaches out and grabs it. Kakashi smiles and uses his strength and trips the boy closer to him so Naruto ends in Kakashi’s arms. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi laughs and for three seconds he hides the kid in his arms and Naruto’s heart skips a beat, because Kakashi’s arms are <em> strong </em> , and his chest is all <em> muscles </em> and he smells all manly and even Sasuke said Kakashi is one of the strongest and most feared Konoha’s shinobi, but just like Tsunade, he decided to use his strength not to <em> hurt </em> him, but rather to <em> guard </em> him, calm him, hug him and show him affection, care, <em> protection </em> . <em> Is this </em> , Naruto finds himself thinking, <em> what being in his father’s arms would feel like? All muscley and strong and tall and broad and manly smell of deodorant and mush and fresh morning dew and a soap and just adult man </em> - and Naruto can't <em> not </em>feel safe tucked in there. </p><p> </p><p>Sadly, way too early he’s released and Kakashi jumps down the tree and gestures for Naruto to follow him, which of course he does, jumps right down next to his sensei. Kakashi would normally reach for his book to read on the way, but he feels like Naruto deserves his full attention, especially now. </p><p> </p><p>“Anyway,” Kakashi looks up to see the sun rising above the valley, “when you came here, you asked you had a favour to ask me. What was it?” </p><p> </p><p>He eyes his student just to make sure he gets all flushed and bashful and cute kind of vulnerable, child-like shy - that kind you’d expect a kid to have when offered a gift from a distant relative they have no memory yet for being too young. </p><p> </p><p>“Would you… would you hold my hand, please?” Naruto asks finally and Kakashi lets his heart skip a beat at the trust he’s shown. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you never have to ask,” Kakashi smiles at him and gets a hold of the kid’s small palm. “Anytime you want me to, I’m here. I promised I’ll be.” </p><p> </p><p>And this is interesting feeling, because, with Iruka, holding hands was… familiar, like something that was bound to happen. They were close, and it’s been a while. But Kakashi was still and new addition to his life, mostly because the man was so private to even reveal his face to the kids, and because maybe, there is a connection between them, maybe there is something Sasuke and Kakashi can't tell him, and maybe… maybe Kakashi is somehow close to Naruto, or even a member of his family, <em> real </em> family, maybe a distant relative, and noone can tell him, because the council banned him to ever <em> have </em>a family. </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi?” he addresses the jounin after a while. </p><p> </p><p>He looks down with his visible eye smiling, obviously happy to be here, to have his student’s trust, to have a conversation with him. “Hn?” </p><p> </p><p>“I… I think I forgive you. For… whatever… you apologized for few weeks back. I was just. I was just hurt that noone was… you know. People are apologizing now and all and… and I was just mad that you didn't do anything earlier but I don't wanna… I don't just wanna be mad at people for ignoring me anymore, it was… it was taking me to a bad place, in my mind I mean, so… I… I forgive you. For the past, if you… if you…” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi is as amazed as he is surprised. He didn't expect Naruto to turn in to him with trust for a long, long time. He stops, leans down and puts his other hand (the one he’s not holding Naruto’s with) into his hair, messing it up a bit. “You don't have to forgive me.  I already have it in my life-long plan to protect you, and be by your side till the end of my days. And who knows,  maybe even after that, if possible.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto grins up at him and Kakashi wished he were there for him since the start, since he was a small baby, just barely able to move around. He made a terrible mistake, and while he knew he can't change the past, he knew that Naruto is becoming a steady part of his future, and noone can change his mind - not even the council, not the Hokage, not the Daimyo, not <em>Sasuke</em>. </p><p> </p><p>...Hopefully. </p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Handholding - With Shikamaru</h2></a>
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</p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru was as lazy as he was intelligent, that was obvious. What wasn't obvious was how observant he tended to be when noone was around and he had time to think. Of course, he had his fair share of sleeping at the job or miscalculatings, but other than that, he took a rather pet peeve in noting things noone else did. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto, for once, was that kind of street-smart noone ever could be, noone, not even other orphans, because Naruto lived through hell and back, and maybe that was the reason Shikamaru did find the boy worth fighting for. </p><p> </p><p>While his friendship with Ino was a bit forced (for her being the crucial part of his team) and with Choji basically destined (mostly due their fathers being friends since they themselves were in cribs), his friendship with his other (ex)classmates were definitely less distinctive. Not with Naruto, tho. Naruto, since he left Academy, became a good friend of Shikamaru, for his humor, for his love of food and a day in, for sleeping in and finding places to hide from people to take a good nap in, but also for how smart he was in ways noone else (that Shikamaru knew) was. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't like they knew each other that well, but that didn't mean Shikamaru wasn't a part of Naruto’s life - as much as the blond probably didn't realize. Shikamaru always answered Naruto’s loud greetings at school, even when the kid probably didn't hear him. He was always aware when Naruto missed lessons and after school went to look for him. He never actually went and talked to him when he found him, he just made sure the kid was safe. He bickered at him for never going to school, because he was sure Naruto would make a great shinobi, and since Shikamaru wasn't much into talking, he never really made a conversation with him (but he never did with anyone, really). He’s realizing talking to people is good, Asuma is trying to teach him that, and since he knows Naruto doesn't have many friends and doesn't have the luxury of choosing whether to talk or not (like to parents, for example, or pushy Ino who was really into gossip and boys), he figured that after starting conversations with all the people that mattered to him the most, he might as well stop just observing Naruto from afar and make sure he’s okay, he might as well just go and talk to him too. </p><p> </p><p>(It wasn't really his idea that much, if he had to admit; Choji informed Shiki he saw Iruka and Naruto holding hands earlier and asked if Shikamaru thought the blond is okay, also wondered if something had happened to the boy, because Choji was an easy-going person, not having issues talking, but wasn't uncomfortable with being quiet, either (Shikamaru was really grateful for having a friend with this ability), and he was just a sweet, friendly soul. And yeah, Shikamaru found it a bit weird at first, because, who would hold hands with adults in their age…? But then it striked home when the genius witnessed Kakashi doing the same for the Uzumaki; of <em> course </em> he would want to hold hands with adults (or maybe it wasn't about adults, but rather people he trusted). It meant a <em> bond </em>to him, or something close to it. </p><p> </p><p>He was lying in the grass close to park, when he saw Naruto approaching. The blond probably didn't see him and just made his usual morning stroll - it was a bit past sunrise and Naruto was probably heading home already. </p><p> </p><p>“Summer mornings are the best,” Shikamaru huffs out, when is Naruto in hearing range. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto, recognizing the voice, actually smiles. “Morning, Shikamaru.” </p><p> </p><p>“Morning to you too,” Shiki smiles. “Even though I haven't gone to sleep yet.” </p><p> </p><p>“Me neither,” Naruto comes closer, still walking, only slowing down now. “Too much on your mind?” </p><p> </p><p>“A bit, yeah,” the Nara agrees. “Are you in a hurry?” </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Naruto answers honestly, a bit confused, but then realized this is probably an invitation…? “Not really.” </p><p> </p><p>“Join me, then?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto isn't used to this yet. He doesn't have friends per se, and he was never actually invited to spent time with any of them, yet alone the smartest and coolest person in Naruto’s generation. </p><p> </p><p>“You sure?” Naruto asks, uncertain. “I really don't wanna interrupt, you really looked quite peaceful there.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Shiki chuckles. “And, actually, always happy to see my friends. C’mon on,” he places his hand to the grass next to him. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles and takes the offering, laying down few inches away from the kid. He never thought Shikamaru considered him a friend, but on the other hand, enver really acted like an enemy, either, and Naruto decides to take it for as it is. He keeps quiet, and Shikamaru is smart enough to call him out on it. </p><p> </p><p>“No fidgeting and squirming and talking my ear off?” he asks after a while. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto hums, closes his eyes and breathes in.</p><p> </p><p>“You really are changing. Quite troublesome.” </p><p> </p><p>“Is it?” Naruto wonders.</p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru turns his head to look at the blond - he looks quite settled. Calm, quiet, comfortable, even. “I’m not used to the ball of energy that is Naruto Uzumaki to be this calm.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… learning the acceptable behaviour,” Naruto tells him. “Still learning, tho. Still just trying to get a grip on it.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru hums. “Sasuke teaching you?” </p><p> </p><p>It’s a wild guess, but he has his suspicions about the two of them. Both the same, and both quite made to be, if you ask Shiki. They always felt strong for one another. Hate or rivalry or competitiveness, however you call it. But not friends nor enemies act like they do. Not since they were like, five. </p><p> </p><p>“He told you?” Naruto lifts his head, his tone a bit panicked. </p><p> </p><p>“Noone told me, just… a guess. I mean. It’s a bit obvious he’s rubbing off on you - but also… he’s a tad bit social lately. Even talks like a human, sometimes.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto laughs nervously, but lies back down. “He… has his days, I guess.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Shiki agrees. “But lately… he seems more at ease, not as guarded. And you are way too loud and way too mature. I just… put two and two together.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is quiet for a while, thinking about his relationship with Sasuke, and about his comfort zone. “Can you… can you not mention this to anyone? Probably not even him? I mean… he probably isn't comfortable with people prying on his personal life. And, you know, he considers his personal life even things like, <em> greetings </em>. It’s… you know. I don't… he’s quite the talker tho, when we are alone.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru wants to tell him something about y<em> ou always wanna woo the person you like, so of course he’s gonna woo you with words and probably physical attention </em>, but doesn't, because, well, too much work and too much explanation. Shikamaru’s not gonna be the one who tells Naruto the Uchiha prodigy’s obvious attraction to the blond kid, but neither will he tell Naruto to take a second to think about what he really feels for Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>Troublesome as it might be, Shikamaru is not going anywhere now, no matter some people being weirded out by their love. Shikamaru is a loyal friend, but also couldn't give a fuck about whom do his friends love, if they are happy. </p><p> </p><p>And, after years of observing the fox demon from afar, he can tell there is much more to Naruto Uzumaki people realize, and maybe not even Uchiha himself knows yet. Shikamaru looks up to the heads of past hokage’s, namely the Yondaime’s. </p><p>
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</p><p>Naruto turns his head to look Shikamaru in the face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not really good with silence yet,” he admits, sheepishly. “Is this… is this comfortable silence or should I try to think of an issue to talk about?” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru doesn't look at his friend for a while, smiling to himself. <em> Your child is a gift to the world, Yondaime. </em>“I think… we are good either way.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh. I’m… I’m sorry I asked, then,” Naruto offers a bashful smile and lies back down, looking up, watching the sky change its colours. </p><p> </p><p>“Don't apologize,” Shikamaru shrugs. “It’s okay to ask for directions. I assume you only have this agreement with Sasuke now. But just so you know, you can ask me, too, if you feel comfortable. I don't mind.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto knows that despite Shikamaru’s bored tone, he means exactly what he says - he just tries to appear nonchalant about it. He smiles and turns his head to see the boys carefly calm expression. “That actually means a lot to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” the genius sighs, content. </p><p> </p><p>They fall into comfortable silence after that for at least half an hour. Shikamaru wouldn't tell the blond can take more than thirty <em> seconds </em>without speaking and moving, but when he turns his head to look at the Namikaze offspring, he sees the boy is looking up, obviously thinking. </p><p> </p><p>“Something on your mind?” he decides to break the silence. </p><p> </p><p>“Just… the usual, I guess.” </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing you want to talk about?” Shikamaru offers a conversation. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, no, not necessarily. I think… I think I’m starting to understand that silence between friends can sometimes tell more than words. Is it… is it stupid? Do I make sense?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s not stupid,” Shikamaru assures him. “It makes sense - at least to me it does. I mostly work like that, you know. It’s… silence, and sometimes company, and we speak only occasionally.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a shame you an Sasuke aren't friends,” Naruto chuckles. “He enjoys that, too.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru shrugs - he wouldn't mind, no matter how troublesome he finds the prodigy to be. He probably is an interesting person, if Naruto thinks so highly of him, no matter how personal that feeling is. And yeah, why not to actually try and take the first step to give the egoist a chance. “Maybe we will, one day.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto beams at him and Shikamaru can't tell if he’s doing this on purpose, bringing Sasuke out of his shell, looking out for him, negotiating friendships and partnerships for the boy, or it’s just a side product of being friends with Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>Probably the later, Shikamaru concludes before he sighs - it’s nearly time to join the adult life. </p><p> </p><p>“You have a mission today?” Shiki asks and gets up. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto follows suit but shakes his head. “No, I'm to meet Kakashi for training later, but he never shows up sooner than midday.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m leaving for a two day c-rank,” Shikamaru yawns and stretches. “It’s troublesome, but at least I get to spend time with Asuma. He was out of Konoha for a while now.” </p><p> </p><p>“What for?” Naruto asks, curious. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to know, too,” Shikamaru chuckles and takes the route back to official building. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not gonna go to sleep at all?” Naruto asks when he realizes Shikamaru’s in his gear and heading to the opposite direction of his clan’s compound. </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru snickers, because well, it’s not really easy to fall asleep for him, these days. So much on his mind, so little time. “I have… a complicated relationship with my sleeping pattern. Not much I can do about it, honestly. I hope I can get some sleep on mission.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto sides with him and asks an obvious question: “Is it easier for you to sleep when you are on a mission?” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru shrugs, “Well, yeah. I just tend to sleep better when I’m not alone.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto takes a note at that, because maybe (after he asks Sasuke) he could do something about this situation. For now, he just nods and doesn't ask any further. The genius can see Naruto’s thoughts whirling and while he misses the constant energy the boy possesses, it's still kind of endearing to watch him when he’s all quiet. </p><p> </p><p>He then remembers Naruto’s issues and how he was Kakashi holding the boy’s hand earlier this week, and decides to take matter in his own hands - literally. </p><p> </p><p>“And by the way,” Shikamaru holds his hand out for Naruto. “You can hold my hand, too. I know i’m not an adult, but maybe it would help.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto blushes hard at his words, bows his head down to murmur something about gossip and observation and genius, but he still grabs Shikamaru’s hand, nonetheless. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure what this is about,” Shikamaru goes on, seeing Naruto wouldn't talk about this. “But I see it's important to you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks up to see Shikamaru’s face is still slightly bored, but there’s something akin to amusement in his eyes he doesn't want to show. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s…” he starts, unsure if he can tell him. “It’s… I saw kids around holding hands and all that, when I was a kid. You and Choji, when we were not even in the Academy, yet, I remember vividly. And holding hands with your parents, too. I just… I just.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto falls silent and Shikamaru understands, now. He doesn't say anything, but squeezes Naruto’s hand, firm and warm and secure, and keeps Naruto closer to his side, because no, he can't imagine what that felt like - the loneliness that was forced on the oh so social boy. That must have been the worst for him; being alone in all this. </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru promises to himself, he’d never leave Naruto on his own ever again. </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. With a company</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When the himbo meets the genius. (And it isn't Sasuke and Naruto this time.)</p>
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</p><p> </p><p>They were at the Academy, Kiba and Hinata and Shikamaru and Shino and Ino and Choji and Sasuke, too - something about filling their forms to apply for chuunin exams or what, they were waiting for one o the sensei’s to show up to tell them what exactly was going on. </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru took in the rare occasion to watch the Uchiha, and it seemed Sasuke did the same. The room was full of chatter and laughing and typical teenage fun, when Kiba of all people said loud enough: “It’s a bit weird, innit? Just holding hands at this age?” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke wanted to jump in the conversation and probably fight the Inuzuka, so of course Shikamaru had to intervene for the Konoha’s future purpose. </p><p> </p><p>“You never hold hands with anyone, Kiba?” he draws, lazy and bored and a tad too loud, as he wasn't really affected, but he was and everyone in the room went silent suddenly, realizing Kiba crossed a line noone knew the laid back, cool and lazy guy had. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do!” Kiba yells, unnecessarily loud. “With girls!” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru considers calling him stupid, but that wouldn't really change anything, so he decides to say: “Well, you could hold hand with a boyfriend, too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ew, that’s gay,” Kiba says, slightly disgusted. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’s exactly what it means,” Shikamaru guesses with a roll of his eyes. “People are gay, or bi, or whatever, Kiba, get over yourself.” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba looks perplexed, offended even, and Shikamaru was confident in himself enough to actually add: “As troublesome as it may be, maybe I am gay and I find this offensive.” </p><p> </p><p>And Shikamaru actually finds a certain freedom in this statement, because yeah, he isn’t straight per se, but he probably isn't gay, either - but saying this as lazy and matter-of-factly and laid back as he managed, he gave the idea of himself to his peers and it seemed to hit where he’d be aiming, because Kiba murmurs a silent: “Well… I’m… I’m sorry, then. I didn't… mean it like that.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru waves his hand like it’s not a big deal, and rejoins the original issue here: “But back to the point, you could hold hands with other people, too. Like your parents, for example.” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba wants to oppose, but yeah, it’s not that long ago he still held his sister’s hand at night when he was scared. So he barks a laugh: “Yeah, but like, parents, when you are a child! Not now, when we are basically adults now!” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you are lucky to have parents,” Shikamaru reminds him, because he knows Kiba - and everyone here, really - is talking about Naruto without talking about Naruto. “Or a sister. ...Or a friend, for that matter.” </p><p> </p><p>There is silence after this, and Shikamaru can see that their ex-classmates finally understand what this is all about. Understand how delicate and important this issue is. But also understand that they have to chose now whether to try and go against Shukamaru, the genius, the wiseman, the strategist, the good guy - and say one more bad thing about Naruto, or actually accept their wrongs and move on (and apologize to the kid). </p><p> </p><p>“Well, Naruto has friends, so,” Kiba shrugs, always the slow one. </p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. Naruto worked really hard to have friends now, so when he wants, he can hold their hand,” Shikamaru explains, like it isn't obvious - for mostly Kiba and Ino to understand, always the egoists. “If he’s comfortable.” </p><p> </p><p>He can't help but look Sasuke in the eye and while the boy has his hands before his lower half of face, Shikamaru can see he is wearing a victorious smile. When he catches Shikamaru’s gaze, he slightly nods his way and the genius knows this was a gesture of not only a “you are right”, but also for a “thank you”, which was nearly impossible, in Shikamaru’s opinion. </p><p> </p><p>Kiba seems to think for a while, but then he shrugs and says: “Well, he can hold my hand too, then. I mean, we are friends, so.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn't that be gay…?” Shikamaru gets snarky in his confidence just because he can. </p><p> </p><p>It’s interesting, Sasuke observes, how Shikamaru quickly became the heart of their generation, when it comes to smarts. They just do what Shikamaru tells then (and yes, Sasuke is happy Shikamaru is on their side) and seem to take his advice rather than anyone’s. Who would guess, that the bored, lazy kid would possess such power over their generation’s opinions. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, no,” Kiba says. “We are friends so…” </p><p> </p><p>“How would you know…? Naruto might be gay, too, for all that you know,” Shikamaru teases him. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, he can be,” Kiba allows after a pause. “Well, not with me. But he can be. Or you. It’s cool, I think. I don't mind.” </p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah, he’s not evil, Sasuke concludes, he’s just a simple <em> himbo </em>. </p><p> </p><p>And Kiba’s pretending to be so nonchalant about it, like it’s not a big deal, but he still sports a blush when Naruto enters the room with Sakura, both laughing and obviously sharing a good time together. The entire room goes silent and Naruto does, too, when he realizes they all stare at him. And for a while, it reminds him of the old times; the adults staring at him with hate in his eyes and he wants tu run, he wants to <em> run </em> and <em> hide </em> and <em> cry </em> and scream, because why do they <em> hate </em>him so mu-!?!</p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke is right up, just about to jump in, cover Naruto with his own body, hide him in his arms and leave Shikamaru to deal with all the idiots hurting his boy, but right in the moment it looks like Naruto breaks down and Sasuke murders everyone, of course the Himbo saved the day.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, Naruto,” Kiba laughs, a bit forced, but sincere about this offer nonetheless. “Wanna come with Akamaru and I to our compound to take a look at puppies? We just had a new litter.” </p><p> </p><p>“O-oh, really?” Naruto straightens his back, the momentary panic attack gone. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke sits right back and hopes noone saw him, but after a second he realizes this is just dumb. He finds Naruto’s gaze and motions for him to join him, be close to him, be <em> public </em>about their friendship. Naruto does of course go, but he keeps his eyes at Kiba. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Kiba seems all confident now, because trust himbo to always be a himbo. He even gets up and comes closer, Akamaru left on the chair next to Hinata. And then, because he’s a fucking oblivious, simple and friendly himbo, offers nonchalantly: “And you can hold my hand too, just so you know.” </p><p> </p><p>And if Naruto was confused at the sudden friendliness from people who never really talked to him, opted to play with someone else and telling him “we can't play with you, because our parents told us not to”, he just looks to his left (Sasuke), and asks a silent, “I… I don't-  what’s the protocol here?” </p><p> </p><p><em> That </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s no protocol here,” <em> -love </em>, Sasuke ads in his head. “Kiba here is offering a friendly time together.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Shikamaru feels it, too - the strong need to just wrap his hands around Naruto’s body, keep him close, give him all the attention, explain things to him, guard him, guide him. He sees the way Sasuke gently touches Naruto’s side, how close he stands, how slow and simple he speaks for no future misunderstandings. He makes himself clear and simple, talks to the boy, explains things to him without making him feel inappropriate, ridiculed or sounding like an idiot. Shikamaru can feel the pang of jealousy in his stomach, and he feels the strong need to pat Naruto on his head, offer his hand and hold his, spending time together, maybe teach him a thing or two. </p><p> </p><p>Apologize for never being strong enough to become closer sooner. </p><p> </p><p>“Like… like a bonding time?” Naruto asks, silent and uncertain, still obviously addressing only Sasuke. .</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking more of a play date,” Sasuke opts and Sakura giggles, because yeah, she had something similar in her mind. “But yes, you could call it a bonding time, sure.” </p><p> </p><p>It’s strange like everyone stayed away from this conversation. Like it’s obvious this is just between Sasuke and Naruto, that Naruto is at loss and needs help, guidance. And Shikamaru’s need to become a part of this, to explain, to help him orientate himself, to assure him and give instructions for Naruto to feel safe, within boundaries and comfortable, is growing every second, every word Naruto (or Sasuke, for that matter) speak. </p><p> </p><p>“Like… like we have?” Naruto all but whispers and suddenly Shikamaru feels inappropriate here. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone does now, that Naruto mentioned the two of them being close. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke answers a bit loudly, maybe to let everyone know they aren't… <em> intimate, inappropriate </em> , because they aren't dating <em> (yet) </em>, they are just friends. For now, at least. “Maybe not as strong, and probably not based on the same social agreement exactly as we have, but yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Like… like making friends,” Naruto makes sure. simplifies the issue. </p><p> </p><p>He probably became really good, because Sasuke hums contently.</p><p> </p><p>“I think Kiba stated you are friends, you are just… maintaining it, I think,” Sasuke explains. </p><p> </p><p>And by now, everyone understands just as badly Naruto was hurting. What a number was done to him. How this is all just fucking wrong - and everyone wants to fix it. Each and everyone of them would try in their own way. </p><p> </p><p>(He swears he can hear Ino whispering to Hinata that Naruto is actually really cute.) </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't know you had to maintain a friendship,” Naruto murmurs. </p><p> </p><p>That shook their former class like nothing else could, because everyone were aware how bad things were with their comrade. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you do. You keep on seeing your friends, talking to them, keeping in touch, yeah?” Sasuke reminds him. “you make memories with them, see and do things with them, and all that brings you closer, because eventually you'll share something. A past, a story, a moment. And when you keep the people in your mind and they keep you in theirs, that’s.. that’s how you can tell you have friends.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Naruto takes a few seconds. “So… so what does this mean? This… this, them… looking at me and… and acknowledging me?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks up to find Shikamaru’s eyes, as if to say: See? See what <em> they </em>did to him? And Shikamaru sees. They all see it now. They all see it and want to fix it, because this, what they'd just witnessed, was just fuckign wrong. And even the himbo can feel it. </p><p> </p><p>“It just means we stopped listening to our parents, Naruto,” Sakura joins the conversation explains, gentle. “We are… we are sorry we didn't play with you when we were younger, because our parents were telling us not to. And we opted… we opted not to listen to everything they tell us, because they are not right in everything.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru looks Sasuke in the eye. They are standing closer to each other now, and Sasuke doesn't look opposed to becoming friends with him now.<em> This is taking an interesting turn, </em>Shikamaru notes, as he sees Choji approaching close and offering his chips to Naruto as a silent dice. And Naruto chuckles and takes one, as to tell him, yeah, okay. Cool. </p><p> </p><p>“I-... I don't… I don't want you to talk to me and be friends with me just because… you know,” Naruto murmurs after a while to the former class. </p><p> </p><p>“We are not,” Ino smiles at him. “But Forehead here is right, you know. We shouldn't have listened to everything they said. So. Feel free to acknowledge us as friends, if you feel comfortable, because we really want to get to know you, and what you are about. I, for example, really wanna know… is Kakashi really reading porn when he trains you?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto snorts, but solemnly nods, looking at Sasuke, who visibly relaxes now, seeing things got better. He eyes Shikamaru and leaves the group of friends to let them chatter and smile and laugh and gossip as they like, and he himself goes back to sit down further from them, but keeps his eye on the blond. Shikamaru takes a second, considers staying close to Naruto just to make sure he’s okay, but he trusts Choji, and he trusts Sakura. Naruto’s fine. </p><p> </p><p>Instead, he joins the black haired prodigy. </p><p> </p><p>“Long time no see,” he offers, all lazy and cool, but he stays cautious. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke nods and lets his hands fall into his lap. “Thanks, you know. For… for earlier.” </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru leans into the chair. “Ino is a bit rude and Kiba is… well, he never meant wrong, he’s just. Well. You know, Kiba. You have to give him boundaries, otherwise he’ll get lost in his manliness and just forgets people have feelings. But he never meant wrong.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke knows that now, too. Obviously, especially how he calmed down and apologized when Shikamaru pointed out he himself can be gay - and there was noone Kiba respected more than the genius (aside of his family of course). Anyway, the pack (his friends) was important to him, too. </p><p> </p><p>“So… You know, huh,” Sasuke says after a while of watching the group interact. Even Shino is speaking. </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru looks at him, takes in his posture, his gaze always following the blond. “Him being  Namikaze? Or the fancying.” </p><p> </p><p>And it’s a matter of fact, really, the way Shikamaru says it. Sasuke can't keep the blush hidden, not on his porcelain skin, but Shikamaru doesn't address it - but maybe, just maybe, feels a tad bit jealous. There must have been a reason for Shiki to always look after Naruto from afar, after all. </p><p> </p><p>“Should I tell him?” Sasuke asks after a while and Shikamaru realizes - they are friends now. Not ex-classmates, not comrades, not shinobi in a team, not kith. They are <em> friends </em>, trust and loyalty and appreciation and all that. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wants Shikamaru to know he values his opinion, the genius realizes. </p><p> </p><p>“He knows, deep down, I think,” Shikamaru means. “He just didn't have… the time to process it, yet.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn't that… hurt him, betray him? I’m still… I’m still portraying us as friends,” Sasuke looks down, not having the balls to look Shikamaru in the eyes - and maybe that’s how Shikamaru knows Sasuke didn't tell anyone yet. Probably not even to himself, fully. </p><p> </p><p>“I hope not,” Shikamaru tells him. “But if it will, I’ll be there to help.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can't yet appreciate friendship (he’s got real trust issues, you see), but he understands these people are a good start for Naruto, for gaining confidence and a sense of self and the acknowledgement he’s looking for. Shikamaru shares this opinion, but secretly thinks it’s important to Sasuke, too, because of course he’s teaching Naruto and all that, but Naruto is oh so obviously teaching him things, too. He’s just doing it the <em> Naruto way, </em> to which even the smartass prodigy, is oblivious to. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Kiba, you think… you think Sasuke could go, too?” </p><p> </p><p>And you could literally see Sasuke going from porcelain white to alabaster white in a split second, and Shikamaru wants to laugh at him, but he actually feels the physical pain the Uchiha’s in when he’s forced to socialize. </p><p> </p><p>Kiba shrugs, not really offended, but also not really happy about the thought. “Well, yeah, I guess. ‘M not sure if he’d go, tho, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>Which was a good thing to say, <em> bravo, Kiba </em> , because that comment made Sasuke to give a slight nod to Naruto, just to let him know that sure, of course he’d go. Of course he’s gonna do everything for the blond; no matter how uncomfortable and plain <em> horrendous </em> is this entire experience gonna be. He knows Naruto will forget <em> everything </em> Sasuke taught him about not screaming and yelling when he sides with Kiba, and there’s gonna be <em> hairs </em> everywhere and dog smell and he <em> really </em> doesn't like dogs, but Naruto wants to go, and <em> of course </em> Sasuke’ll follow. </p><p> </p><p><em> Of </em> fucking <em> course.  </em></p><p> </p><p>The gang turns back to their chatter and Sasuke feels like he’s gonna die of both, embarrassment (in front of Shikamaru, because he knows his deal now) as well as from the sight of his nearest future: dogs and company and yelling and barking and all that. All the things he hates. But he’s still going, he’s still going tho. </p><p> </p><p>Shikamaru has the nerve to silently chuckle. “You are so whipped, man.” </p><p> </p><p><em> And yeah </em> , Sasuke, flushed to his chest, agrees. <em> Yeah, I </em>am. </p><p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. While jealous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wasn't jealous. </p><p> </p><p>It was just that… well. It’s, you see, there are… look, just…! It’s, ah. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wasn't jealous, mind you. There were just certain circumstances where he felt… a bit left out. Because Naruto was seen around the village much more now, because the other kids really liked him, and he had friends among shinobi - not just his generation, but also Kakashi, one of the bests, and of course the Godaime. And so yeah, even the adults started to treat Naruto like a human, a bit. But that wasn't what pissed Sasuke off. </p><p> </p><p>You see, Sasuke was Naruto’s favourite person. Yes, he knew about the hand holding with people, and he knew how Kakashi is trying really hard (maybe a bit too much) and of course he knows Naruto loves attention and public display of affection he gets mostly from Tsunade (she tends to kiss his forehead recently) and Kakashi (the man has got issues with hugging), but… Sasuke was <em> the </em>best friend. He was the only one whom Naruto talked to, really talked to. It was Sasuke who could hold him close. It was Sasuke who calmed his nerves, explained him things, gave him perspective, taught him the proper behaviour. Naruto knew this, and when they were alone, Naruto used this privilege to its full potential, which made Sasuke happier than he’d ever admit out loud. But when it came to being in public, Naruto was for some reason still… well. </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi!” Naruto exclaimed when he saw the man talking to few ANBU members outside the coffee shop, and run straight towards him.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke kept walking, not slowing down but not walking faster either. He couldn't care less about the ex-ANBU.</p><p> </p><p>The man didn't have to stop talking to be able to catch Naruto in his arms and hug him close. He finished the sentence and then turned his full attention to his student. “Hello, there.” </p><p> </p><p>ANBU were looking a tad disoriented and Kakashi kept the situation even messier, when he lifted Naruto up and sat him on his broad, muscular shoulders. Naruto giggled and that sound made Sasuke feel <em> things </em>, okay. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you are familiar with this little ball of energy that is Naruto, right?” he asked the masked ANBU lightly, like he was talking about the weather and not the hidden secret, guarded, and dangerous weapon the ANBU took the boy for, still. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” the ANBU answered, but were by no means as calm and relaxed as the copycat. </p><p> </p><p>“Say hi, Naruto,” Kakashi nudges his foot gently. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Naruto giggles again and puts both of his hands in Kakashi’s hair. </p><p> </p><p>“Please tell me you are not fixing me a ponytail,” Kakashi sighs as Naruto is fixing him a ponytail.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Naruto chuckles politely and fishes a bandage from his pocket Sakura gave him yesterday (because she had no pockets). </p><p> </p><p>“You see, I have a serious bussiness to do with my students,” Kakashi informs the squad, all bored and casual, with one hand securing Naruto’s calf, other one in his pocket, “I’ll catch with you guys later. Say bye, Naruto.” </p><p> </p><p>“Bye!” </p><p> </p><p>He turns away with giggling Naruto upon his shoulders to face Sasuke. Oh. He didn't expect him to be here, too. Usually Naruto comes to Kakashi alone for Sasuke obvious distaste in the jounin, but this time it seems Naruto and Sasuke were heading somewhere and run into Kakashi by pure coincidence. </p><p> </p><p>You see, Sasuke does dislike Kakashi, he really does. But he can't <em> not </em> see how close he’s getting to Naruto, and how much Naruto enjoys his attention. How much fun he has with the stoic, laid back man, when Naruto does things like a ridiculous ponytail in the middle of his head and Kakashi does  nothing but stoically accept his fate, because honestly (and he’s not ready to admit it to anyone, yet) he loves this side of Naruto, especially now, when the blond knows the difference between friendly and professional relationship and bends it on purpose, when he knows there are boundaries and strict rules for different kinds of relationship. Naruto now knows he can’t just yell and scream and demand, he knows he has to follow some rules and he knows how to behave in certain situations and all that, but he still found his way in Kakashi’s heart, because, oh, c’mon, <em> of course </em> he did. He is a tiny, adorable and slightly less lethal version of Minato, and Kakashi can’t just <em> not </em>love him. </p><p> </p><p>“Good morning to you too, Sasuke,” Kakashi offers, before he reaches up and Naruto thinks he’s gonna put him down or take the ponytail off, but he just fixes some hair that slipped into his visible eye. “Heading to the training ground?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke gives his “hn” and walks past Kakashi, which actually the jounin takes as an invitation. He sides with the genin and keeping one hand at Naruto’s leg, he actually tries to start a conversation. “What you have in mind ofr today's training?” </p><p> </p><p>“Patience,” Sasuke answers - short, but without any kind of emotion in his voice, even the negative ones. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi lets out a pained sound and Sasuke peripherally sees Naruto doing something even worse to his hair. He can't help but feel proud of the kid. </p><p> </p><p>“Some kind of me- <em> ow, Naruto! </em>- of meditation?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto giggles and while he tries to do something to Kakashi’s hair, he nearly fails off his shoulders, so Kakashi has to move really quickly to catch the giggling blond. </p><p> </p><p>“More of just patience, really. Just focusing on energy and using it in he right time. Naruto has a lot of chakra and I think that when released at the right time, he could be really -” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto nearly falls again while trying to add some leaves and twigs he takes from the trees they walk under to Kakashi’s hair, but the jounin is quite good with his perception of things, so he’s quick to catch the playing blond in his arms. As a thank you for <em> not letting him fall </em>gesture Kakashi receives a kick in a face and a giggly apology. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tries really hard not to laugh at the man. He really does. But he fails horribly when Kakashi puts the blond back onto his shoulders and Naruto kicks him in his face again, because Kakashi tickled his tummy. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi sighs, but silently chuckles, too. </p><p> </p><p>“You have in mind some chakra exchange,” he then recalls the conversation he succeeded to strike with the young Uchiha. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure it’s gonna work, but it’s worth a try,” Sasuke shrugs and tries to hide his smile behind his bangs. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm. You’re gonna need some strong sealing,” Kakashi straightens his posture (and catches Naruto’s hand, when he tries to sneak out under Kakashi’s chin to pull down his mask).</p><p> </p><p>“I have some scrolls in the compound here and we decided to give it a try.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi wants to offer his help, but in the exact moment Naruto yanks away his forehead protector and nearly pokes his sharingan eye out. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” Kakashi reaches behind his neck to hold the giggly kid in front of his eyes under his armpits. He actually wants to scold him a bit (not too hard, he’s too handsome to die this early, eyeing the already frowning Uchiha), but then his sharingan sees the kid, and he just… he just can't. Because even his sharingan recognizes the subtle similarity between Naruto’s and Minato’s chakra. Because Kakashi remembers how Obito was much too similar to the blond. How important Minato was to him (side his crush on the legend). And he just… he just lets his shoulders fall, rolls his eyes and holds Naruto close to him, hides him in his strong arms and lets him rest under his chin, just a second, maybe three. “Careful there, hn?” And puts the tiny ball of energy back onto his shoulders, defeated by his own memories and feelings. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't have the balls to look Sasuke in the eye, but Sasuke can tell now, that Kakashi <em> isn't </em>unaffected. He refused Kakashi’s apology to Naruto, because he should had know better, but then again, he himself was still a child when it all happened. And, of course Kakashi wasn't ready to not only face his own losses, but the child that got left in the world alone, too. So yeah, Sasuke isn't ready to forgive him yet, but he’s not… he’s not as mad at him anymore, either. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto actually calms down for a while, and Sasuke eyes him suspiciously, but when he sees Naruto’s just thinking, probably processing what had just happened, he lets it go. </p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking we could use your help,” Sasuke says to give Naruto time to think. “Since you were the student of Yondaime and all.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi gives him a look he hopes isn't as obviously hopeful as he felt it was, but probably failed. And in the end, he realizes, it’s the entire purpose of this, right? To show Sasuke he’s sorry, and he cares for Naruto nonetheless. “You know I’m always happy to help.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are always happy to be as far from the official building as possible so you could read your porn in peace,” Sasuke calls him out and Kakashi has the decency to at least pretend he’s exasperated. </p><p> </p><p>“I beg your pardon!” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto starts to tie the forehead protector around the ponytail but fails, so instead he fastens it under Kakashi’s chin. He looks like an old lady, with the gray hair and all, and Naruto tells him as much. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi sighs, but is actually amused enough, because yeah, that was certainly a giggle Sasuke just let out.</p><p> </p><p>(Kakashi never imagined himself as a parent, never thought he could ever become, but this? This was actually too nice to be truth. Even Sasuke was warming up to him, slightly.) </p><p> </p><p>And eve when he had to spend his day mostly with Sasuke showing off his skills with Naruto and the blond being way too close to him, he had to admit, this was the most fun he had in years - probably ever. So of course, when Sakura joined them few hours later (with <em> more </em> bandages, of multiple colours), Kakashi ended up with ponytails and was absolutely exhausted at the of the day not only from Naruto being the actual chakra tank he always suspected, but also for Naruto being <em> Naruto </em>around him, running around, not really focusing unless Kakashi specifically asked for Sasuke’s help. </p><p> </p><p>So all in all, Sasuke wasn't jealous. </p><p> </p><p>He wasn't, because Sasuke was happy Naruto listened to him <em> only </em> and took <em> his </em> advices and focused whenever <em> Sasuke </em> needed him to and actually let the boy have the last word and decide about things (even when the blond h <em> ad his snack for fuck’s sake </em> ), but it was Kakashi who received <em> all </em>of the attention from Naruto - the kind of attention Sasuke longed for himself. </p><p> </p><p>You see, it was Sasuke who helped Naruto, Sasuke who got to him, Sasuke who was bringing his confidence up, Sasuke ho spend the days shaping and guiding the ADHD idiot, and it was <em> Kakashi </em>who received most of the blond’s physical attention?! </p><p> </p><p>So no. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wasn't jealous. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto takes an advantage of Kakashi sitting down near the river, sneaks behind him and no matter Kakashi knew about him, he still jumps the man, trying to scare him. He fails of course, but Kakashi catches him before Naruto can jump on his shoulders and throws him over his head right over in a swift somersault assisted so well Naruto ends up on both legs, to which Kakashi said much too gently: “Safe landing, good job.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was <em> not </em>jealous! </p><p> </p><p>And so when Naruto tries another of his stunts to throw Kakashi off guard, Sasuke just doesn't let it happen, catches the blond’s collar and brings him right down onto his lap. </p><p> </p><p>“How about a break, hm,” Sasuke murmurs to him. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto grins at him, unsure about his seat, but when Sasuke calmly gives him some water, Naruto settles down and actually rests. For like, two minutes. Then he starts squirming around again. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi wants to laugh, because yes, he never considered himself becoming a parent for sure, but he definitely never considered becoming parent <em> with Sasuke </em>. Yet alone adopting a tiny ball of orange energy with him. Sasuke sighs and lets the fox drag him close to the river to try their technique once again. Kakashi stays where he is, because they are getting a grip on this on their own now, even Naruto seems to be confident about the sealing and chakra flow, which, now that Kakashi thinks about it… wow. Kakashi doesn't remember Naruto ever learning anything this quickly, especially ninjutsu. </p><p> </p><p>And, you see, Sasuke wasn't jealous, not really. But it would be nice if Naruto was paying him some attention, too. Because he isn't. Naruto needs other people and their attention and holding hands with them and being close to them, and Sasuke understands that. But still, when they are alone in Sasuke’s house again with Naruto all over him, touching him, leaning in, giggling and laughing and joking and talking just for Sasuke to witness, he’s the happiest. </p><p> </p><p>Well, he gets what he can, okay? And he can live with that. </p><p> </p><p>For now. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look who's jealous...!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Misunderstanding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You see, Naruto needs help. And Sasuke doesnt...?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>The thing with breaking the public rule is actually… really underwhelming. </p><p> </p><p>Because, when Sasuke told Naruto he can come to him for hugs anytime at all, he expected the kid to never let go. To jump him up and down, to hold him, grab his hand, dragging him places, talk his ear off, always touching, always -</p><p> </p><p>Look, Sasuke knows he’s not the centre of the universe, okay? He just expected - he just wanted, <em> gods </em> , he just…! Okay, he just expected Naruto to be a bit… well, public? About their friendship? Happy he can finally, you know, be <em> Naruto </em>about this what-is-personal-space thing he’s got going on? But, ever since the moment he told Naruto he’s withdrawing the public rule, the Namikaze heir did… well, as he does now. Maybe talks to Sasuke publicly, is comfortable when they are seen together, happy whenever they talk and walk, happy to see him outside mission or training. But otherwise… </p><p> </p><p>You see, with Kakashi? Naruto is all over him, at all moments (and Kakashi developed a strange thing over picking Naruto up, holding him above the surface, carrying him) be it on mission or in the man’s spare time. With Tsunade, they started these things where she’s working in the hokage office and Naruto stays there with her doing gods know what (it’s just Tsunade telling him about different kinds of missions, and about how the village actually works and about ANBU squads, but also about her personal life a bit), and with Iruka they maintained the dinners at different places all around Konoha (now that Naruto can pay for his own food finally, because Tsunade is a bit more lenient with money), and with Shikamaru they manage this late night/early morning strolls when they just sometimes hold hands and lie in the grass somewhere close to Konoha centre. Naruto is of course forming other friendships and becoming somehow close to all their ex classmates and all, but those people seem to matter to him the most and he is very open and <em> public </em>about their relationship. </p><p> </p><p>But with Sasuke…? </p><p> </p><p>Yes of course, Naruto walks by his side, talks to him and still spends most of his time with the Uchiha, but as far as physical contact goes… he’s got nearly nothing. Sometimes, when Sasuke grabs him by the collar and sits him down (usually onto his lap) during training, sometimes when Sasuke jabs him or pokes him for fun, sometimes when Naruto throws shortly a hand around his shoulder or touches his upper arm in conversation. But that's rarely happening, and rarely lasts longer than few seconds. </p><p> </p><p>And once again, Sasuke <em> isn’t jealous.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He’s just… it’d be nice if… if Naruto would-if he’d… if-not just- but like, only <em> maybe </em> and <em> sometimes </em> , not that Sasuke is <em> needy </em>like that, it’s not that, it’s just. </p><p> </p><p>...<em> ugh </em>. </p><p> </p><p>It’s been building for a while, this. This… this weird thing, where Naruto tries not to bring Sasuke out of his comfort zone for too much (scared he’d lose Sasuke’s trust and friendship) and Sasuke doesn't want to overwhelm Naruto and crowd him (scared Naruto will see the true feelings Sasuke holds towards him and runs away). </p><p> </p><p>(Which, honestly, is a really dumb thing to withdraw a conversation about. You see, of course they both have issues, they both are fucked up and not okay and traumatized and have deep trust issues and all that, but, oh boys, for fuck’s sake, <em> talk it out?! </em>)</p><p> </p><p>And maybe that’s the reason they tend to be… well. Like right now. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto was in his apartment torturing himself with “I can't go to him because we saw each other few hours ago and I can't just drop by his place saying <em> I miss you please let me stay with you for awhile longer </em> ” because, <em> duh </em>, that would be lame, too needy, and inappropriate. Sasuke was a very private person and Naruto understood he needed his time alone. To process things, have his quiet to meditate, do other things, see other people without Naruto constantly by his side. And Naruto gets it, he really does. But that doesn't mean he doesn't miss the raven haired boy (and he’s starting to miss him way too much - in weird ways, really - like his constant “hn” Sasuke carries most of his conversations with other people (Naruto is getting a grip on it and he could publish a dictionary on it by now), like his bickering about, well, nearly everything, his smart and snarky comments, his almost-not-there-but-it-is-if-you-look-closely-and-have-wild-enough-imagination smile, his warm breath on his skin when they hug, his onyx eyes always looking out for him) constantly, especially when they are in public and Naruto can't interact with him exactly like he wished. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto even tried to awake some kind of <em> jealousy </em> in him, put an effort into spending time with other people - with Sasuke there, too, to see it, witness it - so Sasuke would see what is he missing out, because, well, just a word and Naruto would be all around <em> him </em> , holding <em> his </em> hand, letting <em> him </em> carry him, feeding <em> him </em>bits of the bento Sasuke fixes for them on training days… but Naruto can’t. Not until Sasuke himself shows interest in exactly this kind of behaviour.</p><p> </p><p>(Kinda stupid, isn't it? That Sasuke is dying to do exactly that, but isn't gonna voice it because Naruto might think it’s a bit too close, a bit too needy - and of course, a bit too obsessive for a normal, healthy friendship?) </p><p> </p><p>(Like, did Naruto even ever <em> ask </em> for a normal, healthy friendship?! Hell no! He wanted Sasuke, and wanted him all the time - with his bickering and cursing, with his moody emo phases, and his fucking tomatoes growing on Naruto’s balcony, and his fucking wires all around his place, and with the kunai’s somewhere between the dining table and bed, and he wants Sasuke’s boring books in his shelf and his weird obsession with his father’s katana he found few weeks back. He wants <em> all </em>of Sasuke, good and bad, as a constant presence in his life, because, lets face it, the two of them could never, ever in a billion years and another universe have a normal, healthy friendship.) </p><p> </p><p>(And, seriously, who the fuck even <em> wants </em>a normal, healthy friendship when you can have mutual slow burn adorable pinning with side angst for at least another ten chapters?!) </p><p> </p><p>(...has the author ever heard of the fourth wall, self-indulgence, and not using <em> way too many fucking brackets </em>?!?)</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, where were we? </p><p> </p><p>Oh yes, the mutual pining, unhealthy relationships and Naruto going to do something really, <em> really </em>impulsive. But the second he wanted to leave his apartment to find his best friend, Sasuke was already standing on his balcony. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Naruto breathed out, suprised but pleased. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke offers a smile. “Busy?” </p><p> </p><p>“No, not at all. Was just… thinking about dropping by at yours,” Naruto chuckles. </p><p> </p><p>“Why didn't you sooner?” Sasuke asks like he really wants to know the real answer, so Naruto decides not to lie. He’s weird enough to do so, and hopes Sasuke would understand without being creeped out too much. </p><p> </p><p>“Felt like I would… bother you,” Naruto shrugs. “Like… figured you got better things to do than to constantly… you know. Keep me around.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got nothing better to do than to constantly keep you around,” Sasuke tells him, honest and a bit embarrassed, but that's just like he tends to be with Naruto when he’s honest about his feelings. </p><p> </p><p>(He's getting better at it. Shikamaru told him so.) </p><p> </p><p>Naruto actually stops himself, because yeah - he has to think about this sentence, and what exactly it implied. </p><p> </p><p>“Don't think about it too hard,” Sasuke bickers lightly. “Tsunade is out of town, so I’d rather not to have you injured.” </p><p> </p><p>“Haha,” Naruto rolls his eyes, but comes closer to his friend. “You staying in, or we heading out?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke came here for a reason, after all. He’s not one to just make impulsive decisions, at least he thinks of himself better. (He is. Impulsive, that is.) “I was… thinking about how… well. Can… um, can I ask you a question?” </p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Naruto tries to stay calm, but he sees Sasuke growing nervous and that brings slight anxiety to his own mind. </p><p> </p><p>“Few weeks back I told you I withdraw the public rule, remember?” </p><p> </p><p><em> Oh no. Oh no, no, here it comes, </em> Naruto panics. <em> He doesn't want to be friends anymore, he wants the public rule back, because I was too needy, too demanding. I didn't give him enough space and he’s feeling crowded and forced, and now I’m all alone again and he leaves with his help and touches and words and praise and lessons and hugs and all that and I’ll stay here, alone, lonely, abandoned by yet another person.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Y-yeah, I-I, look, that’s okay, I can-I can do better, okay? I pro-promise-!” </p><p> </p><p>His stuttering and slight panics immediately stops when Sasuke interrupts him with: “Then why do you still ignore me in public?” </p><p> </p><p>Whoops, there it is. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto just blinks at him with a blank face. “You- you have a feeling I’m ignoring you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well… I mean, not like, ignore me per se, you just… you see, I was… I was with you from the start and you just seem to prefer everyone else above me when it comes to interaction. You have dinners with Iruka and hugs with Kakashi and you have your night strolls with Shiki and you spend afternoons in the Godaime’s office and you hold hands with everyone but-... well, but <em> me </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Dead silence. </p><p> </p><p>“You-” Naruto has to swallow the rough edges in his throat, afraid he’s gonna cry from relief. “You think I don't pay enough attention to you in public.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it sounds really weird when you put it like that but I guess… you are not wrong. I just… from where I’m looking at it seems like you… you don't need me anymore and you prefer other people so I was just… I just wanna know if you still… if we still are friends or I should just step back and sto-!”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke never got to finish the sentence, because suddenly he had a orange ball of sobbing/giggling mess in his arms, both hands holding him <em> close close close </em>around his waist, and his head right in the nape of Sasuke’s neck. </p><p> </p><p>“I was<em> so scared </em> I’m pushing you into it, already being too touchy-feely with you in public,” Naruto whispers and Sasuke rolls his eyes at the both of them, inappropriately happy. </p><p> </p><p>“No, you aren't… you aren't pushing me into anything,” and Sasuke actually blushes when he imagines the kind of pushing he’d like Naruto to do. “I just… I guess we gotta work on our communication.” </p><p> </p><p>“I thought we were really good at that actually,” Naruto murmurs, holding him tighter. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, we’ve obviously got issues. So tell me, why were you scared to be too pushy?” Sasuke knows the answer, he knows why, he just - okay, he just wants some nice things too, okay? Wants some warm words and hugging and all that, okay?! <em> Sue </em>him. </p><p> </p><p>“I was just… I don't wanna lose you because I’m asking too much.” </p><p> </p><p>And it actually sounds so raw and kind of relieved Sasuke <em> can't </em>. He’s just… he never knew maintaining friendship with this idiot is going to turn him into a woozy jello. But it’s so good to hear this, to make sure Naruto feels for him too, is scared to lose him, too. </p><p> </p><p>“And you? Why you though I don't… I don't need you anymore?” </p><p> </p><p>“Because I think you don't really need me anymore,” Sasuke shrugs and it’s the truth - Naruto is already good on his own and he’s got people who understand and are happy to help him, so… yeah, but he’s just pushing the inevitable touchy-feely moment away for a bit. “You are… I think you don't. Because you know how to deal with yourself and other people now.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't… think so, but even if,” Naruto disagrees, “Even if I was, I still… maybe I don't <em> need </em> you, but I still <em> want </em>you. I want you to stay like this with you, Sasuke. Even if I don't need you, or won’t need you in the future. I never wanna lose you, anything of what we have. Anything at all.” </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, Sasuke gives in those feelings he has for Naruto, for just a moment he lets himself loose and he rufles Naruto hair to hold him at the back of his neck, and at his lower back, just like usual, and Naruto all but curls into the hug. </p><p> </p><p>“I was scared you are getting all of your hugs and attention and praise from everyone around and you just… don't want us to be like that anymore, is all,” Sasuke tells him, just to make sure Naruto understands. </p><p> </p><p>“I was so sure you are already full of this. I felt like I’m consuming all of your time and attention, and I know you need some time alone and you need the space for yourself and all that and I was scared I’m not giving you enough fo that. Throwing… you out of your balance or something.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles and drags his hand up and down Naruto back, who clearly relaxes into the caressing. “You are throwing me out of balance. But it’s… in a good way. I… I like it. I like how you are breaking this hate and fate thing, you know? Like my… I have a feeling now I never had, like there’s… like there’s life for me, you know? Like I’m… not just an avenger, not just  burdened with my clan’s hate and all but also… I’m human? Too? I think?” </p><p> </p><p>“You are the best human I know,” Naruto ensures and cuddles his face to Sasuke’s. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles secretly into Naruto’s neck and lays his head on his shoulder for a while. </p><p> </p><p>“I really like when you do this,” Naruto wrispers. </p><p> </p><p>“Hn?”</p><p> </p><p>“This,” Naruto brushes his cheek against Sasuke’s. “When you lay your head on my shoulder. I feel like you… like you really trust me, and like you really enjoy being this close to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“I do enjoy being this close to you,” Sasuke murmurs, content. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles and tries to hold his friend closer, his lips ghosting over the nape of Sasuke’s neck and Sasuke feels so warm and fuzzy and nice and safe and comfortable and oh, wow, okay, no, fuck no, abort mission, <em> abort mission! </em> </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stiffens (and fucken scolds himself for such an <em> suggestive </em>expression) and slowly takes half a step away from Naruto to make sure his friend can't feel the physical outcome of Sasuke’s comfort because that would be just humiliating. And confusing for Naruto.So yeah, better off to just withdraw. </p><p> </p><p>“Can you do that thing, you know?” Naruto asks him. </p><p> </p><p>“W-what thing,” and he’s whispering, because the arousal in his voice would do no good. </p><p> </p><p>“That thing you do. With… like, caressing my back?” Naruto explains and yeah, Sasuke is definitely hard in his pants now, because, Naruto asking for physical attention? That's way too close to his personal kink. </p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Sasuke purrs and tries to sound as genuine and unaffected as an aroused, touchstarved, <em> needy </em>teenager could. He slowly caresses Naruto’s back from loins to the back of his neck and back down, slow, tender, steady and sure in himself, like he always does, and Naruto closes his eyes and sighs. </p><p> </p><p>“This is the best thing in the world,” Naruto whispers to his skin. “Being this close to you and holding you.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shut up, Naruto, okay, shut the fuck up. Just. Be silent. This, you saying these words, aren't helping with my problem at all.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I wanna stay right here forever,” Naruto mumbles. “I-I’m sorry, is it… is it appropriate? Should I not… I… I told you I really wanna… It really makes me feel things, this… you, holding me close and touching me and caressing me and… I know it probably is inappropriate and-!” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… ehm,” Sasuke clears his throat and caresses his back one more time. “It’s not. It’s… okay, we established this is okay. I know it makes you feel things. That’s good.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto doesn't say anything further, but slips his hands around Sasuke’s neck to hold on as close as physically possible, while Sasuke tries to dodge the lower half of their bodies being slothed together. He succeeded, but at the last second. Sasuke feels his hard dick give a frustrated twitch, because Sasuke himself nearly moans at the possibility this position brings. </p><p> </p><p>Be the situation different, if Naruto knew about Sasuke’s feelings and would consent to physical intimacy on dating level, Sasuke’d do anything to get some dry humping and heavy kissing out of this situation, but imagining this only brings another moan at the edge of his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so glad I have you, Sasuke,” Naruto whispers and Sasuke closes his eyes forcefully, trying to <em> pray his boner away. </em> “Thank you for being here. Thank you for… for being, really.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m happy I have you, too,” Sasuke finds himself saying, feeling as vulnerable as Naruto probably is, but it’s different for him, always has been. And while Naruto finds a bit of comfort of letting go, letting someone else take care of him (he never had anyone to do that for him), Sasuke finds it still… well, way too embarrassing, to feel like this, to admit it out loud. But Naruto, with his heart on a sleeve and bright eyes and innocent soul… he can’t just let this vulnerability one sided. That's hardly fair. “And… you are not alone in this, I… I feel those things too. Grateful you are… here for me, too. For these hugs and the… words you have for me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you like me saying all that?” Naruto asks, all innocent and clueless for <em> fuck’s </em> sake, and Sasuke wants to jump out of his skin, kiss Naruto hard, stab himself with a fork, anything. Fucking <em> anything </em> to vent his emotions by action, just like he had since <em> that night </em>, and probably even before. You have feelings? Weak. More pain. Feel pain? Good. Feel pain and getting emotions over it? More pain, then. No more feelings? Good, now you can focus on the pain again. </p><p> </p><p>That has been his life. Always, since he remembers. There were moments his… Itachi tried to… tried to hold Sasuke back, tried to… but, Sasuke was a shinobi after all. And now? </p><p> </p><p>“I feel human,” Sasuke repeats. “I feel… I feel you, I can focus on you, on us, on future. I like you reminding me I’m not an emotionless <em> thing </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto noses in Sasuke’s jaw, making an utterly submissive <em> whine-like </em> sound Sasuke wants to kiss and grind and lick away from him. Or punch himself to level his sanity. Or both, for that matter. </p><p> </p><p>“You are perfectly human, Sasuke. Better than any I know. You are so good to me, so good <em> with </em>me, and I can't probably express how much you mean to me, not in words, not in action. I wish I knew how to give you more. I’ll do anything you ask me to, anything you ever want me to. I wish we could stay like this forever, just holding each other. Close, and alone, and the two of us, and your heartbeat, and your smell and your warmth. I know it all sounds… all kinds of weird and probably inappropriate and I can't tell you any of this in public, ever, but I need you to know you mean the world to me.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke opens his eyes and blinks few times, making sure the tears pooling in his eyes won't fall down, because that would be just humiliating. Crying with happiness, really, Uchiha? Who the fuck does that?! </p><p> </p><p>“I… I really like you talking all openly, like you don't care how it sounds, you just…” Sasuke whispers, failing at keeping his eyes dry. “Want me to know how much… I mean to you. And you just say it, without a second thought.” </p><p> </p><p>“I never have second thoughts when I’m with you,” Naruto says, his tone gentle, kind, silent. </p><p> </p><p>And while Sasuke was reluctant to let this crush be more than it is, he can't play pretend anymore. Not now. So yeah, here it is; he’s in love with Naruto. High over heels, balls deep in love with the blond. And there’s nothing he can do about that but me a fucking <em> crying </em> , <em> rock hard in his pants </em>mess about it. And there it is, feelings, emotions, happiness. He feels believed in, trusted to, he feels important and vulnerable and like his life actually matters. He feels all the love he never had, all the feelings of kind and important bond he had for noone, ever. That, and being so obviously in love with the person just had this effect on him. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Sasuke tries to form a sentence without letting the blond know he’s crying, but his voice breaks and Sasuke hides his face as deep in Naruto’s neck as he can and cries for quite few minutes and while Naruto doesn't exactly understand why is Sasuke crying, he never lets go off him. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, Sasuke,” Naruto murmurs while the older boy shakes with sobs, so Naruto holds him by his back, under his shoulder blades and around his shoulders, slowly caressing him in steady motion as if to bring peace. “You are okay, I’m right here. Shh, shh, just breathe, let it out. I’m with you here, and we’ll be fine in the end. C’mon, easy, don't forget to breathe. That’s it. Good, all good now. You’ll feel better after, I promise. Cry it out, I’m sure you need it, just get those emotions through. You’ll be okay, I’ll make sure of it. Breathe in, Sasuke, shh, shh. Just like that. It’s alright, you can cry as much as you want, I’ll always be here for you.”</p><p> </p><p> Naruto never lets go, not even when the sobs calms down enough for Sasuke to say, “I’m… I’m sorry, I just…” with the most embarrassed tone and expression and all, Naruto actually only smiles, contently. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke needed this, needed to let go. Maybe he’s starting to cope, after all. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologize,” Naruto whispers and gently ruffles his hair at the back of his head. “Never… never apologize for how you feel. It’s okay, I don't judge you, hm? It’s just you and I. I won't tell, and you don't feel embarrassed about it. I’m so glad you feel safe enough with me to let yourself feel. I take it as the biggest compliment you ever offered, because… well, I know for sure now that this friendship is definitely not one-sided now. That I’m able to give you something, too, teach you something, help you somehow, too.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is silent for a while, long enough Naruto considers the conversation done, so he reminds the emotionally drained Uchiha: “Last word.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke let’s go of his embrace and laughs, his eyes still red and slightly wet, as he agrees: “You are impossible, you know? How are - how are you even real? How are-, ah.” </p><p> </p><p>And Naruto just gently smiles, because he knows Sasuke’s all sorts of fucked up, it’s a pile after pile of walls and distrust and misunderstanding and misuse and manipulation and daddy issues and all that, but he’s… he’s cracking it. Slow, layer after layer, but Sasuke’s opening up to him, trusting him, believing in him.</p><p> </p><p>And yeah, maybe Naruto wasn't quite sure why was Sasuke crying - it could be easily something Naruto said that triggered some kind of memory, hidden, forgotten feeling, but it could easily be as much as crying because he could, you see, crying because afterwards, it does feel a bit better. And Sasuke seems to be good now, going as far as smiling - real and adorable and it makes Naruto so, so happy, he just holds out his hand out to Sasuke and waits for him to accept. </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke does, of course. Immediately. Without second thought. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto steps in closer and wipes Sasuke’s tear with his thumb. “How are you feeling?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tries to stop his smile but fails. “I’m… I’m fine I don't… ugh. I feel… I feel good, though, I… uh, wow, I didn't cry in years, I forgot… I forgot how it felt.” </p><p> </p><p>“How it felt?” Naruto asks careful and steady, testing his waters. If Sasuke doesn't want to talk about it, they won't. </p><p> </p><p>“...Relieving. Thanks for… for not panicking, and letting it happen, I… I think if you panicked, I’d panic, too,” Sasuke admits. “But you were so calm I just… you just held me and whispered all the right words and. Uh, yeah. I feel… I don't know, relieved of a weight I didn't even know I… was bearing, I think. But… still embarrassed, I think.” </p><p> </p><p>“No need, I told you, I’m happy you trust me enough for his. I can imagine that you feel vulnerable now, but that’s okay, I’m here. Aside of that, are you feeling better, lighter now?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks down on their joint hands. “Yes… yes, I am.”</p><p> </p><p>Naruto beams at the boy. “Then it was all good, right?” </p><p> </p><p>“I-I guess… yes. I just.. I don't know what was… I was just… It was really weird, because one second I was-” <em> hard </em>, “...uh, really happy I was close to you, then you were telling me how much I mean to you and I was… I was feeling the same, okay? All safe and understood to and happy I have you and comfortable and then I just… I don't know.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles at the boy. “You cried because you were happy, then.” </p><p> </p><p>“I guess so, yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, makes sense to me,” Naruto shrugs. “I mean. You went through some shit at life so… maybe you have no tears for sad things, you see? Maybe a block in you or something? But happy things? How many times n your life you were happy, Sasuke?” </p><p> </p><p>“Like I am with you?” Sasuke offers. “Never. Not… not ever, really. Maybe… I came close with… when I was… you know, when Itachi spared some time for me when… back then. I was… I was happy when he did. But… not even him, not anyone… came close to what I feel when I’m with you,” He’s red as a tomato, fuzzy feeling inside him bursting out, his hands shaking and eyes averting, but this is as close to truth as he’s willing to go now. </p><p> </p><p>“While I’m really glad you… you feel the same as I do about you, I… I can't just let it slip again, Sasuke… you mentioned Itachi again in a really short time again and. I know you probably don't wanna talk about it. But... I can see how much he meant to you and how obviously hard it is for you to… to cope with it yourself. I wish I could help. I wish I could be here for you. Like I said, I understand it’s hard to talk about,” Naruto repeats when he sees Sasuke’s expression. “I get it. I just… I wanna help. I want you to feel better. Safer.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s breath and heart and tears and emotions finally settled, and while he wished things would be a bit different now, he can't push the boy away. Not when regarding his past. Naruto proved himself not only to be amazing human being, but the only one who was able to crack his walls. He wanted to help Sasuke, wanted to be there for him. </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, he feels better now. He feels… he… well, he <em> feels </em>. </p><p> </p><p>And no matter how Dr. Evil might tell you otherwise, that is a good thing.</p><p> </p><p>(Sasuke can live with that, too.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Making up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>/.../ And it’s multiple things Sasuke found himself being full of, and actually done with, because now with Naruto by his side, he felt stronger, happier, but also sure of himself. Emotionally… weirdly enough… stable, well at least more than he was few weeks ago, and the closer Naruto is to him, the better the stability is - both in power and emotion. </p><p> </p><p>“I think…” Sasuke starts, holding his hand tighter. “I think… we can take an evening stroll, while I tell you what… what had happen that night?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stays still, frozen, looking Sasuke dead in the eye. “You-you, Sasuke, you don't have to - I didn't mean immediately, it was just - that you can, whenever you are ready, I don't want to force you-!” </p><p> </p><p>“You know better than anyone noone can force me into anything,” Sasuke interrupts him. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto frowns and tells him: “It’s considered rude to interrupt people while they are speaking.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke tilts his head back and barks out a laugh Naruto never heard heard him let out before: “You, Uzumaki Naruto, are a gift to this world.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto watches his friend with amused eyes, but gets the message. “So are you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke steps in closer and hugs his friend again. “I’m not sure I ever thanked you for not ditching my arrogant, prideful, pretentious ass a long time ago, so… thank you. Thank you for bearing with me, and helping me, and teaching me things, too. And also for this. For reminding me I’m human, and it’s okay to have feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto accepts his hug and sort of vain speech with a roll of his eye and tells his best friend: “Well, It’s not like I had any other choice, really. It’s just like you said, you could have been friends with anyone and chose me. Well, I am friends with everyone now, and I’m choosing you over them, always and forever, as well.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto lets go of their hug and Sasuke grabs his hand. Naruto notices. </p><p> </p><p>“The handholding really messed you up, didn't it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh you bet it did,” Sasuke agrees. “Okay, you hold hands with everyone, asked basically everyone around the village, nearly some complete strangers, but you didn't ask me?!” </p><p> </p><p>“I already told you, Sasuke, I already felt like I’m asking for too much, I wasn't to ask you this above all the shit I need your help with,” Naruto smiles and takes a step to the door. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke follows, obviously in a tad too happy mood. “Well, If you need me to put it bluntly, I’d rather you’d be yelling directly in my ear for two days straight than being afraid to hold my hand in public, okay? Like I said, there might be a situation I’ll ask you to let me go, or not touch me and when I do, please respect it. But when it happens, I need you to understand it’s not personal.” </p><p> </p><p>“You already told me once,” Naruto remembers. “That it could happen you’ll tell me not to touch you. Is there… is there something to… to know about that? Is there a reason for it?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke shrugs like it’s nothing, and Naruto really doesn't want to dwell on it, but it seems really important. Like another layer Sasuke has, another one Naruto has to slowly work through. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… well. I have… issues with strangers in my personal space. I was really young, I don't remember in detail what happened, but I was kidnapped as a child. Nothing major happened to me I think, Itachi… Itachi came for me, saved me and brought me back, but. Yeah, that… I think. It’s the most of it. Then… after that night it just got deeper I think. But sometimes when… I don't really know, I didn't pick up on a pattern yet. It happens sometimes, that I just can't be within people’s reach. I full on snapped on my mom once, and while I was barely four then, I could have hurt her badly with my katon if my brother didn't…” </p><p> </p><p>So that was the issue, Naruto concluded. About Itachi and all that. </p><p> </p><p>“So sometimes you can tell me you don't want to be touched, because of what happened,” Naruto repeats. “Okay. I can do that. And, if it’s not obvious, I’m sorry it had happened. I know it was probably due sharingan and clan and powerful family and main line and all, but still. You were a child and had no way of stopping adults from taking you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks him in the eye. “It’s… I… I know that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you?” Naruto asks, serious. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke twitches, but lowers his head and keeps silent for a while. The evening is warm and even when the sun is setting down, there are still people in the streets. Naruto tried to cover their hands when they approached one of the bigger streets, but Sasuke looked up at him, smiling quickly before he lets his face fall indifferent. Naruto knows him nowadays well enough to get the subtle nuances of his facial expresion and body language to tell what exactly is going on through him. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you are right,” Sasuke tells him after a while, holding his hand tighter. “Maybe I… maybe I was… blaming myself.” </p><p> </p><p>“I honestly think your parents should have… made sure you are okay,” Naruto tells him. “I mean, you obviously have some serious trauma of the kidnapping. So… did they help you? Talk to you about it?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke shrugs: “No, not really. Itachi was… he… My father never mentioned it after he made sure I’m not injured. My mother cried when my brother brought me back, I think. But no, they didn't… talk to me about it per se.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you… do you want to?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke shrugs. “Would it matter now?” </p><p> </p><p>“Would it to you?” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s dense, maybe too careful. But Sasuke understands he’s scared to hurt him. </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said. I don't really remember much. Just that they took me from the compound. I was supposed to be safe there. And yet, they took me.” </p><p> </p><p>“So you already didn't feel safe there when the night happened,” Naruto concludes. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke has to think for a while. “It never occured to me, but… yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Was it that you didn't trust your family?” Naruto asks, hesitant, but firm on the issue. </p><p> </p><p>“I think… I think you might be right. I knew I had to be stronger, I had to train harder to be respected, acknowledged by the rest of my clan, but mostly by my closest family - Itachi aside. He saved me, after all. Noticed I was gone first and went for me without… without waiting for my father’s order. He got actually… in trouble for that. He was supposed to tell my father first, wait for… you know, a plan or anything, and then… act as my father would say. But Itachi didn't. Told me… told me, after, that he’d always protect me. But… he…” </p><p> </p><p>And Naruto sees the conflict now. Itachi was the only one in Sasuke’s childhood providing safety and some emotional care for the kid. And then he… took it all with him, during that night. </p><p> </p><p>After a while of silent walking, hand in hand, ignoring everything and everyone around, Naruto knew he had to ask, because… well, he’s not the sharpest tool and all that, but well, he can't help it but see some… <em> issues </em>here. If Itachi loved his little brother so much to go against strict orders, why would he, less than a year after… He had to ask, really. It’s still silent, tho, the question. Slow, with multiple pauses for Sasuke to stop him, change the subject, interrupt him and just dismiss the entire idea. But he didn't, and let Naruto finish his thought. “Did… did you consider… have you ever considered that there might be… that after what happened, Itachi had his reasons to… to do what he did?” </p><p> </p><p>“I did, yes,” Sasuke agrees instantly. “But I don't… I just don't see… I don't see anything that would make sense to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“No issues with family members, clan members?” </p><p> </p><p>“I was too young to understand politics,” Sasuke shakes his head, embarrassed. </p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not your fault, that's okay - they’ve probably hidden it from you anyway, didn't tell you important things at that age. You were not even in the Academy yet. I’m just asking now, because you said there are a lot of scrolls in the compound, yes? Some of them secret. Some of them… some of them might hold some information on that. Like… like, you know, politics, or even some plans for the future.” </p><p> </p><p>“Itachi hated our father,” Sasuke remembers suddenly. “He never said it with words, but I could see it in his sharingan. And especially after he refused to enter an arranged marriage our father had for him scheduled. He never… he never said it, not really, but I could… I could see it. Now I can recognize things he told me I didn't understand then.” </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… the worst part of it all was… you see, it was one thing to find most of my clan dead. My parents and cousins and all, but Itachi used one of his techniques on me, showing me exactly how he slaughtered them all.” </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke…” Naruto doesn't know what to say. </p><p> </p><p>At all. Why would Itachi - why would <em> anyone </em> - but still, Itachi loved Sasuke, <em> loved him </em>, that much is obvious for how much he did for his younger brother. And Naruto can see now why is Sasuke so conflicted about his nii-san. Everything he did, he did for his little brother. Guarding him, being there for him, supporting him, teaching him. And then he turns into a monster within one night? This just doesn't make sense to Naruto. And probably not even to Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>“I was… I still… the memories aren't as clear in my mind since we became close,” Sasuke looks him in the eye briefly. “I used to have terrible nightmares of the night. With Itachi’s sharingan, with everyone dying and it being my fault somehow. But since we are close, I didn't… have that many bad dreams. I sleep better, I feel better. I don't see them dying everytime I close my eyes anymore. And… and I am happier. Lighter. Probably looking at things… with a perspective now.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smile sat him encouragingly, as for to continue, but Sasuke is done for now, probably lost in his own thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>“I… well, I’m not sure if my opinion counts, or I should keep it to myself,” Naruto honestly asks. </p><p> </p><p>“You… you never have to keep your opinions to yourself with me - with anyone you are close to,” Sasuke explains briefly. “And definitely not with me. C’mon, tell.” </p><p> </p><p>“I just… Itachi loved you, that much I can tell. You… you see, you don't go against the clan’s head orders just to spite him. And… and all he taught you, how much he cared about you, how much you told me. I don't… it just makes no sense. At all.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… there’s one more thing. I awakened my sharingan there briefly, but then lost it again when Itachi used one of his techniques on me. And I wasn't any good at chakra balance, either. But before he… disappeared and I lost consciousness, I was… I was sure I saw him crying,” Sasuke confides. “Afterwards, I just convinced myself I made it up, you know. He couldn't… not after what he showed me.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is silent for a while, taking it all in. Then, to show support, he slowly laces their fingers together, making their hold closer, stronger, more intimate. Sasuke doesn't move away, and after a while where Naruto thinks Sasuke is indifferent, Sasuke slowly squeezes his fingers. Naruto smiles. </p><p> </p><p>“I think there’s more to that,” Naruto says when they reach the park they used to train at as kids. “I think Itachi... had an ulterior motive. Or there was something… or someone… either full on using him, manipulating him, or threatening him.” </p><p> </p><p>“You don't threaten an Uchiha,” Sasuke chuckles. </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha? No, probably not,” Naruto agrees. “But Itachi, who loved you so much? I guess they could. After all, Itachi himself was what, our age, when it all happened?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't disagree, actually, he has to admit Naruto has some strong points. When he leaves out that night, Itachi never failed in protecting his little brother. Never once he made Sasuke think he didn't care or didn't want to spend time with the youngest Uchiha. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I don't know, maybe I’m just stupid and you are right Itachi is a monster and we’ll find him and kill him,” Naruto shrugs then, as to ensure Sasuke he’ll be on his side, whatever he decides. </p><p> </p><p>“...We?” Sasuke looks up, stopping in their stroll. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, yes…?” Naruto offers, bashful now. </p><p> </p><p>They look at each other, trying to read the other, predict their thoughts. Naruto fails first: “I… is everything okay?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… It’s my destiny,” Sasuke says, casual, not defensive. Good, Naruto observes. “Mine to go through.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course, you’ll be the one killing him,” Naruto agrees. “But there’s no way I’m letting you go to him alone, if you decide to go.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks him dead in the eye, serious, with hard look. “I don't need your help.” </p><p> </p><p>An there it is, just like if all their recently spent months together didn't happen. Like Naruto was still alone, like him and Sasuke were never friend, not really. Like all the opening up and layering down had never happened, never succeeded. Like Sasuke was back behind his walls, refusing to let anyone in - anyone, even Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>Uzumaki slowly lets go of his hand, sensing something’s really wrong now. “I-I know you don't. You never needed my help. I need yours, I need you to stay by my side. I need you, Sasuke, and I won't go with you because you need me, but because I wanna be there for you. Because… because it's gonna be important, and dangerous, and you’ll probably have to leave the village and I don't want you to go alone there and back again, with a dead body to drag back on your own.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke’s facade falls. Gone is the cold, hard look, gone is the defensive stance. His Sasuke, his gentle, layered down Sasuke is looking at him with something akin… well, love, if Naruto knew how that looks like and how to describe it. </p><p> </p><p>“You’d… you’d really go with me?” Sasuke asks, hesitant. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto loves how the entire of Sasuke facade of indifference, pretentiousness and rudeness falls whenever he speaks to Naruto. He made such a progress in this, and Naruto is so proud of him he decides to tell him. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course I will. And… I know you tell me quite a lot lately, but I never told you this, because well, I didn't realize till now. But I’m proud of you, you know. How are you… how are you learning to feel again. How you let go of the lone avenger plan, how you are trying to socialize and how you treat yourself like a human. I’m not sure if you ever did, but I’m happy you do now. And I’m proud of you for it, because it means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me, and I don't want to lose you to your inner demons. I can't imagine what I’d do then. Gone full on crazy and obsessed I think,” Naruto actually chuckles a bit and holds his hand to Sasuke again, who’s blushing slightly. </p><p> </p><p>“I… thank you for that,” Sasuke mumbles and accepts his hand. “I’m not sure… anyone ever told me they are…” </p><p> </p><p>“Proud of you?” Naruto finishes for him, when Sasuke doesn't seem to, obviously slightly bashful at the knowledge Naruto’s proud of him, too. “I am. I really am.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks up to offer him a smile and Naruto grins back. He’s got he best friend in the entire world. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s still unusual to see you blushing and shy,” Naruto choses to tell him next. “I know you for most of my life looking like you want to murder everyone in sight. And now I can just tell you I like it how you lay your head on my shoulder, and you don't tell me to fuck of, you just… look down, slightly blushing. You’ve got no idea how adorable you look.” </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, Sasuke does exactly that, ducks his head and he can feel the blush spreading along his cheeks. He knows he’s attractive, girls always tell him and boys always hate him for it. But hearing it from Naruto, especially lately, this has got an effect on him, okay? Well, he doesn't get hard at least. </p><p> </p><p>“Don't say things like that,” Sasuke tells him, still avoiding his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Why? Does it bother you?” Naruto asks and while Sasuke expected slightly teasing tone, Naruto is serious. </p><p> </p><p>“...No. It’s just. You see, all the girls always… you know, paid attention to me for my looks. Noone actually bothered to get to know me on friendly level - I’m not saying it’s easy to get to me, I know I’m basically a walking wall of distrust - but noone even tried.” </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't try, either,” Naruto reminds him. “You came to me.” </p><p> </p><p>“I came to you wit a fairly rude offer,” Sasuke corrects him. “I literally told you I don't want to be associated with an idiot.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I never tried to really reach to you, either,” Naruto shrugs. </p><p> </p><p>“You didn't know how to. That’s different.” </p><p> </p><p>And yeah, Sasuke has got a point. </p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to apologize for how I approached you. And that I made you cry that day. It was… really rude of me.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto shakes his head: “Well, maybe. But I was rude to you, too. We did some bad things to each other, but we came around and I think that’s… that's the important thing here.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are really good with words, by the way. And your speech. I can't even describe how much better you are in such a short time,” Sasuke smiles and sits down onto a child swing. Naruto steps closer behind him, holding his shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“So are you,” Naruto reminds him and yeah, he’s right. Sasuke is… much better now. Still an asshole if you don't know his deal, but not as much as he used to be. Well, not to Naruto and his closest friends at least. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto holds his shoulders and pushes, swinging the boy slightly. Sasuke turns his head to look at the younger boy: “Aren't we a bit old for this?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, have you ever felt like you had the right to be a child?” Naruto asks, pushing again. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks to the ground moving under him. “Well, no.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto pushes again and again, keeping the swing in motion, but not overdoing it. Sasuke appreciates the silence, and the child-like feeling he’s got from this. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you… hm. Would you help me look into the scrolls there might be in the compound?” Sasuke asks after a long while. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Naruto agrees easily, not surprised, like he was expecting Sasuke to ask this - and he probably was, Sasuke realized, when the next thing the blond says is: “I’m really proud of you for being able to ask for help. You’ve never done it before.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke resumes to his silence and he’s glad Naruto’s behind him, so he doesn't see the blush on Sasuke’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“You are blushing quite a lot, recently,” Naruto points out, knowing his friend so well he can tell how he feels without seeing him. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Sasuke tries, but there’s no fire in it. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto laughs: “Like I told you, I quite like making you blush.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke closes his eyes - he’s not gonna imagine the things he’d certainly blush if they ever happened. “Shut up.” </p><p> </p><p>“Out of witty remarks? You? I find it hard to believe,” Naruto teases and Sasuke jumps out of the swing, landing right next to Naruto, bringing him to the ground with one swift motion. Naruto actually laughs and puts both of his hands on Sasuke’s hips. “Really, attacking me for saying the truth?” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke actually goes as far as holding him under his neck in a threat to strangle him, but Naruto just laughs. “You can just admit you like it when I tell you how cute and adorable you are, or how much I’m proud of you. You can just admit you like praising words, there’s nothing wrong with it, you know. I like it too.” </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke lets go, moves as fast as the first time, sitting on the swing as if nothing happened. Naruto gets up and starts swinging him again, cocky smile playing on his lips. After a while of silence, Sasuke tells him: “I do like it. When you tell me these things.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto has to bite his lip, otherwise his smile might actually split his face in half. “See? Didn't hurt, did it?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke keeps silently sulking and Naruto has none of that. “Last word, Sasuke.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know how to deal with it, either. With… attention, praise, and all that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Blushing and being all coy and adorable is perfectly good to me,” Naruto informs him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not adorable,” Sasuke bites and Naruto silently giggles. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course not, you are the mighty Uchiha who kills with wit and walks coldly  away from explosion without looking back.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s face breaks in an actual, amused smile Naruto doesn't see, but he can feel it in his body language, posture. He can hear it from the tone Sasuke speaks after a while, too: “That, but while holding your hand.” </p><p> </p><p>And it's the first time ever they both laugh out loud together. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys, I'm leaving for a roadtrip to Croatia (I need some beach and sun and all that), shotgunning the whole 1100 Km.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Sasuke's forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just. Sasuke's got daddy issues, okay? And like, Kakashi knows. (I also love their bickering lets be honest.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>Naruto felt eternally grateful, because the convoy they were guarding n this mission ended up having a break at a small motel outside of town. They would spend the night and travel further another morning again. Naruto was all smiles and good mood, yapping on about how his training was going and asking about the village their clients were from. Everyone seemed to like him, just like always, and while Kakashi and Sasuke helped to take care of the wagons and the horses, Naruto was all over the place, yes, but something was different. He was loud, but not annoying, he was laughing but not yelling, he was friendly, but not too personal - and he was already stable in this behaviour. </p><p> </p><p>“So,” Kakashi started, when Sasuke took the black horse off, offering him some water near the stable next to the motel. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi was putting this conversation off about few months now, probably. There is a conversation about Naruto and Sasuke he should have with the latter of them - just in case. The issues here were obvious, and while Kakashi himself didn't think feelings among shinobi (especially in one team) were usually an issue, he had his own stance on this when it came to the avenger and the demon. There were a lot of reasons Hiruzen put them in one team, and there were a lot of reasons Kakashi had to take over the team containing them both. Kakashi never asked, and never was asked about it, either, but he knew well enough why he was called off of ANBU, when the son of his teacher graduated Academy. </p><p> </p><p>There is a conversation to be had and Sasuke is aware of the fact, too. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to make it easy for the Copynin. They never tried to talk about the relationship Naruto and Sasuke were forming, and while, at the beginning, they could have talked about friendship, Kakashi knew better, nowadays. Especially when there are feelings, now, involved. (Sasuke knew he was obvious by now, and he would care, probably, being the situation different - but for the object of his interest being Naruto, he couldn't care less about what people think. Especially their not-so-well-closeted bisexual teacher.) “What is it that’s going on between the two of you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi no gossip-girl, I’ve heard,” Sasuke, the private person as he was, snickers. </p><p> </p><p>“Watch it, kid,” Kakashi warns him lightheartedly. “I can still break both of your arms without really moving.” </p><p> </p><p>“Please,” Sasuke looks up, sharingan in both eyes. “You wouldn't even touch me.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi tilts his head to the side, taking a good look at the raven haired boy, then watching the blond kiddo for a while. “I’m your mentor, but I’m not good at giving advices about lovelife, really.” </p><p> </p><p>As said above - Sasuke knew he was obvious, mostly to everyone who knew him, but there was one thing being obvious, and another one being called out on it. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s face flushes -  and it’s got nothing to do with his affinity. “What the fuck, pervert.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, using strong words, now,” Kakashi smiles. “I was right, then.” </p><p> </p><p>“For fuck’s sake,” Sasuke murmurs, sparing the animal his reins. </p><p> </p><p>“All I’m saying, find someone whom you trust, and talk to them,” Kakashi shrugs. “I’m not stupid enough to get in between whatever game you're playing with him.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not playing any game!”</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi stops then, turning his head to Sasuke’s blushing, but determined face. He studies him for a while, takes him in: his sharingan eyes, high cheekbones, forming muscles on his arms, strong and lean figure - he knew about the attraction of course, towards the everyelling blond, but had no idea… “This deep, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke’s face becomes even redder, if possible. He takes in a breath as if to yell, and clenches his fists. Four, seven, ten. Breathes out, unclenches his fists and shakes his head: “Since when are you into yaoi.” </p><p> </p><p>It’s Kakashi’s turn to blush a light shade of pink. “That’s none of your fucking bussiness.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke ugly-smirks and throws back a “Using strong words now, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>“Fucking rude, this brat,” Kakashi mumbles under his breath (while Sasuke chuckles), but immediately remembers he is responsible for his students in this matter, too. “And just for your information, I never stated I was straight in the first place.” </p><p> </p><p>“Neither have I,” Sasuke points out, as to challenge Kakashi. </p><p> </p><p>The former ANBU falters, looks away and imagines, for a second, how would Obito behave in a situation like this. “Are you scared?” he asks, silent and sincere, question as it stands, with no undertone, no ulterior motive. </p><p> </p><p>“Of what?” Sasuke asks after a pause, tentative but hesitant. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi closes his eyes and remembers his sharingan. There is some kind of discordance in his face, that kind an emotionally stable person couldn't imagine wearing, and Sasuke understands Kakashi didn't ask for gossip purpose. His mood changes, and so does his view of Kakashi’s stance upon his feelings towards Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>“Loving him?” Sasuke ask, hitting the nail on the head. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi looks him deep in the sharingan eyes and realizes that yes, this might be the first time admitting it out loud, but he seems to be content, aware, and even getting <em> confident </em>about this fact. Kakashi doesn't nod, bud doesn't shake his head, either. </p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn't have stayed in the village, if I were,” Sasuke decides to answer honestly. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke remembers Kakashi’s sharingan, his “everyone I loved are already dead”, his sad and tired eyes, his well hidden anger, his loneliness and desperation. Kakashi knows loss, and he knows fear and obviously, he knows <em> love </em> , too. Sasuke’s not gonna lie, it’s not like he’s not curious. He <em> is </em> . He always wanted to ask about the sharingan, because - jealous and mad as he was, but he knew now - you don't give your sharingan to a <em> friend </em>.  </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't tell him, yet,” Sasuke goes on, seeing Kakashi wants to know, but doesn't want to ask. “I don't think he’s ready yet.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi eyes him warily, accepting that yes, Sasuke might be a pain in the ass, but he probably knows how to handle things much better than Kakashi did (while a bit older than him). </p><p> </p><p>“But I don't plan on repeating your mistakes,” Sasuke goes on. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got no idea what had happened -!” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh of course I do,” Sasuke interrupts him. “There is a whole lot of scrolls about you and Obito in the Uchiha compound library, you know. There just wasn't… a reason. But I think if my ancestors were not blind and <em>straight of</em> <em>stupid</em>, they might have figured it sooner than I did.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi has at least the decency to blush, being - for the first time in his life - called out on obviously falling in love with Obito before he could understand what exactly that meant.  “When did you-!”</p><p> </p><p>“Right now,” Sasuke shrugs, laying a hand on the horse, patting it on the side of its neck. “Encouraging my bond with Naruto, admitting you weren’t straight, hating the sharingan you bear,” Sasuke counts, “there’s only so many things you can hide from me, Kakashi.” </p><p> </p><p>There is silence neither of them find comfortable, and neither of them is able o break. Kakashi silently mourns over Obito, for the first time openly, with a witness. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I the first person who openly acknowledged...?” Sasuke asks and his tone is different now. If him and Kakashi were not on such bad terms, the heir would sound sympathetic, gentle - his tone now was just plain, sincere. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi doesn't answer and Sasuke doesn't need him to. He keeps a hand on the other horse of the pair, trying to make sense to both his and Sasuke’s story. </p><p> </p><p>“I was scared. Of the intensity. Of possible loss. And I was right, in the end.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke realizes that yes, there are things to be scared of. But he just doesn't let it happen, because he knows the fate that lies beneath him. “I think I’m already decided about my fate.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi was familiar about deciding about one’s fate. He himself was nearly ten years old when he decided his own. He can't say that decision made him lead a happy, fulfilled life. “That being...?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stalls, pretending to be taking care of another horse, but Kakashi knows he’ll come around to answer. He’s a prick, but an honest one. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not gonna be like you, Kakashi,” he says after a long while. “I’m not gonna suffer when then last person I care for dies.” </p><p> </p><p>“Bold of you to assume you’ll have the strength.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turns to look into his mentor’s eye, his eyes pitch black, raw and determined. “Bold of you to assume I’ll live without him.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“You have other responsibilities,” Kakashi reminds him oh high alert, but pretends he didn't lose his cool (he did tho). “You have rules to follow, missions to accomplish, duties to fulfill village to protect. You can't just leave with everyone else here waiting for you to come back.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke actually snorts. Kakashi doesn't recall him ever doing this kind of despectful sound.</p><p> </p><p>“Where were the rules when Naruto was suffering and I was left alone, then. What were the missions when one chuunin decided to kill the hated child, and the missions to help a prodigy cope with his entire family being slaughtered. What were the duties for ANBU or Hokage to catch a nukenin who murdered the Konoha’s lead clan, and to raise a Yondaime’s child. Where the fuck was the village, when a child with no parents was often hungry and the other contemplating suicide? Tell me, Kakashi, where was the village then?!” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't raise his voice, not even once - he speaks with certainty, with poison and anger, but he doesn't raise his voice. He’s furious, angry, venomous, bloodthirsty - but there’s just this much he can do. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi lets him finish, lets him have his tantrum, because this one is well deserved. Kakashi sees this, sees his reasons and his decisions, but doesn't agree. If he ever is to lose one more person he cares for, it will take everything he has to stay alive and go on. </p><p> </p><p>“I understand,” he decides to say, because… he does. He sees the wrongs, sees why is Sasuke so mad at the village. “I wish… I wish I could help. I wish you’d accept me in your life for I’d…I wish I could hold you now, tell you you didn't deserve it, the Hokage should have helped, adults should have known better. I should have known better.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can't help but blush. Naruto of course told him about the hugs he gets from Kakashi, told him how wonderfully it feels, how good it is to feel secured in his strong arms, letting his masculine smell overwhelm him, lull him into a feeling of absolute safety, like there’s nothing in the world could hurt him, harm him, scar him. Of course Naruto goes on how he loves Sasuke’s arms the most and all, but there’s something mature and comfortable in Kakashi’s hugs, and how Naruto imagines his father’s hugs would feel like. So of course now, that Kakashi mentioned Sasuke letting the man into his life… of course there is a tiny blush on Sasuke’s face, when he imagines he could (for the first time in his life, because his own father never hugged him, ever) feel what it is like to be enveloped in a hug provided by a strong, feared, adult man.</p><p> </p><p>And, you see, Naruto’s right in one thing - Sasuke never allows himself comfort. Never, not even now, not even in small things. He still needs Naruto to make that move for him. So now that Kakashi openly offers, Sasuke wanted to just rudely decline first, bark something about <em> of fucking course you can't </em> , but since Kakashi for the past months has done nothing but happily allow Naruto in his life, actively helping him, guiding him, listening to him, but also held him back when Naruto pushed himself too far, praised him and hugged him, too, he sees things from a different perspective, <em> Naruto’s </em>perspective; I won't make friends if I push everyone away. And being mad at everyone send me to bad place I don't wanna be at. </p><p> </p><p>But also this one, Naruto told him few days back: <em> I don't want to lose you to your inner demons. I don't know what I’d do then. Lost my mind, probably. </em> </p><p>
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</p><p>Kakashi senses Sasuke’s need to think everything through, so he doesn't expect immediate answer, instead he fishes an apple from his pack, splits it in half and gently offers half of it to the horse, sparing the other one for himself. Sasuke pretends he’s watching Naruto, but he actually eyes his teacher. Trying to guess what his deal in all of this is, how should he deal with the copy nin, what his answer to the “I wish you allowed me in your life” is going to be, once he makes up his mind. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, Kakashi thinks to himself, eyeing the Uchiha. Maybe this very moment, making Sasuke understand, and proving himself to him and devoting himself to love and protect Naruto, was the entire purpose of his life. Maybe Obito was right all along and there wasn't such a thing as star-crossed lovers. Maybe Obito was right and there was nothing more important than the two of them, at that time. Maybe Obito was right, and Kakashi should had stayed in the safety of their shared bed instead of running away, scared and full of regrets. Maybe Obito was right, and they’ll meet again, after Kakashi serves his purpose in this life, since Obito died happy, knowing he’s served his. Maybe Obito was right, and love was possible in the world of shinobi. </p><p>
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</p><p>Maybe Obito… was right.</p><p> </p><p>“I have way too many issues,” Sasuke offers after a long silence. “I’m not sure your time… will be worth it.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“It’s my time, Sasuke,” Kakashi caress he horse’s head in a slow motion like they are talking about the weather, not about the most important debate that determinants their relationship from now on. “And it’s up to me to decide about it’s worth.” </p><p> </p><p>And while Sasuke isn't sure about letting Kakashi into his life, trusting him, accepting his apology and letting him to lead and guard and provide certain safety and maybe comfort, too, Kakashi is happy like he never hoped he would, after losing Obito. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m more guarded than Naruto,” Sasuke warns him. “I won't be this easy to woo.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m more than aware of that, yes,” Kakashi finally turns around a bit too happy to hide, a bit too hopeful to pass it on as a common conversation between the two of them. “Where do I stand, then?” </p><p> </p><p>“You stand at the “I forgive you”,” Sasuke allows warily, sharingan in his eyes, “but please keep in mind I never forget.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi can't hide his happy smile even under his mask. “When Naruto forgave me few weeks back, I tricked him into a hug. With you, I’m not counting on tricking you for you might not kill me, but I’m sure you could seriously harm me. Therefore, I’m informing you beforehand I’m about to come closer and hug you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke blushes and backs away a step, but when Kakashi makes two more, Sasuke stays. There is… you see, he is touchstarved. He does want hugs. He wonders if it really feels as amazing as Naruto described - and Sasuke’s got serious daddy issues, of course he wants older, strong man to hug him - but that doesn't mean Kakashi has to be aware of that fact. (But he is, anyway.) </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi opens his arms way too slowly and even if Sasuke ducks away and in the last moment wants to chicken out, Kakashi proves himself faster and envelopes Sasuke in his arms. Lightly at first, just holds the small, lithe boy close to his body; still too young and tiny to actually dominate the hug. Sasuke is so out of his comfort zone, he just stays there like he is, no moving, in submissive position, just letting Kakashi hold him a bit too long, and a bit too close. Kakashi holds his body to his own shortly but firmly, slowly caresing his shoulder. The Uchiha kid is so shocked he can't even enjoy the hug, or get a proper grip of it. He just lets it happen, lets the man have a complete control over his body (something he hates at all scenarios), doesn't even blink, doesn't breathe. And then, when Sasuke finally breathes in (Kakashi’s muscular scent just like Naruto said) and finally moves to try and hug the copycat back, to get a feel of the muscled torso, Kakashi steps back and slowly lets go. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke nearly moans in frustration at the loss of the warm hug, strong, manly arms, mixture of deodorant and aftershave and sweat, but bites his lip and pretends he’s actually offended by Kakashi’s entire  <em> audacity </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“I know it’s just a start,” Kakashi tells him, all quiet and coy. “But thank you for this.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turns around so Kakashi doesn't see his blush - he had no idea he’s gonna be so affected…! Like yeah, he knew he's sensitive and hungry for hugs and touches and so desperate for… whatever, okay, he doesn't need to- it's not like he wants <em> Kakashi </em> like that…! It’s just - its just that Naruto was right and it feels so… it feels so <em> nice </em> , to have someone this strong to just hold you and keep you all warm and safe and fuzzy and comfortable and pleasant and good and- look, it’s not like Sasuke is - oh god, <em> no </em> , he wants <em> Naruto like that </em>, not the former ANBU…!!! </p><p> </p><p>It’s just. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke blushes even deeper and silently leaves without looking back, but there’s something in his posture that tells his teacher Sasuke is emotionally disturbed in a<em> good way. </em> </p><p> </p><p>So yeah. Kakashi can live with that.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. When fox meets Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I decided to throw in some action, only to see where the boys stand as shinobi. I also have a kink for SasuNarut combined techniques. Sorry not sory.<br/>Oh, and also, meet the kyuubi.</p>
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</p><p>Sasuke and Naruto were given a B-rank mission with Kakashi as their leader. And, no matter now much their relationship changed, for all three of them, Kakashi still read his porn on the way, and Sasuke and Naruto still bickered. </p><p> </p><p>“The raiton you’ve got going on is nothing towards rasengan, tho,” Naruto keeps saying. “Its stronger, way more complex, and also - the yondaime made it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe so,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. “But I took Kakashi’s Raikiri and transformed it into Chidori.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s absolutely the same thing, just with a fancy new name,” Naruto grouses and Kakashi can't help but soundlessly giggle at it. </p><p> </p><p>“That's not true!” Sasuke gets hot under the collar, like usual, when Naruto hits the right spot. “I am able to transform the entire technique into parts, I can do a full body Chidori, too! And then there is the entire thing combining it with your water tornado jutsu!” </p><p> </p><p>“Blah, blah,” Naruto waves his hand. “I’m sure Kakashi can do that, too. Right?” </p><p> </p><p>“Ah ah ah, what did I tell you about your husband’s quarrels," Kakashi reminds him. “I’m not here to take sides.” </p><p> </p><p>“But you are siding with me on this one, right?” Naruto asks, pulling Kakashi's hand. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi shoves the porn in his bag and holds out his hand for Naruto to hold. “I would be,” Kakashi starts and Naruto makes a face to his left, where Sasuke sides with them, “But Sasuke's right in one thing - the combo with you is nowhere near my skills. Although I’m not sure if it’s Sasuke’s skill with Chidori, or yours with your own chakra flow, Naruto.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure the combo works because it’s the two if us, you know,” Naruto says after a while, slightly playing with Kakashi’s fingers. “Anyway, can't wait to use it in combat!” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Sasuke agrees. “Me too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Kakashi looks up. “You might be getting your chance. We have a couple of hours to walk, then we duck and hide in position. There are two ANBU members who actually lead this mission, our job is just to make sure all those who escape the den we are supposed to clean, the two of you and I can cease them.” </p><p> </p><p>“...You mean kill them,” Sasuke slowly takes Naruto's other hand. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi looks down on them, his mask keeping his frowning face a secret. “It’s enough if you stop them. B-ranks aren't usually meant for kill. But yes, their lives will be ended during this mission. If you don't feel like killing them, you can just wait for the ANBU or me to take care of it.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto knows what this kind of life is about. About killing, sacrifices, heroes and dead bodies. A lot of them. He knows he should be ready for this, but… </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?”</p><p> </p><p>He looks Kakashi in the eye. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it. I don't expect you to kill our enemies today.” </p><p> </p><p>“What… what kind of enemies are those?” Sasuke asks instead. </p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever heard of Orochimaru?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke nods; yes, there are few scrolls he’s read about him. “A bit. Famous med-nin, famous nukenin, too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm, hm. There’s a high bounty on him, too. He’s the third of sannins of Konoha, well, used to be. When he went missing and started the village of Sound, he created a huge follow for himself,” Kakashi provides info. </p><p> </p><p>“And what did he do? Why did he leave the village?” Naruto asks, always the curious one. </p><p> </p><p>“He does experiments on people. Mostly on children. He… also has a thing for small boys, if you know what I mean,” Kakashi murmurs. </p><p> </p><p>“Ew,” Naruto frowns. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s a dangerous opponent, an S-ranked criminal - but we are not going after him today. Honestly, we are not even sure where exactly he is. Today, we are helping the ANBU to clean one of the dens where Orochimaru stores his unsuccessful attempts of mutating people. He’s got an obsession with prolonging his life, but he’s been hidden well for many years now. We are not even sure about this intentions now, or if he succeeded in his mission of living forever. That being told - he’s very dangerous, kids. If you ever stake him as an opponent in open attack, don't try and defeat him, always run. He is not to be approached by less than an army of ANBUs, and even then we are not sure we could defend him. Now with Tsunade as a hokage, we are hoping Orochimaru will stay as far as possible since Tsunade is the only opponent who might have a chance against him, and only when supported by said army.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tries to think about everything he’s ever heard or read about Orochimaru. </p><p> </p><p>“What makes him so strong?” </p><p> </p><p>“Mostly the way he has with people,” Kakashi opts. “It’s easy from him to manipulate you into thinking he’s your only chance in something. He is known to give really good deals to people who have no other chance, no other choice. He helps orphans and they love him for it, for he saved them. He then turns an innocent soul into his brainless soldier, or uses them as another body to make inhumane experiments on them. But as I said - it’s mostly the way he speaks to anyone. He is a snake, and his words are poison. But worry not my babies,” Kakashi smiles brightly, “you are not to meet him, I hope, ever. He, just like all insects, loves ugly, stale, wet dungeons and doesn't usually leave them. He’s not a reason to worry.” </p><p> </p><p>“You have an unheard of way of saying bad news, Kakashi,” Naruto informs him with a straight face. </p><p> </p><p>“And you are yet to hear me sing,” Kakashi winks at him and reaches back into his bag to fish his favourite porn from it, releasing Naruto's hand (seeing Sasuke holds his other one already). </p><p> </p><p>“What is this porn of yours about, anyway?” Naruto smiles at his teacher and tries to see the review from the other side. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm? Ah, well, it’s not anything you’d understand, yet,” Kakashi smiles sweetly at him, and then advises him: “Ask Sasuke, he’d be happy to explain.” </p><p> </p><p>And act on it, too, Kakashi ads in his head, while Sasuke turns bright red, when he faces the copy-nin with a bewildered (and alarmed) expresion in his pretty face. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, young love, hn, hn,” Kakashi whispers to himself when Naruto asks Sasuke if he ever read any of these books (Sasuke did, and he’ll never, ever say a word about this to anyone - not even to Naruto). </p><p> </p><p>When they reach their destination, Kakashi gives them a map with positions, and the instructions they received from Tsunade. Kakashi then leaves them hidden by the rock while he himself runs south. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto sits back, waiting for Sasuke to take a good look at the map, preparing strategy and probably getting ready for the fight.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready?” Sasuke asks after half an hour. “I can sense them.” </p><p> </p><p>“Formation four, six, three, if everything goes fine,” Naruto makes sure. </p><p> </p><p>“If you get in trouble, use the scroll,” Sasuke reminds him. </p><p> </p><p>“You should keep the scroll,” Naruto argues. “I have way more chakra than you.” </p><p> </p><p>“I… Naruto, I can't. You are the one who’s good at sealing. I can't do it for shit.” </p><p> </p><p>“But you taught me the sealing!” Naruto insists. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I told you how to do it, I never managed it myself,” Sasuke explains. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but how… how comes you don't…?” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupts him. “Now is not the best time. You are the only one who can seal like this, okay? I can't tell you why. Not now. We’ll talk about it later, yes? Have to be profesional now.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay. Sorry. Yes, action,” Naruto agrees and takes the scroll, hiding in the trees. </p><p> </p><p>It’s a short distance teleportation scroll the yondaime left behind, probably from times he himself was inventing this technique. Naruto still has quite some troubles doing it right when he doesn't focus or is drained, but is getting better at it. Well, of course he is. He’s managed to learn how to use Rasengan, too. </p><p> </p><p>“Why do I love you so much,” Sasuke chuckles to himself under his breath. </p><p> </p><p>Then, it’s just a mess. There are people running away, people trying to fight, there are so many enemies Sasuke doesn't even get to count them. All he knows is, Naruto is in the middle of it, I have to get to him. I have to get there, I have to fight by his side - but he can't. He has to keep his positions, he uses everything he knows to catch, hurt, or at least slow down all the people running his direction. He didn't think he’ll be killing people today, but he has to. He activates his Chidori and runs through as many enemies as possible, keeping the general direction of where Naruto should be. He kills way too many people, way too many is hurt and will soon die due to the injuries. Sasuke can feel his chakra flow wobbling, he knows he can't use this technique for long, but he has to do everything in his power to get to his blond. </p><p> </p><p>And the second another group of refugees runs his direction, he feels a familiar swirling tornado of energy he got used to so much; “I’m here. I’m okay. There’s hundreds, Sasuke. We need to try it now till you lose any more chakra.” </p><p> </p><p>He’s so relieved Naruto’s okay, but he doesn't have the time to tell him. There are fifteen, twenty, thirty people, and Naruto’s right. </p><p> </p><p>“Whenever you are ready.” </p><p> </p><p>And Naruto gives him the grin Sasuke loves on him, all handsome and confident and reassuring all at once, when he breathes in, seals and gives off an incredible water tornado with such force it sweeps their opponents from their feet. This technique isn't fatal, but isn't meant to be used on it’s own, either. Sasuke once more activates his chidori, seals with Naruto’s left hand and his right one and creates a technique they yet have to name, electrocuting more than thirty people in one go. </p><p> </p><p>There’s silence, afterwards. No more people running, noone tries to fight them. Just the two of them, alone. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck,” Naruto mumbles, openly petrified by the sight. “I didn't…” </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't expect this, either,” Sasuke agrees. </p><p> </p><p>They never tried this in combat before, Sasuke still had issues forming and keeping chidori when meeting the water, and of course keeping the chakra flow between the two boys connected and able to perform this shared technique. </p><p> </p><p>“And for a while here I was sure you got in trouble,” Kakashi greets them from above, sitting on one of the lower branches. </p><p> </p><p>“We're good,” Naruto waved him off. “We… we are both okay, I think.” </p><p> </p><p>“Any injuries?” Kakashi asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Minor,” Sasuke murmurs and holds his side. Someone was able to stab him with a kunai, but it’s nothing he couldn't handle. </p><p> </p><p>“You are bleeding,” Naruto informs him, matter of factly. Naruto looks at his own injuries, already healing, and asks: “Hey… how do I help you with this? I always heal so quick, but you…” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… it’s Kyuubi, you know,” Kakashi informs him and jumps down next to them. “It’s his power that helps you heal rather quickly." </p><p> </p><p>“So I can't use it, transform it or anything,” Naruto lowers his head. </p><p> </p><p>You could, Kakashi thinks to himself. Your father believed you could be able to. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Sasuke suddenly turns his head to the left, sharingan activated, focusing on one point behind the trees. “Run.” </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Naruto frowns, but immediately catches on, turns where Sasuke’s facing and speeds the other direction. </p><p> </p><p>“Wh-!” Kakashi activates his sharingan too, understanding this is it, this is the person stalking them, stalking <em> Naruto </em>for months. He reaches for a kunai, ready to give his life to save the running blond, but something is off here. He doesn't feel quite as threatened as he should be, though he recognizes the chakra that’s been following them around on mission for so long now, no matter how subtle. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke attacks first and without warning, and Kakashi follows only to find out what he though he will: an ANBU with a cat mask on holds Sasuke right by his throat. </p><p> </p><p>“Keep your babies in line, Kakashi-kun,” the ANBU tells him. </p><p> </p><p>“Let go,” Kakashi says, recognizing the ANBU, but not knowing his name, or his face. For all he knows, this one is one of Danzo’s, and as such is considered an enemy to him. </p><p> </p><p>The ANBU laughs silently, strengthening his hold upon Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke is nearly out of chakra, tired, and still much too young to be able to get out of this man’s hold by himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Let him go,” Kakashi repeats, ready to attack his former colleague. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d never guess you’ll be one to adopt,” the ANBU wonders. “Knowing all of your failures, losing your father, your best friend, your lover, your teacher, your friends, all the people you loved… and you still think you can have something good in this world?” </p><p> </p><p>“Are you aware treason is punishable by death. “</p><p> </p><p>“What treason,” his smile is apparent under his cat mask. “Uchiha and Hatake died during a B-rank mission turning wrong.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi knows he can't take the well rested and at full power ANBU. He knows this man is to be feared. He doesn't make mistakes, he isn't seen and noone knows who he is for sure. Not even Tsunade. “I’ll make sure in my death and your injuries your intentions will be clear.” </p><p> </p><p>“I see,” the ANBU muses, letting Sasuke go, as he vanishes in thin air. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke!” Kakashi moves right in time to catch the nearly unconscious boy in his arms. “Sasuke, do you hear me? I’ll give you some water, breathe, please, for fucks-!” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke does breath, it's a shallow breath, and then he starts lapping on air, coughing, and heavy breathing. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you are okay, calm down, here have some water,” Kakashi tells the kid, holding him partly in his arms. </p><p> </p><p>His hands are shaking, his heart pounding and he feels like he’s falling. What the fuck had just happened. Why was the Cat here? Why did he- what was- he- Danzo.</p><p> </p><p>This is all <em> Danzo </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Danzo has Naruto followed for he wants him to - he wants…! Kakashi’s mind is way too quick for his panicked brain, he has all the information he needs after all, he just needs to slow down, go through it and immediately give a report on it. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke, we have to go. We have to go before Cat catches up to Naruto.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wh-what is… he-” </p><p> </p><p>“He’s trying to make Naruto lose it, so he’d let Kyuubi overcome him, so he can be shown to the village as a threat that needs to be eliminated.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't believe this. He doesn't - he’s not…!</p><p> </p><p>“I have to go, stay here and calm yourself, but I have to-!” </p><p> </p><p>“NO! I’ll-!” Sasuke gets up, he’s still short of breath but he switches to running immediately, jumping into the trees to have a better view - he senses Naruto's chakra, and it’s… it’s all wrong. </p><p> </p><p>It’s dark, heavy, and it’s… there’s no Naruto in this. </p><p> </p><p>In any of this. </p><p> </p><p>When he finally sees him, covered with red chakra, four tails up and the Cat ANBU against him, laughing, obviously provoking him, already covered by blood and obviously making the best of it, while Naruto obviously did lose it. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke, no!” Kakashi warns as Sasuke runs toward his best friend, sharingan in his eyes and all the love he could muster in his heart. </p><p> </p><p>The fox sees him, looks him in the eyes for a second, and then there is… he’s.. where is he? It's dark here. The water’s running somewhere, Sasuke has to - Naruto! He’s standing close to the iron bars where there stands… </p><p> </p><p>“Kyuubi.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha,” the ninetails growls. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing to Naruto!” he screams and runs closer. Naruto seems to be in some kind of trance, not reacting, not really hearing. “Stop this!” </p><p> </p><p>Kyuubi laughs. “You’ll need more power in your eyes, if you want me to listen to your orders, little one.” </p><p> </p><p>My eyes…? Sharingan? Sasuke focuses his eyes, tries to put the Kyuubi in a genjutsu, even if just a minor one. The demon tits his head and makes a step back without realizing, out of instinct. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not the first Uchiha you see,” Sasuke realizes. </p><p> </p><p>“I recognize the eyes of Uchiha Madara,” Kyuubi tells him. “You are not as powerful yet, but I see you will, one day.” </p><p> </p><p>“And you expect me to know him?” Sasuke asks with such cruelty in his voice Kyuubi makes one more step back. “Let Naruto go.” </p><p> </p><p>“You don't have the power yet,” Kyuubi repeats, but he doesn't seem to be as sure as before. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke takes Naruto’s hand in his, gently stroking his fingers. “I’m right here, love. Whatever are these bad people telling you, it’s not true. We decided to always have each others back, because you’ve shown me your heart and I’ve shown you mine. Come back to me, Naruto.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto opens his eyes. “Where-what…?” </p><p> </p><p>Kyuubi makes a sound that probably should have been threatening, but it soudned more like purring to Sasuke.</p><p> </p><p>“We are in your mind,” Sasuke explains. “This… this is… well, Naruto, meet Kyuubi.” </p><p> </p><p>The demon stays half in the shadows and while Naruto knows about demons, read a bti about it, too, he’s still surprised: “This… this is in me?” </p><p> </p><p>“All this power,” Kyuubi tells him. “Can be yours. If you take off the seal.” </p><p> </p><p>“It can,” Sasuke agrees. “But you would die, and probably everyone you love.” </p><p> </p><p>“My parents died when his power was unleashed,” Naruto whispers, then looks down, when he realizes he’s holding hands with Sasuke. “We… we hold hands even here, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles at him: “What happened? Why were you… why are you here, why did you give up to Kyuubi's power?” </p><p> </p><p>“The-the ANBU. Told me… he told me he killed you!” </p><p> </p><p>“No, hey, calm down, no, that’s a lie, I’m alive and here - well, I’m outside, not… like, here in you, but I’m alive.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto calms down a bit: “And Kakashi?” </p><p> </p><p>“Probably fighting the ANBU now that I’m here,” Sasuke guesses. </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi… Kakashi’s fighting for… for me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke agrees, as stunned as Naruto himself. The ANBU and Kakashi must know each other, by the “Kakashi-kun”  the ANBU offered to the man. And he still keeps his word to protect his teacher's child. Sasuke might be warming up to the Copy-nin. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I’m sorry, Kyuubi,” he then addresses the demon. “I can't let you out. I can't let you hurt people.” </p><p> </p><p>Kyuubi eyes the Sharingan. “There are always people who want to hurt people.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why are looking at me?” Sasuke asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Your eyes are the reason I’m here,” Kyuubi tells them as if expecting them to argue, to tell him they know about the seal, about the attack, about yondaime. “And now they are gonna try this again, with different eyes.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean,” Sasuke asks instead, and Kyuubi smirks, and then the cave disappears. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke regains consciousness holding Naruto’s hand, facing him. The ANBU is heavy breathing, not laughing anymore, with Kakashi fighting the man. They share one look and go with their typical formation, with Naruto stalling, and Sasuke preparing for ambush. </p><p> </p><p>“Looks like you are just a pile of shit, afterwards,” the blond yells at the man. “Sasuke is alive and well. Did you want to provoke me so Kyuubi would be set free?” </p><p> </p><p>The ANBU laughs and spits out blood, and teeth probably. “Oh you did lose control.” </p><p> </p><p>“Momentarily,” Naruto agrees. “Didn't hurt anyone. Not even those who’d deserve it.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m working for Konoha, not for some stupid, arrogant, dangerous child!” the Cat yells, hatred in his eyes obvious. “I lost my children because of you!” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto knows there were many deaths upon the attack. He knows it wasn't only shinobi who protected the village. He knows that. And when he wants to say something about he’s sorry, the second Sasuke has the Cat on the ground, wrappend in the wire jutsu. </p><p> </p><p>“You get to blame Naruto for the Kyuubi attack when you blame your own dead children for a natural disaster,” Sasuke spits at him, sealing the wires so the man can't escape it. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto wants to thank his best friend but is interrupted by Kakashi’s body falling to the ground. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, fuck.” </p><p> </p><p>There’s something inappropriate in hearing Sasuke curse. They both run to their sensei, making sure it’s just chakra exhaustion, and he’s not dying or way too injured. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, kids, I’m fine,” he mumbles, accepting the water bottle Naruto offers him. </p><p> </p><p>“Take Kakashi,” Sasuke orders. “I’ll take the Cat.” </p><p> </p><p>“Beware of the Cat,” Kakashi warns him, as he lets Naruto help him up. “He’s a dangerous manipulator.” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto, the silencer,” Sasuke asks and Naruto giggles, because yes, they make fun of this, but never actually had a reason to use this “technique” in a field. But he complies with the teamleader's order, takes of his shoe and throws Sasuke his sock. Sasuke catches it and stuffs Cat’s mouth with it. </p><p> </p><p>“You two,” Kakashi, despite his injuries, actually laughs, “are just unreal.”</p><p> </p><p>“But practical,” Naruto offers, helping his teacher make a few steps. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi continues to laugh and shakes his head. He’s already feeling better now, walking on his own. It’s a slow tempo, but they all manage, since they are injured, too. Sasuke and Naruto have one more thing to worry about, and that was what Kyuubi told them: they are trying to do the same with different eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi,” Sasuke asks. “Are we… my brother, you, and I, are we the only ones with sharingan?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Kakashi answers honestly. “As far as I know there’s noone else at all, in Konoha and beyond.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks at Naruto to see he’s as eager to know the answers as he is himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” </p><p> </p><p>“We… we met Kyuubi,” Sasuke decides to trust the man. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi stops then and takes them both away from the unconscious ANBU for him not to overhear. “What did he tell you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Just told me I can kill the man if I want. Told me that he can make me strong. I… Cat told me Sasuke’s dead, and that he killed you, too.” </p><p> </p><p>“He wanted you to lose control,” Kakashi tells him. “Wanted to… I have… we have to tell Tsunade. There is… a lot to explain to you two.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kyuubi told us… told us that the reason he’s sealed in naruto, was sharingan. And I… I mean, it could… it could be anyone from my clan, isn't it. And there’s… there’s just Itachi aside the two of us who survived both the Kyuubi attack and the… the night.” </p><p> </p><p>“You think Itachi was the one to manipulate Kyuubi to attack the village,” Kakashi understands. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't think that could be true. Not really. “He was… seven, eight?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” Kakashi agrees. “He was way too young to… no, I don't think it was Itachi.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you so certain?” Naruto asks. “Isn't… isn't itachi…” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure the two of you are already on it as well as I am,” Kakashi smiles a bit. “I remember him, you know. Itachi. He was… he loved you so much, Sasuke. And I… I still can't believe what happened.” </p><p> </p><p>“Were you in ANBU together?” Sasuke asks, obviously something he was dying to ask for a long time. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. And I… I don't believe… I still can't believe he’d… I know what happened. I know, Sasuke, what happened, what he’s done to you. I know what you can do with mangekyou. It’s just... “ </p><p> </p><p>Hope. Sasuke feels hope, because he’s not crazy, not biased. Kakashi’s on his side, has the same feeling, and he’s an adult, someone whose opinion matters. </p><p> </p><p>“I… Sasuke and I think… think that too,” Naruto mumbles. “That there was more to the night than just… than just Itachi killing everyone.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi nods. “So Kyuubi told you there’s someone else?” </p><p> </p><p>“He just… he wasn't angry and mad and all animal. There seems to be… something like a hurt pride or something. There seems to be a lot in him,” Naruto thinks. “It’s… I can't explain it, but he wasn't… he wasn't arguing, wasn't manipulating me. He just told me, when I was told Sasuke’s dead, that he can give me power to destroy the man.” </p><p> </p><p>“And he did,” Sasuke agrees. “You, well, Kyuubi, harmed him, slowed him down, drained him off energy - so I was able to knock him down.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi agrees - Kyuubi was a good help this time, but they don't have to be this lucky next time. “Wait, are you saying that Kyuubi retreated by himself?” </p><p> </p><p>“No, I had to reach out to Naruto, just… called his name and held his hand, and Naruto was by himself by then. But Kyuubi didn't... he didn't even <em>try</em> to stop me. He didn't seem all that hurt when Naruto refused to let him go. He just… kinda indicated he doesn't like my eyes for he remembers… he remembers Madara. Uchiha Madara.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha… Madara,” Kakashi frowns. “He’s… one of your ancestors. He was around when Konoha was established as the hidden village. He fought the first hokage and died in a fight with him. I’m sure there is info on him in the compound.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll look into it,” Sasuke agrees. “There’s just…” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto touches his stomach where the seal is. “It was so weird. I didn't expect him to be…” </p><p> </p><p>“I think he likes you,” Sasuke tells him, all silent and thoughtful. “He… he cares for you I think.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, he… he didn't really try to overpower you. He just offered help to get revenge on a person who supposedly killed us. He didn't… he didn't want to hurt you, not really.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi tilts his head to the side. It’s time to tell the boy who his parents were, why the fox was sealed in him, and maybe help them find out what the demon mean by all the talks. Sasuke lets Naruto walk in front of them, lost in his mind, when he tells Kakashi: “We have to talk to Tsunade.” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi looks back at the Cat, agreeing with the Uchiha: “You’ve got no idea.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Meeting Danzo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danzo is a dangerous man. But not as dangerous as Tsunade.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke plans on yelling and screaming and making a big deal out of it, but he doesn't have to. When he arrives at the official building, Kakashi is already yelling himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding me! Cat?! Of all the people you should send spying on Naruto, you send Cat?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It wasn't my decision, Kakashi!” she yells right back. “What do you take me for, an idiot?! I was overpowered here, the elders-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call the council,” Kakashi tells her. “And call them now for I have a talk with them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Already here,” behind Sasuke, there is a man all wrapped in bandages, old and seemingly harmless, but there is this aura around him… Sasuke can feel unpleasant tingling at the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Explain,” Kakashi spits out. “Explain </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The fox is dangerous, and as such should be eliminated,” the man tells, silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you can't be serious. Do you realize extraction would mean death to Naruto?!” Kakashi yells at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is, one word, amazed. He’s never seen the man this furious - he was always laid back, always kinda weirdly lazy or indifferent in any approach, seemed like nothing can really touch him, nothing can bring him out of his comfort zone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsunade-hime, tame your favourite,” the man tells Tsunade, like he can order her around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Kakashi can defend his hokage, Tsunade herself throws a table to the wall missing the dangerous, old man by only an inch. “Why did you have Naruto stalked, provoked and fought by Cat?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I wanted to see if he’s dangerous and can lose control. It was proved that he can, and therefore he’s dangerous,” the man answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't hurt anyone, and regained his control back immediately,” Sasuke enters the conversation, already hating the old man. “And you go on how you gonna kill him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uchiha,” the man turns to him. “You of all people should know that no matter how dear some people are to you, when they become a threat, it's your obligation to eliminate such a threat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s Chidori activates by itself: “Lady Hokage, is it your order to murder Naruto for being a threat to this village?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not under any circumstances,” Tsunade answers, siding with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see you are making the same mistake Hiruzen did, getting all emotional over your student,” the old man smiles at Tsunade, not moving, not being threatened at all by their fighting stance. “You’ll see yourself, we'll eventually have no other option but to kill the demon. Only it will be too late when it happens, and most of the village won't be alive by then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns around and leaves without other word. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade throws a lamp behind him, and a chair, and a bookcase. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck was that,” Sasuke asks, his chidori dying out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Danzo,” Kakashi murmurs. “There… there probably is a conversation we ought to have, Sasuke. About Naruto and the village.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean about the council and Naruto.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade sighs, pitching the bridge of his nose. “I… Sasuke, Naruto needs to know who his parents were. I recall you wanted to be the one who tells him, am I right? Tell him everything you know regarding his past.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes,” Sasuke didn't expect this conversation to go on this smoothly. “Yes, I will. Thank you, hokage-sama.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade dismisses him with a gesture and Sasuke leaves immediately, already planning on how to tell his best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you,” she addresses Kakashi. “Tell me exactly how strong they are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They killed fifty people together without any severe injury, and together were able to nearly kill Cat. And they would, if they didn't bring him in for interrogation.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have everyone interrogate him, trust me,” Tsunade murmurs. “If I find anything that stings, I’ll kill Danzo myself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, same,” Kakashi agrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you idiot. I’ll take him out on my own, and you’ll become hokage. The fuck you think I’ll let you assasinate and elder?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’d rather for the soldier to die while the king lives,” Kakashi applies Asuma’s metaphor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade actually chuckles at him: “Then you need way more thinking about what Asuma meant by it, kid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now,” Tsunade interrupts him. “I hope this doesn't change anything in them taking the chuunin exam?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m certain they’d rebell to us both if we tried to stop them,” Kakashi smiles, getting his Icha Icha out of his pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Saying the truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally, Naruto is told who his parents are - and what his mum was like. And also, there's some more info on Danzo - and one more person.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Finally, Sasuke bites his lips. Finally he can tell him. All those months and months and of lying and telling half truths and not saying everything is finally over. </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?” Sasuke calls into his room from the balcony. </p><p> </p><p>“Finally,” Naruto greets him and gets out of bed. “We need to train for the-!” </p><p> </p><p>“Not now,” Sasuke stops him and takes his hand. “I want… I want to tell you something - it’s a good thing, good, don't worry.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Naruto slowly nods. “Want in?” </p><p> </p><p>“I think yes, yes. I… I'm really excited, because now I  can finally tell you about… you now, the things I told you Kakashi and Tsunade and I and few other people know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?” Naruto’s eyes seem electric blue. “You can tell me now?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm, let’s sit down for it, okay?” Sasuke suggests and drags Naruto to the old armchair. “You… you know I was mad at Kakashi for a long while, right? There were my own personal reasons, but it was mostly you. Because, Naruto, Kakashi should have been there for you since the start, since you were born. He’s… knew you father. He was… actually, your father was Kakashi’s sensei.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kakashi’s sensei was the yondaime,” Naruto frowns, not catching up at first. “...oh.” </p><p> </p><p>“Minato Namikaze,” Sasuke smiles at his friend, holding his hand out for Naruto to catch. “The yondaime is your father. And his wife, Kushina Uzumaki, is your mum.” </p><p> </p><p>“I had… my…” there are tears in Naruto’s eyes and he doesn't know if he’s happy or sad, and probably both. So he stays there a bit dumbfounded, crying on Sasuke’s shoulder of relief, sadness, anger. </p><p> </p><p>“I… I don't know many things about them, sadly, only that you were given your last name after your mum, because the elders were scared enemies would try to get to you, you know. For… for Kyuubi. That’s why they kept you in isolation, that’s why they never told you anything about you parents. That’s why they… the elders didn't want... the elders… the elders want you… they... “ </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke?” Naruto interrupts him, seeing his friend is getting angry. “What is it, Sasuke, what do they want me to do?” </p><p> </p><p>“The man, Cat, was following us to see if you lose control over Kyuubi. When you didn't, the man forced you to lose it by lying to you. He was told to do so by the elders, by Danzo. He then… told Tsunade she should order your death, because you are a danger to the village.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto slowly blinks at him. “I have to die?”</p><p> </p><p>“NO! Gods, no, you should have seen Kakashi, how quick he was to attack him, the Danzo whatever, and Tsunade? I’ve never seen her so pissed, she crushed everything in her office after she declined to ever harm you. So no, you won't. Not under any circumstances. But Naruto, we have to be careful. We are being watched.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Naruto agrees, wiping the last of his tears. “I know we do. So this… this Danzo - what is he?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know,” Sasuke shakes his head. “He’s one of the council, the head of it even. Naru, there is something seriously wrong with him. Something is… something is not right. We have to be careful. Tsunade hates him, but even she seemed to be careful around him.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll try asking her for some more info when I’m with her again,” Naruto promises. </p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking… you know, there is someone we completely overlooked when finding info about that night and Itachi and… all. Someone who might know something about the clan,” he didn't mean to suggest this, but it’s their only shot. </p><p> </p><p>“You mean someone who knew my parents, too,” Naruto understands and gently touches his stomach. “Okay, we can ask him. But… but how?” </p><p> </p><p>“I think I can use my sharingan to bring us to him, but he can throw us out, so le’s… try and see. You with me?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Naruto agrees, holding his hand tighter. “Always.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles at him and focuses chakra in his eyes, looking straight at Naruto. And there they are again in the dungeon-like place with iron bars at the end of it. </p><p> </p><p>“Hello, kyuubi,” Naruto tries, walking close. “Are you awake?” </p><p> </p><p>“Demons don't sleep, child,” the demon answers him from the darkness. “What do you want here, Uchiha.” </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke is my friend,” Naruto introduces him. “Important to me. Remember? You offered your power because I thought he’s dead.” </p><p> </p><p>“Your important person is an Uchiha,” kyuubi doesn't seem to be happy about that fact. </p><p> </p><p>“I understand you don't like Uchihas,” Naruto tries. “Why?” </p><p> </p><p>“Use their eyes where they don't belong. Manipulate everyone. Kill.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto lets go of Sasuke’s hand, coming closer to the demon. “You… you didn't want to attack the village, did you?” </p><p> </p><p>Kyubi emerges from the darkness, laying his head on his paws so he can see the children, making eye contact with both. “You are powerful, young Uchiha.” </p><p> </p><p>“But not as powerful as Uchiha Madara,” Sasuke comes closer then, too. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s the demon here,” the fox growls. “What relations do you have to him?” </p><p> </p><p>“None,” Sasuke answers. </p><p> </p><p>The fox tries to tell if he’s lying, but Sasuke is an open book. He doesn't know anything about Uchiha Madara, but he wants to. He wants to know what happened all those years ago. </p><p> </p><p>“You said you didn't want to attack the village. What were your intentions, then?” </p><p> </p><p>“Keep your mother safe, when she was giving birth to you,” the fox purrs</p><p> </p><p>“My… my mother? You were... “ Naruto doesn't know what to say. “You… my mum was a jinchuuriki, too?” </p><p> </p><p>The fox stares at him without answer. </p><p> </p><p>“How… what-what can you tell me about her, how was she like?” Naruto is already crying, reaching for Sasuke’s hand. </p><p> </p><p>Fox looks at them, looks at Uchiha gently caressing his arm. “A lot like you. Similar chakra.” </p><p> </p><p>“I-I mean... “ Naruto smiles over a choked sob. “I-I mean… I mean, what was...she like?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know,” kyuubi murmurs. “She didn't have an Uchiha for a precious friend. Well, not born Uchiha.” </p><p> </p><p>“Born? What do you mean, not born? Had Kushina friends among Uchihas?” </p><p> </p><p>“One. Similar chakra to yours, young Uchiha. I believe it was your mother.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks at Naruto, both of them don't believe what they are hearing. </p><p> </p><p>“So you never… you never really met my mum. She ever got here,” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Noone did. Uchihas don't make alliances with powerful jinchuuriki,” kyuubi yawns. </p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Sasuke says. “Naruto is my alliance.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” kyuubi purrs. “He’s your important person, too.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke tries not to let his cheek flush, but seriously. Even a <em> demon </em>calls him out on his feelings?!</p><p> </p><p>“Kyuubi,  the first time we were here, you told us… you told us you hate Uchihas for their eyes. And that someone is… someone is trying again,” Naruto sits down next to the iron bars. </p><p> </p><p>The fox watches Sasuke sitting close to him and automatically holds his hand. the fox raises his imaginary brow. He’s getting curious about this. It’s not like he ever talked to people before. </p><p> </p><p>“There is someone, hidden. Working for someone who should be long dead,” kyuubi agrees. </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha Madara,” Sasuke guesses. </p><p> </p><p>The fox watches them for a while, and after a long silence he nods. </p><p> </p><p>“He put you under a genjutsu,” Naruto guesses. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s a lot of things you can do with mangekyou,” the demon says, looking at Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks at his friend, confused: “Mangekyou? What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“A form of sharingan,” Sasuke explains. “It’s… uh, I’m not sure. Say, Kyuubi… you said you wanted to protect Kushina. Protect from what?” </p><p> </p><p>“I hate Uchihas for their hunger for power,” kyuubi says after a while. “They want to kill and avenge and they want more powers, more techniques, more chakra. I met Uchihas, but none were like you, child.” </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean,” Sasuke asks, getting irritated. The fox never answers his questions. </p><p> </p><p>“When an Uchihas come to us, they don't ask questions. They bound us, manipulate us, use us. And then they leave us wherever they please.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not here for you power,” Sasuke makes clear. “I’m here because my best friend, my most important person, is being threatened to be killed because you attacked the village all the way back.” </p><p> </p><p>The demon looks stunned for a while, and then says: “You can kill the jinchuuriki, but that only sets free the demon.” </p><p> </p><p>“What? So he… the elders know this?!” </p><p> </p><p>“The one who put this seal here knows this. And the one who put the other one over it knows it too,” Kyuubi says, motioning with one of his tails towards the seal. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s two of them…?” Naruto gets up, but the seal is way too high. “Ugh, too high, can't see there.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why are there two of them?” </p><p> </p><p>“One of those was made by Minato Namikaze. When Kushina died, he sealed me into Naruto. The other seal over it was done after.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you know who it was?” Sasuke asks, and tries jumping in to see if there really are two of them. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” kyuubi nods. </p><p> </p><p>“Was he a sharingan bearer, too?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Glimpse of past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>There are names being said without context. Like the kyuubi doesn't want to tell them all the info, but wants them to realize it themselves, if he gives them enough subtle indications. So Sasuke asks a direct question:  “Was he an Uchiha?” </p><p> </p><p>“No.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stops trying to jump up and see it, stunned and surprised. “So it… was someone who... “ </p><p> </p><p>There’s only Kakashi. Noone else. But that's bullshit, isn't it? Kakashi wouldn't…?! Both boys realize it at the same time. There’s noone like this, but Kakashi. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sasuke doesn't believe this. He can't believe this, there has to be a different way. He doesn't - he can't - </p><p> </p><p>“Was it Kakashi?” Naruto asks with a straight face. </p><p> </p><p>“...No.” </p><p> </p><p>Oh for fuck’s sake, thank <em> fuck </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Look among your elders. Look among those who walk in shadow,” Kyuubi tries. </p><p> </p><p>“You can't tell his name,” Sasuke finally understands. “You can't- it was Danzo, but you can't tell his name!” </p><p> </p><p>Kyuubi nods. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s what the seal is about?” Naruto asks. “About him?” </p><p> </p><p>“The seal was done to tell the sealer your exact location and whether you are using my powers.” </p><p> </p><p>That’s why it was so easy for Cat to track them, Sasuke understands.. “So he doesn't know we can get here?” </p><p> </p><p>“If he threatens your life, then he knows.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke and Nauto share a look. “You say he works with an alliance. You also said he knows how to use your powers and that’s why he wants to set you free. Does it mean Danzo wants to seal you into himself?”</p><p> </p><p>The fox doesn't answer, so Naruto hurries him up: “Kyuubi?” </p><p> </p><p>“Don't call me that,” the fox spits out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. What should we call you then?” </p><p> </p><p>“...Kurama. My name’s... Kurama.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kurama. Hi, Kurama, nice knowing your name,” Naruto smiles. “Now… there was a lot of things told. I’m… we are not here to manipulate you or hurt you. We are not here because we want you to kill people you don't want to kill. So,  first things first, tho - Is there a way for us to get a look on the seal?” </p><p> </p><p>Two of the demon's tails sneak upon each boy's waist and lift them up. And the fox was right - there are two seals there. </p><p> </p><p>“Say, Kurama,” Naruto addresses his demon. “What happens if I destroy the seal?” </p><p> </p><p>“The sealer won't be able to stalk us. Won't be able to stop us, either.” </p><p> </p><p>“So breaking the seal means breaking the ties you have with Danzo?” Sasuke makes sure. </p><p> </p><p>“Breaking the seal means noone can come after us. Any sharingan bearer,” Kurama barks. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto and Sasuke share a look, and Sasuke smiles and nods at his friend. “In that case, it was nice meeting you, Kurama. I guess we won't see each other ever again.” </p><p> </p><p>“Unless you use your eyes,” Kurama says, as if testing what Sasuke's answer will be. </p><p> </p><p>“You said you were planning to protect Kushina from the one who manipulated you into attacking the village. You didn't plan to kill her, and you didn't do it by your choice.” </p><p> </p><p>“I did not,” Kurama agrees. </p><p> </p><p>“You won't hurt Naruto, would you?” </p><p> </p><p>“I won't.” </p><p> </p><p>“Then I’m not using my eyes against you,” Sasuke gives a nod and helps Naruto tear the first seal off. </p><p> </p><p>Kurama’ eyes swirl red and for a while, they remind Sasuke of his sharingan - the colour is similar. Then the demon stands up, way higher than they expected, shakes his fur and makes three, four steps. </p><p> </p><p>“Feels better?” Naruto asks, smiling up at the fox when his tails put them back down. </p><p> </p><p>Kyuubi doesn't answer, only makes three more steps closer to the bars, sticking his snout out, sniffing Naruto and then licking his face. Naruto laughs and huffs, showing off his big mouth. “Ew, Kurama.” </p><p> </p><p>The fox purrs and lies back down, head on it’s paws. </p><p> </p><p>“Say, Kurama… how do I get here without Sasuke’s help?” Naruto asks. </p><p> </p><p>“You won't.” </p><p> </p><p>“...Oh,” Naruto’s not so happy anymore. “Does that mean I won't see you again?” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to?” kyuubi asks and he does seemingly sound unaffected, but even Naruto knows he’s not. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s a lot I want to ask. I want to ask about other demons, about you and your chakra, about your life before you got sealed, and how many times did you get sealed in. And also... I also want to ask more about… about what you know about Uchihas. What you know about Danzo and other,” Naruto tells him, once again coming so close to the bars he could touch them if he wanted to. “I… of course I want to see you again.” </p><p> </p><p>“Then you have to keep your alliance with young Uchiha.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke steps a bit closer, following Naruto to the bars. “You don't like Uchihas here.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't,” Kurama agrees. “I still owe one to the sharingan bearers.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are addressing Danzo.” </p><p> </p><p>“And Uchiha Mafara.” </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha Madara is long dead, my friend,” Naruto tells him. </p><p> </p><p>“Uchiha Madara is alive and well, child,” Kurama tells him and closes his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Then the bars and the dungeon are gone, and both boys are sitting in the old armchair. They are silent for a while, holding hands, each of them trying to process what they heard. </p><p> </p><p>“Danzo wants me dead,” Naruto whispers. “And you too.” </p><p> </p><p>“He wants to set Kurama free and kill people,” Sasuke explains. “He doesn't care about any of us. He probably wants to become hokage himself, having the power over the entire village. He wants the world to see jinchuurikis as dangerous, so he kills you and probably tames Kurama for himself to have unlimited power.” </p><p> </p><p>“He’s… do you think Madara could be alive? How could he?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… I’m not… do you remember Kakashi telling us about Orochimaru?” Sasuke suddenly remembers. “He’s like, obsessed with reincarnation?” </p><p> </p><p>“And small boys. Yes, I remember - oh, you think… since Orochimaru was Konoha’s shinobi, he works with him somehow?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke slowly agrees. This is way too big for two boys like them. They need help. “We have to tell Kakashi.” </p><p> </p><p>“And baa-chan,” Naruto agrees. </p><p> </p><p>They keep silent for a long while again. Then out of nowhere, Naruto says: “He’s nice.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hn,” Sasuke agrees. “He does really like you. Liked your mum, too.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. You think… you think he’s telling the truth?” </p><p> </p><p>“He doesn't seem to be a killer everyone takes him for,” Sasuke muses. “He’s rather… calm. Looked genuinely happy when you destroyed the seal.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you think Danzo can find out somehow? That we destroyed it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well, yes, if he suddenly lost his control over you. But can't do anything about this, because I’m sure noone was aware he was tracking you like this. So we have to tell Tsunade and Kakashi to help us guard you. And maybe… maybe Shikamaru.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles at him and hugs him tight: “I’m so proud of you. You are asking people for help, trusting Kakashi and Tsunade. I’m really, really proud of you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke lets the boy envelope him in his arms and rests his head on his shoulder. “I’m so glad I have you. I’m not willing to let anyone take you away from me. Not Madara, not Danzo, not anyone. Anyone at all.” </p><p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. During chuunin exam</h2></a>
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</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi turns out to be reluctant to let them pass the chuunin exam after everything he’s been told, and Tsunade doesn't even let them go on any mission above C. Naruto grows restless after a few weeks. </p><p> </p><p>He can study, yes. But there’s only so much he actually has to do when they learn the scroll summoning (so they can cheat on any test there might be). Failing is out of question. </p><p> </p><p>So of course they excell the writing test and are able to take the preliminaries, Naruto beating Kiba without any trouble in a few minutes, and Sasuke beating Yoroi just as easily, but it’s the third round of exam where the trouble starts. They have both scrolls at hand, already aiming for the tower, but they are stopped by someone who certainly isn't who she pretends she is. </p><p>“Hello there, Sasuke-kun,” the thing pretending he/she is human, greets him. “I believe you know who I am.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto, hiding close by and keeping his eye firmly fixed on Sasuke, can make his assumption: evil chakra, deviant, and obviously someone who likes young boys, judging by the look he gives his best friend. Definitely Orochimaru. The original plan was to flee, but when Sasuke recognized the whatever thing was obviously not a genin, he signalled for Naruto to hide and wait. Naruto sees why now, they had, after all, questions to ask the man. Usually this would be the other way around. Naruto would make the talking and Sasuke would ambush, but this sicko was only interested in sharingan. </p><p> </p><p>If he knows about Naruto hiding nearby, he doesn't let it show. He probably doesn't care, either. </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here, Orochimaru,” Sasuke asks. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’ve got business to take care of here,” that thing smiles and licks his lips with an overly long tongue.</p><p> </p><p>“That wasn't sexy,” Sasuke hears Naruto's voice in his head loud and clear, as if he was standing right here next to him making this comment, and it takes everything in him not to laugh. His humor is rubbing off on him. </p><p> </p><p>“What bussiness,” Sasuke wants to know. </p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Orochimaru shrugs. “You know, the usual. Hokages to kill, secret scrolls to steal, my alliance to scare into obedience, young boys to lull into my care…” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh what a lovely <em> uncle </em>of sorts,” Naruto in Sasuke’s head says loud and clear and Sasuke realizes this is probably exactly what Naruto, hiding in ambush, is thinking to himself.</p><p> </p><p>“What makes you think I’ll be interested,” Sasuke scoffs. </p><p> </p><p>“Hm, I think you might be… curious. About how much I can teach you. How much I can tell you. Things about your own precious village. About your evil brother. About all the enemies there are. About all the ways you can become strong, stronger you can imagine. I can show you things noone has ever seen. And I can make you so much more powerful than your brother is.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't answer. Be the situation different…. Be it him and noone else, be it him, his plan and his revenge, his hateful thoughts and no love in his life… Be it loneliness, darkness, and hatred… he probably would not hesitate. Not a second. </p><p> </p><p>“Did I spark an interest...?” Orochimaru says as if he could ever see what’s in Sasuke’s heart. A person like him could never understand what it is like, being saved. Being pulled back from his dark thoughts. Being loved and cared for. Letting… letting people he loved change him. </p><p> </p><p>“You speak as if you could ever understand me,” Sasuke hisses. </p><p> </p><p>“I don't understand you per se,” Orochimaru concedes. “But I understand pain. And loss. And loneliness.” </p><p> </p><p>“Most shinobi do.” </p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru giggles in such a disgusting way Sasuke swears he hears Naruto making gagging sounds. “You are so adorable, little one.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s gagging sounds grow louder in Sasuke’s head.</p><p> </p><p>“I think there is a tiny difference for orphans like us. Who lost everything right in front of their eyes. Our family, our home, our illusions… I can understand that. And I, just like you, believe in fate, and that things are what they’re meant to be. Your brother murdered your family, and it is your fate to avenge, and restore your clan,” Orochimaru speaks with a sense of pretended sympathy and Sasuke remembers Kakashi warning him: Orochimaru can manipulate you into becoming his little soldier, because he knows what you wants, how to talk to you and how to twist things so you’d believe him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d need more than just power to join you,” Sasuke tells him. </p><p> </p><p>“More, of course you want more,” Orochumaru licks his lips and makes a step forward, but when he sees Sasuke go into a fighting stance, he stops again. “Oh c’mon, dear, I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to give you exactly what you want. I knew you’d want more - you are an Uchiha after all.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke scoffs and remembers Kurama saying the same;<em> I hate Uchihas for they always want </em> more <em> .  </em></p><p> </p><p>“I can tell you secrets not even the hokage knows. I can tell you about things that are happening right now, and what’s to come for Konoha, sooner or later.” </p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about,” Sasuke tries. </p><p> </p><p>“You think I’m the only powerful nukenin who has plans with this village? Oh my dear boy, you have <em> no idea </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not interested in liars and charlatans,” Sasuke pretends to turn around, losing his interest. </p><p> </p><p>“How well do you know your brother, Sasuke-kun? Well enough to know his true intentions? Have you ever heard of Akatsuki?” </p><p> </p><p>Yes, he did. Itachi is part of them. “I am aware of my brother in their coat.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” Orochimaru smirks. “Are you also aware they want this village eliminated, using the Ninetails?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stops dead in his tracks. So it’s true. “Yes, so I’ve heard.” </p><p> </p><p>“Heard, oh my <em> my </em>, you are so adorable, lying through your teeth like this,” Orochimaru giggles in the obnoxious, ugly way that makes Sasuke’s skin crawl </p><p> </p><p>“Well now I just want to vomit,” Naruto’s voice in his head gags. </p><p> </p><p>“Don't worry, Sasuke-kun. I’ll tell you everything you need to know. I can tell you what really happened during the night your clan was slaughtered. I can even tell you why your brother did it, even what would happened if he didn't. I can tell you who was responsible for that decision as well.” </p><p> </p><p>“Danzo,” Sasuke answers, putting the pieces together. “It was Danzo’s plan. And so is the kyuubi.” </p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru’s expresion becomes serious once again - the kid shouldn't have had this information at all. “How do you know his- ah, Kakashi Hatake. Of course the stolen Sharingan teaches you to use yours.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't answer - Kyuubi obviously isn't an issue if interest of this… <em> thing </em>. “Obviously, I have more information than you.” </p><p> </p><p>“I can tell you who is the leader of Akatsuki. I can tell you about his plan, too,” Orochimaru offers. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me, then,” Sasuke challenges. He just wants to know if Orochimaru knows about Madara. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, ah, ah,” Orochimalu licks his lips. “I said I will tell you, if you join me.” </p><p> </p><p>“So that's what this is about,” Sasuke concludes. “You are planning a little coup with Danzo on this village. Is the village your price, sharingan Danzo’s, and the demon Akatsuki’s?” </p><p> </p><p>Orochumaru actually looks stunned by this kid’s ability to deduce. “I want my share, and Danzo is yet to pay for my service.” </p><p> </p><p>“So you are the one who transplanted Sharingan into his eye,” Sasuke answers to himself.</p><p> </p><p>“If only one,” the snake smirks. “But yes, there was a pact, and Danzo forgot he’s not the only one with so called unlimited power.” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s why you are here? Make friends with Danzo and kill Tsunade together…? Well, your plan could be a good one, one deviant meeting another, but I’m still not interested in serving a nukenin; You or Danzo,” Sasuke informs him.</p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru takes three more steps now, ignoring Sasuke’s sharingan and his stance. Sasuke is done stalling, they won't get more info out of this man. </p><p> </p><p> “You are a strong one, my pretty boy. Not as strong as Itachi, but your eyes have potential,” Orochimaru cracks his neck. “Well, lets see what a lone Uchiha can do.” </p><p> </p><p>And then everything happens way too quickly. Orochimaru does a seriously disgusting thing where his head moves on a snake-like long neck, obviously going for Sasuke’s throat, but as Sasuke manages to swerve, Naruto is right by his side, able to cut the snake's head off before it aims for the Uchiha’s neck. “What makes you think he’s alone.” </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't expect the abomination to be dead, but he’s still surprised (and disgusted) when from the rest of the body grows another, fully functioning body (new head included) of the same ugly… <em> thing </em>. Sasuke refuses to call it a human. </p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru makes the horrible giggling sound again, and Sasuke was right all along, because Naruto seriously does the gagging sound he was earlier hearing in his head. “Okay, that was just disturbing.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't have the time at my hands to deal with you now. But don't worry, we’ll cross paths again,” the ex-sannin tells them. “There are things I can give you noone else can, Sasuke-kun.” </p><p> </p><p>And disappears in thin air. </p><p> </p><p>“What could possibly the old pedophile give you,” Naruto shakes his head, hiding his kunai back into his bag.  “Anal prolapse?” </p><p> </p><p>Ah, just fuck the kid’s sense of humour, Sasuke thinks and openly laughs.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Coup d'etat</h2></a>
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  <span>Sasuke, Naruto, and still unconscious Sakura (in Naruto’s arms) make it to the meeting spot in the forest first, beating the record from the previous years. </span>
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  <span>Naruto and Sasuke don't expect this to be over, and after telling Kakashi and Tsunade what happened with Orochimaru, Tsunade does everything in her power to protect the village, and the ongoing chuunin exam. During the three days they have for the final exam, epic one on one fight in the arena with the audience, Sasuke and Naruto tell some of the things they found out to Shikamaru, and Kakashi tries to explain to Shikaku (who doesn't like Danzo either). Tsunade tells everyone she trusts everything her team was able to get out of Cat, the information she has from Naruto and Sasuke, and what she knows on her own. </span>
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  <span>Everyone trustworthy, everyone who want to protect the village is ready, so the only person who is surprised at Orochimaru's attack in the arena is Danzo. </span>
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  <span>“Hello, old friend,” Orochimaru announces up the Hokage balcony. “And I’m not addressing Tsunade-hime.” </span>
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  <span>He actually slightly bowed his head. Whatever it is, he seems to respect his former teammate in a strange way.</span>
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  <span>“We, snake, are no friends,” Danzo tries, but even he can tell, by Tsunade’s expression, it’s a waste of energy. Hokage no hime found out.</span>
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  <span>“Say that to all the sharingans I transplanted to your body in an exchange for information and no active hunting for my head,” Orochimaru folds his arms across his chest. “We had an agreement, and since you have not complied with the contractual conditions, I withdraw from the coup d’etat.”  </span>
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  <span>“There was never an agreement between us!” Danzo yells. </span>
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  <span>“Enough talking,” Orochimaru tilts his head. “Let the village see how you don't have any sharingan.” </span>
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  <span>Orochimaru obviously tries his best. He came prepared for this fight, and when he sees Sasuke and Naruto jumping into the arena (where Shikamaru and one of the Suna siblings were having their round), he smirks in a way that, being the situation different, Sasuke would see as </span>
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  <span>Naruto and Sasuke shared a single look and knew exactly what to do. Their fighting style together was just beautiful to watch, amazing to witness. They still didn't give the name to the water tornado combination with chidori (Kakashi suggested they should call it “the husband’s combo” to which Naruto laughed like it was the best joke he’s ever heard and Sasuke went tomato red and didn't speak for like three hours - Neither Kakashi or Naruto noticed), but they’ve done quite bit of sealing together, like the fireball that Naruto used his fuuton into, effectively setting many enemies on fire.</span>
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  <span>Naruto expects Orochimaru to turn against them first, seeing as Tsunade follows Danzo down, too, but Orochimaru, unexpectedly, sides with Tsunade and fights the ultimate enemy here. </span>
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  <span>“It’s been a long time, hime,” Orochimaru takes his stance against Danzo, talking to Tsunade. “But at least for now - there’s a shadow who should be long dead.” </span>
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  <span>Tsunade is smart enough to keep her distance from Orochimaru, but the entire village should be happy he chose to fight on their side for now. Sasuke hopes the enemies Ochormaru brought with will for now side with Konoha, too, but he’s terribly mistaken. Most of the monsters and mutations Orochimaru brought aren't luckily above the genin level, some of them chuunin at most, but some of them, like Kimimaro, who ends up fighting some of the chuunin aspirants from Suna, is way above anything but S-ranked criminal himself. Sasuke and Naruto are quick with their techniques to try and protect all those who can't be protected by ANBU’s or jonins, so of course they try to fight their way as close to Orochimaru as they can. Naruto and Sasuke fight the abomination and win, they fight a Juugo monster and win against him, too. Naruto at one point in double combat exchanges his rasen-shuriken for Sasuke’s katana and vice versa, taking Kabuto, Orochimaru’s right hand, by surpirse as Naruto cuts his head off by borrowed Katana and Sasuke uses the rasen-shuriken technique to kill the remaining snakes that try to sneak off the battlefield. </span>
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  <span>For this trick, they deserve a multiple shouts and gasps in disbelief - noone expected them to be this skilled in combat (but Kakashi, who just smirks to himself, killing one enemy with each hand), and while Naruto grins at Shikamaru, who is congratulating him on being extra creepy with his husband, Sasuke pretends he’s busy wiping off the remaining blood on his face so noone would see him blush. They can't really do this combat often, Sasuke can't hold the rasen-shuriken in his hand for longer than a few seconds, but it’s a good trick to distract the enemy. If Kabuto would be any stronger, they wouldn't be able to kill him this easily, But Naruto and Sasuke, only as gennins for now, can use two affanities each combining them together and creating jutsus noone knew are possible. </span>
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  <span>Sasuke has to refrain from using his sharingan after few hours due to chakra exhaustion, and has to face two A-ranked experiments himself, seeing Naruto got in the middle of the Arena, fighting so close to Orochimaru he can probably kick him in the balls if he tries hard enough. Tsunade is aware of her favourite fighting by her side and having her back, and Kakashi (who’s guarding the Daimyo’s and their families, fighting multiple enemies by himself only, but Guy and Asuma are close to him providing backup) can see that too. Naruto is in one word, amazing. He’s on his own, fighting without Sasuke’s strategy, but he is quick to side with Shikamaru and follows his lead, tries his best fighting off multiple enemies and is still able to have Tsunade’s back. </span>
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  <span>Sasuke succeeds in killing two more abominations, on his own joins the elite ANBU unit and follows them to secure two members of Root, who came to protect Danzo, but the rest of Root follows Tsunade’s order. Sasuke is a good help with his shorty activated kekkei gengai for the ANBU team, receiving as much as a thank you by the team captain. The Roots try to fight, but elite ANBU and Sasuke outnumber them, and when Sasuke puts them in a mild genjutsu, the team is able to secure the traitors. Sasuke looks back into the arena, looks for Naruto. He sees his blond head, he senses his chakra, sees he’s okay, but still takes his way back to him, uncomfortable being this far from him during a battle. </span>
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  <span>And as seen, he should have never left. Orochimaru at one point turns around to catch Naruto’s arm unexpectedly and before anyone can do anything at all, be it Sasuke himself, running to defend his blond, be it Tsunade, protecting the child she feels responsible for, be it Kakashi, willing to let the Daimyo’s entire family fall dead, be it exhausted Shikamaru, who retreated to provide strategy and theoretical knowledge, be it severely hurt Kiba, trying to fight off one of the enemy, be it Shino and his family, trying to keep enemies outside arena, be it Hinata and Neji and their family members, who fight to keep the civilian area clear of enemies, be it Sakura, helping the Academy students guard themself, healing the most hurt shinobi of leaf, be it Ino and her father, fighting and negotiating another group of Root to join their side, join Konoha side, be it anyone at all who cares about the future hokage, noone expects what happens next. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Orochimaru throws Naruto before himself, hand on his stomach where the nine tails’ seal is sat, ugly smirk on his face when he tells Danzo: “I didn't want to do it this way. I didn't want to do this. I didn't choose this, Danzo. I came for my share, not to slaughter you all just like Madara did all those years back, using the same technique.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Orochimaru does something to Naruto’s seal and Naruto falls to the ground without a sound, unconscious, as Danzo pulls down his bandages to reveal - what the f- </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh my god. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s, for a single second, stunned silence among the centre of the battlefield - everyone who is close to see, close to witness this… </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever </span>
  </em>
  <span>it is. Multiple sharingans on his arm, and more sharingans on his body, in his eye. This is the kind of service Orochimaru paid his life out with. This is how Danzo is able to manipulate the council. This is why he choose to make a deal with Orochimaru. This is what Kurama was talking about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke screams for Naruto as Orochimaru steps away from his unconscious body. There is red chakra pooling around the blond, enveloping him in something Sasuke has already seen, but not quite like this. There is something evil in this chakra, and Sasuke knows this isn't Kurama. Not really. This is exactly what Kurama was talking about, Danzo is going to use his ugly mutations of sharingans on his body to turn Kurama against the village, pretending it’s the kyuubi who is the demon here, pretending he himself is the good guy who fought off not only Orochimaru, but Kyuubi, too. And then of course Kyuubi will be destroyed, alongside with his jinchuuriki. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All this for the “safety” of this village. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke won’t let that happen. He doesn't - he nees to…! He- he can see Naruto is being lost to Kurama’s chakra. Sasuke tries to run to him, tries to be there as fast as possible, because he knows he can stop this. Kurama doesn't want to kill people, this is all Danzo, it’s all his fault, just like the first time the attack happened, he used fallen Uchiha’s so he could transplant all their sharingans on his body, and then he wanted more, so of course he planned out the entire thing with slaughtering the Uchiha clan. Itachi didn't want to kill their family, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>sent </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do so, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>used</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>manipulated</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>threatened </span>
  </em>
  <span>by Sasuke’s life - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sasuke’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>, whom he loved so much…! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s too many enemies. Too many dead or injured bodies. He’s too far, he can't get to Naruto in time. He can see the omnious, heavy, dark red, dangerous and giant form of the fox demon - Kurama, who is once again betrayed by a sharingan bearer. Sasuke is tired, nearly out of chakra, but he can see Danzo sealing, he can sense him going to kill Naruto without mercy, without any doubt in his mind he’s thinking he’s doing the right thing. Tsunade is trying her best to fight Orochimaru now, she thinks this is all his fault - and she isn't exactly wrong. She’s yelling at a few of her ANBU who are under multiple genjutsu. So many sharingans aren't easy to beat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is losing it, he’s desperate, he knows his best friend, the love of his life, is dying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is the last one thing he can do - he focuses on the last remining bits of his chakra, he focuses his sharingan, jumps up and tries to catch Kurama’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s… he’s in a cave. Kurama stands behind the bars that have one more, different seal on them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurama,” Sasuke says, broken and tired. There’s Naruto lying on the ground and Sasuke runs to him. “How do we stop it?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uchiha,” Kurama says and it sounds just as broken. “He’s dying.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know!” Sasuke yells, hysterical and desperate. “We have to stop it! We have to - you have to-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can't do anything, Uchiha,” Kurama tells him. “I am out of power.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto,” Sasuke touches his hand, holds him in his arms and tries to aim for a pulse. “Naruto, wake up, please!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The seal,” Kurama says silently. “You have to take away the seal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke isn't thinking. The thought of Kurama lying doesn't even cross his mind. He has no time, Naruto is dying, the village is going to be destroyed, he’s about to die, too. He goes for it and tries to destroy it, but can't. “I - I can't - it’s not….!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need… to use sharingan,” Kurama explains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You hate it. I promised I won't ever use sharingan on you,” Sasuke reminds him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto is dying. I let you have the power, but remember. You use it against me, and I’ll use him against you,” he looks at the blond boy in Sasuke’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke knows he’s running out of time. He knows Danzo outside is probably killing people using Kurama. He has no choice. “Sharingan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can feel it, first. Power. Red, immeasurable, burning, </span>
  <em>
    <span>challenging </span>
  </em>
  <span>power that’s absorbing him whole. He feels drunk on so much power, he’s so strong, he’s never felt anything this indescribable in his entire life. He sees Danzo from above, controlling the shape Kurama’s chakra is taking, as he says, “go after his eyes,” and his voice isn’t his. Then suddenly, he loses the power, finding himself again in the cave, seeing unconscious Naruto and broken Kurama. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What - what had happened?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s stronger than you, young Uchiha. His power over me is stronger than yours.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke holds Naruto so close to his body he’s scared he’ll hurt the kid.  There’s not enough chakra in his body, so he focuses all what is left of him instead, his love, his will to live, his trust in Naruto and their friendship, and he lets it all out, as he uses his sharingan once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The power is nearly too strong. It’s burning his skin, his eyes, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>soul</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he stays in. He sees the ANBU and elite shinobi fighting Danzo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The power is mine!” Danzo yells angrily, when he recognizes the demon is no longer in his possession anymore. “And so is the Kyuubi!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurama,” Sasuke says in Kyuubi’s demonic deep voice. “His name is Kurama. And he chose to ally with Naruto.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke seals, using the strongest jutsu he’s capable off, and focusing all of the power he feels the demon has against the Shadow, blinding everyone, shaking the whole ground. He knows Danzo is dead, he couldn't survive the power he was struck with. Sasuke feels like he’s gonna faint, and his sharingan gives up. He ends up on the ground, with Naruto safely in his arms. When he looks up, the cave, the seal, the bars and Kurama… are gone. There is a severely injured Tsunade nearby, and completely startled Orochimaru. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Danzo is dead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Orochimaru uses this chaos to his own advantage, and flees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade is hurt but alive, most of the ANBU fighting close are, too. There are multiple dead bodies, some of them are Leaf shinobi. There is blood, ruins, dust and chaos and people running around and enemies surrendering - but some of them try to still fight and win. There are people losing consciousness due to chakra exhaustion. There are medics sprinting everywhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke,” Naruto mumbles in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks down, makes sure Naruto is alive and well, ducks down and in a heat of this moment holds him right back up to his body, nosing at his cheeks, nose, eyes and chin and hair, he’s rubbing his entire body, seeing for injuries, for further damage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh-Sasuke,” Naruto giggles when Sasuke tickles his tummy, making sure the seal is right where it should be. “I’m okay. I was… I heard you, when we were with Kurama. I was forced to come down, but I… I was there, I know what you did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't want to,” Sasuke whispers. “I didn't want to… use my eyes against him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn't,” Naruto smiles. “He gave you his power willingly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he did?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The chakra you destroyed Danzo with was Kurama’s,” Naruto explains and tries to get up. Sasuke helps him up but doesn't let him go. “He took it as personal revenge.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't blame him,” Sasuke chuckles. “How are you feeling?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, good. I’m fine, the seal Orochimaru set is gone. Kurama is okay, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke smiles at his friend and wishes he could kiss him. Naruto is way too dear to him to be… No, Sasuke can't even think about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elite ANBU went after Orochimaru and even Kakashi would follow the snake, but Sasuke and Naruto stopped him. They needed him here. Tsunade was injured, and with Shikaku working on the damage, counting the deaths and taking care of all remaining shinobi, Kakashi needed to be here as a political substitute till Tsunade gets better. Kakashi then rushes to his students, hugging Naruto so close and so hard Sasuke can hear his rbs cracking. But he understands, he was the same few minutes ago. Releasing Naruto from his another bear hug, he holds both of their shoulders and tells them: </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Without the two of you, this would be the end of the village.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks up, and there is something so strong, so heavy in his expresion, Kakashi can't help but leans down and holds Sasuke in his strong arms, tugs him under his chin and squeezes him tight to his muscled chest just like he did a few minutes ago to Naruto. This is the first bear hug, the most physical contact they ever had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi never thought this would be an option for them, and Sasuke thought the same, yes, but in a slightly different meaning. He’s heard Cat, he’s heard all the talks. He knows it directly from Kakashi, too. He lost everyone. Every single person he ever loved was dead and gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke and Naruto, and maybe Sakura, too, was all he had left, and today Kakashi was scared he’d lost them, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke softly sniffles into Kakashi’s teared uniform; there’s way too much sweat and dirt and blood, but he holds out both of his hands and firmly hugs his teacher back, right around his neck. Kakashi would never admit there are tears of relief and happiness running down his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stands there, watching their moment, with a happy smile on his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good things are good, Kurama,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks to himself, gently rubbing at his seal. He wonders if the fox can hear his thoughts, at least when they are directed to him. He feels his seal slightly heavier, like the demon is purring near the bars and maybe he is. Naruto smiles and enjoys the moment between Sasuke and Kakashi, till it lasts. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Single mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been three days after Danzo’s death and Orochimaru’s failed coup d’etat, if you could call it that. Every shinobi able to stand on both legs and summon as much as decent amount of chakra was on foot, on patrol, chasing and hunting down enemies, tracking Orochimaru himself, interrogating Root ANBU, taking care of children and civilians, helping with dead bodies and injured people all around Konoha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade is yet to wake up and after three days, even Kakashi is worn out enough to give his position up, even with Shizune’s, Shikaku’s and Iruka’s help. Everyone is needed, even the gennins who were robbed off the opportunity to become chuunins for now. Naruto gets chosen for a mission with two other jonins to try and catch one group of experiments, who are now plundering small villages near Konoha, while Sasuke is needed back in the village, trusted to guard the main tower and the temporary hokage in office. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course there is a fight over this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving without Sasuke,” Naruto says with a straight face, not fighting, not annoyingly demanding. It’s a flat, serious sentence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi hates this, but he has to speak as a supervisor: “Are you aware you are refusing to follow hokage’s direct orders?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Naruto agrees, firm, confident, aware. “I’m also aware I get executed for such an act.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, you won't get-!” Kakashi gets beyond himself, falters, and then pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. “Ugh. Okay. Wow, no, I can't do this job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let.. me try,” Shikaku stands then, trying his luck with the stubborn as a buffalo kid. His son told him enough to understand the basics, when it comes to this child. Don't force him into something he doesn't want to do, don't treat him as a stupid kid. He’s tentative, intuitive, and intelligent - explain it to him, prove yourself aa a worthy counselor, and he’ll follow your advice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, do you understand the situation we are all in right now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't answer, but stands still, his eyes following Shikaku, obviously willing to hear him out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Konoha was attacked by enemies in our city, yes. But Konoha was attacked also differently. Our integrity and sovereignty was questioned and therefore not only Konoha, but the entire land of Fire is vulnerable to outside world, to our other enemies, and needs to be protected. Multiple of our ninjas are dead or injured beyond immediate help in our thing and we need everyone in their preferable spot. I had to accept I am needed here, no matter now much I want to be in the hospital, where my wife fights for her life, and Shikamaru is still unconscious after his chakra exhaustion and injuries, as you know. But I chose to be a shinobi of Leaf, and I have to follow orders my supervisors give me. Now, out of necessity, I was chosen to be the supervisor alongside Kakashi, and none of us is happy about this position, but we agreed to do this, for we have to protect those who can't protect themselves - our families, our children, the children of this village, the future of land of Fire. Just as Kakashi and I, you and Sasuke are amazing in shared combat, we’ve seen as much. But you are also respectable shinobi on your own, powerful beyond chuunin ranks. We need Sasuke here, because his sharingan and his taijutsu is needed here, but your multi clone jutsus and your chakra and power of words are needed elsewhere.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are being separated for the purposes of this village,” Naruto concludes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi knows exactly what Naruto is thinking - the exact same thing Sasuke told him so many months ago - </span>
  <em>
    <span>how do you dare to tell me to fight for the village, when the village never fought for me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was why he wanted to talk to Naruto first, hoped him will be easier to talk to. Shikaku doesn't have to be told what to do, he knows what Naruto is initiating, too, and honestly, he doesn't blame him for it. Not after he personally was treated like dirt, or ignored completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m asking you to help those who helped you. I’m asking you to understand the position we are in. If… if you decide to go against our orders, of course you won't be… you won't be <em>executed</em>, that's not… no. But you might… find it difficult later in life to be trusted by your comrades, but also the future hokages. You might also find it difficult to go higher in the ranks of shinobi, if you refuse your help. That’s your decision to make, Naruto. Noone can do this decision for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is silent for a while and not even Kakashi can tell what he is thinking. The only thing he knows for sure, if Naruto won't agree to help them, Tsunade is going to be forced to having them followed again. And if Naruto and Sasuke are going to feel uncomfortable in this village, they might flee. With Akatsuki and probably Madara still alive, Kakashi is sure the two of them and the kyuubi could be force of unforeseen power and determination. They can become legendary nukenin, overshadowing  all Akatsuki alliances, even with Madara among them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi knows everything will be decided at this moment. If Naruto chooses not to follow this order, Kakashi is going to be forced to choose between the village he lost everything to, and the only two people he’s got left in this world - and he himself isn't sure he’ll choose to stand against his two students. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am to separate from Sasuke to keep Kakashi and Tsunade guarded, and a group of burglars held responsible for their actions on innocent people,” Naruto speaks after a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Shikaku agrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto then moves closer to Shikaku and holds his hand out: “I’m ready to accept this mission. Please let Sasuke know I’ll be back at noon in two days.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi was never this relieved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto?” Shikaku addresses him, when Naruto takes the assignment scroll. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I think I’ve never officially apologized, which is unfair. I… I apologize for ever doubting you, and for ignoring and neglecting you, too. I’m sorry I followed what I saw as a norm. It was a mistake because I see we were all wrong, now. You are smart, and intelligent, and you and Sasuke saved us in the arena, you know. You… </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>saved us, Naruto. And I’m… you saved Shikamaru’s life, too. I’ll never forget this, and I'll never stop being thankful for you being born, and being part of the Leaf shinobi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks at Kakashi, then back at Shikaku: “Thank you for your apology. It makes my interaction with the older generation easier. Don't thank me for Shikamaru’s life, I’ll always save him, just like all of my friend, all the people I trust. As for the village, no need to thank me. Kurama saved you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns to leave them, slightly bows his head to Kakashi, who does posses the temporary position of hokage, and leaves with no sign. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did he learn the teleportation jutsu?!” Shikaku realizes with horror in his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been going through the secret scrolls everytime he makes Tsunade drink so much she falls asleep on the table. Then he sneaks Sasuke in and they study the secret and forbidden jutsus,” Kakashi explains with a sigh. “They found most of the techniques Minato had here, secret or forbidden.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you let them?! Kakashi, do you realize how <em>dangerous</em> that is?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What you just did was dangerous,” Kakashi points out. “Naruto could easily just choose to stay with Sasuke, and I don't think you realize how damaging that would turn out for this country, for this village. And anyway, most of the scrolls they found here had their copies at the Uchiha compound. They are just easier to decode those copies that are here, obviously Uchiha’s are paranoid with their documents. ...And honestly, I don't blame them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shikaku isn't any calmer at this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But thank you for the apology. I have you know though, Sasuke isn't as easy to forgive,” Kakashi warns him. “And as easy to talk to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I’ve ever done any wrong to Sasuke,” Shikaku doesn't follow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi as far as snorts: “Bold of you to assume Sasuke doesn't take the wrongs done by your generation towards Naruto personally.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shikaku might have underestimated the power of their friendship. “They used to hate each other, a few years back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi smiles in memory of those times. “They never hated each other, Shi. Trust me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shikaku rolls his eyes: “You kids, with your feelings and opinions.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smile on Kakashi’s face becomes genuine for a while, before he reaches for the book he’s famous for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, ‘kashi? Seriously? Even here, in the Office, the sacred place, you go and read your porn?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gayporn, to be precise,” Kakashi corrects him with a sly smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shikaku actually stutters, before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, fine, you were right earlier, you can't do this job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Kakashi sits down and throws his legs on the hokage table, still reading. “I’m actually getting used to this." <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did you…,” Shikaku knows he’s going to regret this, but this is his friend - and he doesn't have many of them. “Agh, screw this. When did you even switch to gayporn, anyway?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm? I never switched,” Kakashi retorts without looking up. “I was just given a… lecture, from a person whom I deeply respect.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke enters the room at this exact moment, when Kakashi ads: “I decided about my fate a long, long time ago.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke (who heard most of the conversation that matters to this issue, enough to know Kakashi is talking about him, and about the conversation they had a few months ago about Sasuke falling in love with Naruto, and about Kakashi loving Obito for all of his adult life) bows his head respectfully at Kakashi, regarding this exact conversation. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Making friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wanted to see me, hokage-sama?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke’s voice is deep, even and professional. Where Naruto is tentative, Sasuke is observant. Where Naruto gets serious, Sasuke gets defensive. And where Naruto gets pissed, Sasuke doesn't waste his time speaking, already forming a plan of attack. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Don't,” Kakashi waves his feet, yaoi in hand. “I’m not to become one.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Liar,” Sasuke sneers, but it's a banter for a good measure. Sasuke is still a bit shaken from their encounter at the end of the attack of Konoha, and it still was only a few days. Kakashi and Sasuke went on silent about the hug, about the desperation they both felt. This is the first time they are eye to eye and nearly private. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I need you to stay in the village and guard Tsunade and the main office.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke doesn't seem to go against this order, and Kakashi isn't ready to die quite yet, so he decides to add: “I sent Naruto for a mission with ANBU and jonin squad.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke’s sharingan is quick in his eyes and if Kakashi wasn't ready for this, he might have been seriously injured now. “Why.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikaku is smart enough to not interfere in this. Sasuke is a force of nature, he doesn't take orders from anyone. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Because I don't trust anyone else to guard Tsunade, my own sore ass and this office, and I don't trust anyone else to follow the moral code for his mission needed than Naruto.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke watches his sensei with a certain amount of pride; look at that fucker. Sitting here like he owns it, with some gayporn to keep him company, obviously pissing his right hand man off, not taking this post seriously enough. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I trust your judgement, Kakashi. No matter how things are in our personal lives, I trust you as a shinobi, and I trust you as my sensei.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>This is the best compliment Kakashi would ever ask for. He as much as looks his student in the eye and gently nods. “Keep the compliments for your husband.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke offers a smirk that has just a slight blush to it, and bows his head slightly further -and before he takes his leave, he turns around and says an observant: “Suits you well.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“As if you’d ever accept me as a Hokage,” Kakashi can't help but point out. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke leaves without answering, but even Kakashi can guess the half smile, half smirk on his face. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> You’d be surprised how easily, Kakashi, I would accept you as more than that.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke was even less ready for Naruto to leave his side for a mission outside the village than Naruto himself, but all things considered, this might be a good thing. Shikamaru and him, in the future, are planning on becoming Naruto's closest people while he becomes the hokage, and as such, Sasuke will be probably Naruto’s most trusted, maybe even an ANBU supervisor, or something like that, while Shikamaru will stay in the office with Naruto, too important to be risked in an open battle. Sasuke should get used to spending time without his beloved one and only. </p><p>
  
</p><p>(Interesting thing about this, about Sasuke thinking now about the future, is, there is nowhere there the path he was born for - the avenger, the cold one, the prodigy of the most important clan of Konoha. And also this, Naruto and him staying as close as possible, even if Naruto never reciprocates his feelings.) </p><p>
  
</p><p>But still, he looks up to the sky. He still hoped he’ll get at least his famous grin, all teeth and dimples, confident young man on his leave to protect the village, before leaving. And Naruto…? Would he miss him? Would he think about Sasuke’s smile, too? </p><p>
  
</p><p>The Uchiha found himself blushing and deep in his thoughts as he found himself at Shikamaru’s hospital room. The boy was still unconscious, which Naruto was still deeply worried about, and Sasuke finally understood and accepted Shikamaru wasn't bonding only with Naruto, when he spent time with them. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I’d use one of our conversations, now, you know,” Sasuke whispers to the unconscious genius, as he sits down next to his bed. Naruto spends most of his time here, as much as lying on Shiki’s bed, close, intimate, slightly touching - just like they are after their famous night strolls - they find a piece of warm grass, usually somewhere close to the village centre, lying close, sometimes holding hands. Most of their time, they are silent, sometimes they speak. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I wasn't comfortable with… sharing Naruto with you, at first,” Sasuke speaks slowly, watching the boy’s unmoving face. “I… jealous isn't the right word for this, although I did feel that, too. It was more of… I could see…, ah,” Sasuke actually smirks. “You probably think you are so subtle, but I can see it in your eyes. I can see how you are looking at him, you know. And while I wasn't sure what… what that means, between you and me and him, you… I’m glad. I’m glad now, because we have you. And… I know what you’d say, I know… I know that - ah,” the laughter is more prominent now, “Hear me? I speak… I speak just like him, now, don't I. I guess you are right, and it’s… I’m mirroring him, just like all couples tend to.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru stays unconscious. Sasuke, after a while of hesitation, reaches out and gently touches Shiki’s hand with his fingers. Takes his hand in his. Squeezes his fingers, lacing them with Shikamaru's heavy, unmoving ones.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I was mad at you, for a while,” Sasuke admits after a while. “You were so effortless with him. You taught him things I was unable to, and you were excellent at it. You still are. You know, he considers you his most trusted, right? Always takes your advice, without second though. Mine he questions, challenges; but yours? He follows without a word, just like in action. And while I was… I didn't want you to. To have this influence on him. But you had, and now, after all the time, I can tell… I’m glad. I’m glad you are here for him, for us. And I’m also glad you… you look at him in that way, too. I have to say, it kind of grounds me.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru’s unmoving body is a dead weight in Sasuke’s mind. The medics say he’s gonna be just fine when he recollects enough chakra to wake up, but it’s been what, three, five days? Sasuke is worried. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I want him to be hokage. I want you right by his side in the office to calm his fire, when it all becomes too much. I want you by his side in international affairs.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I want you to be on his side in personal affairs.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke has to look up to make sure. Then he can't stop the happy smile on his face: “A secret pervert?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Shouldn't spend so much time with Kakashi,” Shiki’s voice rattles and Sasuke holds out a glass of water for him. Shikamaru accepts with a silent ‘thank you’ and drinks it whole. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke slowly lets go of Shikamaru’s fingers, but Shiki catches him. “I mean it.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>The prodigy averts his eyes - Shikamaru’s aware of his feelings for Naruto, he has been the whol time. But this could easily become a weird love triangle Sasuke had no interest in. Shikamaru had that look in his eyes whenever he saw Naruto and sometimes, Naruto was looking right back, with a similar one. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“This choice is not mine to make,” Sasuke says. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru snorts. “As he could ever choose anyone else, anyway.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“He could choose you.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke is genuine, and Shikamaru actually falters, not sure how to answer that. It takes him minutes of holding and playing with Sasuke’s fingers in his, before answering, somewhat: “I think… I think he made his decision somewhere between the Cat and the forest of Death.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke has the decency to blush, and Shikamaru is a good enough friend not to call him on it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I'll tell him soon, I think,” Sasuke whispers. “No matter…” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru nods. About time, if you ask him. “Hn.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“How… how do I… how do I tell him? How do I… how do I make sure he understands properly?” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh, my dear friend,” Shikamaru laughs and then coughs a bit. “I think you are asking the wrong person here.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke guesses where the wind is blowing from, and he does not like it. Not even a bit. “No.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru laughs and coughs a bit more and Sasuke gives him more water. Shikamaru accepts, and after he drowns the second cup, he laughs without coughing: “I wish I could see that.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh you wish, you little fucker,” Sasuke snickers, but it’s in good measure. “There’s no way I’ll ask Kiba about how to confess!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“I think you’d be surprised,” Shikamaru tells him, still slightly amused. “At how competent he can be, when it comes to being in love. And because he has nearly no shame, he’ll try to help you, genuine and himbo like he is.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“He’s… he,” Sasuke shakes his head. “No.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Because he said some homophobic slurs when he was a child? C’mon, Sasuke,” Shiki rolls his eyes and lays a bit down again. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Not because of that,” mostly because of that. “I mean… we aren't close.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“After me, you are the closest to him from our generation. Accept his himbo self and try it out. He’s a lot like Naruto, when you get to know him.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke rolls his eyes and gets up. He pauses, then leans down and brings his forehead to Shiki's, a gesture Naruto does to all his friends. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru holds him down by his shoulder, the postponed fear of Konoha being attacked still haunting him, seeing Naruto lose consciousness in the battlefield, seeing Sasuke shaking and crying in Kakashi’s arms, this all had an impact on the genius, too. Sasuke understands, comes closer and holds Shikamaru in a half hug, as close as he can without hurting him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Thank you for waking up,” Sasuke tells him. “I’m not ready to lose any of the few friends Naruto made me to make.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Shikamaru chuckles and holds the Uchiha closer, squeezing him, before letting go. Sasuke straightens his back: “I’ll send your father and your friends it.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Give me a few hours? I’m not ready for the hurricane that is Ino.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Sasuke chuckles and nods. It’s the least he can do for his friend. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Taking an advice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>In the hallway he meets Sakura. She’s wearing gloves, there is a bit of blood on her clothes, and she looks a bit disturbed. </p><p> </p><p>“Sakura,” Sasuke greets her. </p><p> </p><p>“How is Shiki?” </p><p> </p><p>“He’s… fine, looked good, I think he’ll wake up soon,” Sasuke opts. </p><p> </p><p>“I really hope so. I was just with Koketsu - I was barely able to save his arm. It will take time, but he’ll be okay. There’s two more Root who need immediate care, but we need help. And also, lady Tsunade is still…” </p><p> </p><p>“Any sign of her getting better?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, slight. We think she’ll be okay, but it will take time. Sasuke… Konoha is in danger. We are deeply hurt, most of our shinobi aren't fit enough for combat, and this news will be quick to spread. Other big countries might use this and come for their share of what’s left of Konoha. We are without a leader, and as such, we are vulnerable. We need to set more patrols and more people to the gates to make sure no spies can enter our village.” </p><p> </p><p>She was, as per usual, right. “I’m sure Kakashi knows what he’s doing.” </p><p> </p><p>“Really,” Sakura asks, bemused. “You, of all people, trust Kakashi in anything?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve always trusted him,” Sasuke ensures. “I had personal issues with him ditching Naruto for personal grief. Also for one more thing regarding his Sharingan and from whom this gift was, and their relationship, but I always trusted his instinct, and always knew he’s one of Leaf’s best.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura is silent for a while, before saying: “Is he… okay? I know there were deaths among ANBU. I just… he spent a lot of time with them, and I’m sure at least one of them… was his friend.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke raises his brows. “If… If he knows, and If he was, I couldn't tell.” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura nods. “Maybe he doesn't even know, yet.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke offers his goodbye when they reach the first floor, Sakura continues in the hallway to take care of more patients, and Sasuke.. well. <em> Fuck </em> this entire thing, <em> fuck </em> Shiki, and <em> fuck </em>Kiba. </p><p> </p><p>Fucking <em> fuck </em>it. </p><p> </p><p>He actually does go to the compound, finding Kiba taking care of Akamaru, who got hurt during the fight. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, war hero,” Kiba greets him, he himself severely hurt. Sasuke can see stitches, some burn marks, and there are crutches nearby, for his ankle got broken. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Sasuke comes closer, not sure how to even approach this issue. </p><p> </p><p>“Didn't see him,” Kiba says, turning back to Akamaru. “He’s probably close to the office.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hn?” </p><p> </p><p>“Naruto,” Kiba explains. “You are looking for him, eh?” </p><p> </p><p>“Wh- no, no, I’m here… Naruto left the village for a mission with ANBU and I’m here to guard the officials and all.” </p><p> </p><p>“Really? Like, real mission with ANBU? Wow, good for that kid,” Kiba smirks. “Pure talent, that one, right.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, he’s… well. Shikamaru and I think Naruto is the best option for next Hokage. Apparently, Kakashi thinks so, too. This is more of a… diplomatic mission, I think.” </p><p> </p><p>“Got good mouth, that kid,” Kiba agrees. “If you guys think he’s the right choice, noone can tell otherwise, can we?” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba looks at him then, showing off his fangs. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke nods, and then takes a place next to Kiba, letting Akamaru sniff him, then gently pats his neck. “Is he okay?” </p><p> </p><p>“We got pretty fucked up, ya see, aha,” Kiba smirks. “But we are good. Akamaru got few stitches, too, but he’s doing okay.” </p><p> </p><p>“And you? Saw… I saw you when you fell, and when that big guy got you. I only saw Choji helping you out.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that guy saved my life, I didn't… there was so many people, so many scents. I saw the one on my right, but didn't see one more coming straight for my head. Blind spot, or what, I don't know. Next thing I know I’m in the hospital, and Hinata told me Naruto and you saved the village.” </p><p> </p><p>“It… wasn't as easy,” Sasuke mumbles. “And… it was Kurama, who saved us all.” </p><p> </p><p>“So it’s true!” Kiba yells in excitement. “Kyuubi actually talks to Naruto, and can fight with him?!</p><p> </p><p>“Calm down,” Sasuke sneers. “Yes, It… it is.” </p><p> </p><p>“How did it happen? What happened? Tell me!” </p><p> </p><p>Shiki was right. This stupid fucking himbo is <em> exactly </em>like early years Naruto. Only not as cute, or handsome, or blueeyed, or wholehearted, or sunkissed, or Sasuke’s. </p><p> </p><p>Ugh. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… I’m not sure I can tell you. We… honestly, not even Naruto and I know what exactly happened. Kurama doesn't talk to us often.” </p><p> </p><p>“How do you communicate with him, anyway?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke points to his eyes in a quick motion. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, I see. So when Danzo used Sharingan, it was to manipulate kyuubi - Kurama, yes, sorry - and you overpowered him?” </p><p> </p><p>“I tried, and trust me, it wasn't easy. And then Kurama himself helped, and killed Danzo.” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba is silent for a while. “I don't even wanna think what would happen if Kurama wasn't… you know. If he didn't want to help.” </p><p> </p><p>You and me both, my friend. </p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, what brings you here?” Kiba changes the subject suddenly. </p><p> </p><p>“I… eh.” </p><p> </p><p>Okay, no. He can't do that, no. </p><p> </p><p>“Is it about Naruto?” Kiba guesses. </p><p> </p><p>“...yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Anything I might help with?” </p><p> </p><p>Oh for fucks sake, just <em> fuck it. </em> “Shikamaru says you are actually good with… ehm. Telling… a person… about your feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba smirks to himself, before speaking to his dog: “Ah, mister Uchiha is finally ready to confess to Naruto, Akamaru. What do they say about the four horsemen of the apocalypse?” </p><p> </p><p>“Haha.” Sasuke blushes, but for a himbo, Kiba stays weirdly understanding. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s Naruto. You have to be as open as an Uchiha can be.” </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, such help,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Kiba turns his head to face him, to look him in the eye and Sasuke has a feeling he’s searching his soul, sharingan be damned. That kid had ominous eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I think… Naruto doesn't know that what he feels is love, you see. He didn't… he doesn't know there are words for many things. I think he knows love, and knows what he feels, but doesn't know those two things are one and the same. You are good at explaining things to him, maybe you should do the same. Explain the difference he feels for his friend, for you. Explain love as you… as you feel it. Forget about all the “i love you” shit. Tell him your way, tell him the way you two communicate with one another. I know… I know you have a language on your own. </p><p> </p><p>Don't dramatize it - I assure you he feels the same. I can smell it on him, sometimes.” </p><p> </p><p>“You can - you can do <em> what </em>, now?” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba laughs and explains: “Some emotions give scent, like fear, or arousal - those are the most prominent, but not the only ones. I can smell how you get anxious when you are around people and Naruto is more than ten yards away. And I can feel how he inclines to you. I can feel the codependency between you. It’s no secret, by the way.” </p><p> </p><p>“What is,” and Sasuke knows he’s obvious, okay. He knows. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you,” Kiba shrugs. “Being in love, the two of you. Everyone can tell. There is a bet going on between us, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>“A bet,” Sasuke deadpans. </p><p> </p><p>“Hn, yes. Ino insists Naruto will say something disturbing and kiss you out of nowhere, preferably in public. Choji thinks noone will know you are dating, you’ll just one day wear rings. Shikamaru says you two are dumb, but you are dumber, so you will stay silent for years, Naruto finds someone else, then you’ll murder them and finally claim Naruto as yours.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke feels deeply offended by Shikamaru¨s opinion, but he finds it the most likely, nonetheless. “And you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hn?” </p><p> </p><p>“What is your bet?” </p><p> </p><p>“Mine was you one day blurt it out, without thinking about it. You just will, in one of your cuddle sessions.” </p><p> </p><p>“Our cu- what?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh please,” Kiba rolls his eyes. “My nose can tell you basically share one scent, okay.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke shakes his head and looks down to cover his blushing face. “Whatever.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Kiba smiles and puts his hand on his shoulder. “No judgement here, yeah? I get it. I from the bottom of my heart, wish you both the best, because together, you are an unstoppable force. And you proved this to everyone, and mostly to yourselves.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke falls silent after that, and Kiba lets his shoulder go to go back to combing Akamaru’s fur. </p><p> </p><p>“Blurt it out, huh?” Sasuke asks then, with a small smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, yeah,” Kiba shrugs. “You both.. are there. It’s just one of you has no idea, and the other one obviously has issues with emotions.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke takes this for the joke Kiba meant, and gently bumps his shoulder into Kiba’s. The boy laughs out loud. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, you know.” </p><p> </p><p>Kiba shakes his head: “Nah, you’re welcome, you know. I’d never guess you’d… actually come to me for a talk.” </p><p> </p><p>“People change,” Sasuke offers and gets up. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah - yeah I guess they do,” Kiba agrees, obviously a bit lost in thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke leaves the Inuzuka compound, and still wears his blush, thinking about what Kiba said. Does really everyone know he’s in love with the blond…? </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Sasuke is thinking about it for the whole night guarding Tsunade’s personal room, the Office, Kakashi while working. And when it’s nearly time for Naruto coming back from the mission, Sasuke is headed to the gates. He can't wait for his blond, he can't wait to squeeze him in his arms, to have him to himself, to talk to him, to touch him, to ask him how his mission was, to have some tea with him, to help to take a patrol at the west gate together. He missed the boy, missed him so much, so when he sees him coming from the forest, he actually goes past the gates, coming for him. When Naruto spots him, he walks quicker, and when Sasuke notices, he quickens, too, and within seconds they are running towards each other, meeting in the middle in a forceful, hard and way too painful hug. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He squeezes Naruto in his arms, looking for injuries, but Naruto only laughs. “Gods, I missed you so much.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't speak just yet. He doesn't want Kiba to win in the bet. (He kind of wants Shikamaru to win. He’d love to see the suicidal <em>imbecille</em> who’d put themselves between Sasuke and Naruto. And then kill them without hesitation.) </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke.” </p><p> </p><p>“Mine.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto giggles - there’s a little blood on his shoulder, but the cut isn't that deep. “Yours,” he agrees easily. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke doesn't like it, but Kiba will probably win. Soon. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were still hunting down the remaining enemies and experiments Orochimaru brought with to the attack. They helped build the arena and the parts of their village that were ruined. They kept patrols and were still training, waiting for Tsunade to wake up and take her duties of Hokage again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were always around people, hunting down experiments, training, watching over younger kids, keeping their friends company. They were with Sakura for the whole afternoon today after a three day combat mission, and Naruto didn't expect Sasuke to endure it for such a long time, so he really expected it by the time Sasuke called by their gesture for retreat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, thanks,” Sasuke flushes red and holds his friend’s hand tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Naruto grins and caresses the back of his hand with his thumb. “What are the plans now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke shrugs: “My place?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… getting dark and -!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleep over,” Sasuke murmurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dead silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an unspoken rule for this: They never sleep in each other's houses for a reason. Sasuke is a very private person, and also a very </span>
  <em>
    <span>guarded </span>
  </em>
  <span>person. Naruto knows he has nightmares, knows he probably never had a friend in his house - not even when the family was still alive. And Naruto respected this unspoken rule, because… well, he could help Sasuke only when the boy was willing, when he wanted to. Naruto knew there’s no way he’d make Sasuke do something he didn't really want.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But after the attack, after using Kyuubi’s power, after the mere thought of losing Naruto to the Shadow… he had right about enough of keeping any boundaries between them. Any at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’ll tell Naruto soon about his feelings. He kinda hopes he wouldn't have to, considering Naruto’s observing skills. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Naruto agrees warily. “If you are sure I won't be a bother to you…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you won't. I… I’ll just. I’ll just…” Sasuke doesn't know what exactly to say, but that's okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't have to explain yourself,” Naruto reminds him. “You want to stay with me through the night, and I want the same. That's all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't speak, just holds his hand tighter and speeds up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-hey, Sasuke… everything okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… I just want to be… home,” Sasuke tells him, something urgent in his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are-are you okay? Something wrong?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No… no, just. Wanna…” have you alone for myself. I missed you. I need your touches, your attention, your hugs, I need you close without witnesses. “Just… tired.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Socially tired, I am aware,” Naruto smiles reassuringly and sped up so they reached the compound in a minute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s been here a few times already, looking into scrolls, spending an afternoon, sparing, having lunch in the garden, lazing around. But it’s the first time he came with the intention to sleep over, to witness Sasuke at his most vulnerable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are there any scrolls to look into?” Naruto asks when going through the gates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is something ominous about this place; something that happened a long, long time ago - and not with Itachi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not necessarily,” Sasuke leads the way to the house he lives in (different one than the one his parents and closest family was slaughtered in). “I have Kakashi looking at one of the seals. I’m waiting for his report on it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m really proud you asked his help. He… I know you don't trust him, not really, and you haven't really forgiven him. But I’m still proud of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi has got this thing going on, where he still carries and drags around and holds by his armpits Naruto, but he’s closer to Sasuke now, too, even though he doesn't show it so obviously. They usually talk about things, past and politics and all the things Sasuke can't really talk with Naruto (because he’s not that interested, not because he doesn't know about these issues, and also because some things he knows from Tsunade and feels are confidential, so he shares them with Shiki, and noone else - which Sasuke fully understands), but there is also this thing about hugs. He still gives Naruto way more physical attention, but he doesn't forget about Sasuke, not even once. Sasuke gets the more subtle side of affection - he gets his shoulder squeezed, when he’s overboard with something, he gets his hair ruffled slightly when Kakashi sets them off. He gets a hug when Kakashi sees them in a few days, and he gets to sit by Kakashi's side, whenever they are having a pause in training or mission. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s still… uh, it still makes me feel things,” Sasuke whispers. “When you tell me things like this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What things?” Naruto teases. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They established they need words, both of them. They lounge for words of affection and they need to be told they are doing good and that what they feel is okay. They have a sort of routine already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hug you,” Sasuke tells him, slightly embarrassed, but determined. “I really want to hold you and never let go.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They enter Sasuke’s house, finally alone and Sasuke can feel the stress fall from his shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are okay, Sasuke, we are alone here, and you can do and say whatever you want. It’s just me,” Naruto encourages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about I’ll make dinner and you take a shower first?” Sasuke suggests matter-of-factly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke,” Naruto stops here, thinks about what he wants to say, then proceeds with, “if you want to be alone, you can just… send me away. I won't be mad. I can leave for a few hours and come back when you are ready. It’s okay, I understand it’s not personal. If you need space, just tell me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't… need space,” Sasuke lies, but only a little. “I just… I need a second. Not a few hours, I just… I just need a moment. Please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Naruto agrees, but is still alerted. “I… you said you want to hug me, you don't want to anymore?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke bites his lips. It’s not that easy. “I-I do, I just… need a second. I… I’m not sure if I can explain.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't have to explain what’s on your mind exactly, I just… need to know what exactly you need from me right now. I mean, of course, I can leave for a few minutes to take a shower, that's fine, I just want you to know there are other options, too. Do I come closer, hug you? Do I talk it out of you? Should I just hold you and be silent? I can stay right here, at a distance. You can make dinner and I can sit here, just stay in the same room and talk, or just be here silent. I’ll do exactly what you want me to, just say the word.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stares at his best friend in complete adoration. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this sunshine in his life, his sun-kissed savior. He doesn't know whom to thank other than to the boy himself, so he does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… Naruto, you- you have no idea how much you mean to me, do you. How… how are you even… I know I already told you this, but… you became really good with words. With me, per se. You… you know exactly how to handle a situation, and when you don't, you ask for instruction, which is exactly… what I need. And you did this all without anyone ever teaching you, telling you or showing you how to approach traumas or emotional distress and… I just… thank you. Thank you for dealing with me, and helping me. I… I don't think I deserve you, at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You pretty much do deserve every ounce of my obnoxious and annoying ass,” Naruto chuckles and Sasuke takes a step back, but offers a timid smile, too. “Oh, I’m… I’m making you uncomfortable now. Okay, tell me what you need. This is one of the situations you told me before, right? Where you - where you ask me not to touch you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y...yes. Yes, that’s one of those, yes,” Sasuke agrees, taking one more step back. He can feel it, he can feel the anxiety attack at the brim, he’s about to fall down; he was with people all day, he’s tired, he needs to let go, he needs to be alone, he needs to collect his thoughts, there is another person in his house, he wants him to stay, but the anxiety attack is about to start and Sasuke is frustrated for most part, because he doesn't know why is it happening, why is he feeling like this, he is safe, it’s just Naruto, he can let go with Naruto, he’s not a threat, he’s here to make Sasuke better, Sasuke</span>
  <em>
    <span> loves him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, trusts him, wants him to be here, then </span>
  <em>
    <span>why is this happening?! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is growing worried, there’s urgency in his voice, but he’s not panicking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke, I need you to tell me if you want me to leave because you are embarrassed and scared I’ll think less of you when you break down, or because this is your trauma acting up and you feel better completely alone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s breath is hitching. He doesn't know. He doesn't - he’s not - there’s too much, he can’t decide, he just-! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke, what is causing the attack - me, my presence, someone in your safe space, or something else?” Naruto simplifies for Sasuke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I don't… I don't k-know,” Sasuke manages and takes in a shaky breath, already crying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try and come closer, okay?” Naruto tries, silently, gently and so tenderly Sasuke tries, reaches out and starts sobbing. “Okay, Sasuke, that’s okay. C’mon, come here. That’s okay, I’m glad it’s not me per se who caused this. Shh, let those emotions out, we saw a lot of people, and you had your training before me, and we had a mission before - and you probably missed me, right? You didn't have your hugs for too long, am I right…?” Naruto realizes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, they were still together, but on the mission they didn't have the time and space for anything more than a talk, and there were people around from other teams, too, then the training, and Sasuke didn't properly sleep (he never sleeps on missions, not truly), and the entire afternoon there was Sakura around, and Sasuke still isn't comfortable around her (not even Naruto is, yet, fully). And, of course Sasuke gets a bit overwhelmed, when he finally gets Naruto alone, because he offered too much, he probably wasn't ready for a sleepover, but he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate </span>
  </em>
  <span>for touches and was willing yet again to go out off his comfort zone for it. So it’s not an anxiety attack </span>
  <em>
    <span>because of Naruto</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but because Sasuke doesn't know how to deal with feelings and emotions properly. He missed Naruto, is too socially exhausted, and physically exhausted, too. And now, when he can finally get his silence, Naruto all to himself, and some actual sleep, he got overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, shh, let it all out,” Naruto whispers and gently touches Sasuke’s shoulder to try if a hug is okay, but Sasuke steps away and Naruto gets the message - holding his hand is okay, but he has to keep the distance, can't come closer, can't hug him. Not now, not yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s alright, Sasuke, don’t worry, you’ll finally be alone now, with me to keep you silent company, promise. I’ll hug you and hold you, and you can just breathe in and fall asleep in your bed. Doesn't that sound nice…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn,” Sasuke sniffs, already calming down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? It’s all good now, all good. Don't worry, it’s just me here, yeah? No need to feel embarrassed or anything. Now, what about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>take a shower and I’ll fix us something light to eat?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gives a short nod and Naruto has the strangest feeling - he really wants to lean in and kiss his friend’s cheek. Hn, weird. Really weird. He’ll have to invest into this later, tho, he’s got responsibilities on his shoulders now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise It won't be ramen,” Naruto shouts when Sasuke is already upstairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond can't be sure, but likes to think to himself he heard Sasuke chuckle, or at least snort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He keeps his promise and serves them both </span>
  <em>
    <span>not ramen</span>
  </em>
  <span> about half an hour later. Sasuke emerges from the bathroom slightly pink all over and Naruto hopes he feels better now. And he probably does, because when Naruto asks, Sasuke doesn't speak, he just makes a bee-line for Naruto and hugs him from behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto grins and half turns to try and see the boy, but immediately turns to the frying pan not to make any accident. “I told you before, no need at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tendency to kiss him. Right here, where his blush forms. He just really wants to kiss him, but doesn't. He’s not sure this is appropriate. And definitely not now, when Sasuke is still a bit uneasy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I don't really know what set me off,” he mumbles into Naruto’s back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just like nightmares, I think. You never know what sets those of, either,” Naruto shrugs. “I’m glad you feel better now. Sit down, I’ll be right there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Smells amazing,” Sasuke compliments lazily, tired somehow in a good way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well of course it is,” Naruto agrees. “You were the one who taught me how to cook.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, good job, Sasuke, then,” Sasuke hums and Naruto all but laughs and follows his best friend to the dining table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>True, that was one of the first things Sasuke taught the young Namikaze. And he did good, because Naruto turned out to be an amazing cook, when properly explained how to do it, how it works and what's the outcome. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They eat in silence, and while Sasuke cleans the dishes, Naruto retreats for shower himself, and while Sasuke is content and already excited about getting to sleep next to Naruto in his bed (and trying not to think about how many inappropriate things could happen), Naruto’s mind was a hurricane. Whenever one of Sasuke’s episodes happened he was scared he’s hurting the boy, creating more and more traumas, but it seemed to be the exact opposite so far. Everytime Sasuke cried, there was something that broke in him, made him lighter. He was opening up to Naruto about many things and Naruto loved it, loved how close they were. So when he took one of Sasuke’s pajamas and came back to the main area, he was already getting excited for their first sleepover. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do I sleep, Sasuke?” he asks, eyeing the couch. Looks comfortable enough, if he can get a spare blanket or something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was,” Sasuke looks bewildered suddenly, like that was a question out of blue. “I was thinking… with… me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Naruto understands, getting excited. “Really? Are you sure? Wouldn't I bother you? Will you fall asleep with me this close? I know you never sleep while on mission, I thought it was because of me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do sleep on a mission, dobe,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't call me dobe, teme,” Naruto warns him with an easy smile on his face. “I know you do, but it’s like… you sleep so lightly I as much as breathe and you are awake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s because you snore,” Sasuke tsks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and that. Are you sure you’ll fall asleep with me around?” Naruto asks for the last time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Naruto, I’m sure I’ll fall asleep. Especially if we cuddle,” he murmurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cuddle?” the blond asks. “What… does cuddle mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke falters. Oh. Yeah, of course. “It’s… holding, but… ehm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like we do? Hug and hold each other?” Naruto asks, interested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s more… ehm. You can hold me in public for it being appropriate, for sure. But cuddling is… ehm. Probably not appropriate to the public. It’s nothing sexual!” Sasuke ads immediately. “Has got nothing to do with sex, or… anything like this, it’s just…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto tilts his head to the side, obviously waiting to be impressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… hugging and holding the other while lying down, usually. For unlimited time, like, till we fall asleep or something. And we… you know, it gets… we talk and we are close,” Sasuke tries really hard not to blush and get all awkward and gauche, but fails. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto on the other hand is a tad amused by Sasuke’s obvious want to be physically close to the blond, so much he tears down his barriers, he overcomes his trauma, just for Naruto to be close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Naruto follows Sasuke into his bed, lying down on the side closer to the door. “Come close, then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sasuke does. He crawls to Naruto’s side, hugs his torso and laces their legs so quickly, Naruto snorts. “I never imagined you being this… this affectionate.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good word choice and pronunciation,” Sasuke doesn't forget to praise him. “And… I’m not. Only with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto tries and holds Sasuke how he thinks could be comfortable, and brings Sasuke even closer to himself, lying his head on his shoulder. Sasuke sighs, content. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope I didn't cause… what happened downstairs,” Naruto whispers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you… you didn't, you actually… stopped it. Effectively, really. I… thank you. You are really good with… well, with me. With… what I need, and explaining… options to me, too. About what I wanted from you in that moment, I couldn't… I couldn't really tell, I didn't know what… or why it happened. It was…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were just overwhelmed,” Naruto tells him. “That's okay - I think you are slowly healing like this. Coping with certain things. And, you know, moving on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can't tell his best friend is wrong - he does feel better, lighter, safer. He’s not scared to have Naruto during the night here, because he knows now that if he gets woken up scared, screaming, crying from a nightmare, Naruto will be here, won't judge him, and tries to help him, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really, really like this cuddling thing,” Naruto purrs after a short while of silence. “Can we… can we do this more often?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks up at him - this position is weirdly submissive for Sasuke, Naruto realizes. He also realizes it’s not probably what exactly Sasuke wanted from this, he remembers the sharingan has problems coping when he’s not the dominant one, and for today, Naruto thinks, Sasuke was out of his comfort zone for way too long. So he flips them over, with Sasuke on his back and Naruto curls around him in the most submissive position he can imagine. “I like it a lot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, suddenly in charge of this situation, looks down into Naruto’s eyes and shakes his head in amused disbelief: “How- how are you even real, Naru? How comes you always know how I feel?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were the one who told me my intuition is on point,” Naruto reminds him. “During an attack, but especially with people. You are human, Sasuke. My intuition applies to you, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wants to retort, wants to argue that not, he isn't human, not entirely - but Naruto's right. Sasuke’s trying to be human, more human than he’s ever been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last word,” Naruto reminds him silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don't have to be silent, now,” Sasuke tells him. “We can talk while cuddling.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to tell you how much you mean to me? And how much do I love being this close to you?” Naruto asks and if this was anyone else, they’d ask with teasing tone, make Sasuke embarrassed, made him feel humiliated and he’d back off, throw a fit, closed himself off and suffered in humiliating silence for long time, burying himself in hatred, heavy training, memories and nightmares. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But not Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto asks with serious, genuine eyes, with a tender voice. He asks, because he wants Sasuke to be all coy and bashful and cute, he wants him to feel good, feel welcomed and appreciated. He wants Sasuke to feel at home, happy, settled, safe, comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke does feel embarrassed, but not too much, when he replies with a simple: “Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Naruto beams at him. “Because I can't imagine our cuddles being any good if I couldn't tell you how amazing this feels. You, exactly like this. I’m glad I didn't accidentally hurt you down there. I can't imagine you refusing your hugs because I did you wrong.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke ruffles his hair and chuckles: “I could never, love.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Uh, oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It has been months where Sasuke always stopped himself at the last moment before he said this to his beloved friend. Of course it had to be today when he couldn't really stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Sasuke hates this, but Kiba was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right </span>
  </em>
  <span>all along. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>blurt out shit while cuddling.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Naruto, always the sweetheart, either doesn't think calling your friend “love” is something weird, or he didn't notice, or he did and simply decided to let it slide. “Because I don't think I ever want to live without being able to do this,” he burrows his head to Sasuke’s neck, nesting there. “Without you being close to me whenever I ask you to, helping me out, explaining things to me. There’s noone in this world I trust as I trust you, Sasuke. Noone could ever take your place, and I know for sure now you feel the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Sasuke whispers, stroking his back up and down exactly how Naruto likes it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get so weak when you do this,” Naruto groans. “Like, it’s so nice, you could do this for hours and tell me I’m never to eat ramen, ever, and I’d just, like, smile at you and thank you, probably. Seriously - it’s the best. This, you. You, all calm and a bit lazy, just lying here with me, holding me close and caressing me and letting me do the same for you. Sasuke, you probably shouldn't do this too much, I’m… this really makes me… you know. Way too comfortable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You already told me this once,” Sasuke reminds him. “And I already told you, I don't mind. As long as it is a good feeling, I don't mind you feeling however at all. Even if it is inappropriate.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just,” Naruto shrugs. “I just want… more, I think. When you hold me and allow me to ruffle your hair and touch you and this, this new cuddling thing - this feels amazing, really, because… you were right, it’s way more intimate, somehow. Probably because we’re lying down and we touch way more, and you trust me to stay here while you plan on falling asleep. And because I bring you comfort.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bring you comfort, too,” Sasuke reminds him, smiling coyly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You bring me so much more than that,” Naruto smiles into his neck, so close Sasuke can feel Naruto's lips on his skin. “I just… when we… when we get close, it’s comfortable, and then I somehow… want more. Even now, I’m touching you with most of my body, we are so nice to each other, complimenting one another and all that, and then you start to stroke my back exactly how I love it, and… and I think I can't be happier, and then… then something overcomes me, and I still want more.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Could it… could it be…? Sasuke’s heartbeat speeds up. Could naruto… feel the same, only doesn't realize it’s love? Could it be…? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't let himself hope too much. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, kids. I need help. I have a situation where I have the option to leat the boys to mildly sexual interaction (with one another, not anyoen else, c'mon), and I need to know, if you're interested in reading this, or I should keep their relationship non sexual? Let me know in the comments bellow, thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you guys to everyone who gave their opinion or whether or not their relationship should or should not turn sexual. Most of you agreed on the sexual relationship hapening, but it nees to stay emotional, slow, well explained and understood. For some reason a few of you want at least one of them cry during said sexual scene, and laugh, too. You all kinda want it awkward and obviously two dumb virgin idiots in love figuring shit together. </p><p>We are all a bit twisted i think, if you ask me. </p><p>Believe me or not, but I currently have 6  more chapters prewritten and the "situation" I have the boys in that could lead to sexual scene, is not happening for more than 6 chapters - its the chapter nr 34 that regarded my question. And therefore, please, enjoy this innocent, happy, non sexual chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to feel good,” Sasuke tells him and experimentally strokes his back intensively, holding the boy closer to him, making the touch more tender, and then, in a moment of brain seizure or what, Sasuke lets his hand slip under Naruto’s shirt and strokes his naked back, skin to skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>moans </span>
  </em>
  <span>and holds onto Sasuke for dear life. “Gods, this is the most amazing thing ever. More, please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>there </span>
  </em>
  <span>goes the boner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke actually rolls his eyes over himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck, Uchiha, literally how are you even still alive. Why do you give the boy reasons to moan. Why do you risk him finding out about your boner. Why do you put him into this position - hell, why do you put </span>
  </em>
  <span>yourself </span>
  <em>
    <span>in this position?! Some kind of a twisted </span>
  </em>
  <span>kink</span>
  <em>
    <span>, this kind of torture or what?! Get a grip on yourself - no, not literally!! What the fuck - calm your dick before Naruto notices and politely asks you to take the banana you have in your pants out, because it's considered rude to eat in a bed, or something like that?! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...That actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>sounds </span>
  </em>
  <span>like something the blond might say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke,” Naruto raises his head to look in his eyes. “More of it, please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Sasuke reacts finally, trying not to make it obvious, trying to hide his lower half under the covers better. “Sure, sorry, lost in thoughts.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I leave you to it?” Naruto murmurs, as his back is gently stroked again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright - I… uh, I might have issues forming sentences when you are this nice to me,” Naruto moans again, as Sasuke strokes his back from his neck to his loins - naked and already well defined loins - and his dicks gives na interested twitch Naruto might have felt - his leg is just few inches away from the ever growing and hardening member. “Uh, wow, okay. Now I… hey, I actually don't know what feels good for you. You know I get weak whenever you stroke my back like you do, is there anything that feels this good to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wished he had no emotions and no feelings for the blond. Now he just lies there flushed pink with a hard on to hide. “I… well. I don't… honestly… know. I found out about your sweet spot by accident when I was comforting you or holding you. You never… ehm. You never really touched me that much, except hugging.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It sounds so accusing, saying it like this,” Naruto murmurs and gets up on his elbows to look in Sasuke’s eyes. “I… I honestly didn't think you'd appreciate me just hogging you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't,” Sasuke agrees timidly. “...before.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, before… you know. At the beginning. When we started hanging out, and being physically close. But now, I just. I wish… I wish you did that more. Touch me I mean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stares at him for a moment, then asks: “Would you mind telling me these things sooner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke laughs shortly and then nods: “Sorry, I just… I’m getting used to it, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Naruto smiles and gently caresses his face. “You do. Would you let me try to touch you more now? See what you like, what can bring you comfort?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke goes red in the face, but gives a short nod. Naruto smiles and holds his face in his palm, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. “You look so adorable like this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes, but doesn't protest. Naruto lets his hand fall to his neck and shoulder, gently stroking there, moving onto his chest and stomach. Sasuke gets a bit stiff when Naruto comes too close to his abdomen. “Are you… are you uncomfortable?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well. Depends on the point of view, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I stop?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Sasuke denies immediately. “It’s… unusual. But… not bad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Definitely not bad. Naruto’s hand is warm, gentle, good kind of heavy on his body. Sasuke watches Naruto stroking his stomach, his side, slowly, experimentally, ready to withdraw immediately if Sasuke decides he doesn't like it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Naruto murmurs after a while. Sasuke doesn't have any reaction similar to Naruto’s when his back is stroken. Maybe he’s focusing on wrong places. He could try to go slower, maybe he’d try to stroke Sasuke’s back, too. But now, he just tries whatever Sasuke let’s him do. So he lets his hand wander into Sasuke’s hair, his hands and fingers, and Sasuke keeps the same expression; he’s amused, content, obviously enjoying the attention and there’s nothing he minds or doesn't want, only sometimes he stiffens or moves a bit, or lets out a surprised breath when something tickles. Naruto lets his touches lower on Sasuke’s body, touching nis abdomen, his thighs and misses Sasuke’s dick only by millimeters and he’s either pretending he doesn't know to keep some decorum, or he’s plain oblivious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Knowing Naruto, it’s probably the latter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto gently strokes his thighs and hips, trying out gentle or more tender strokes, but there’s no other reaction than the content and obvious satisfaction Sasuke’s finally getting the touches he wanted now for a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Could you… could you please turn around?” Naruto asks him and already holds his hips to help him and turn on his side. Sasuke complies, leaving his back exposed to touches, and he can't help but shiwer, when he feels Naruto inching closer, his fingers on his back, stroking and rubbing in circles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is really nice,” Sasuke tells him after a while, noting all of the small touches he can later use on Naruto, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But obviously it’s not what I feel when you touch me like that,” Naruto whispers, almost frustrated, then experimentally strokes his back down to his loins, and further onto his bottom. It’s a nice, firm bottom - not as firm and defined as Naruto’s, but still nice. Sasuke turns his head to face his best friend with an unreadable expression, but Naruto just trokes further down his buttocks and the back of his thighs, back up to his lower back and down again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't like it?” Naruto asks, not really sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke has to hold onto the linen and pillow not to throw them around and </span>
  <em>
    <span>dry hump and kiss and touch and lick and bite down </span>
  </em>
  <span>at the perfect plump lips of his. Fuck this kid. Just fuck him. “I… I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m not sure where the boundaries are right now,” he says gently, vulnerable and genuine. “Is… Is this okay or not?” he asks, rubbing his bum. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… are… are you content with it?” Sasuke asks and hates himself a bit, because he can't tell him, this is the line where you cross between friendship and a romantic/sexual relationship, but he doesn't want to, because with them, it’s not necessarily the truth. ...Kinda. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Naruto answers, sure, casual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… it’s not usually something you can do with friends, cuddling I mean, and touching them like this, tho,” Sasuke tells him anyway, because not telling him would lead to misunderstandings and pain in the future. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I usually can't touch people under the waist,” Naruto rolls his eyes. “I was asking if it’s okay for, uh… for us, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is, since we both consent,” Sasuke nods and lets Naruto stroke his bum once more. “A new obsession there?” Sasuke teases. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto laughs quietly and ducks his head into Sasuke’s shoulder. “Maybe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sasuke just… he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>to know, okay? Because at this point, it can't be just him who's getting hard from this, right? Naruto has to… has to feel the same, hasn't he?! So when Naruto strokes his back up again, he rolls his hips gently into Naruto’s groin, trying to be subtle. Probably too subtle, because he barely touches his leg and Naruto doesn't even know he moved, so Sasuke tries again, but Naruto moves at the same time, and their groin and ass collide quite hard together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry,” Naruto mumbles and goes on with the caressing as if nothing happened, because… well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>And, oh well. Just fuck it.</span> <span>Just </span><em><span>fuck it </span></em><span>fucking </span><em><span>all. </span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is absolutely unaffected. He’s soft, and perfectly fine, collected and focused on his task, like it’s nothing special, nothing that makes your skin hot and hands a bit too interested in what they are caressing, while Sasuke here is at the verge of just sticking his own hand down his pants and stroke himself through this, because fuck it, he’s never been this frustrated in his </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe take your shirt off,” Naruto suggest innocently after a while and Sasuke just wants to laugh hysterically, because, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what the fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Okay, what the mortherfucing </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>is this situation </span>
  <em>
    <span>even</span>
  </em>
  <span>….?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the worst part of it is, he brought it upon himself on </span>
  <em>
    <span>his fucking own. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Sasuke has to clear his throat. “Uh, I don't…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke… okay, I’ll let you go, alright? I can hear it in your voice, and your posture is all wrong and you are hiding from me and obviously don't like it, since you are all tense and not relaxed and you guard yourself way too much, so… so we’ll leave it be for tonight, okay? I’ll just lie here next to you, and hold your hand? Would you be comfortable with that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… Naruto, I’m very comfortable with you touching me,” Sasuke turns around completely to face his friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you are not,” Naruto sits up, his expression urgent and serious and Sasuke doesn't like it at all. “You are not. Your body tells the truth where your tongue lies.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke has to stop this argument, because: “Wow, that was beautiful, Naruto. Both in observation, as in language. I’m… wow, I’m actually stunned. Well done, I’m proud of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't-, uh, thank you, but don't change the subject here. I know you don't want to lose me, and I know you don't want me to be afraid to touch you. Don't worry, it doesn't change anything, you can tell me that you don't like this or aren't comfortable with it now, or when it just takes too long and you don't like it anymore. That’s okay, just because you want to cuddle for only a while doesn't mean I won't want to cuddle you anymore in the future. Or maybe in a few hours. I understand this, I understand you have issues you go through yourself. That's fine, just tell me to move away for a while, or just don't go this far anymore, but you can again in the future. It’s alright, Sasuke, I’m here for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is as embarrassed as he is touched. He sighs, because the poor kid is such a sweetheart and means no harm, but he’s got it all wrong. So Sasuke doesn't have any other option - he has to tell him what this is about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, maybe not all of it, but has to tell him, because this is getting ridiculous, and if Sasuke keeps this up any further, Naruto would get confused, and hurt, and would make the wrong conclusion, because how could he not - and it all would be Sasuke’s fault and Sasuke refuses to make the boy feel hurt just because of Sasuke’s pride. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… uh. Can you… can you concentrate now, or are you tired?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m perfectly fine,” Naruto answers, getting comfortable, because he knows this is a lecture. He straightens his back and clears his head to be able to focus on nothing but his perfect raven haired friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There… okay, from the start. We… We talked a few months ago about feelings of attraction, and about sexuality, remember?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There… I’m… are you familiar with, uh, sexual tension?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks a bit uncertain, and Sasuke scolds himself, because yes, Naruto is already much better than all the months ago, but Sasuke still doesn't get to use difficult words and syntax when trying to explain things to him. So he sighs and tries to be indifferent towards the embarrassment he feels about his own hard on, and about this conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When… when you get… hard,” Sasuke simplifies and tries not to blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto tilts his head to the side, obviously waiting for the point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… have you,” Sasuke can't believe he has the talk with Naruto. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, where is Kakashi when I need him?! </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Do you get hard, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto, the nothing-can-make-me-feel-embarrassed type of a person, slightly blushes. “Of… of course I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When… ehm, when does it usually happen?” seriously, Sasuke. Seriously, you gona put the embarrassement on a boy who doesn't have a clue about sexual relations. Really. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shame on you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Uchiha. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shame. On. You. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, when I… when um, I mean… usually without, like - like in the morning, you know?” Naruto murmurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, so I, I mean, every guy gets hard, and I seem to… I seem to, ehm. When we… when you cuddle me. That’s why I’m so tense.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto takes a couple of seconds. “You… you are… hard. Right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, was, a moment ago,” Sasuke deadpans and wants to hide from the awkward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were... “ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, here it goes. Naruto finally realizes Sasuke is high over heels for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were hard from the cuddles,” Naruto concludes, then thinks about it, and then smiles, all happy and encouraging: “That’s a very human thing to do, Sasuke! Good, I’m so glad I can provide this for you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke blinks. Once, twice, and then looks away like he was on the Office. “You- you don't think it’s weird.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? You feeling so good and safe and comfortable you let yourself get hard? Of course I’m happy about that! Sasuke, do you realize how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>human </span>
  </em>
  <span>this makes you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And alright, maybe Naruto does have a point, but… there are other issues to consider, too? Like, that it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto </span>
  </em>
  <span>who causes Sasuke the hard on? Is Naruto that </span>
  <em>
    <span>oblivious</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or he just doesn't understand this concept or is there something Sasuke’s missing in all this?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, this isn't… this isn't really… appropriate?” Sasuke tries to explain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, why not? For the two of us? You said as long as we both consent everything is okay, right? And I’m more than happy to be close to you, hard on or not. I’m happy to make you feel comfortable to that level, tho I understand there are other factors, like, we are at your house together and we are close and you were a bit emotional and I provided comfort and then the touches and it’s warm here and I smell like you and we are already close together after all this time and everyone seem to be okay with it, and we survived a fight with Orochimaru and Danzo, and we are getting good with Kurama, and we are getting info on your brother and things seem to be clearing out for us, and you are close to Kakashi now, too, and you are understanding friends and that it’s okay to need help sometimes,  and you are feeling better about your future, but the point is, you are comfortable, right? With me, being close, you were just afraid I’d mind you getting hard over this and maybe freak out?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke slowly nods, because essentially, yes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? It’s all fine, promise,” Naruto grins. “You can lie back down and I’ll go on, if you don't mind me. I can just touch you and be close, or let you be all dominant with me, just like you like it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What - what do you mean, exactly, by being… being all dominant with you?” Sasuke asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, how… Don't worry, I noticed you don't really like it when you were lying with your back to me. Or when it was me who only touched you while you couldn't, facing the other way. Or how you still need to carry the conversation, no matter what. Don't worry, I like it too, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” Sasuke can't help it, really. He just needs to hear these things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto lies back down by Sasuke’s side, cuddling to him, nesting his head on his shoulder. “I like it like this - you coddling me and holding me, us being close. I can feel you still being aware of our surroundings, even here. And I feel safe with you. And… And I know you got me. Whatever happens, you’ve got me. Right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke holds him so close, so firm to his body they both have trouble breathing, but none of them makes a complaint. “I’ve got you, Naruto. I’ve got you.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Sexually tended humor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsunade woke up about three weeks after Orochimaru’s failed coup. She made her decisions about Danzo, and about Orochimaru himself. There still are things that need proper answers, Root to begin with, and all the secret missions and machinations under the pretense of “helping the village”. The rest of the elders were found guilty of knowing about Orochimaru’s alliance with Danzo, and working for him behind Tsunade’s back. The Daimyo himself wanted the council executed (they were acting behind his back, too). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of the Konoha genins passing all three rounds of chuunin exam and fighting off enemies for the Leaf were promoted to chuunins, with Sasuke and Naruto receiving official recognition and thanks from the hokage. And because when the forest is cut down, splinters fall, Tsunade orders Kakashi to lead team 7 out of public eye for a while, at least till everything settles (and Tsunade makes sure there’s noone left to pick up at Danzo’s work to continue his path). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(And noone else like Cat, who blames Naruto personally for the kyuubi’s attack.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don't want Naruto to feel personally responsible for what happened,” Tsunade reasoned. “And Sasuke, too. There are things we’ll have to talk about, I had no idea Naruto talks to Kyuubi and has power over him, and now Sasuke being able to control him, this has to be reported and carefully talked about with both of them, but not now. Now I need them both hidden somewhere safe. They’ve done so much for this village, for me personally, I want them to have some quiet and space. They… I believe… well, I think we both agree they both need time alone, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna argue on that,” Kakashi smiles, reaching for the pervy book he has in his pocket. “And I happen know a perfect place to hide them, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he showed unannounced to Naruto’s house, he didn't expect the two boys to… well. It was just adorable, Kakashi decided, watching Sasuke silently read a book with Naruto’s head in his lap, gently ruffling his hair, caressing his whiskers, his nose, his shoulder and back. Kakashi stayed hidden for a while, watching from afar; they were so calm, so genuine. At first Kakashi thought the blond was asleep, but then he realized Naruto’s hand on Sasuke’s thigh was moving, rubbing him gently. To see them cuddle like this just does something to Kakashi’s heart. Something warm and precious and happy settles at the bottom of his heart and he can't find it in him to disturb them, so he tries to flee, but he underestimated the power of a cat and a fox. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coming in or what,” Naruto purrs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Uh-oh. Naruto’s beginning to be really good at sensing other people’s chakra, and Sasuke doesn't even stop reading when Kakashi actually enters the small apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I taught you well,” Kakashi smiles at Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You taught him shit,” Sasuke corrects him, unaffected, without dropping the book or stopping to rub Naruto’s shoulder. “I did that good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto rolls his eyes. And they were so good together two weeks back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“While I don't agree, I’m not here to start an argument. I’ve got a mission for you,” kakashi smiles at them both. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto gets up. “We’ll meet you at the north gate in two hours.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, no that kind of mission. It’s more of… mine and Shiki’s kind of mission,” Kakashi winks at them. “Tomorrow after lunch, west gate.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And flees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stares at him for a moment, before turning back to Sasuke. “His kind of mission, huh. That could mean anything from a chess festival to a stripbar stroll.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn,” Sasuke agrees, still reading his book. “I just hope he’ll choose gaybars.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto giggles: “I thought this ugly sense of humour only the lowest of us, and by us I mean Kiba, Ino, and myself, use.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I am unable of sexualy tended humor?” Sasuke draws, kind of offended. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d just never say you’d ever get this low,” Naruto smiles, getting comfortable. “Using sex for comedic purposes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were things Sasuke… </span>
  <em>
    <span>disliked</span>
  </em>
  <span>, about Naruto having friends. Sasuke hoped Naruto will stay innocent and uncorrupted for at least three more years where he himself would find enough strength to tell him about his feelings and guide him through most of the sex-issues there are (penetration included), but his friends, and Kiba and Ino especially, made sure Naruto knew all about sex now. He didn't ask questions anymore, he was more of… telling Sasuke, discreetly, about some things. “Why wouldn't I, when it makes you laugh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’ll find out, eventually, that Naruto having other people explaining things to him, wasn't such a bad thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ano, Sasuke,” Naruto started after a few minutes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was… you know, when… I. Ugh, I have an issue and I need… help.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke immediately puts his book down. “Yes? What is it? Ask away, I won't judge.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I was… I was just. We talked with Kiba, and…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh god. Talking with Kiba, again. Nothing good ever comes out of this. (Oh it does now, Sasuke.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s… you know, he was injured, during the attack, right?” Naruto asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course I know. I had to spend three days in the hospital with you to make sure he’s okay,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh please, at least admit you were there to see if Shikamaru is okay,” Naruto scoffs at him and yeah, he’s right, but Sasuke would never admit it. Ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” he mumbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are such a dick sometimes, you know,” Naruto smiles but lies back down onto his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can't really argue that. “Hn.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not that I’m complaining. I mean, it does feel good when I see you just barking at everyone and then the second you see me you all like, melt, and are a happy kitten around me. Well, okay, maybe like, a leopard. You know, all beautiful and heavenly and there is something, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ethereal </span>
  </em>
  <span>about them, and you kinda wanna pet them, and then suddenly you have no legs and the pretty kitty is all bloody. But still, you know, all beautiful and proud, but an apex predator nonetheless. ...Hinata is kind of nervous whenever you are around. And even Shiki says he’s watching his back whenever you guys end up alone in a room. Kakashi once told me he is keeping away from trees now, because he knows leopards hide their prey there from other predators. I’m sure he was talking indirectly about yo-, uh, are you blushing?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m an Uchiha, dumbass, we can't blush out of genetic mutation,” Sasuke barks, but he is. Blushing, that is. Whatever, when the love of your entire life calls you </span>
  <em>
    <span>heavenly </span>
  </em>
  <span>and compares you to the most beautiful </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>dangerous apex predator, you are allowed to blush, even if you are an Uchiha, okay?! Sasuke’s human, after all. Well, at least Naruto insists he is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto giggles and rubs Sasuke’s thigh. “I like it. How only… I can make you blush. Quite like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn't you have a question to ask me, issue you talked about with Kiba?” Sasuke changes the subject out of sheer fear. He can't let Naruto wander there, Sasuke would spill his guts to him and it’s still way too soon. (Also, he doesn't want Kiba to win.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And,  they have to stay focused in case Orochimaru comes back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes! Thank you. Uhn, well… Kiba said, he’s… um. He’s got a girlfriend? Like, he told me about, I understand the handholding now, and the dating and all that. And I know you have to have feelings for the person to be dating them, and I can hold hands with people without dating them, I’m… I think I get this all now. But he… he told me, like, I asked if there’s anything I can do for him, and he said that like if I can stay there till his girlfriend comes to kiss the pain away, that would be good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn,” Sasuke doesn't like where this is leading. Well, he does, because, of course he’s ready to kiss Naruto’s pain away, but it’s probably not appropriate, not even for their kind of friendship. “Your question?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-uh, you are… uh, you are not comfortable with this issue. I won't ask, then,” Naruto mumbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, don't - I don’t want you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>ask me because you think I’m uncomfortable,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Ask away, Naruto, please. I promised I’ll help as much as I can, and when it comes to intimacy, I’m not sure… how much can I help. I’m not… especially with girls, but nonetheless, I have no experience in this field.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No - none at all? Really?” Naruto gets up to look in Sasuke’s eyes and is seriously surprised. “I was sure that, with your face and confidence, you’d…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke raises his brow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, nevermind,” Naruto mumbles, lying back down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Finish your sentence, please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I just thought you… would. Have some experience. From… gods, Sasuke, anyone would be okay to…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don't want just anyone,” Sasuke shrugs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto thinks for a while. “What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I,” want you, Naruto. “I just… never met anyone whom I’d want to be intimate with.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Liar</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” and there is something sad at the back of Naruto’s mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s silent, obviously in his head, making things into perspective again, putting all the information in the right boxes. Sasuke eyes the silent boy suspiciously. He really doesn't like this, that he is lying to Naruto about his feelings, but it’s too soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Not yet. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, I started publishing another story. Same pairing, similar style, more angst. If... you are interested. <br/>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478382</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Kissing your pain away.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that… your question?” Sasuke asks. There is something heavy between them, something about Naruto wishing Sasuke was more open, and Sasuke can sense this, but he can't tell him. Not now. He just desperately wants Naruto to talk, to make sure the boy is okay, out of the serious thoughts that he’s right about to start picking up at him, maybe poke fun on Kakashi, maybe go for a training session. Something, anything that would prove Naruto is still his one and only. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… no, not exactly,” Naruto muses quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before you ask, let me tell you I’m really proud of you for how you can focus now. You can remember multiple issues we were talking about, always coming back to the main one we settled. You are speaking with an even tone, and you are carrying the conversation perfectly. You’ve done an incredible job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s mostly your doing,” Naruto says quietly. “Thank yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something… </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>in Naruto’s voice. Like hurt pride, like his tone preserves different emotions that his words conclude. Naruto once accused him of the same thing and now Sasuke can feel why Naruto was so disturbed when Sasuke was doing exactly this same thing. Not so fun, being on the receiving side of this emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there… Are we good, Naruto? Is there something I did wrong?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto closes his eyes and evens his face out. It’s not Sasuke’s fault he doesn't like Naruto, he doesn't find him worth kissing, or doesn't recognize him as someone whom he’ be intimate with on a dating level. So no, of course Sasuke did nothing wrong - it wasn't his fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Naruto answers honestly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you then please ask your initial question? I promise I’m not uncomfortable, I’m just afraid I won't be able to provide an answer,” Sasuke lies through his teeth, but the fear of having Naruto panic and lose this connection, this intimacy with him is not worth the risk of telling the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for explaining your feelings,” Naruto says instead. “You are good at recognizing discomfort in other people, and you care to explain that you didn't want to make me uncomfortable. That was really intuitive behaviour.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke would never risk losing </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My question was, if the saying, the… the </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissing someone’s pain away</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is anywhere real, or close to actual truth - does it actually help?” Naruto asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke remembers one moment of his life he tried to forget - after </span>
  <em>
    <span>the night </span>
  </em>
  <span>- but now, considering everything they found out (Itachi was sent to murder his family, probably threatened by Sasuke’s life by Danzo), he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>remember now, and tell Naruto about this, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was… I was like, I don't even know, three, I was just starting some of the techniques, right? I mean, the taijutsu, some of the basic moves and all that. And while I was trying to do one of my first somersaults or what, I hurt myself pretty bad, with stitches and broken bone or whatever, a kid, you know. And I had… Itachi was… he was with me in minutes. He was… he didn't even ask what happened and I don't remember much of it, only that he yelled at my father later on. But when he arrived, all but running into the hospital room, he knelt before me, and held me in his arms and kissed my face, and my hand, to like, make sure I was okay - our mum probably just sent a message I was hurt and Itachi came in rushing without knowing any details - and he just… he kept by my side, he was there with me all day, kissing my head and my cheeks, playing with me and, you know, distracting me from the pain, and… and yeah, basically kissing the… kissing the pain away, because when he… when he did, kiss my head and my cheeks and my hand - I think it was broken or what -, he… yes, the pain was… less intense, less bothering. Bearable, at least. So… yes, I think this is… there is some truth in this “kissing the pain away”, I think.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto silently watches his friend, trying to picture it. Picture how Itachi came in running to make sure his brother is okay, and he feels as little pain as he could. “He loved you, Sasuke. He loved you so much.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't try to argue; he thinks so, too. And now, having the info from Kurama, from Danzo and Orochimaru, and from Kakashi, too… this was huge for him, personally. Itachi might have been used, scared of the council, the village using his little brother, harming him, he just did what Danzo asked him to do. Itachi might be innocent, might be hurting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to find further info,” Sasuke says after a while. “I’m not… I don't want to make any mistakes in this. If… if this is all Danzo, I want to be sure. If there is any chance we are wrong and Itachi is a sociopath, I will go and slaughter him the same way he did my parents.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto lies back down in Sasuke’s lap, caressing his thigh gently. “I agree. We find everything there is to know, and then we decide.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if we can't?” Sasuke asks. “If there is no proof Itachi acted on Danzo’s orders?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto knows this won't be easy. Even if Tsunade was his friend and she liked him and made few exceptions for him, he wasn't sure if she would be willing to provide access to files from Danzo’s office, especially those that contain delicate information about covert missions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we can ask Itachi himself,” Naruto offers. “I’m not sure what his plan is, if he was only following orders. Noone alive knows, but Itachi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't like it when Naruto is this smart and all strategic and offering an actual plan. He doesn't, because this means Naruto is no longer under his care, under his immediate influence. Naruto is here on his own, doesn't need to follow Sasuke to be successful, to be whom his generation needs him to be. Naruto is forming into a smart, intellectually and socially capable adult, and there is no need for him to drag an emotionally damaged, traumatized and socially awkward Sasuke around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last word, Sasuke,” Naruto reminds him gently after a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes, I… I agree,” Sasuke says, a bit shaken by his own thoughts. “I… Naruto, I need you to know you are very smart, and intelectual, and intelligent. You are socially skilled and you have your way with words and people, too. We… I mean, Shikamaru and I… we both agreed you… you should go and fulfill your childhood dream to become a Hokage. If you still want to be, that is, because you’d be a killing force in ANBU, too. I mean, that fight in the Arena, during the attack? You were, in one word, just stunning. And I’m sorry I didn't tell you sooner you were, because honestly, I guess I needed time to process that myself. I saw you using two different affinities, using so much chakra with actually planning how much you can give off so you won't succumb to chakra exhaustion. You did so well, you protected so many people and you were able to provide excellent back up for Tsunade’s combat. You were also the reason Tsunade survived for Orochimaru focused on you instead of her. I just… I just wanted to tell you you were amazing. And you sacrificed yourself so Tsunade and others would be safe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto blushes, deeply touched by this, overwhelmed Sasuke didn't only praise him for knowing strategy, for teaching techniques, but also for being able to lead on his own, being able to decide what to do in a stressful situation. But Sasuke himself saying Naruto would make and amazing hokage, and even going as far as discussing this with Shikamaru, who is considered not only the smartest person, but also the second most important for Sasuke right after Naruto (he’s probably already sharing the second position with Kakashi by now, but Sasuke isn't probably ready to accept this or admit it out loud yet), that information only make Naruto head spin and heart throb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you really think so, or are you just an amazing, supporting friend?” Naruto asks coyly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know better than anyone I’m not supporting, not really, and I definitely am not an amazing friend, that I assure you,” Sasuke smirks. He knows he isn't, he’s trying his best, he’s trying to be as open and as communicative and as supporting of Naruto as the blond is to him, but he’s afraid he is way too broken, way too damaged to ever be what Naruto needs him to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke,” Naruto sits up from his lap, sits close so he can hold Sasuke’s hand and his face by the other, forcing Sasuke to look him in the eyes. Naruto is serious, genuine and a bit pushy, when he says: “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>the most supporting friend, the most loyal. You never betrayed me, you never hurt me - since we became friends, c’mon, Sasuke, before that, I hurt you too, many times even -, you are always there for me. You provide more that I can ever give back, you are so important to me, your approval is important to me. Sasuke, you are the best friend I could ever ask for, do you understand that? You are human, Sasuke. You are my most important, most loved person. You mean the world to me, and please remember that I don't think about you what you think about yourself. To me, you are a supportive, reliable, loyal, loving human, and a best friend of mine, my family. I don't care how many times a day I have to tell you to be louder than the voices in your head. I’ll be here all the time, till the end, and even after. I’ll never let you go, in life, or in death. I’m here, and all your decisions are mine as well, and vice versa. You are not alone in anything. You are human, you are a friend, you are important, needed, wanted and </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hear me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't know why he cries or when he starts. He sees the importance in Naruto’s face, the strong need to prove himself in his voice. Naruto just holds him then, lets him rest on his shoulder, weak and crying, and just cuddles him close, coaxing him into sittin on his lap, letting himself be coddled and held and comforted. He is still embarrassed about how much he obviously needs this, how important the entire concept of having someone to cuddle him, to assure him it’s okay to need help, words of praise and physical contact is to him. How much better he feels everytime he cries, he lets go and opens himself up a bit more to Naruto, but also to Shikamaru and Kakashi, in some ways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s okay. Naruto says it’s okay, because Sasuke is human. And needing and wanting all those things </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>human.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sasuke whispers after he stops crying. “Just… thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't,” Naruto smiles at him, stroking his hair, he tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear and gently lifts his chin. “Don't thank me for this. There's nothing to thank for.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke offers a timid, small smile Naruto loves so much on him, because Sasuke finally looks like a human, like the young man he is supposed to be, not just an empty box of a soulless avenger controlled by hatred. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto is happy to live with that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Sasuke is happy for that, too.) </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I started to publish one more sob-angst-fluff story in this fandom, for this pairing. If... you've got nothing better to do... https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478382</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Glimpse of true self</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Naruto helps to wipe off his last tears and Sasuke still does feel a  bit embarrassed, but is content with the gesture. Naruto then looks into his eyes and kisses his cheek out of nowhere, exactly where the blush is forming.</p><p> </p><p>The need to do so was prominent for quite some time now and Naruto felt like doing this gesture especially when Sasuke let himself being cuddle, when he stopped crying, content and tired in his arms. The slight blush formed right here, right above his beautiful cheekbone, and Naruto didn't think twice this time in kissing it, and he now feels that the gesture could be… appropriate. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (If there is any truth in the “kissing the pain away”, please be sure, Sasuke, I’ll do exactly that to keep the pain at bay. Physical, as well as emotional.)  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He looks shocked Sasuke in the eye, looking for disapproval, looking for discomfort, but aside from mild shock he doesn't find anything that would give away his repulsiveness or discomfort, so the blond turns to Sasuke’s other cheeks and kisses him there, too. </p><p> </p><p>There’s dead silence and Naruto is scared for a while he crossed a line, but then Sasuke leans in and kisses Naruto’s cheek, too. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s nothing that pains me,” Naruto smiles then, rubbing Sasuke’s cheek with his thumb, holding his face. “But you suffering.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke cuddles his face in Naruto's palm and Naruto's breath hitches - this is the most <em> submissive </em>gesture Sasuke’s ever done. And the raven haired boy realizes himself as much, realizes exactly how open and vulnerable he’s beginning to be with Naruto, how much he trusts him, how much he lets his guard down around him, trusting him to protect him where Sasuke can't protect himself. </p><p> </p><p>He freezes in the spot. </p><p> </p><p>They both know now Sasuke is <em> nowhere </em> naturally as dominant as he pretends he is, as he himself <em> hopes </em> he is. They both are aware now that Sasuke is actually as submissive as they get, as ready to be cuddled and taken care of as everyone with this nature, and to Sasuke, this is the most <em> shocking </em>discovery about himself so far. </p><p> </p><p>So much he actually freezes, looking Naruto directly into his eyes, who is waiting for Sasuke’s stance on this, ready to accept anything Sasuke tells him to, anything Sasuke wants and needs him to. Naruto can overcome it, let it slide like this didn't happen. He still can let Sasuke have his need to be dominant in everything, he can let Sasuke lead and be the responsible one, the one who makes decisions. Naruto is able and <em> willing </em>to let Sasuke pretend he’s of dominant nature, and not that his dominance is the outcome of his deeply traumatized, emotionally neglected childhood  - not necessarily caused only by the death of his entire family. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke once told Naruto he didn't feel safe and appreciated in his inner family circle, he didn't feel loved and cared for enough, and his daddy issues were not formed after his father's death. </p><p> </p><p>And as that, deep down, down there, where there is the real Sasuke, the one that should have been born into a normal, emotionally balanced family, was buried, deep down there it was Sasuke, real, soft, gentle, submissive by nature, Sasuke. The one with no emotional traumas, the one with normal father, the one who was provided with emotional and physical closeness of his both parents, both of them equally caring for his well being beyond the annoying “you are an Uchiha” and “you are of the main, dominant bloodline, behave like such” kind of crap he received his whole childhood, probably since the second he was born - and probably even before that. </p><p> </p><p>The thing is, and Naruto needed Sasuke to realize, to know this for future reference; and Naruto has to tell him, because Sasuke himself will never realize this on his own for this being the crucial part of his trauma. </p><p> </p><p>“Sasuke,” Naruto speaks softly, as to not disturb or scare the already frozen boy. “Y-you, are you okay?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m… I’m good, yeah,” Sasuke says way too softly - the usual certainty, proudness, pretentiousness Naruto hates in him, but sees where it is coming from… all of it is gone as suddenly as snapping his fingers. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto isn't sure if Sasuke is ready to realize how he is actually longing for someone who would dominate him, who would lead him, whom would Sasuke trust enough to be able to let his submissive side surface and let someone else take care of him, provide for him. Naruto isn't sure the young man in front of him could, after everything that had happened to him, what was caused to him, be the boy he could have been once, be the situation different, be his family different, be his fate different. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto feels suddenly sad about this. Sasuke, being born into a normal, emotionally stable family, could have been a gentle, adorable, genuine and kind person. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto partly agrees with Itachi murdering his father without mercy. Naruto would be tempted himself. </p><p> </p><p>“I need… I need you to know one thing, Sasuke,” Naruto looks him in the eye, letting his palm right there, under Sasuke’s jaw. “The… the thing is, you yourself believe the most important moment of your life was the death of your family - that was the… that was what broke you the most. But… based off what you told me and what… what I can tell from your behaviour and all that is… you were severely damaged already before that. And the death of your family… what it actually meant to you wasn't that your parents and grandparents and… and all, and cousins, and all those people… were gone, but… but that Itachi… Itachi was gone. And he chose to leave you behind. That was what… broke you the most. Losing… losing your brother in this way.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turns his head away from his friend, obviously feeling shame on some level, because… Naruto is right. “I was… the only thing on my mind was… was why would he… why would he leave? Without me? He… he showed me how he killed my parents and told me… told me, I don't really remember, but some bullshit, I can tell he lied now, and… and leaving. He didn't… he didn't want to - I-I didn't <em> care </em>he killed them, I just wanted -” </p><p> </p><p>“Your brother,” Naruto whispers. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke is crying again, and nodding feverly, so Naruto takes him by the nape of his neck and his hips to hold him close, so close and so firm Sasuke feels warm, and safe, and fuzzy, and comfortable - even when he’s crying. </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, it’s mostly from relief. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto stays right there, cuddling Sasuke close and without any comment on his behaviour lets him cuddle, let’s him cry, lets him settle. When there is only a silence interrupted with Naruto’s cooing and calming noises, Sasuke sits back down so he can look Naruto in the eye, wiping his last tears away: “What would I even do without you?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know,” Naruto smiles gently, rather calm now that Sasuke is talking again. </p><p> </p><p>“You told me once,” Sasuke remembers, “that if I got lost to my inner demons, you don't know what you’d do. Honestly, I thought I was so above that, but recently…” there is a longer pause Naruto doesn't dare to interrupt, “I know without you, I would. Lose to my demons. And without you, I might have come so low, I’d even join someone like Orochimaru. Or Maybe I’d let Danzo order me around just like he probably did Itachi. But there is… there is this, you know. What… the question now is, what I would do, if you’d… if you’d fall to your inner demons. A year ago, when… when we were not friends? I’d… I’d probably… I’d probably… I wouldn't care. You would, tho - you’d do anything to… you’d do anything to save me, but I… I probably wouldn't, and that's-!” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto can hear the panic in his voice, he can feel the pain and struggle with anxiety attacks, so he interrupts him with: “It’s not your fault, Sasuke. That’s… my entire point. It’s not… a year ago, or like, when… when we were not friends, it's more than a year now, isn't it… It’s… my point is. I know you wouldn't. But now, what would… what would you feel when I’d lose to my inner demons now?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stops breathing, and with that, the attack stops, too. There is a shocked silence for a while. “No.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto chuckles a bit. “No? What does that mean?” </p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn't. You won't. I won't let you. No. Out of question,” Sasuke decides. “I won't… I won't let you. You aren't alone. I won't let you. Your friends won't let you. Tsunade won't let you. Kakashi won't let you, neither will Iruka. I won't… we won't let you lose it.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles and holds his friend's wrist, as to assure him: “I’m not planning on giving up. And I know you won't let me do anything stupid, would you?” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke contemplains for a while, before answering: “Well, not alone. If you are to do somehting stupid, I’m right there with you.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto lifts his brows, looks Sasuke in the eye and the barks out a laugh: “Of course you are. Holding my hand.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke purses his lips and rolls his eyes - a gesture Naruto doesn't see often, but somehow exactly this gesture (and the small, barely there half smile, and the coy blushing) is what makes Sasuke human, what makes him so handsome and so beautiful Naruto wants to lean in and kiss it right away. “Annoying. But yes, exactly that.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto intertwined his fingers with Sasuke and he squeezed them right back. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looks at him with a genuine, serious look and Naruto understands; Sasuke isn't ready to let himself be taken care of, being submissive in their friendship. Not yet, but he probably will be, if their “friendship” continues at this intensity, both sided.</p><p> </p><p>And Naruto is excited for when the time comes. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can live with that. Probably. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Two boys in love and Sakura in bikini.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry about this chapter, it's a bit... how to put it... boring. I just had a fleeting thought and had to act on it of course, and then again, Sakura will have an impact on our two main heroes - and the third one, too. Underage to gollow, I'm afraid.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Sakura was considered a part of Team Kakashi, they didn't spend that much time together anymore. Sasuke and Naruto usually spend their time together, training, sparing, living, occasionally spending their time with other friends (mostly Naruto), but Sakura wasn't as close to them as it was at the beginning. She was becoming physically stronger and actually skilled med-nin. Tsunade trusted her now more with her abilities and sent her for missions alone, and with teams as a medic, and she seemed comfortable in this position. She spends way more time in the hospital than with the team, but she still does consider herself a part of the team she spent her genin years in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, after the attack with many injuries and deaths, after what happened with the kyuubi and after all that happened and is still happening with Danzo and Orochimaru, the last thing she expects is Kakashi at her door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She is in the middle of cleaning the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I interrupting?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura stares at him with a broom in her hand, with two ponytails at the sides of her head, only in a bralette and short skirt she obviously only wears at home. She has two options now; choose to be embarrassed and that this is inappropriate - there is a man in his mid twenties and her, still a teenager in basically nothing but her underwear, or she could just accept this is her life and go on with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(After so many years next to Naruto and Sasuke (and Kakashi himself) she learned applying the latter option is usually not only the easiest, but also the least troublesome way to deal with those fuckers.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, come in,” Sakura lets the man walk in the nearly cleaned house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(What is she even cleaning in the first place, Kakashi wonders, everything is spotless here.) “I’m here with a… proposition.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura closes the door and leads the man into the kitchen, offering some tea. To her surprise, Kakashi sits down at the table and nods to the tea offer. (This must be serious, Sakura thinks to herself, starting the kettle, he’s never done this before, he usually just smiles and says he’s just dropping by.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Kakashi came here with a proposition, true - but he nearly forgot his purpose here when he saw his student in barely any clothes, and above that, acting like it’s nothing new, nothing to be at least a bit embarrassed about. He can't tell if he’s amused or astonished Sakura grew this confident over the years.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura turns around to witness Kakashi covering more of his already covered face so his mild blush wouldn't be as apparent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(It’s been months since Sakura discovered the touch and taste of the boys watching her body, her confident moves, the way she talks and thinks. She knows what Kakashi sees, and she won't lie - she quite likes the thought of her teacher being </span>
  <em>
    <span>affected</span>
  </em>
  <span>.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… ehm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura has to turn around and pretend she’s doing something on the kitchen counter - she doesn't want to let her sensei know she is </span>
  <em>
    <span>aware </span>
  </em>
  <span>of his uncomfortability, and blatantly enjoying it. “If it’s a mission assignment, you could just send a message, but you are here personally. Something wrong?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-well, that’s what I want to know your opinion on,” Kakashi finally finds his common sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it about Sasuke and Naruto?” she guesses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura sighs, her playful mood long gone. “I’m not sure… what to do with them. I… I mean. I saw Sasuke run towards Naruto when he fell, when kyuubi took over him. I saw… I’m not sure what happened after.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They didn't talk about it to anyone yet. Not even Tsunade, nor me. They… well, we didn't ask, yet. I mean, from what I… what I saw, what I concluded, was… Sasuke was able to somehow through Naruto control the nine tails. And from how he said it, the entire, his name is Kurama and he decided to ally with Naruto… he seemed so angry. At Danzo, and all, but… but at the village, too, somehow. What… what Tsunade and I think is, Naruto and Sasuke are inseparable, but also dangerous opponents - and the way they were able to kill Danzo - and I’m sure noone could, not as quickly, not as easily, only the two - or three - of them… We also think they are very dangerous. They could be dangerous to the village, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura turns around to face the man and nods. “I was… I was thinking the same. I know Sasuke isn't on friendly terms with anyone, not even me or you, not really.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi is ready to argue on that, but decides against it - he himself isn't sure where exactly Sasuke and him stand. Sasuke forgave him, yes, but he said it himself: he never forgets. And if there is anything to happen, anything to happen to Naruto, or to himself, Kakashi isn't sure he will be able to stop Sasuke from destroying everything and everyone in sight. Mostly himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Therefore, if something… if they decide anything in their perfectly shared relationship, there is always a risk of “folie a deux” of a kind, if you know what I mean. Anything happens, and those two, with no family, with no boundaries and no care for anyone and anything-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They care, Sakura,” Kakashi stops her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Kakashi. Naruto cares, maybe,” Sakura disagrees. “Probably, I hope. But let’s face it, in this relationship whatever it really is I don't know, I’m afraid Sasuke is the dominant one, the leader of them, with Naruto consenting to this arrangement.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke cares, too,” Kakashi smiles. “He doesn't let it know much, but he cares.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he does - about Naruto,” Sakura rolls her eyes. “Only about him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't be so sure, my dear,” Kakashi keeps on his smile and can't help it but stops his look at the simple yet somehow provocative bralette. “I think you will be suprised at how wrong you are about Sasuke. Just because he isn't in love with you doesn't mean he doesn't feel anything for you at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That's-!” Sakura doesn't blush, but she sets the tea in front of Kakashi and herself, sits down and starts again, calmer. “I’m not… this isn't a competition whom Sasuke loves the most, or doesn't. My point is, they won't let anyone between them. What one decides, they do - and usually it’s Sasuke who decides.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And that's where you are wrong,” Kakashi has a sip, and shoots one more look at the upper end of the bralette, where Sakura’s hint of cleavage can be seen. “I believe Sasuke has the idea, the phantom of power, where Naruto actually has it. You see, Sasuke is socializing now, he even made it as far as making friends with Shikamaru. And me, I hope.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura watches her teacher for a while, before finishing her tea. “I hope you are right - I’m way too long away from them. And they spend most of their time in their bubble.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi beams: “That’s why I’m here. I need you to take part on a mission Tsunade, Iruka, Shikamaru and I decided Naruto and Sasuke need.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura looks the man in the eye and with as little despect she can, she says: “Please tell me the yaoi you are reading didn't turn you into a helpless shipper.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who told you about my yaoi?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been in the Konoha’s news, “Kakashi switching to gayporn”, I think…?” Sakura teases him and gets up, the hem of her skirt catching at the chair, showing for a second Sasuka’s milky thigh. Kakashi feels a bit hot here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm… not true. Once a bi, always a bi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura turns her head, slightly smiling: “That sounded way deeper than you aimed for. Anyway, alright, I’ll join your mission.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take some bikini, and something for hot summer nights,” Kakashi tells her and disappears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh dear fuck, Kakashi slouches into his own armchair in his apartment. Two boys in love and Sakura in swimsuits. </span>
</p><p><br/><span>That </span><em><span>wasn't </span></em><span>a good idea</span>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Facing the ocean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A mission, huh.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I was accusing you of a gaybar stroll!” Naruto laughs at Kakashi, when he spots a cottage close to the ocean, with white sand beach and few palm trees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just remembered you’ve always wanted to see the ocean,” Kakashi offers. “Choose a room, there’s plenty of space for all of us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At your orders, sensei!” Naruto salutes and runs towards the beach house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke follows him, yelling probably some profanities, or maybe confessions of love at the other boy. Kakashi sighs. “Isn't it beautiful?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The scenery? Or the lover boys?” Sakura asks, bemused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think the husbands belong in the scenery,” Kakashi decides. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would never say you are a helpless romantic.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looks her student in the eye and wants to say something, but decides against it. There’s only one person he’ll talk about Obito to - and only if he’s willing to listen. Kakashi settles for his usual room whenever he’s got a week or two to spend here. Last summer he was lucky enough to steal Asuma, Guy, Shi, Kurenai, and Anko for about ten days of drinking, some inappropriate sex they are never going to talk about, and talk they rarely have time forwhile in duty. Kakashi, being the youngest of them (but the strongest one, and considered the leader) was held between them like something precious. And whenever he talked about his personal life, Guy was right there, with a hand on his shoulder, Anko had his head in her lap to play with his hair, Kurenai and Asuma spent their nights with him, and Shi and him could lie awake for hours in silent appreciation of… well. Their own... things, you see, but in a… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>/.../</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...They both lost a lot. Just in different ways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both appreciate not being physically alone, when lost in their thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a good time, good. Kakashi felt good kind of heavy after spending time with people who survived the war and kyuubi attack with him, people he remembered from childhood, no matter how slightly older than him. It was good to have them on his side, good to have them… there. Good to be able to say, hey, I’ve still got people here. I’m alone, but not lonely. Not fully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now that Sasuke and Naruto are growing closer to him, he’s actually happier, feeling safer, finally, well, not full of life, but… but </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuller</span>
  </em>
  <span>, somehow. He finally feels like in his mid twenties - he usually does have to remind himself he’s not even thirty, yet he feels as if he lived through six lifetimes. He considers this his personal form of hell, of redemption, of purgatory - all the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not letting the sun wake me up at four AM!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sleeping with my back to the ocean!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won't have my head to the south side!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won't lie in the position of a dead man!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura, who all but sighs witnessing the marital quarrel between Sasuke and Naruto, offers a tired: “You do realize there are more than enough rooms for you to have your own, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both shut silent after her remark, and both of them look with low judgement in their eyes. Naruto, who loves their husbands’ quarrels, gently assures her: “While I appreciate your logic, Sakura, I’m afraid this is not how the Uchiha universe works.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” Sasuke spits out, obviously disgusted by the mere idea. “What does enough rooms have in common with us choosing one to stay in?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura probably overstepped a boundary she didn't know there was. “I- ah, I mean,” she smiles quickly, trying to save the situation. “There is one more room upstairs - maybe that would be better for you two than the ones on this floor?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke and Naruto look at each other and without a word run upstairs. Sakura exhales breath she had no idea she was holding. For fucks sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke doesn't like it when anyone expects him to be separated from Naruto,” Kakashi explains. “Naruto is, too, but Sasuke is… well, I’d use the word teritorial, when it comes to the love of his life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s pretty good at sharing with all of their friends,” Sakura mumbles and takes this kind of personally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he is,” Kakashi agrees, setting some of the food on the kitchen counter. He might cook them a solid diner today. “Till you expect him to separate from Sasuke completely. He can share Naruto with you, but he won't give him away, unless absolutely necessary.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’ll change their mind when they start having sex,” Sakura mumbles, mostly to herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously insinuating they’d have sex with anyone else than the other?” Kakashi his half surprised, half judging - noone at this point, </span>
  <em>
    <span>noone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, should presume by now Sasuke and Naruto would ever find themselves in an intimate relationship with anyone else, ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(There might be something going on with Shikamaru, later in their lives, but only again with Sasuke sharing Naruto, never giving him fully away.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura looks up to watch Kakashi’s serious face. “Well… Anyway, how do you know what’s going on between them?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi, known well for his love of gossip, only shrugs. “Isn't that kind of obvious?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura considers calling him out of his shady way of ensuring things, but is interrupted by the ball of energy that is Uzumaki Naruto, who all but jumps across the dining table, landing directly atop of Kakashi’s head, one leg above his shoulder, the other somewhere under his waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Swim swim swim swim!!!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn't look a tad bit surprised. “Of course, my overgrown child, but first-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Swim swim swim swim swim!!! Ocean!!! Swim!!!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi really has no other option than to bring his beloved future hokage outside the patio, to the sand beach, and with one hand handling Naruto and with the other taking his jounin vest off, leaving him in only black pants and the close-fitting top most ANBU wear - with no sleeves, but with the mask over his face as part of it. Kakashi obviously has his former ANBU uniform personalised. Sasuke wonders if they’ll let him wear the Uchiha emblem on his uniform, somewhere hidden, when he becomes ANBU himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke watches with a small smile on his lips, how Kakashi doesn't care about his clothes or hair getting wet, as he accompanies Naruto to finally have his first ever swim - still in his white t-shirt and light blue shorts - in the ocean. Naruto is so happy, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>excited </span>
  </em>
  <span>- and Sasuke silently thanks to anything and everything that might be above him or under him for exactly this; for Kakashi, with amused smile readjusting Naruto on his hip, holding him close in his arms, like normal adult would hold a toddler, holding him the whole time he walks over the sandy beach into the water, waking in, letting Naruto squeak at the temperature he didn't expect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches with dreamy smile on his face how Naruto holds onto Kakashi with both hands and he can hear Kakashi silently murmuring to him not to be scared, the water is calm now due to the low tide at this time of a day, and takes Naruto further, showing him some shells and small fish right under the surface. Kakashi walks a bit further into the ocean, until the water reaches his waist, then Naruto let’s go off his teacher - and a family friend - a bit, looking at something in the water. Kakashi still holds him by his hip and when he wants to let go so Naruto can have his swim, Naruto reaches back up and holds Kakashi around his neck with both hands, whispering something in his ear. Kakashi then holds him with both hands, squeezing him close, letting Naruto rest his head on his shoulder. Kakashi is still saying something to the boy, staying close by the shore, never going as far as the water reaching more than Naruto’s hips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke then focuses his look at Sakura, who’s watching them both, too. She probably doesn't know Sasuke is right behind her, watching the same scene as her, only with a bit of a different emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They grew quite close, haven't they,” Sakura then says, her voice smiley, dreamy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke raises his brow, but takes two, three steps to her. “Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura watches as Naruto playfully sprays his sensei with salt water and laughs when Kakashi as playfully squeezes his sides, making sure Naruto won't slip out of his arms, but then immediately stills him, rearranges him to his other hip so Naruto can see something that caught Kakashi’s eye, and Naruto watches the thing Kakashi is pointing at, obviously excited - what is there, a starfish? Seashell? A seahorse? A sea turtle?  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you have sorted things out, you and Kakashi. Naruto… Naruto seems happy, with him,” Sakura’s soft smile is something Sasuke has never seen before, not directed at Naruto. Not like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are… working on it,” Sasuke offers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura silently looks him in the eye so it’s apparent even for a cold Sasuke that Sakura can see through his facade. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi chose to finally take the role he was supposed to have in Naruto’s life. Protector, advisor, guardian.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura comes out to the patio, witnessing Kakashi bringing Naruto back to the shore, still on his hip and he weighs nothing. “How’s the water?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Warmer than I thought,” Naruto smiles, his face falls to Kakashi’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, who stays inside, lets Kakashi have his moment with Naruto. After all, the man proved himself - and keeps on doing so; to Naruto, and to Sasuke, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see any fish?” Sakura asks and be it anyone else, they’d probably find it weird how is Naruto behaving, like he lets Kakashi just hold him, guard him, obviously care for him like a child. But Sakura understands. She knows Kakashi and Naruto are like this, and chose to be with each other like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn, hn. There was a horse in there!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, seahorses, I hoped I could see any here,” Sakura smiles, grabbing one of the towels and hands it to Kakashi over the patio fence. “What colour was it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, um, I’m not - haha,” Naruto chuckles, as Kakashi throws the towel over his back, securing him with both arms and settles him onto his other hip, effectively wrapping the towel around his sides to keep him warm. “I’m not sure, really? Red, brownish? ‘Kashi showed it to me, it was way smaller than I thought they will be!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All excited and adorable, Sakura notes, as she beams at him. The last of his baby fat is fading away and his face is looking like one of a man, and incredibly attractive one, even, obviously his father’s genes taking over his physique. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Easy conversation Sakura strikes ensures Sasuke this will be just okay. Few days, just the four of them, the sea and way too excited Naruto to keep them occupied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about homemade ramen, Naruto?” Kakashi gently asks without even indicating he’s letting Naruto go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup!” the blond agrees happily, doing grabby hands at Sasuke, when they near him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take this,” Sasuke murmurs, taking Naruto from Kakashi’s arms and setting him on his own hip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto actually makes a somewhat disagreeing sound, but Sasuke ads: “I’ll bring you right back down afterwards, hm? C’mon, you are all salty now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s usually Sasuke’s job, being all salty,” Sakura nicks at Sasuke, and he actually turns his head to look her in the eye to make sure she actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>banters </span>
  </em>
  <span>with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s surprised enough by her friendly, relaxed behaviour he stops guarding himself in his behaviour towards Naruto and when the blond whines for attention, Sasuke with his eyes still at Sakura gently kisses his cheek. “What is it, love?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto, still as oblivious as ever, never really reacted to Sasuke calling him that, so Sasuke did, occasionally, call him </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he was overcome with feelings, and they already kissed each other’s cheek a few times now, but never for anyone else to witness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Sakura thought it was really adorable.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Kakashi nearly squealed at how adorable that was.)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to throw in an arc where, I think, alot is settled. I just... there are things I need for them to happen before I concentrate back on Sasuke and Naruto's relationship. <br/>I need you to know there are chapters of: <br/>1. Naruto and Kakashi being father-son like<br/>2. Sasuke and Sakura forming a friendship <br/>3. Sakura and Naruto bonding <br/>4. Kakashi and Sasuke finally breaking down the walls they have for one another</p><p>I understand if you see these relationships as boring and will skip them, but I need them to be written to be able to write and finish their relationship, whatever... I decide it... to be. </p><p>If you are bored and have nothing better to do, you can read a chill, kinda funny story about Sasuke behaving like a cat, and Naruto, trying to understand him, nonetheless. You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26587678</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. In the shower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You might remember I asked you all about what you think about Naruto and Sasuke adding some kind of sexual content to this story, for them to progress to sexual partners (in a way). </p><p>Finally, it's here.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke was so shocked by Sakura’s new approach to him he didn't properly realize when he took Naruto up above in their finally agreed upon the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(It was oriented to the south, with a king-sized bed facing the french window with a panoramic view of the ocean. Naruto and Sasuke didn't have to speak to agree on this room.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn't sure if I can do this,” Naruto murmurs to Sasuke’s shoulder, kissing his neck lightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” cool, Sasuke, keep it cool. “Of… course you can. Did I… did I overstep…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Naruto giggles. “Surprised me. And… and everyone I think.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wants to set Naruto to the floor, but at the same time, he doesn't really want to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Naruto agrees with him when he refuses to stand on his own feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shower, Naru,” Sasuke murmurs and kisses the side of his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come with,” Naruto demands. “Or take me back to Kakashi. He’ll go with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As if</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke snickers to himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’d ever give Naruto over on his own accord</span>
  </em>
  <span>, after the initial misunderstanding with Naruto and withdrawing the public rule all those months, more than a year now, back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but I still have to let you go,” Sasuke points out. “To take your clothes off.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yours,” Naruto agrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait. Naruto wants to - - - ...?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't have the time to disagree or at least go through a phase of slight panic. He doesn't need Naruto to witness him getting hard from seeing Naruto naked now, does he?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” Sasuke grunts, as Naruto slips away from his arms and tugs at Sasuke’s shirt to take it down, and Naruto quickly discards his own clothes on the way to the shower, dragging Sasuke right behind him. Naruto then sets the water to a nice, rather lukewarm temperature and holds his hand out for Sasuke to accept. Sasuke sighs and gets himself out of the rest of his clothes, slightly embarrassed at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good?” Naruto looks him in the eye, all dimples and white teeth and unbelievably blue eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes,” Sasuke agrees and takes his hand to step into the shower. “Turn around, I’ll wash your back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you!” Naruto smiles and does just that - Sasuke exhales in his luck, then gently touches Naruto’s shoulder to get to the soap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are more than welcome, dear,” Sasuke smiles to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ano, Sasuke,” Naruto starts after a while of Sasuke washing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is… are we okay? I… I forgot to ask permission, I just kind of forced you into-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn't force me, Naruto,” Sasuke stops him immediately, turning him around to look into his eyes. “I’m here because I want to be here. Want to… be intimate with you like this, if you are consenting, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am, obviously,” Naruto smiles at him. “I just… I know how you are whenever I am physically close with Kakashi, and I know you were jealous of him, mostly, at the beginning. So I didn't mean to say it like, ‘if you won't go shower with me, I’ll go to Kakashi because I know you’ll get mad and agree on taking a shower with me instead’, I didn't want it to sound like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks Naruto in the eye, all serious, but also smiling a bit. He’s so tentative, so socially skilled, so intuitive, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>moral</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Naruto, you are the best… person, the most amazing friend I could ever ask for. I know you didn't mean it like that. You are just in your slightly needy mood, isn't it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto averts his eyes, smiling all bashful and embarrassed. “...Yeah. I’m… I’m so-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Sasuke stops him, his palm rubbing at his cheek. “No, Naruto, don't apologize. You have every right to feel like that, especially with me, and with Kakashi around. None of us cares about what other people think when we treat you like a five years old child. It’s okay, you need it sometimes, and we both are perfectly willing to give you exactly that. Don't apologize for it. I… I actually have to say I quite like it, how you act when you have one of your happy, childish episodes. It’s… quite adorable when you jump on our heads with other people looking at us like we are the crazy ones. I quite enjoy Kakashi’s approach, like he stares his ANBU down for not understanding, for being surprised at how easily he… holds you in his arms, or carries you on his shoulders, or tries to make you do something and you are oblivious to him, plain of uncooperating because something caught your attention and we don't have it in ourselves to scold you to behave like an adult.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh - I… I’m sorry, I can-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto,” Sasuke takes one more step closer (he’s not hard - yet - so it’s safe for now). “Never apologize for it. As I said, we both quite enjoy the look in other people’s faces, and you being all happy and in your own world, for a while. Never stop, not because of us, not because of anyone at all. We are both more than happy to take care of you whenever you need us to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stares at his best friend for a while and then hugs him close. Sasuke chuckles and hugs him right back. For a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ehm, well,” Sasuke lets him go (there goes the boner). “C’mon, wash mine?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto happily complies without being aware Sasuke is </span>
  <em>
    <span>rock hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> and needs to turn around hoping Naruto won't notice. That turns out to be a horrible, </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible </span>
  </em>
  <span>mistake. Because Naruto, being Naruto, steps close to Sasuke, hugging him from behind, washing his biceps, his torso and stomach, then his shoulders, that he kneads gently. Sasuke is for a while scared he will cum just like that, with Naruto’s body close to his, touching him like he is, massaging his shoulders. He doesn't expect Naruto to eventually put his head on his shoulder, kissing his neck, and then of course something that shouldn't be seen, not like this, not this big, not sticking out into an open space like this, catches his attention. Sasuke might as well die on the spot now, please, and thank you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is silent, just looking at Sasuke’s erection without speaking for a second, twelve, twenty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wished to be struck by lightning from clear skies, wished that the earth would fall beneath him, so he would not have to answer for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck this. Just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really seem to be doing this for you, hn,” Naruto then notes, like he’s mostly confused by the fact that he caused this, he was responsible for making Sasuke feel this good. Sasuke gulps down - he has to apologize.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m sorry, this is… really, really inappropriate, I’m…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto makes a slightly offended sound, and then murmurs to Sasuke’s back: “Don't apologize.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't move, doesn't seem repulsed or all that shocked, not really. And, Sasuke understands in a way, because this isn't the first time it happened, and when Sasuke told him about how physical closeness brings him this kind of feelings, Naruto was happy Sasuke allowed himself this kind of pleasure. (It’s not like Sasuke ever masturbated - he doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>allow </span>
  </em>
  <span>himself as much, and side from night pollution he doesn't acknowledge this human part of himself. He considers this a kind of path of his Uchiha self of hatred to achieve all his goals, too.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't move, still rests his head on Sasuke’s shoulder with a clear view on the front of his naked body, the water massaging and cooling them down just right, and Naruto still gently touches Sasuke’s tummy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a nice tummy - not as muscled like his own or Kakashi’s, more lean and sinewy type of figure. The one that is faster rather than stronger. Naruto finds this information rather arousing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto…” Sasuke whispers, looking down. “I’m… I’ll leave now, okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is reluctant silence that follows, and when Sasuke doesn't hear Naruto say anything, he slowly tries to get away from him, to leave his comfortable arms, but Naruto stops him, effectively trapping him in his arms now realizing that yes, Sasuke is faster, but Naruto is physically </span>
  <em>
    <span>stronger</span>
  </em>
  <span>. More than arousing, this information is pleasing on a level Naruto didn't know is even possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, he wasn't fucking blind, of course, Sasuke was beautiful in all means of the word, and of course, there were… </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs </span>
  </em>
  <span>Naruto felt towards his best friend, but some days ago Sasuke said it himself - he was yet to meet a person he’d be interested in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So for now, Naruto is fine with just touching Sasuke (like he himself asked Naruto to do), and maybe make him hard, if that's all Sasuke ever allows between them (and Sasuke allowed this already as this had already happened once before, no matter they were clothed by then).</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, what do you guys think, for a first sexual encounter? Good, bad? Still enjoying where it leads, or you expected something else? </p><p>Thank you for reading, and for the beautiful comments. It makes me feel really good and, more importantly, really understood, if you know what I mean. Thank you all so much &lt;3</p><p> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Consequences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you… do you want to leave?” Naruto asks and Sasuke can't for </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell what the tone Naruto is speaking with tells him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I should, shouldn't I,” Sasuke concludes himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Naruto asks in a way Sasuke knows this isn't a teasing, meaningless question asked to throw him off balance or to humiliate him, but a question Naruto is asking because he doesn't know the protocol here and he needs guidance, needs help, needs Sasuke to explain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because our relationship isn't…any kind of sexual, and you didn't consent to this,” Sasuke tries to say as casually as he can muster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- how do I consent to a sexual relationship?” Naruto asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't understand what he’s hearing. “I- Naruto, do you… do you understand what you are insinuating?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto cuddles closer to Sasuke’s neck, his hands going further to his abdomen, only inches away from the area considered private. “Sexual relationship with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke closes his eyes. “This… why-why are… Naruto, this is… this is a serious thing, we… are you… are you considering extending our friendship to a sexual relationship just to try what it is like?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto honestly doesn't know. He’s a bloody </span>
  <em>
    <span>virgin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he doesn't know what he wants. He just… Sasuke is beautiful and so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>to him, and so </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and there is no one he loves as much as his best friend, and his friend happened to be extremely attractive, too. And said best friend is… is </span>
  <em>
    <span>aroused </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his presence, and Naruto is a teenage boy, too, so when he sees… he just... he just wants to touch. Kiss. Maybe… maybe more, if Sasuke can help him out, teach him. “I… I don't know what… what I want right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sasuke agrees. “That’s alright.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just… I just want…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” Sasuke asks, holding his breath - he’ll do anything his blond asks for. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you… can you stay close now? For a while? Please?” Naruto asks. “If it’s… if it’s okay with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m... “ Sasuke is embarrassed on a level he himself didn't know was possible (considering he’s a cold, emotionless Uchiha), while Naruto is completely calm. “Are… Uhm. Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I like this. I like you… like this,” Naruto answers, slowly. “I’m not sure if I make sense, but I’m… I’m happy that I can make you… make you feel good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke bites his lips, his tongue, the side of his face. He’s blushing from his head to toe, he can't- he physically and emotionally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What the fuck is this child </span>
  <em>
    <span>even</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Why does a tease like this (without realizing he is teasing at all), naïve and genuinely oblivious person, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>exist</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Why?” Sasuke gulps down a wave of arousal that sends shivers to his body and an embarrassing twitch to his hard, nearly leaking, cock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I like it. You, feeling good. I’m… is… it’s closeness, cuddles, that’s causing it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, Naruto. It’s you. It’s personally, on all levels including emotional, you. But Sasuke, the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>coward </span>
  </em>
  <span>he is, shortly nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke focuses on breathing, calming himself down, going as far as using a tad bit of chakra to help him bring his erection down, but Naruto, seeing his dick is getting soft, frowns and touches Sasuke’s abdomen, and is bold enough to gently rub his skin there, then going straight for his hips and squeezing a little, kissing Sasuke’s neck - and Sasuke is fully hard again. Naruto makes an affirmative sound. “I told you before, I like to keep you comfortable, happy, feeling positive emotions, and being physically relaxed. I also like it when you let your mind wander to positive thoughts, and this seems to be doing both just fine. If you ask me, touching you like this, being with you exactly this, holding you, touching you, keeping you slightly sexually aroused, is alright with me. I consent to this, I’m happy to do this for you, I’m comfortable with this. I like bringing you pleasure, in all the ways I can, emotional and physical. I’m not sure how much more you need to make sure I know what I’m doing, and I understand the consequences.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And do you?” Sasuke asks, trying to concentrate on Naruto's words rather on his touch. He’s gonna come like this, he knows it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't know. I don't think anything between us changes. I like it when you touch my back as you do, cuddle me like you always do. And you… like this,” Naruto slips his hands from Sasuke’s torso to his abdomen, meeting the dark hair down his navel, stopping two inches above the base of Sasuke’s penis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you don't,” Sasuke gulps down. “You never had… been hard from me, touching you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Noone ever made me hard,” Naruto shrugs lightly, paying more attention to Sasuke’s body than their dialogue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto lets his head rest on Sasuke’s shoulder, massaging his sides gently. “I only, you know, I already told you this. Usually only happens at night, you know, or I wake up already hard.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke needs a second to work through this information. “So you… don't… get hard. On your own, I mean, on purpose.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm-hm,” Naruto agrees gently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you - ehm, I’m sorry to ask this, but… are you masturbating?” Sasuke asks because let's face it, masturbation is a part of growing up, but also, considering Naruto's traumas and all, a positive coping with his past would lead to a normal sexual relationship with his right hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Sasuke doesn't see it but is sure Naruto rolled his eyes. “I am.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But only… in the morning. When you already… wake up hard.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never actively and purposefully chose to masturbate, to get yourself hard, or that something, anything nor anyone brought you feelings of sexual frustration, or need to masturbate to relieve yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No?” Naruto offers. “Is it supposed to?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… at this age, I think so, yes,” Sasuke murmurs. “Ehm, is… I, ehm. I think you fully understand the situation here and therefore can consent to it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you?” Naruto asks the obvious question. “Do you like this? Me being close, maybe doing it again, touch you like this, resulting in you getting hard?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yes,” Sasuke is so embarrassed he considers just sublimating would be easier, but he can't help it and catches Naruto’s hand in his own, caressing his palm that rests on his abdomen. “Yes, I do consent.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't say anything, only beams and kisses Sasuke’s cheek, the side of his head, under his ear, and his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have one condition, tho,” Sasuke speaks after a while of comfortable (and slightly embarrassed) silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mh-hm,” Naruto brings his hands around Sasuke’s waist and settles there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I try and see if… if I can get you hard, or anything that could… that could bring you pleasure?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, of course?” Naruto says carelessly. “If I have your permission to do something to you, you have permission to do the same to me. We are equals, Sasuke, partners. If I wanna bring you comfort and pleasure, you can do the same for me, if you are willing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m more than willing, Naruto,” Sasuke turns his head to see his blond. “I’m… I want to touch you like this, too. I want to bring you the same pleasure and the same comfort you bring me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto beams at his best friend. “Good. Now that I brought you here, I’ll leave, so you can… finish on your own, is that good? I’ll join Kakashi down in the kitchen to help him with the dinner, and you… have your private time here, hn?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto gives one slow and oh so good stroke to his tummy and abdomen, and then he leaves the shower stall, takes his towel, and leaves the bathroom, making sure to close the door. Sasuke turns the shower to ice-cold till he gets back to soft. He’s not ready for this step, he’s not ready to bring himself the pleasure of an orgasm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he probably never will. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Cooking and baking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto runs downstairs and again lands directly atop of Kakashi’s head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are getting good at sustaining your chakra to keep you hidden. You got your points on focusing on hiding as much of your scent as you can,” Kakashi praises him. “Very well, I’m proud of your progress. But while you focus on not being noticed by ninjas,” Kakashi yanks him down to settle him on his hip again, smiling at the teenager fondly. “for not to be seen or sensed, next time focus also on not being </span>
  <em>
    <span>heard, </span>
  </em>
  <span>please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto giggles and hides his face in Kakashi’s neck - a gesture he does to Sasuke, but he never did this to Kakashi. The man feels a certain level of satisfaction, and affection for his student. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hungry,” Naruto announces loudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are, my giant baby,” Kakashi muses and gets to the fridge, getting all the stuff he needs. “I already promised you homemade ramen, didn't I?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes yes yessss!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My dear boy, aren't you easy to please? I just stuff your stomach with some udon or what, and let you sit in Sasuke’s lap, and you are the happiest little bean in the world, aren't you?” Kakashi wonders, keeping the boy settled on his hip, holding him with one hand like he weighs nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help?” Naruto offers, taking some of the vegetables, giggling, and really behaving like a five years old. He even speaks like one, today. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi loves every fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>second </span>
  </em>
  <span>of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, thank you, sweetie. Want to help me cook, or you wanna sit on the counter and watch?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cook cook cooooooook!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, so excited, aren't we! Alright, mine, alright,” Kakashi agrees, getting out a knife and he is quite skilled in using only his left hand since his right one is holding Naruto by his bum. “Here, can you hand me the carrots? Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto actually mostly watches and enjoys Kakashi commenting on his cooking, and Naruto loves it because this isn't his sensei teaching him, this isn't Kakashi being nice to him out of guilt, or because Minato was his friend. This is Kakashi being really nice to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
  </em>
  <span> because he cares about the blond. He trusts him, believes in him, he hopes he can stand by his side till the end of his life. He knows the boy now, maintains the relationship, deepens it whenever he can. He works with Naruto's personality, he gives him a safe space, he gives him a hint of what he could have with his parents - and this, cooking meals for them both and their friends, this was something deeply personal. It wasn't Kakashi spending time with Naruto because it was a mission, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Because Naruto needed attention Sasuke couldn't give him, Naruto needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>- he needed an adult so he would feel like a child, and Kakashi allowed it, and, furthermore, enjoyed it at least as much as Naruto did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, ah, give me the knife, Naru, that’s not something babies should hold. Gimme,” Kakashi insists, taking the kitchen knife from the child; Kakashi knows Naruto is more than capable with knives, he can throw shurikens and kunai like no one from his generation, really, but this isn't a mission, and they aren't professionals now, so Kakashi is allowed to treat the blond like the child he could never really be. Naruto giggles, because, of course, he knows Kakashi knows Naruto is good with knives, but he also enjoys this - this side of their relationship, where Kakashi pretends he’s a competent adult, and Naruto pretends he’s a happy, non-traumatized child. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And in their little scenario, they aren't exactly wrong per se. Kakashi feels suddenly sad, eyeing giggling Naruto; he could have this from the day Naruto was born. He could have his crib next to his bed, he could be feeding him from the bottle in the middle of the night. He could teach him how to walk and how to speak, he could teach him how to read and use chakra and become shinobi. He could be there from the beginning, but he chose to leave all his emotions behind, hiding away in ANBU, on missions far away from Konoha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chose to ignore the child that needed him, but he also ignored the need for having a child, for having Naruto right there sleeping in his crib next to Kakashi’s bed. - Kakashi would get scared something could happen to the tiny baby, so he would sleep with one hand around the baby to make sure it’s safe. The former ANBU knows he’d be that kind of a paranoid father, who'd be sure something is to happen to his precious. He knows he would because he’s feeling like that right now. He gets a deja vu feeling right then - he feels so strongly for the Namikaze, he is overflown with feelings of love and affection, and he’s getting so paranoidly scared that something bad will happen, he can feel it in his bones. It’s the same feelings he had the night with Obito. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing is, Kakashi really thinks he’s cursed. He’s bound to lose everyone whom he loves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Naruto should be really mad at him, for the things Kakashi let the village do to him. For what </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kakashi </span>
  </em>
  <span>did to him. How he ignored him for his own benefit, for his selfish and stupid reasons. He doesn't deserve Naruto in his arms like this, trusting, happy, enjoying his company.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't,” Naruto speaks right then, his voice normal, his tone serious, but the look in his eyes is warm and understanding. “I can see it in your face, Kakashi. Don’t start on this. You had your reasons and I understand. You are here now with me, and I know you care. I won't let you be sad about the past. It brings you to a dark place in your mind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi utters a deep sigh, and then sets the knife on a table and hugs Naruto close with both arms. “I don't deserve you, Naruto.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh as </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>you do,” Naruto laughs and returns the hug; warm and heavy and strong and meaningful, and full of love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Language,” Kakashi mutters lowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, daddy,” Naruto rolls his eyes and Kakashi gently swats his bum. Naruto giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I am sorry, right? I’m… I know I apologized more than a year ago, but that’s not… I’m... Naruto, it was a terrible mistake. I should never.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you… did you like my father?” Naruto asks, uncertain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of-of course I liked-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean… did you, ehm,” Naruto’s cheeks get pink. “Did you have feelings for my father?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...In a… way, yes. I didn't… ehm, I wasn't in love with your father, I was… he was my sensei, my hero. He was… I, ehm. Yes, I think I was crushing on him pretty hard if you ask me. But he wasn't the person I was in love with.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He died, too, right?” Naruto asks. “The one you were in love with.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he - it was only a few weeks apart,” Kakashi nods silently, obviously mourning now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand you were… you probably needed to,” Naruto says. “I mean. I don't… I can't imagine I’d lose Sasuke, and in a few weeks, you. I can't imagine how devastating that must have been, knowing you were already an orphan when that happened. Therefore I… I can't be selfish, Kakashi. I can't pretend you leaving me was your mistake, because, in your shoes, I’d… I don't know what I’d do, really. I’d need you to get me through losing Sasuke, and I’m not sure you’d succeed. You probably wouldn't. And then, in a few weeks, just imagine I’d lose you too? I - no, I can't… you leaving me wasn't your fault. It wasn't, because I’d do something much worse. So I’m not… I’m not waiting for you to work on proving yourself to me, because you’ve never done me wrong in my eyes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn't know what was the last time he cried. The day he lost his father - and that was mostly out of fear. The day he lost Obito - and that was out of anger. The day he lost Minato - and that was out of grief and loneliness. But crying out of relief, a kind of redemption? He’d never. He actually has to hold Naruto and cry into his shoulder for a while, before he’s able to calm down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi sets the boy on a counter and gently touches his face: “You look so much like him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do, right?” Naruto laughs, remembering the photo of his father and mum Kakashi showed him. He also told Naruto the most about them both. He’s willing to tell him everything he knows. Maybe he could tell him about Jiraiya, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I have one more hug?” Kakashi asks and Naruto jumps right into his arms, giggling and holding onto Kakashi with everything he’s got. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, who watches the entire scene from the doorframe, offers a half-smile to himself. Kakashi is a good guy, and his life was hell. Sasuke can now, after all this time, agree on Naruto’s point of view; hatred isn't something that brings you a bright future. And with Naruto by his side, he sees nothing but exactly that - a future where the world lies beneath their feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kakashi lets go and wipes off his tears, he takes Naruto back to his arms, carrying him back to the ingredients. “Still… um, still wanna help?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn,” Naruto offers enthusiastically and takes the eggs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, you know… you know how to cook ramen, then?” Kakashi asks, not that surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course he knows,” Sasuke finally decides to step in the kitchen. “I taught him everything he needs to know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is how you sneak on an enemy, Naru,” Kakashi smiles at the giant baby in his arms and feeds him a bit of carrot. Naruto happily accepts and holds Kakashi with both arms without saying anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke dares to come closer - he really wants to take Naruto into his arms, but he knows this is between just the two of them. He doesn't have a place here now. Kakashi isn't the person he can imagine being like this, ever, all dotting and hugging and letting him so close. No. Not ever. The slight blush and a warm, fuzzy feeling down he has, remembering the hug Kakashi gave him after the attack? You are just imagining that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are no enemy of mine, Kakashi,” Sasuke smiles, moves past them, and takes a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’m going to train in the backyard. Find me, if you need me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you eat with us?” Kakashi asks, hopeful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks Naruto in the eye and smirks. “Of course.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaves them to their cooing and hugging and dotting and all, and takes a kunai out, closes his eyes, and tries that thing Naruto does - with closed eyes aims for a moving object out of his seeing range if his eyes were open. He has no idea how he does it, and by what Naruto told him, neither does he. Sasuke thinks this has something to do with sealing, with Naruto’s ability to fuel his kunai with his own chakra, so the kunai always finds his target. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke isn't able to do this even with his sharingan activated, yet. Naruto has the best of laughs at that, and Sasuke agrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he gets to the backyard, he sees the place is already occupied. Sakura is sitting cross-legged in front of six kunai - she seems to be meditating of a kind. He doesn't want to disturb her, so he turns around and leaves to have a walk on the beach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listens to the ocean, thinks about his techniques, about Naruto, about Kakashi, about Itachi. He knows he shouldn't, but he thinks about the night - thinks about why Itachi showed all the things to him. For what purpose, just to be seen as a monster? Sasuke doesn't see the reason, so he rather focuses on the most beautiful moments of his life. On Itachi, when he was a child and he was all Sasuke had. He focuses on his most favorite moments with Naruto - that is basically the entire past year or so. Sasuke loves nothing more than the hours and days they have for one another when it’s just them so they can cuddle and talk all day. He also likes the night or early morning strolls they have with Shikamaru - the boy can be really good at friendly silence. They speak a sentence or two, and then they are silent again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(His most favorite was on Sasuke’s birthday last year - Naruto was lying on his left and Shikamaru on his right; it was close to the sunrise on Sasuke’s birthday, and they were silent for at least half an hour, watching the clear summer sky studded with stars with Naruto soundly asleep, when Shikamaru moved his hand to gently touch Sasuke’s, saying, “have a good one, ‘ske,” without really saying it, the reason for it. Sasuke turned his head to face the Nara, who was still watching the night turning into a day, then he slowly turned his palm so he could hold Shikamaru’s hand in his own. Shikamaru then, after more than fifteen minutes of not moving, laced their fingers together. Naruto soundlessly slept and Sasuke might have tears in his eyes that never fell. Shikamaru didn't speak another word, but when Sasuke’s breath hitched, Shikamaru started rubbing the back of Sasuke’s palm with his thumb. Naruto woke up a few minutes later, whispered his “I’m so happy I have you”, and holding his other palm he dozed right off.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he gets back to the beach house, the entire place smells amazing. Not only Kakashi and Naruto cooked, they also baked. Sasuke again watches the pair silently, without disturbing them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naru, stop eating the raw dough, you’ll get a tummy ache.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi takes the wooden spoon from Naruto’s hand and puts it into the sink. “Food first, then a dessert.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dough!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No means no, Naru,” Kakashi kisses Naruto’s temple when the boy frowns and gets water bottles from the fridge. “Aren't you hungry?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Hungry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We made really good ramen, and some rice and veggies for Sasuke, and some onigiri for all of us, don't you wanna eat that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dough!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi chuckles and bows his head in a gesture of defeat: “Okay, tomorrow, we’ll make cookies, and you can have the dough. Deal?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto hugs his sensei with both arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you can't say that to Sasuke. He’ll beat me to death that I feed you unhealthy things,” Kakashi murmurs to his apprentice and takes him to the table to seat him on the chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Naruto tells him when Kakashi tries to set him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Na-ah, okay,” Kakashi agrees, already a bit tired. Sasuke suspects Kakashi held him in his arms the entire time, and that’s been what, four, five hours? While making dinner and desserts and all that? That was a good feat after a whole two days of traveling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura enters the kitchen from the other side where there are back doors from the living room to the patio and backyard. Seeing the two of them (and not seeing Sasuke hiding in the shadows on the terrace from the kitchen to the beach), she smiles, praising them both for making such a wonderful dinner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Sakura,” her teacher smiles at her. “I hope you are hungry, Naruto, and I got really into it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you had fun,” Sakura smiles as Kakashi tries to set Naruto down, but the boy clings to his teacher for his dear life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naru, please let go,” Kakashi murmurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura is silently laughing at her sensei: you’ll eat your own cooking, Kakashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice when Kakashi is carrying you around, isn't it,” the pink-haired devil coos at Naruto, obviously enjoying it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto happily nods and hugs Kakashi close, who gently bumps his nose to Naruto’s face, and then tries to set him down again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, uhn-um.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah ah, love, you’ve been hogging Kakashi for a whole day,” Sasuke decides to then join the little family dinner. “Come to me for a while?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sasuke doesn't even finish the sentence and has an armful of the love of his entire life. “Hi, baby,” Sasuke kisses his cheek. “How’ve you been?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't really talk, he just cuddles close and keeps his mouth rested on the side of Sasuke’s neck where he usually hides. Sasuke can't not see the look on Sakura’s face. How her dreamy, gentle smile follows him back to the kitchen to give Naruto one muffin before the dinner, whispering to Naruto not to tell Kakashi, because he’d be mad Naruto had sweets before dinner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He also sees the way she watches Naruto is turning into the same look Shikamaru gives the future Hokage; if Naruto would show interest, she’d be down - but if he won't, she’s still here, right by his side as one of his most loyal. Sasuke sees the shift, sees the growth, and appreciates it, really. But he’s probably not ready to classify her as their friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not yet, at least.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Alternative scenarios</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looks up from the bathroom sink to look into his own eyes - well, eye. He watches his own reflection while brushing his teeth, and then just rolls his eye on himself. It’s just impossible to feel sad around the energy Naruto radiates, and also, if he didn't know better, he’d say he’s starstrucked. Really, in his age, and after all that time…? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi sighs and enters his bedroom - and notes he’s not alone here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bedtime story!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought-” Kakashi falters and looks at Naruto, jumping up and down on his bed in his pajamas. He chuckles and snatches the boy to throw him over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is a giggling mess when Kakashi throws him on his back on the bed and then jumps right in, tickling the boy, blowing raspberries on his tummy, and straining him by his arms. Naruto stays perfectly slack, doesn't try to fight back or take control over the situation, and Kakashi wonders if it is in his nature to just trust Kakashi like this, or it’s something Naruto worked on for Sasuke’s benefit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is a fleeting thought of Sasuke holding Naruto like this in a sexualy sintet scenario, but he quickly shakes his head so thoughts like these would leave him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bedtime story my favourite child wants now,” Kakashi muses and lies on his back so Naruto can cuddle close to Kakashi’s side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looks down on him, offers a smile and with his mask still on he noses at the side of Naruto’s temple. Naruto gives a content and somewhat submissive sound, and if Kakashi was a lesser man, he’d conclude </span>
  <em>
    <span>things </span>
  </em>
  <span>from this single sound. Naruto stays pleasantly oblivious, which, to a lesser man, would be a bit frustrating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Kakashi holds the happy blob close to his chest, his other hand behind his head. “A long, long time ago…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, sitting on the roof close to Kakashi’s room, listened to the story about how Minato met Kushina, and he felt quite content. It was dark now, and he was happy Naruto and Kakashi found their way to one another. Where Kakashi was sad and alone, Naruto seemed content now, settled. Between the friends he had, between Sasuke, between Tsunade and Iruka and Kakashi, who was something akin to a father figure to the blond, Sasuke felt quite settled. He listened to the nice baritone of his sensei, listened to Naruto’s giggles, and his sniffling, when Kakashi gets to the point where he met his teacher, a broken, sad, and lonely Kakashi, and how the said teacher helped him to find friendship, and love, eventually. And how Minato gave him the most important thing to his future, a small little baby that Kakashi found near his dying teacher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can agree with Naruto now, when he listens to them both silently crying and whispering words of “sorry, I’m so sorry, Naruto” and “I don't blame you, it’s not your fault”. Kakashi was, in his eyes now, strong for not giving up, for fighting to live. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least, that’s what Sasuke gets out of this. Naruto is happier with Kakashi around, and Sasuke… ah, screw this. Sasuke is happy he’s got Kakashi, too. There is, yet again, a conversation they are to have, a conversation about where exactly they stand, what do they think about one another, how content Naruto is with Kakashi keeping close to their little bubble. Sasuke is deliberately postponing this moment, this conversation. He’s not ready to be publicly ashamed, and he also isn't ready to cry in front of anyone else but his Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(He is ready to accept Kakashi into his life, he just… is an </span>
  <em>
    <span>Uchiha about it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, what do you guys want me to say.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumps off the roof soundlessly, ready for maybe another stroll, maybe to go to sleep. He is glad they are forming a strong relationship, of course. But Sasuke still misses his blond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ino and I have got a bet going on,” Sakura speaks from the patio. It doesn't startle the Uchiha, but he is still surprised she’s standing there. And she had been, judging by her calm, undisturbed expression she watches the skies with, resting her forearms on the terrace railing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard about that,” Sasuke mumbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don't mean the </span>
  <em>
    <span>who tops</span>
  </em>
  <span> one, that is all on Kakashi,” Sakura smirks and takes the tree steps down to side with Sasuke, continuing to the beach. “I mean the one we have on you and Kakashi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke raises his eyebrows, and his cheeks go pink, but due to the darkness Sasuke hopes it remains a secret. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ino thinks you’ll never forgive him, but you’ll accept Naruto being close to him so much you even actively ask Naruto to spend time with him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke briefly remembers the bet on them Kiba told him about. Their generation seems to be obsessed with bets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think,” Sakura smiles to herself, “on the other hand,” she starts to unzip the top of her outfit. “That all of this needs more than just time, and that's words. Kakashi is quite good with those, but he tends to be quite the bullhead. Just like you. And so he won't talk to you out of respect, and you won't talk to him out of… well, probably being Uchiha.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She actually has the nerve to giggle and Sasuke sneers at her, while the young woman next to him takes off her shirt, and bra. Sasuke watches her nipples being apparent even in this darkness, as half a moon gives them enough light for them to orient themselves. Sasuke doesn't know why, he just takes off his own shirt, too, letting it fall to the ground, as they walk closer to the shore, where the ocean is quiet, present, offering just the smallest of motion. And Sakura never stops looking forward, watching the ocean, taking her shorts and underwear off, too. Sasuke follows, letting their clothes behind them, walking into the nicely warm water, walking till they are waist-deep, then they switch to swimming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura changes her position to merge on her back, sighing contently. Sasuke watches her breasts, her perky nipples standing up due to the warm water and a bit colder breeze. Her silent lips. Her hip bone, visible with every breath she takes. Sasuke swims closer in a sudden need - of what, he doesn't know.  He just - he just outstretched his arms under her in the water, as to hold her above the surface, as if he’s scared she’ll drown and disappear, submerging into the darkness, leaving him here alone, in the half a moon light, above the dark eternal ocean. He imagines Naruto merging on the surface like this, and out of sudden carnal instinct he catches her into his arms, holding her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura doesn't move, doesn't look surprised - she’d never imagined her naked self being held by the boy she’s been crushing on since she was a child, but this situation is a bit different. Sakura knows Sasuke isn't much of a talker, Naruto being his only exception. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I annoy you by talking?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke scans her face. There’s no indication she perceives this situation as sexual - even though it is, slightly. He slowly shakes his head then, and holds her a bit firmer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been wondering, since… you and Naruto became friends,” she breaks their shared silence in a while, her eyes wide open and watching the stars scattered sky. “If… If you’d be happier, were your parents alive now. If you've never lost them, and the rest of your family, and your brother. Seeing the tragedy never happened, seeing your clan in full power. Would you… be happier, then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke knows the answer. He is also kind of ashamed of that, but Naruto made him see options he didn't see earlier, and he had to consider the fact that Itachi actually might have… done the right thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I also wonder that in this scenario, would you ever become friends with Naruto, to develop this relationship?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That is another thing that’s been crossing Sasuke’s mind lately. If his father was still alive - would he allow Sasuke not being with a woman, when his time comes? Would Fugaku ever accept Sasuke being in love with Naruto? And worse, would Sasuke, even to himself, being his father still alive, ever accept </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself </span>
  </em>
  <span>being in love with Naruto? Would Fugaku see him as a failure? Would he still insist on Sasuke to marry, no matter his feelings? Would Sasuke rebel, would he stand up to this kind of toxic behaviour? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Who would Sasuke be, if his family was still alive? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Would he be happier? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d be probably stronger. He’d also probably be more hateful. He’d be everything Kurama said he hates about Uchihas. He’d be proud, pretentious, arrogant, hateful and vengeful. He’d have no friends, no feelings, only the venom of his clan in his mind, in his eyes, in his blood. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Alternative scenarios 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry to all who are awaiting sasunaru this chapter - it's not necessary for anyone to read, there is some sasuke and sakura forming their friendship. Dont worry, this scene proves Sasuke wants Naruto and noone else, and chapters afterwards will be yet again about kakashi, naruto and sasuke.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is silence among them, before Sakura speaks aloud again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I also wonder… what would Naruto be like, if his parents… never died? Would Kakashi and him grow up basically like brothers? Would Naruto be the smartest, the seal-master before even graduating from Academy? He’d be best friends with Shikamaru, and probably Kiba. He’d be to marry Hinata, I think, to maintain the power of clans, and also the strongest clans together. If… I think maybe that if Naruto had a sister, she’d be to marry you, or Itachi. For the same clan reasons.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke imagines this scenario in his head. Their families still alive, the calming presence of yondaime as their leader, with Naruto and Shikamaru as leaders of their generation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’d be a part of elite police units of Konoha, siding with your father,” Sakura whispers then. “Naruto would probably lead his own team as a jounin, maybe taking a few years in ANBU with Ino and Neji.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura is so suprised Sasuke is actually listening to her, actually probably thinking about it with her, imagining this possible universe, she looks into his onyx eyes and her body loses the control of merging, but Sasuke is right there, holding her body above the surface, helping her relax again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” She seems perplexed, but quite fast finds her cool, even now, looking into his disturbingly dark and attractive eyes. “Thank you. I… ehm, I think I’d be way less motivated, without the two of you in the same team.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We wouldn't be in the same team?” Sasuke asks, confused, but then… of course they wouldn't. Naruto wouldn't be the worst student in class, he’d be a genius of his own team, shikamaru of his, and Sasuke himself would… who knows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It makes me sad, knowing that even… with your family, you still wouldn't be happy,” Sakura then concludes. “But at the same time, seeing you with Naruto… and sometimes, seeing you with Shikamaru and Kakashi, too… that makes my heart warmer.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke watches her expresion, her white skin, her nipples, still erected, her stomach muscles, her shaved groin and legs. She’s beautiful, he can say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are a feared opponent even among our generation, do you know that?” Sakura asks after a while of her watching Sasuke watching her. It does feel good, knowing Sasuke cares, in his fucked up way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware,” Sasuke muses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura doesn't smile because she's focusing on not doing so. As a medic, she knows a bit about psychology, too. And Sasuke speaking even when a nod would be enough to communicate his answer to her? That was an amazing progress in their relationship. Also him looking at Sakura with obvious interest. Moreover he’s aware he’s staring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Most people wouldn't feel safe here, like this, with you - naked, six feet deep in the ocean, in the middle of nowhere.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks up from her groin, where he can see her pussylips separatign slightly, to look directly into her eyes again. “You do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't a question, so Sakura didn't need to answer. She closed her eyes and let Sasuke completely manipulate her body. Sasuke lets her body merge on the water, releases her from his hold, but stays close. Sakura lets her eyes closed, focusing on breathing, and on Sasuke’s closeness. Sasuke’s arms are back under her body, touching her between her shoulder blades and on her tights right under her bum. She feels light goosebumps spilling from her neck down her spine, her nipples perking up, her eyes opening wide. Sasuke lets his hand wander, bringing it to the front side of her thigh, to her hipbone and her stomach, on her boobs, with his thumb over her nipple, with his wide palm around her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watches him without movement, she lets him touch her where he wants and how he wants, and her heartbeat doesn't quicken even when Sasuke circles his fingers around her throat. Sakura looks him deep in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is a shame,” she murmurs as she feels herself getting wet, when Sasuke lets go of her throat, touching her milky skin above the collarbone and left breast, down through the middle of her stomach and straigh towards her shaved crotch just to feel, but immediately moving to her thighs again. “You’d be a good fuck buddy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke raises a brow and slides his hand to her inner thigh and touching further, till his fingers reach her pussylips, soft and warm, and Sasuke doesn't hesitate to push his thumb between her lips and rubs her clit twice, thrice, before his thumb reaches down and teases her entering, just to make sure for… for himself. Sakura smirks and reaches for Sasuke’s dick to find he’s completely soft. Sakura expected as much. “Now you are just teasing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not me you want,” he answers and withdraws. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn't answer, not specifically. “How did you find out?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the first direct dialog they’ve ever attempted. “He actually isn't as discreet as he thinks he is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think he finds it inappropriate, anyway. Age difference, and him being my sensei…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lets go of her private parts, but holds her nonetheless. “He’s a lot like me in certain things.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura rolls her eyes, a bit annoyed now. “Wow, so I have a type, sue me, asshole.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke snorts and Sakura has to look up to make sure she actually heard right. She did, by the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, he’d never ask. He doesn't think he deserves good things in his life,” Sasuke explains. “So he just… hopes for the best, but expects the worst.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting all wise when naked,” she mocks him while actually appreciates his explanation, but also his… approval. “So you think I should offer?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you are waiting for him to make a move, you might receive nothing but friendship,” Sasuke tells her. “If sex is what you want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura has to agree on that: “I don't think he’s emotionally available.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s… he’s never imagined himself with anyone else. For that matter. Too fucked up to… you know. Mean something to anyone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck ups with hot body, is what I’m into apparently…” Sakura chuckles and Sasuke follows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets go of her body completely and Sakura turns around in the water to swim back. He didn't expect Sakura to treat him with certain hostility, and he didn't expect his own attempt to seduce her, just to… just to what. Tease her? Just to see what it is like? Just to provide answers for when Naruto asks? Just to see if he really isn't into women? Sasuke follows her to the beach, wondering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d never expect I’ll ever see you this relaxed,” Sakura muses, picking up her clothes. “Never expected you to keep me company.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't mind her company now. She’s all grown up, with her priorities set straight and her opinions are shaping her personality well. Sasuke likes the woman Sakura grew into. His eyes linger to her boobs, and he does seem fascinated with them. Sakura notices. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can touch, if you want,” she offers half joking, half serious. “I don't mind, and I don't think of it as anything that it is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s hand twitches, then he looks in her eyes and actually follows her consent, touching the underside of her left boob. It’s slightly bigger than the right one, but only a little. She’s got nice B cups or slightly bigger, not too small and not too big. Her nipples go instantly hard and she chuckles at that. Sasuke rubs his thumb over it, and lets go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feeling better?” she asks wholeheartedly, like she thinks Sasuke touching her like this is endearing in a way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke touches once again and she stays still, watching him play with her boobs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's a strange thing, isn't it, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sakura thinks to herself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How trauma works on people.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto is kinda fascinated too, I think,” Sakura says out loud. “He’d never dare, but I know he is. It’s alright, just so you know. It probably doesn't… it’s not sexual, from any of you. It’s just comfortable during cuddles, if the two of you are ever interested.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke would think, a year back, he’d ever consider this as a serious invitation, but he is, now. He can see Sakura in their life as Shikamaru is now. He likes this Sakura. She doesn't see ghosts in everything, and she’s firmly focused on herself and her growth. Sasuke can appreciate a good old self inspection. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Dark nights by the ocean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who was your first?” Sasuke asks suddenly, still touching her, now right under her boobs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I don't count some sloppy oral with Kiba and some fooling around with Lee? A civilian, I don't… I got a bit drunk and we were dancing with one of the villagers.. I guess we found his room sooner than another bottle of alcohol.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke briefly remembers Sakura kissing some civilian boy outside the Yamanaka flower shop a few weeks back. Was it him? He was a bit older than Sakura, taller, handsome for sure, but not Sasuke’s type at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he’d be good,” Sakura mumbles, watching Sasuke absently playing with her nipple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke knows she’s thinking about Kakashi. He withdraws his hand and offers a smirk. “And a decade older.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Experience</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke. Also, have you seen his body? And furthermore, there’s way too much sex in the Icha Icha he reads for him not to be good in it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Switched to yaoi, remember?” Sasuke reminds her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura starts walking back to the beach house, picking up all her clothes on her way. Sasuke follows, waiting for a teasing answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't switch. Once a bi, always a bi,” she quotes him, but then gets serious. “Hm, I probably wouldn't mind a threesome with one of his male ANBU friends…” Sakura announces thoughtfully and Sasuke can only as much as raise his eyebrow. What the fuck…? “He can even leave his mask on, that’d be hot - do you think Kakashi’d be into that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke knows he himself wouldn't. And Kakashi? Well, he’s a dirty, dirty man, with a dirty, dirty mind. But it also depends. “If sex is what you want from him, probably yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think we could ever be more?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can't tell if her question is hopeful or just conventional. “He’d need a lot of understanding. And probably… he’d probably have to at least once say the entire story of it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke frowns, well, of- and then he stops himself. Oh, yes - Kakashi’s never told a single soul. Well, he told him, and Naruto knows, too, but that's because Naruto’s basically his son now. And Naruto also doesn't know Kakashi… well, Sasuke himself isn't perfectly sure what happened, what led to Obito’s death exactly, what happened, why, how much Kakashi blames himself for it, what exactly was even between them. Were they bestfriends and Kakashi was in love, scared to tell him? Did Obito know? Was his love reciprocated? Was Kakashi strong enough then to realize he was in love, or he concluded to himself after he lost him? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wasn't exactly sure what happened, and at the same time he was the one who aside from Kakashi knew the most of this story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of what, Sasuke?” Sakura repeats, when Sasuke doesn't answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don't know, I’m not allowed to tell you,” Sasuke decides to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He expects Sakura to pry and demand answers, but she just nods, making a low confirming sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke opens the door into the kitchen and slides them shut behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the swim, and the talk,” Sakura smiles at him. “I enjoyed both.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke smirks: “You’d enjoy someone else in my place more.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura giggles, but doesn't disagree with him. She offers a wave and a “good night, ‘ske.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke offers a confirming sound, and while she goes upstairs to probably wash the salt off and sleep, Sasuke stalls in the kitchen. He doesn't know if he wants to go to the empty bedroom he’s supposed to share with Naruto, but he really has no other choice. He can't just - </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He eyes the clothes he’s carrying, all in one pile, unfolded, a mess. So am I, Sasuke thinks to himself, remembering his love for Naruto, his finger at Sakura’s entrance, the longing face of his sensei. Well, they all are a mess. Sasuke folds his clothes, a little damp from the wet sand, and a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>salty</span>
  </em>
  <span>, probably from his personality. He can't stop the fond smile that forms on his lips. Sakura might be good for them, too, in the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naked as he is (and he finds a certain freedom in that), he takes some fruit and a glass of water to keep him and his thoughts company. Lately, he realizes, stunned, he doesn't like to spend his time alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a surprising challenge, because he thought he’s made for himself and noone else, that he’s too… well, Uchiha, to be shared with anyone else. Naruto was a bomb into his life of course, but even after him, he never believed he’d be… social, </span>
  <em>
    <span>friendly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, for fuck’s sake, even. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But lately, his thoughts seem to wander to what Shiki is doing, was he lying in grass close to the park, watching the skies and thinking about him and Naruto? Thinking about the past or future? Is Kakashi reading his hentai, or yaoi today? What would Kiba remark at this and that situation? What would Ino say about this or that? And now, he even asks himself - is Sakura in the bath, masturbating over what happened? Was she thinking about Kakashi, or the boys she sleeps around with? And what is Neji up to - is he gonna take the jounin exams next year with them? He seemed weirdly content with not speaking, but rather enjoying all the shenanigans Naruto, Kiba and mostly Ino or Lee get themselves into. He even helped to get them out of trouble (like that time Naruto thought sneaking in ANBU base to steal their masks is a great idea, and for some reason Ino agreed with him, and then of course Kiba helped “planning” the entire stealth mission, to which Shikamaru pointed out makes no sense (of course in silence, and only for Sasuke to hear), so when Anko found out the three of them are trying to sneak to the main room, Neji of course helped to explain (alongside with Sasuke), that they are just training, they meant no harm - and then, when Anko was distracted by two extremely attractive chuunins, Naruto sneaked out and stole three ANBU masks, grinned at his saviours, and all three of them ran off the window, while Sasuke and Neji kept Anko occupied for more than fifteen minutes just pretending they care about gossip -</span>
  <em>
    <span> valuable info, Sasuke!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kakashi corrected him exasperatedly -, before they cut and run from her, finding Naruto running to the hokage’s office, showing off perfect teamwork and stolen masks, for what Tsunade called him a “a brat, a thief, an idiot, and complete incompetent ignorant of rules of this city” and “the most promishing ANBU captain since Itachi”</span>
  <em>
    <span> in the same sentence</span>
  </em>
  <span>), whenever they need him. Maybe, in the end, he was wrong most of life, and he wasn't set on a path of lonesome avenger. Maybe his nature is more social, happier. Maybe his nature is… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't know how he finds his way to their room, dark and cold and empty, and watches their empty, still made bed with a frown. There is silence in the house, indicating everyone else is asleep. Sasuke takes the shower - he can feel the anxiety growing in him. He doesn't want to spend the night alone. He wants company, but at the same time, he feels guilty for so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke feels himself slightly shaking. He takes his clean clothes from his bag and flees the room without a second thought. He doesn't know what the time is, but it must be well past midnight, when he enters Kakashi’s room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't speak, doesn't move, just listens. Naruto is deep asleep, but Kakashi is awake. Sasuke takes a few steps so he can see the man’s face. He is looking straight at him, keeping Naruto cuddled close to his chest with his (dominant) right hand, clutching the sleeping form to his side. Sasuke doesn't know what to say, what to do, why is he here, how to explain. So he just stands there. After a moment of silence, Kakashi lets his other arm unfold from above his head and stretches it out on the other half of the bed, offering Sasuke his other side to cuddle into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s cheeks burn with flames, but he decides he’s not an avenger. He’s not fueled by hatred. Not now, when the love in his heart is bigger than the hate. He’s not alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke cuddles himself close to Kakashi, hiding his face in the man’s neck, careful not to disturb Naruto, lying on Kakashi’s other shoulder. Kakashi tucks the Uchiha in as well as he can with just one hand, and lets it lie outstretched on the bed, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. But when Sasuke whispers a silent, broken “I don't want to be alone,”, Kakashi hides him under his wing, lets his student cuddle and hide in as much as he wants, keeping his hand on his back and on his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are not,” Kakashi whispers, nosing at the side of his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke settles, his cheeks still heated up, but he feels safe, the bed is comfortable, and he’s not alone. He finds in Kakashi’s arms comfort and safety as much as embarrassment - but the latter one is fading. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stirs in Kakashi’s arms, probably disturbed by the movement, another chakra source this close to him, and the jounin is so quick to mumble a silent, “shh, Naru, sleep, mine,” and kisses the side of his head patting his bum in a slow tempo, that Naruto doesn't even open his eyes and is soundly asleep again. Sasuke wonders if this would ever work on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then it kind of hits him - he’s cuddling… Kakashi. He willingly came here with this exact purpose. He didn't come to find and wake Naruto up to cuddle him, please. He came here to… to find </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kakashi</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He came in and said those words to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kakashi</span>
  </em>
  <span>, cuddled to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kakashi's </span>
  </em>
  <span>side, let him hold him, and witnessed him at his vulnerable. He freezes in the spot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi notices of course, and while he isn't nearly as close with Sasuke as he is with their blond, he decides to fuck all the rules they silently settled at during the daylight, when everytihng is clear and they have to face their truths and their lies and their lives, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But at night, in the darkness? Things are different, and Kakashi knows that. So he just hits the ‘fuck it’ button. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets his palm slide to Sasuke’s bum and in a slow tempo starts patting him, like you would a baby. Sasuke can't help it but instantly feel sleepy, and settled, and warm, and comfortable, and just too nice to worry about anything at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, shh,” Kakashi purrs silently to the raven haired boy, kissing the side of his head. “You are not alone, Sasuke. Shh, shh. We are all here for you. Shh, shh, sleep tight, my dear. Shh, shh, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is asleep in seconds. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. The morning after</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There goes the "morning after" for Sasuke and Kakashi, and I know you all are awaiting the "sasunaru" here and their cuddles and all, but I am currently working on closing off the circle of events to successfuly end this story, and for that, we need to know a bit of the plot here, outside the sasunaru little bubble. </p><p>For those who are questioning me misleading this story to a development between other characters; dont worry, I'm currently working on a chapter where Sasuke and Nauto share their first kiss :). (And dont worry, it's as innocent and as cute, as you all have been hoping for.) After all, Sasuke and Naruto are the main characters for this story, but... aren't you curious to see what happened to Obito and Kakashi...? That's why the next arc is going to be about. Mostly.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is one thing Sasuke dislikes about Kakashi as much as he likes it - he always keeps his word. He promised, right when Sasuke came to his bed, he’ll be here the whole time, even after Sasuke wakes up - and yes, he actually still is here, lying on his back, one hand around Sasuke, the other one… also on Sasuke, gently caressing his forearm. Naruto’s gone, but before Sasuke starts to panic, Kakashi speaks aloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s downstairs, meditating and training.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gets pink in his face. He hoped Kakashi will be gone when he wakes up, or that Sasuke will wake up sooner than him and silently leaves the room for morning training. But he… </span>
  <em>
    <span>ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He promised he’ll stay till Sasuke wakes up, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s here, and at night to Sasuke it seemed like a good thing, like something he wants and needs in that moment, in the emptiness of his soul - he needed warmth and an </span>
  <em>
    <span>adult</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he seeked comfort and safety. But now, when the moment is gone and the repressed fear under the cover of darkness slipped between his fingers, he is embarrassed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ashamed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that he ever needed the protective arms of his superior to feel calm enough to fall asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You slept so soundly,” Kakashi then whispers like a secret, nosing at the side of Sasuke’s head, gently, softly - like he’s aware Sasuke is indeed embarrassed. “You didn't even move.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke usually sleeps without movement. It’s a part of his training, part of how he needs to be as protected as possible, so much he doesn't move, doesn't make a sound when he is vulnerable, in pain, or even asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s weird to be said those things, especially by his sensei. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing is, Sasuke is awake now. He should bolt out of Kakashi’s arms, get up and say something like,</span>
  <em>
    <span> I had a weak moment, I apologize</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or something like this. He knows if it really was just a heat of the moment, loneliness and his fear, and the inner demons acting up, tearing his self-awareness down just like they tended to, especially in the dark of nights, he’d now left the bed already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’s still there, in the same spot, lying here like he had for most of the night: cuddled close to Kakashi, who was softly holding him by his lower back, hand on his shoulder, arm on his muscular chest. It’s comfortable. It’s so, so comfortable, Sasuke doesn't want to leave. He's embarrassed about it, he’s blushing, he’s hiding his face and rolling his eyes at himself. He is quite </span>
  <em>
    <span>vulgar </span>
  </em>
  <span>to himself in his mind, but this attitude doesn't change a thing about how he feels in Kakashi’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you sleep well?” Kakashi asks silently, tiptoeing around the issue they have with one another - they act, but they never talk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are adults, both of them if Sasuke insists (and Sasuke does). They should be able to have an adult conversation about their feelings. Sasuke offers a slow nod and hides his face in Kakashi’s side, hoping not to be seen. Kakashi offers a slow, tentative stroke to Sasuke’s back and no matter how embarrassed the prodigy is, he does lean in the gesture, accepting the cuddles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi keeps silent, and Sasuke kinda hates it. He knows Kakashi and him have a gentleman's agreement on this; Sasuke pretends he is wary of his sensei, and Kakashi pretends Sasuke is his equal, unless surviving a dangerous or emotionally disturbing situation - but…. </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But Sasuke got used to cuddles and company. And he got used to words of praise and care and admiration and love and affection, too, so this, Kakashi offering cuddles, but keeping quiet is like… is like coming undone. It’s frustrating and shortcoming and just… just </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay. Sasuke knows if it was Naruto here instead of him, Kakashi would keep the gentle, sweet, father-like tone, talking about anything and everything, keeping Sasuke coaxed into a calm, safe space in his head, but Kakashi, knowing he’s not  welcomed in Sasuke’s emotional space, keeps quiet and just pushes the boundaries very slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too slowly, if you ask Sasuke now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Kakashi himself? He felt the most alive since Obito. He held two boys he loves the most in this entire world close to himself, kept them safe and cuddled and comfortable and warm, and he felt… he felt alive, as happy as he never imagined himself he’d ever be, after all had happened during the war, and after. Sasuke was a big issue for Kakashi, and he considered every hug, every words the boy directed to him, a blessing. He loves Sasuke nearly as much as Naruto now - he can't help it, he helped raise them both, no matter how much he fucked up in the past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes a hold of Sasuke’s lithe body and brings him closer to himself, cuddles him firmer to his body, and Sasuke’s heart skips a beat. He didn't expect this - this kind of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>safety</span>
  </em>
  <span>, belonging, and the tingling feeling he’s got at the back of his head, the “you are safe, let your guard down”, and the feeling of his own analytical, perfectly trained consciousness slipping away from his brain and leaving only vulnerable, cuddly, soft, keening Sasuke behind, and it’s almost too much, it’s too soon, Sasuke feels like he’s falling and he doesn't know why, he doesn't want to let his guard down, he’s scared to be vulnerable - but there it is, it’s too late and he might panic now because this isn't something he expected, consented to or is comfortable, he needs his control back, he’s too open here, too vulnerable, he feels the need to hide and to let someone else protect him, and it’s the same feeling he has in Naruto’s arms, in a way, but a bit altered here. With Naruto, the feeling is content, and he’s feeling safe and open, but not vulnerable, well, maybe, but with Naruto he consents to this feeling. Because Naruto is his one and only, Naruto is the love of his life and they agreed they’ll stay together forever, because that’s what it is, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But with Kakashi, he feels open and vulnerable, embarrassed and stripped down to his naked form emotionally speaking. And Kakashi isn't the one and only, and Kakashi makes him feel like something base, something </span>
  <em>
    <span>primal </span>
  </em>
  <span>awoken in Sasuke; and that didn't send him into a safe space like Naruto’s presence always does, but sends him in… in a place he doesn't really have a conscious memory of. Like… like somewhere deep in his mind, somewhere, where Sasuke has no… has no strength to fight for himself, to decide about himself. Sasuke isn't used to someone coddling him, taking care of him, providing safety for him, and while with Naruto it is a congenial, pleasurable feeling based on growth, presence and consent, with Kakashi it’s…. it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>raw</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And too quick. Like if with the touch, by the simple gesture of Kakashi bringing him closer to his brutally trained, well muscled and strong body, Sasuke lost all his ability to… to… to </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A child</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke realizes in his rapidly lowering self-awareness, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I feel… in his arms, I feel… like a child. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the meantime of Sasuke’s mild emotional crisis, Kakashi holds one arm around Sasuke’s entire body, palm resting on his bum, and his other one is stroking his hair at the back of Sasuke’s head. Sasuke feels himself calm immediately. He’s wrapped tight in Kakashi’s arms, breathing in his scent, and he feels safe, content, comfortable. His guard is down, he’s unaware of his surroundings, he can only relax now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It might be minutes. Might be hours, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Sasuke, in his vulnerable, unguarded state, looks up to see his teacher looking at him, the fog in his head slightly subdues and the Uchiha can feel his consciousness taking hold of his thoughts again, he finds the courage to finally speak: “I guess… we need to talk.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi agrees without a word, but with a slow stroke of Sasuke’s back. He’s reluctant to let go and Sasuke is happy about that. There is silence that follows, till Sasuke gets up, keeping his back to Kakashi (mostly out of embarrassment). “Thank… you. For… for yesterday.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea what it meant for me,” Kakashi slowly speaks. “How much… your trust means to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s face lits up, shying away from his teacher. He wants to say something, but the embarrassment is too big to face his sensei. <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now, at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Kakashi can live with that, for now.) </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do I end up in hell for this? Probably yes. <br/>Do I regret this? Absolutely not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. You love me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke flees the room to get to Naruto and ask for advice, but what he sees when he finally sees him takes his breath away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is standing outside in the back garden only in tight black pants, stretching. He probably had a morning swim in the ocean, then some training and now he’s just easing himself into a day full of adventures. Sasuke can't help but, unseen, watch his best friend's movements, his handsome, rested face, his attractive body. Sasuke can't help but come back in his thoughts to the events of yesterday’s shower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is curious. Traumatized even on a sexual level enough to not feel primal, sexual need himself, but he is curious enough to cause sexual pleasure to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sasuke</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Fully content, fully aware of consequences, what it means and what it could change. Well, in Naruto's eyes, nothing really, he probably considers this just another way of helping Sasuke out. But at the same time, Sasuke needs a way to help Naruto to progress a natural way in his sexuality and sexual awareness, too. Even though he’s not sure what to do, where to start, how to show him. He might ask for help, when he comes back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look beautiful,” Naruto speaks and Sasuke blushes - he quickly looks from Naruto’s stomach and abdomen abs to his eyes. “I’ve never seen you this well-rested.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This one makes Sasuke blush even deeper. “I... “ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't have to excuse yourself, or explain why you slept so well in Kakashi’s arms,” Naruto smiles at him and comes closer to hug him. “I’m glad you are rested enough to handle me all day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is still slightly embarrassed, but he chuckles when replying: “I’m always ready to handle you, all day and all night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto kisses his neck and Sasuke follows his gesture, kissing his cheek, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We kiss quite often,” Naruto notes, kissing Sasuke once again on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke offers his trademark “hn”, but Naruto isn't having it. “Communication, Sasuke.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I don't know what you want me to say,” Sasuke explains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you are actually biting your tongue, when you do the “hn” thing. Don't, mine. Don't, not… not with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke knows this isn't - </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine?</span>
  </em>
  <span> - something he’s proud of, but Naruto is right. If he is honest with him, Sasuke should, too. </span>
  <em>
    <span>(Mine?) </span>
  </em>
  <span>“...Love it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto grins and Sasuke can feel it, the shape his mouth take, as Naruto kisses his collarbone. “I love it, too. Kissing you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m biting my tongue,” Sasuke whispers. “I don't want to, it’s just... “ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't have to excuse yourself, Sasuke,” Naruto stops him. “I’m not here to judge you. I just want you to take what you want, what you find comfort in, because I think you deserve it. And I want you to be happy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is silent for a while, kissing the sun-kissed skin most of the time, and then, after quite a while, he says, “You said, a year or so ago… you feel like you don't give me enough in this friendship. That… that it’s me who invests so much in this friendship and you don't provide a half of what I do. Remember that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I feel like that now. I feel like I can never… ever, at all, give you a half of what you gave me,” Sasuke murmurs, hiding his face in Naruto’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto wraps him in his arms, heavy and strong and </span>
  <em>
    <span>important</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and just holds on. “You are my family now. My everything. Never feel like you don't give me enough for you give me every reason to be myself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke squeezes Naruto's waist and urges him with this gesture to jump in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to spend today with you,” Sasuke whispers, as Naruto giggles to his hairline by his neck. “I want you to be your adorable five years old self, and give Kakashi and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so we can feel alive.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto keeps giggling, and then playfully bites down at the back of Sasuke’s neck - and Sasuke moans as chills spill down his spine. Naruto backs up a bit, eyeing Sasuke’s embarrassed face and the place where he bit him, leaving a fading, but still obvious bite mark on his porcelain skin. Sasuke carefully eases his chakra to stop his dick from becoming hard again. This is turning into a serious issue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ano, Sasuke,” Naruto wonders out loud. “If you didn't perfectly control your chakra… would you be hard again?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said okay!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You obviously don't believe me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you obviously lie!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do not!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just admit you are a hard, cold, lying bitch!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the entire <em>fuck</em>, Naruto?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You a- hey, I actually always loved this phrase, ‘cause, like, claiming there is an</span>
  <em>
    <span> entire fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>means on the scale of fuckery there is the possibility of a partial fuck, given the option? Like, when I say something that’s crossing a certain line, but like not as much as it <em>could</em> - something like, “what the seven eights of a fuck, Naruto?” or so? I mean -” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious,” Sasuke deadpans, not sure if he should laugh, swat his bum or agree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Well yeah," Naruto grins at the Uchiha. "Like, nine elevenths serious.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke hugs his idiot friend close and laughs in his shoulder. “You are an idiot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You love me,” Naruto smiles wickedly while Sasuke stutters over his own tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning!” Sakura behind them greets them happily. “Anyone up for breakfast?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!” Naruto yells and runs into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stays dumbfounded just there, with his arms still wide open like he’d still held Naruto in them, his eyes wide open too, his mouth gasping for air his lungs are yet to receive. And while the golden child is already in the kitchen looking for something to eat, Sakura’s look lingers on her newest friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How much longer are we all to wait,” She says then, slowly, teasingly, and with that kind of smile Sasuke just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>she heard them. “Even now, when </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> called you out on your bullshit, too?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not aware-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hungry!” Naruto sprints from the kitchen right back into Sasuke’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, of course you are, love,” Sasuke murmurs and is glad he doesn't have to continue this debate with </span>
  <em>
    <span>vicious </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sakura. “Let’s see what do we have here for you, hn? Did you have your pre-training food?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, waited for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for oversleeping, sweets, it’s never gon-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up, we are on vacation, you’ll be sleeping as much and as late as you want,” Naruto interrupts him, his voice a bit dark, dangerous undertones surfacing up Sasuke hasnt really heard before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't want to have a conversation about Sasuke letting himself do good, comfortable, sometimes lazy things, too. Not with Sakura here to hear this. Naruto knows Sasuke isn't comfortable, sharing his personal issues with anyone else but him. Therefore he immediately after restores back to his five years old self. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FOOD FOOD FOOD!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhm. Eh-, f-food. What about some eggs, maybe bacon, if there is any? And you can have some orange juice now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Toast!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you can have a toast. With butter?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright. What about you, Sakura?” Sasuke turns his head to her - Kakashi is finally coming downstairs, and even Sasuke has to admit, he is quite the eye candy, if you are into this type of man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair is a mess (a sexy mess, in a way), he’s wearing swim-shorts now and the spandex black top with a cover on his face. His forehead protector is gone, and his sharingan is on full display. Sasuke feels weirdly threatened - Kakashi isn't his enemy, there’s no reason to activate his (but he still does). Kakashi notices, but doesn't oppose. He knows what it is like to feel threatened, and as far as Kakashi is aware, at this moment Sasuke feels, mostly emotionally, threatened for different reasons than still pretending Kakashi is a stranger, someone he doesn't feel safe around with. Sasuke does feel safe around the man, and that is the reason he feels threatened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have some yogurt and fruit, if possible?” Sakura, as always the balancing force in this team, knows when to treat the social weirdos like the social weirdos, and when to behave like everything is perfectly normal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There is some blueberry one, if you are a fan,” Kakashi offers lightly, taking a mango. “I’d join with some eggs and toast, if possible.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke nods and prepares as much, offering Sakura some space by the fridge. She offers to make some tea and Kakashi offers half of his mango to her. Sasuke can't stop the blush creeping up his face - this is… this is so </span>
  <em>
    <span>domestic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he can't deal with this. So calm, homey, mild and light, everything is… he’s… there's safety and good, light mood and Naruto is staying close to him and Kakashi’s movements are a bit too slow, his sharingan is observant rather than offending and Sasuke realizes this is exactly what it is; Kakashi is remembering for his whole life this exact moment, probably this exact day. The calm morning he probably had with Naruto, the stolen cuddles with Sasuke, his own time to face the ocean. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, those are things worth memorizing, if you ask Sasuke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cookies!” Naruto reminds the jounin, and Kakashi all but grins to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There still are some muffins for you to-” Sakura starts as Naruto eats the last one. “...Never mind. Cookies it is today, then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She eyes his abs, and biceps (and ass), and slowly raises her eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got no idea where he stores all the food, either,” Sasuke mumbles as Naruto happily skips to the table to annoy Kakashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Kakashi isn't annoyed at all, he just offers some of the mango to his student, and then an orange, and a banana, and a dragon fruit, and a peach.<br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are still growing, aren't you?” Kakashi smiles at his baby student and offers him a fig. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he gets sugar high, you are one dealing with him,” Sasuke mumbles in his direction as Kakashi feeds the blond devil a kiwi fruit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is happily having his fruits and pays zero attention to what the adults are talking about, because he has food Kakashi's feeding him, and he's got Sasuke right here in the same room, and he's a happy little five years old with attention spawn of a fly, so he doesn't have to pay attention or listen to the adults, because he knows if there is anything serious or important going on, Kakashi will later explain using Sesame street explanation techniques and humour (including the voices) and finger puppets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he gets sugar high,” Kakashi argues feeding his baby with lichi, “you won't even let me near him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, Sasuke </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves </span>
  </em>
  <span>sugar high Naruto for many reasons - one of them being he’s the snuggliest, and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweetest </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing around, ever.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(And he’s not sure he wants to share that with Kakashi.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Well, maybe. But only maybe.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Kakashi’s content with the “maybe" here, for now.) </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I mean. </p><p>c'mon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take him to the patio,” Sakura tells Kakashi, referring to their baby. “I’ve always wanted breakfast on the patio by the beach.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke would never admit he loves the idea. But he doesn't have to, because the second the other half of the team disappears outside, Sakura full on laughs at Sasuke: “I can't even tell if I pity you, or envy you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is there to pity?” Sasuke asks, handling the toasts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, obviously you, suffering? You are worse than I was around you, all the years back. I mean - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, Sasuke. He loves you with everything he’s got.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m not sure.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you fucking with m- Sasuke, what the fuck?” Sakura isn't one to swear, but desperate times…, ...and she is becoming desperate. It’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>obvious </span>
  </em>
  <span>Naruto wants nothing but his best friend, and Sasuke is deadly </span>
  <em>
    <span>pinning </span>
  </em>
  <span>after the boy who is already his, she seriously doesn't know how to tell Sasuke he’s being a selfish </span>
  <em>
    <span>idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s… The- you, ah,” Sasuke stops at all he’s doing, and throws his head back in frustration, looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds. His head is a mess, and he’s not sure how to explain this to </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, yet alone to someone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura stops at preparing her breakfast, too, and folds her hands on her chest. She is frustrated too, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't think… he’s ready to… you know. Take things further.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The fuck are you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking </span>
  </em>
  <span>about - I swear to </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke, If you are confusing our baby bean with sex now I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>murder </span>
  </em>
  <span>you with-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not!” Sasuke defends himself, and then remembers the scenario from the shower and he blushes madly. “I’m… not. I don't want… no.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then what are you babbling about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About… about he’s…! Oh, c’mon, Sakura, he’s…! You said it yourself, he’s living his childhood he never had right now, he’s not ready to face adultery in the form of a relationship with me!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura unfolds her arms at that, finally realizing what… he means, her fire gone. “And here I was, accusing you of being selfish.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turns around, looking at the patio, where Kakashi is joggling some apples and Naruto is snatching them from the air and then throwing them right in the joggling circle for Kakashi to deal with it. It’s the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… do you think a relationship is, Sasuke?” Sakura asks after a few moments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She herself is… well, she has two healthy parents in a faithful relationship, not the happiest, but not unhappy, either. Healthy, strong relationship they formed while facing the ninja world. Sakura is quite proud of them. But as such, she also knows what an actual relationship is like. Not relationship for clan, not family for producing heir, but for… for love, comfort, life. Not arranged marriage years before the “groom and bride” are born, not for genetic purity to make sure the kekkei genkai shared by the clan's heir is still as strong as in their ancestors’. Relationship, to her (and any normal human, she hopes), is so much more than that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks up in her eyes, not sure what she means. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is… you say you are scared to come clean with your emotions towards him because you are afraid you’ll ruin his childhood like this. Therefore I’m asking what exactly a relationship… means. To you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unexpected questions give the most honest answer, that Sakura learned a long time ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Adulthood? Sex? Responsibility?” she offers and Sasuke, after a while of pretending the toasts take most of his focus, shortly nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, lets make… this clear, hn?” she offers, rests her palms on the kitchen counter and rises to sit on its surface. “What will change in your relationship when you finally start dating?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't want to talk about it to be honest, but he knows Sakura means well. And in the end, she might have the healthiest idea of what a relationship really is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't… want anything to change, I just want… him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura can't but smile at that. “I see.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes and hopes she didn't see it, and neither his blush (but she saw). Therefore she decides to ask a few more questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you force him to give up the childhood he lives now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you make him stop to see Kakashi and do… whatever the two of them do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you tell Iruka to stop holding his hand and treat him for dinners?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you stop Shikamaru from having the night and morning strolls and talks they tend to have?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you stop him from having the afternoon snacks and brunches with Kiba, me, Ino, or Lee?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you try and change the way he behaves sometimes, I mean… the… the Naruto we love, the playfulness in everything stupid he does, all the small and dumb action he does to have some fun - no matter how much he then needs your or Neji’s help to get out of troubles?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke has the nerve to chuckle at a few of the memories that fill his head. “...No, never.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See?” Sakura beams at him. “So, in your relationship, what would actually change?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Intimacy, I think - not </span>
  <em>
    <span>sex</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sakura, c’mon! I mean…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kissing?” Sakura offers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As far as I’m aware, you already </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>kiss.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or cuddles?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stubbornly watches the toast being made so he doesn't have to face the kunoichi. For some reason, the toast makes him blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From what I’ve heard from Kiba, and Shiki, you guys cuddle plenty.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He surely is an Uchiha, Sakura giggles to herself. Blushing and hiding it, such a sin…! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From what I know, Sasuke,” Sakura smiles.  “This is a perfectly good start of a relationship.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's… more than that,” Sasuke for some reason speaks. It might be that he has noone to ask this. Noone to come for advice. “It’s… I know he… ugh. He needs to see the world without… me in the picture. I feel like if I am to… to </span>
  <em>
    <span>claim </span>
  </em>
  <span>him as mine now, he’s…. he didn't see enough to see if there’s someone… better, waiting for him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura flails in her inner scenario of fluffy two pinning best friends. It's always </span>
  <em>
    <span>depressing </span>
  </em>
  <span>with the Uchiha. “Like who?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't know,” the Uchiha sighs and finishes the toasts. “I feel like he deserves to see more. Flirt more. I want him to… I want him to explore on his own. Have an affair or two, have a girl and a guy, too, aside from me. I want him to… I don't want to…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't want to claim him as too young for him to have regrets about it when he’s older. And using it against you,” Sakura finishes for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke sighs deeper and nods a few times. “Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura eyes the boy, head to toe. He’s… well, he ain't wrong is the thing. “And if he wants to?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When… when you are together, and he meets someone whom he wants to... </span>
  <em>
    <span>try </span>
  </em>
  <span>things with. Would you… would you stop him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't answer immediately this time. Finishes another toast, spreads some butter on it and adds it to the ones already made. “No, I… I’d let him go.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And after…? If he decided to come back, would your pride get the best of you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke never thought about it like that. “That is a possibility?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s your relationship,” Sakura explains and hops off the counter. “You make your own rules.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn't really see it before, but now that she saw them together, witnessed the love they have for one another, it’s impossible to see them with someone else. And Kakashi, the asshole he always has been, knows a thing or two about that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She takes her breakfast and joins the duo on the patio, calling them in for the breakfast Sasuke made for them, mostly. She takes the time to force a look from Kakashi, and while she might think this is easy, it’s not. Not for Kakashi, and not for Sasuke. Naruto has no expectation, no skill and no experience in relationships (or intimacy), and therefore he has no prejudgement, but the sharingan bearers…? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura nods at Kakashi and offers a gentle smile with it, and while she knows if anything ever happens, it will only be casual, Kakashi is starting to think he might move on with his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Who failed whom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Sakura appreciates things as they are, this calm nature of things between Sasuke and Kakashi seem… forced. And Naruto is, as always, completely oblivious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s interesting, how the sharingan bearers decided to split things. When Naruto wants to be his few years old self, enjoying his lost childhood, he can have Kakashi to dot over him, or Sasuke cooing at him, but never both of them at the same time. Sasuke is perfectly aware there are moments he’s not enough for Naruto, where he needs an adult, someone stronger and bigger and older to seek comfort it, and at the same time, Kakashi never takes this for granted, and is quick enough to hand Naruto back into the hands of his rightful owner when the immediate need for an adult is, in Naruto’s eyes, fulfilled. It’s interesting to watch how they seem to have a routine over him, so precise and blending right into one another they probably didn't even realize they have any. It’s natural, completely natural, Sakura observes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is yelling? Hand him to Kakashi. Naruto seems annoyed? Hand him to Sasuke. Naruto is curious? Hand him to Kakashi. Naruto is cuddly? Uh, oh, there, let’s cuddle real quick before Sasuke comes from the shadows and claims you as his own again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It is adorable, it really is, but it also seems Naruto is lacking the other the second he has one of them. It’s so obvious he’s dying to have them both at the same time, the natural need for both parents to pay attention to him is overwhelming even to her, yet alone to traumatized Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought, at first when Kakashi so rudely invited himself over to ogle at Sakura’s bralette without ever making any move, she’s here to make friends with Naruto and Sasuke - to try and sneak into their bubble, try and make a connection with them both. But no, this wasn't why she’s here, well, not truly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She's probably here to… help Kakashi. With Sasuke. To act like a barrier, but to calm any disagreeing they might have. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura watches Naruto doing a one hand stand with Sasuke, as always competing with each other in the weirdest shit. Sasuke wins not because he’s lighter, lithe and has better chakra control, but because Naruto gets distracted by a crab running past them under the patio. Sasuke, who laughs at his idiot, takes the boy in his arms and throws him over his shoulder, scolding him for his attention being off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto in the middle of the scolding loses interest and tries to catch a butterfly into his hands, wordlessly agreeing with anything Sasuke says, because he stopped listening to him like two minutes ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura can't help but smile at them. Sasuke is obviously in love, and Naruto is happy. Genuinely, freely and wholeheartedly happy. It’s all she ever wished for them to be. Kakashi is laying in the warm sand with his sharingan exposed, inconspicuously watching the pair and memorizing every second of their summer morning for the rest of their life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura takes some iced tea from the fridge and steps out on the patio, where Naruto is gushing about another competition he’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely win in, ttebayo!</span>
  </em>
  <span>, while still seated securely in Sasuke’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You take this,” Sakura gives Sasuke the iced tea, “and I’ll take this.” she then takes Naruto under his armpits and relocates him on her own hip, holding him the same way Kakashi and Sasuke do most of the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-!” Sasuke wants to protest - first of all, Naruto didn't ever consent to her holding him like this, and second, no, he’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Kakashi. Not after… last night. And this morning. No, just… no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh c’mon, Sasuke, don't be a coward. Go - gods know you both need it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura then closes the sliding door to the patio and sets the sweet, silent boy on the counter. “What about a nap before lunch, Naru? You were up quite early.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And while Naruto is happily dozing off on Sakura’s warm stomach with her hand in his hair gently stroking him while she reads a book, Sasuke, holding the iced tea, rolls his eyes on himself. How is he - he didn't even-! No. No, he’s not… he’s not going… ugh. Oh for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>sake! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sakura and her “no isn't an answer” attitude. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sakura sends tea,” is the stupidest way to start a conversation, so of course Sasuke says exactly that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What a sweet girl,” Kakashi sits up and finishes half of it before Sasuke even sits down next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are silent. For many minutes. Sasuke doesn't know where to start, and Kakashi is hoping he never will.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you don't want to talk,” Kakashi smiles after a while. “I’m happy with what you…” he stops hastily, and his sharingan briefly meets Sasuke’s eyes. “You don't want to talk, and I understand.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't,” Sasuke agrees, after a while. “But I think we should.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn't want to talk for a different reason. It’s… selfish, really, but he is holding onto it. The thing is, now everything Kakashi and Sasuke have and do and say is in the so-called </span>
  <em>
    <span>grey zone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They don't speak, so they have no basic rules. Everything is appropriate, everything is within boundaries, because what one offers the other takes and vice versa. They don't have ground rules, which means Kakashi can only </span>
  <em>
    <span>guess </span>
  </em>
  <span>where the boundaries Sasuke won't let him push through are. That means Kakashi still has hope Sasuke and him can eventually make it to friends, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust </span>
  </em>
  <span>on a personal level. But once Sasuke talks and sets those rules, Kakashi won't ever be brave enough to try and push them in the sole fear of losing the little trust Sasuke has in him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But till they have the talk there is to have, Kakashi can hope something like this morning, might eventually happen again. Sasuke might again seek safety in him, comfort and guidance he never had while growing up. Kakashi is offering a loving kind of fatherhood Sasuke is aching for, but is scared to accept due to his (not only) daddy issues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I failed you so many times,” Kakashi whispers, and Sasuke disagrees - he does, he openly, knowingly and willingly disagrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never failed me,” Sasuke finds himself saying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I did, Sasuke, there’s no reason to deny my mistakes-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can,” Sasuke interrupts him. “I can only judge by my own experience, and what I would do in your shoes, having the limited knowledge of what happened. I only know you... lost everyone. I mean, both parents, friends, the love of your life, your mentor and teacher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I… I only lost my family, and it fucked me up beyond repair - and I still have my friends, the love of my life, my mentor and teacher. I can't even imagine what - I… Don't get me wrong, I’m still mad at you for leaving Naruto, but I’m aware Sandaime, the Council and all those fucked up on that one way more than you did. I know you were younger than I am now when it all happened. I think… I think, about who failed whom is… I failed you.” Sasuke sighs. “I played the “hard to get”, I didn't appreciate your hard work dealing with your traumas on your own as best as you could. I didn't appreciate you guarding Naruto and being here for him in ways I… I can't. You aren't running away from your responsibilities, and your mistakes - and that is a thing I admire about you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I… I have many issues, I’m sure you are well aware of all of them, even of those I’m not aware of myself, but the thing is… I always insist I’m an adult, we are equals in this team and you never, not even once, treated me like a child, or straight up laughed at me, even if you could. You respect my need to stay in a leading position and you didn't question it, at least not out loud, you just… accepted it and let me… let me do what I… what I needed to do. You always get out of my way for my comfort - and I see it now, because Naruto does it too, always did it, and when I realized it, I started to do the same for him as much as I can, but with you I was… I was reluctant to… ugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was… I don’t… It’s not easy to say this, but I’m… I'm trying to come to terms with myself as a whole, outside of the ‘I’m a lone avenger’ shit, and that includes feelings I was subduing my whole life, my sexuality, my personality, my… my humor, my… my smile, too. And it’s… Naruto was the only reason I started to realize I have the possibility to live a somewhat normal life - as normal as a traumatized shinobi can lead, and that I have a future, I think. And… and things aren't black and white as a lot of people tried to make me believe - including my brother - and yes, Naruto was… Naruto is… my one and only, and I do everything in my powers to show him and tell him how much he means to me, but it’s… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing is, you are… you are doing the same for me. Without… I didn't realize it at first. But the… the way you treat me, you let me lead, you let me always have my way, you always… you always make sure you are appropriate towards me. You never tell me what to do, you always, in mission, ask me first to decide, and then you guide me to a better judgement if needed. You never… you never left me on my own, you never insisted on taking Naruto in with you, away from me, because I would feel left behind, even if I, due to my pride, turned your offer to live with you, too, down. You don't… you always go out of my way, and I always knew it, I just didn't… want to realize, to accept it, I think. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I can't… I can't ever thank you enough for what you did, in the past two, three years for me, but especially the past year. You’ve been amazing sensei, and I never… I never thanked you for it. You are more than a sensei now, you are… you are family, I think. You… you helped me to get where I am, in my mind I mean, way more than I was willing to give you credit for. It’s not… I wasn't… what I’m trying to tell you with this is... I’m sorry I wasn't able to tell you this sooner.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi didn't expect this kind of talk. “I should.. have done so much more for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did,” Sasuke agrees, taking in a deep breath. “You… you did, and you do. Like… like yesterday, and this… this morning, I… I wasn't… I never, uh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't… have to explain yourself, if you don't want to,” Kakashi then says, gentle, when Sasuke stops, blushing and obviously too embarrassed to say anything further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto says biting my tongue is bad for my soul, and I believe him. I want to… I want to say how I feel, I want to face my feelings because it’s what makes it real, it’s what makes me human, because I want to heal and I want to be better, so I can have my future with Naruto, with our generation. I want… I want to be clear with myself so I always know where I stand. I never want to be manipulated ever again, and for that, I have to be emotionally healthy, balanced, and always able to keep my mind clear and stable to always give a correct judgement - in private and personal life, too. So… yes, I am embarrassed, but I’ll… I’ll say this. For myself and my way of healing, but for… but for you and your healing, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looks Sasuke in his eyes - Sasuke knows his sharingan will remember those words for the rest of eternity, and maybe beyond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you are my family, Kakashi, and I feel safe with you. And I like how… how we take care of Naruto. I like how we always seem to think the same during missions, and I enjoy your company. I… I treasure our conversations more than you think, and I… I like your physical closeness. And I like… I like your hugs. You… you bring me comfort Naruto can’t, for the same reason. And when… when you cuddled me today, I… I felt good. I felt protected, safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s… that’s not something I felt since… well, since Itachi’s lips left my temple the night before the massacre.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke in Kakashi’s view is a bit watery now, weary and uneasy to focus at - and then he realizes his eyes are full of tears, so he blinks them down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was so scared you’ll pull away,” Kakashi explains, silently. “I was… I didn't want to talk because I was sure you’ll tell me to never cross the professional line I pushed many times before today. I was… I didn't…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgave you, Kakashi,” Sasuke muses and lets the man see his timid, small and barely there smile he hides quite well. “I told you I did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the same and you know it,” the jounin smiles and holds his hand out for Sasuke to accept and lie closer to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sasuke does accept, laying his head on Kakashi’s shoulder. “You helped me a lot and I want to help you, too. Healing isn't easy, especially when… there’s noone for you. So, as far as this comes, I’m… I'm always happy to be close to you. But I’m… I’m different than Naruto in this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are,” Kakashi smiles and puts his hand on Sasuke’s back. “It was mostly… partnership, always, wasn't it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn,” Sasuke agrees and then remembers Naruto’s “the hn is you biting your tongue”. Of course he’s right. “I mean, I’m here. You can talk, if you want. I won't tell, not even to Naruto. I’m here, and I think I’m finally emotionally capable of helping you, hearing you out and make my own judgement not on prejudice, but on… on understanding you. On… you, as a whole. I just want - I - I can't imagine having a nightmare and not being able to tell Naruto I had it, to let him coax me back into safety. I can't… I can't even imagine how… how lonely that time must have been.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not as alone as you think,” Kakashi offers an encouraging smile and wipes the tears that keep coming. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are not… completely alone, c’mon, noone can do that,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did,” the ANBU reminds him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh please, I was never alone. Everytime I tried, Naruto found his way to annoy himself into my life. And the rest of our generation. The senseis and jounins and ANBU keeping me safe when I was a child and Itachi left.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s different,” Kakashi argues. “That’s not…” and then it hits him; Sasuke’s right, it’s the… it’s… it’s the same. Kakashi having friends and Sasuke having company as a child, they were not alone, but they were… still lonely. “...Okay, you are probably right.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. ACTUALLY CHAPTER NUMBER 17: anxiety attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT <br/>THIS IS ACTUALLY CHAPTER NR. 17, NOT 43!!!!!!</p><p>Hello, guys. Say it with me, Lydia is a fucking _asshole_. <br/>Yeah. I actually needed to reread one chapter of this story, and when I was looking for it here on ao3, I realized.... I never published it. Somehow I probably numbered the chapters wrong and one chapter stayed written, but WAS ACCIDENTALY FORGOTTEN AND NEVER PUBLISHED!! This chapter, is actually supposed to be between the chapters 16 and 17 in this document. </p><p>I am... _so_ sorry for this, because like, this chapter is kind of a deal breaker, it's important on so many levels, and actually explains Kiba's and Sasuke's relationship, and Sasuke's public coming out, and Sasuke's background, and the "retreat" gesture Naruto has for Sasuke when he's overcrowded by people and - okay, this chpater is actually important?!?!?</p><p>I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS I AM SUCH AN IDIOT PLEASE FORGIVE ME IM SORRY IM SO SO SO SO SORRYYYYYYY! *crying*</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>(Forgotten chapter between chapters 16 and 17)</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke was certain now, he loved Naruto. He loved him so much he was willing to go out of his comfort zone, that much he knew for sure. But there was another thing about him socializing. Naruto was always happy to spend time with people, in groups or one on one, he didn't care as long as he was welcomed. And Sasuke was happy the blond was getting comfortable with himself enough to form and maintain friendships, because that much was obviously important to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So while he was still opening up more and more to Naruto, he was also getting more adapting to other people as well, because… well. He didn't know why. It just happened, and he wasn't as repulsed by it as much as he was scared it will, and you know the old saying - we fear the most what we’ve already suffered for, which is true, at least for the Uchiha heir. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People bring him discomfort, distortion in what to look out for, what and how to guard, how to hold himself up, especially with all the remindings of “wow, look, the poor kid who lost his family” and “wow poor kid, he must suffer so much” and “he was so helpless in this” and all that, and… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, no. People, just… just no. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But socializing now, with Naruto by his side at all cost? It was fine, because Naruto understood this, knew that Sasuke wasn't all that much people person. It actually started  after a few weeks of Sasuke’s forced socializing Naruto was slowly orchestrating for him without Sasuke really picking up on it. Sometimes it was just their stroll and silent, loyal, knowing Shikamaru who joined them. Talked a bit, kept around, and after a while he said he’s got things to do and left. Naruto was happy they met a friend, and Sasuke was happy Naruto was happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes they met Sakura, and while she joined them for food or some training, Sasuke grew to get used to her. No hard feelings, and she wasn't as repulsive to him as she used to be. Could be that she knew about his “crush” now, knew that he’s not interested in her for a reason, and while they never addressed it, Sakura took it for what it was and kept their relationship light and friendly, as she’s learned to do with Naruto. Sasuke also realized she treats them the same, with a certain kind of admiration. It took Sasuke a while but then he realized, maybe she’s proud of them too, because Naruto was changing, that was obvious - growing up and becoming socially skilled, but also growing older, more handsome  -, but Sasuke was changing, too. He was… calmer, friendlier, even if the barrier was still apparent in his posture, his tone, his facial expression. It was just something about Naruto firmly by his side, holding his hand or just standing or sitting naturally close, that made the Uchiha less pretentious, less rude, less indifferent; because while he didn't (to the outer world) change much, seeing him so soft and nice and friendly (and sometimes blushing) next to obviously comfortable in his shoes, growing confident, </span>
  <em>
    <span>handsome</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Naruto, he didn't seem as threatening. Or as cold. Or as inhuman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were at the Inuzuka compound together, Naruto and Sasuke and Kiba and Hinata and Ino, obviously enjoying the litter of puppies that wasn't all blind and too small anymore (Naruto first refused to as much as touch them, afraid he’ll hurt them), but they were now happily running around, wiggling their tails and getting as many cuddles as they could. Sasuke had to admit that the onyx black one with intelligent eyes was quite cute. He sat down on the grass, waiting for the pup to come closer, climb into his lap. As it did, he calmly petted the animal, head to tail, keeping his movement slow and soothing. The puppy soon gave into the soft touch and fell asleep in Sasuke’s lap. He wasn't much of a dog person, always preferred cats for their looks and elegance and intelligence and how proud those tiny animals are, but also about how they combined the laziness with perfect ability to aim and kill within seconds. And while he was perfectly able to lul to sleep one puppy, Naruto few yards away from him was playing with the rest of the litter, all six other puppies around him, jumping him, playing with him, hunting him probably, and in the end, Naruto fell to the ground back first laughing, with the puppies jumping him, licking him, biting him, wiggling their tails and happily running around, jumping on him and down repeatedly as if their energy was nowhere to be stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s genuine, happy laugh was something Sasuke deeply enjoyed, so much he was willing to spend time with other people, too. Like right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are usually calmer,” he hears Hinata whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they turn into a crazy pile, whenever Naruto is near. They probably already sense his chakra, which is weird, because he’s got a lot of it and usually dogs would find it threatening. But they don't, when it’s Naruto, for some reason… Maybe because he is a puppy, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke had to admit Kiba’s right. While Naruto was preoccupied, Sasuke was here alone with people whom he didn't feel any other connection but through Naruto. They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>friends, people important to him. He could just ignore them all, but that wouldn't make Naruto happy. So he sighed, got up and joined Kiba, the sleeping pup in hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, here you are,” Kiba smiled at the puppy, but eyed warily the dangerous Uchiha. “He’s quite calm this one, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is,” Sasuke decided to follow the conversation. He liked Kiba the least of their former classmates, probably because he’s one of those who use (or used) the word gay as a slur. “Does he have a name?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no, not yet,” Kiba doesn't even try to hide how surprised he is Sasuke’s trying to make a conversation. He’s never tried before. “These are going to go to other villages as ninja dogs and they will be given names there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So they won't be staying for much longer,” Sasuke concludes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two, three weeks tops,” Kiba confirms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke keeps the pup in his arms, petting it slowly. Kiba is a himbo, but just like Naruto, he’s not an idiot. “You are not a dog person, are you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not really,” Sasuke agrees, but keeps petting the puppy, watching his blond play with the rest. “I prefer cats. Always liked snakes, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scary things both of them,” Kiba carries the conversation now. “Good at masking, attack quick and you won't hear a sound. Quite like you, honestly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks Kiba in the eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...That was actually a compliment,” Kiba smirks, quick to clear any misunderstanding he could have with the heir. “I’d honestly love to see you fighting against Shikamaru. I mean, his lazy way of dealing with strategy, and your poisonous speed, that would be amazing to watch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Sasuke can see that. Shikamaru is the top genius, but Sasuke isn't far behind him; Shikamaru excels at strategy and Sasuke’s kekkei genkai would be a challenge for the Nara. “That would be, yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh, by the way… I’m… I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I know… Shikamaru explained a few things to me and… I didn't mean it like that, okay? I was just… it was stupid thing to do. Using the word “gay” against people - and, like, Shikamaru told me… about, like, I never know who of my friends will turn out to be and like, I get it, there’s nothing wrong liking a guy - or like, with lesbians a girl, or anything for that matter - and I just… I know better now. I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks him in the eye, hard and cold. He’s angry that Shikamaru told him anything Sasuke told him - he considered that conversation solemnly between the two of them. And while yes, he wasn't planning on staying in the closet for much longer now, it did scar the good feeling he had about the Nara heir. “I think my sexuality is my business and noone elses.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it is,” Kiba agrees hastily. “It is, that's exactly what Shiki told me. And like, how… how people our age might realize they aren't straight and all that. And I can’t just yell… things like this at people, because… you know, that would sound like I’m offending them. Like… like being gay is offensive. It’s not, by the way, I don't… I didn't even mean it like that I guess. And so, yeah, your sexuality is your bussiness only. But if you do end up not being straight, or being bi, or gay, I just… I just felt like I have to apologize to everyone, because I was wrong and I might have offended people in a way I didn't want to. But I know better now. I didn't want to be rude. And, Shikamaru indeed turned out to not being straight and I definitely don't want to lose him as a friend because I’m an idiot and mistook a good old “asshole” slur with like, insulting anyone for their sexuality, which is like, fucken stupid reason to insult someone about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, Sasuke realizes with raised brow, so Shikamaru didn't tell him about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sasuke </span>
  </em>
  <span>being gay or anything, he just pointed out to the himbo it’s wrong to yell things like this at people. And actually came out to said himbo. And the himbo now feels so bad he probably goes to all of his friends and apologizes for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you apologize to Naruto, too?” Sasuke asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I did,” Kiba’s smile is a bit coy now. “Also told me he’s bi and I’m an idiot for calling people gay and thinking it’s, like, funny or what.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Naruto came out to him, too. Well, Sasuke might as well, then. “Well, I am gay, just so you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit, fuck, Sasuke, I’m so sorry,” Kiba's face all falls down in realization. “Shit, I didn't meant to just- fuck, I’m sorry, of course you are so tense around me. Man, don't take me seriously, shit, I didn't mean no harm, I’m just an idiot, okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke cocks his brow when watching Kiba actually lose it - the himbo was obviously just a himbo about it all. But now, watching him seriously and genuinely sorry for what he said (and a tad panic, because Sasuke was considered </span>
  <em>
    <span>dangerous </span>
  </em>
  <span>even by the rest of the class), Sasuke doesn't find it necessary to hold it against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are we… are we cool or what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gives his typical “hn” for an answer, but he can't help it and feels moved by Kiba’s apology, in a way. And the feeling of weird relief, freedom in a way, now that few people know about him liking guys exclusively and not making a big deal about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn't eavesdropping, by the way,” Hinata whispers behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh for fucks sake, just </span>
  </em>
  <span>fuck </span>
  <em>
    <span>the kid, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes. Of course she heard the entire thing. Well, at least she’s not crushing on </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, for that matter. Then he falters, because she’s crushing on </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto </span>
  </em>
  <span>(not that </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>himbo realized as much), and if Naruto decides he feels the same way, Sasuke’s plan of staying in the back so he wouldn't confuse the blond’s feelings will just blow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And maybe it’s time for Sasuke to gently withdraw the “we are best friends” thing and now, that Naruto already has friends, show him that their friendship is a bit different from everyone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Hinata-chan,” Kiba laughs nervously, blushing. “I didn't see you there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Crushing is popular in this generation, hn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hinata,” Sasuke lowers his head slowly. She is the most powerful heir among them in the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are too many people here. Sasuke really wants to go away, but that would be considered rude, so he has to stay and witness a really awkward conversation between the teammates. As on cue, Naruto is suddenly jogging back to them, two pups in his arms, the rest behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for this, Kiba,” Naruto laughs and looks down, tries to avoid hurting them while walking. “This was amazing, but we gotta go - Kakashi is probably waiting for us on the training field. Thank you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Naruto takes Sasuke’s hand and drags him away from the compound, keeping all the pups to Ino and Kiba and Hinata and all that. When out of sight, Naruto grins and asks: “You okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… did you - Kakashi’s not waiting for us,” Sasuke frowns. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know. But I saw you getting around way too many people and… yeah, I know you are not… you know, so… yeah, I figured that I might… intervene. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you knew. I was uncomfortable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… yeah,” Naruto shrugs and holds Sasuke’s hand tighter. “I know you, c’mon. I know you can handle people when you are in a good mood. But I don't want you to… you know. I don't want you to… </span>
  <em>
    <span>suffer</span>
  </em>
  <span>, within company, yet alone on your own. So whenever you feel like you’ve got enough and need out, you can always give me some kind of, I don't know, secret signal, and I’ll find a way out, okay? Whenever. Just, whenever we are with people and you give me a clue - but it has to be a good one, you know I’m not good with subtle - and I’ll do anything to get us out of it. Sounds good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke just looks at him with plain adoration in his eyes. “Y-you could do that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course?” Naruto frowns, like he’s offended Sasuke’s i second guessing his best friend, especially when it comes to Sasuke’s comfort. “Look, I think we both established that where you are actually good with socially acceptable behaviour, subtlety and norms and all that, I’m the one with good </span>
  <em>
    <span>manners</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And where you are looking out for my life, because, lets face it, out of two of us you are the shinobi everyone fears, I’m looking out for your comfort. Because honestly, I don't think you are getting enough of it. So yeah, like it or not, but I’m pretty determined to make you as happy as you can get.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks his friend in the eye, looking for explanation, directions, anything, that would indicate Naruto’s just saying it. “Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the question is a bit cold. And Naruto is slowly getting it, understanding Sasuke is holding himself back from everything that could be good in his life, because of his fucked up family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m your best friend, and I like you very much and I want you to be happy?” Naruto offers, but knows Sasuke wants to hear hard, cold facts. And emotions, plain and simple like he laid out, aren't that for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” it’s even less of a question than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because… Sasuke. I know you, okay? I know how you get when we are close, when we are alone. I know you are… you are deeply traumatized, not only by that night but further. Okay? I know it. I know you. Let me take care of you, too. Please? C’mon. You are… you said it yourself, you are happy when I remind you you are human.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s facade changes slowly, freezing somewhere in the middle between the hard, cold stare he has for strangers, and the normal, usual seemingly indifferent gaze he has usually. “I… yes, I… I do like you reminding me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? I know you don't want to be rude, I know you want to try and be friendly, because that makes you human, too. And trust me, I understand that and I’m proud of you for your progress. I really am. And I’m more than happy to go on with this, I want you to feel at home here, I want you to be happy and settled, I want you to cope, eventually. Please, trust me I do want you as comfortable as you can be.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke keeps the cold stare for a while longer, but then slowly his posture relaxes, and so does his face. Naruto lets him think about it for a while, give him space, just like Sasuke usually gives him within their lessons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know… when we started this… arrangement,” Sasuke opts after a while. “I didn't expect it to turn into… this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Into friendship?” Naruto smiles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That, too, but… into some kind of… coping. For… me. I didn't expect myself to give into anything, anyone. And yet, here you are. Changing me, challenging me, shaping me every second. You probably were before, too - when I realized I was so touchstarved I pushed my trauma away and hugged you, and kept on, and the trauma somehow broke, or something, because… I don't… I don't have these anxiety attacks when I have to face people.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anxiety - you had, wait,” Naruto stops, facing his best friend with a serious face. “Wait, you had… you had </span>
  <em>
    <span>anxiety attacks</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That's why you were always so collected, so cold and angry, at school, at meetings, at training - you were… you were facing people and you had… you had anxiety attacks about it?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke just shrugs and looks down, hiding behind his bangs so he doesn't have to face perplexed Naruto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not something you just shrug off, Sasuke, and you tell me like, now? Now, that I’m forcing you to socialize like, three times a week?!” and there it is, the scared face Naruto pulls, that he’s done something wrong, he miscalculated, misread the entire situation. “I - </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh gods, fuck me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>do that if I knew I’m making you suffer, what the fuck, Sasuke, you are supposed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell me </span>
  </em>
  <span>things like this--!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, calm down, Naruto!” Sasuke raises his voice a bit, when his friend goes on in his frustrated and panicked apology and doesn't even realize Sasuke is speaking. When he finally shuts up and looks up, Sasuke actually has to smile a bit. The kind of timid, I’m-happy-you-are-here smile he’s established since him and Naruto became publicly close. “I said I used to have them. I don't… I don’t have them since… well, since we started… talking. Probably only a few weeks after I made you the hideous offer. I still am sorry for approaching you that rudely. And saying you are an idiot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never said I am an idiot. Just that I behaved like one, and you were not wrong,” Naruto reminds him and holds out his fist for Sasuke to accept. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there it is, their gesture of “okay, let it go, we are fine and I’m not holding it against you”, they established way too soon in their arrangement. Sasuke watches the fist for a long time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you want to just forget how rude I was to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto shrugs. “Are you sure you want to just forget how I was mad at you for being hard, cold bitch and calling you out on it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke chuckles which has Naruto openly grinning. “Hn.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sasuke finally bumps his fist to Naruto’s, gently, slowly, and holds the gesture for a bit longer than usual, only to lace his fingers into Naruto’s. It’s been days they walked next to each other without holding hands, and Sasuke hopes the day they’ll stop holding hands never comes. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry this happened I'm SO SORRY THIS IS SO UNPROFESSIONAL IM SORRYYY!!! *ugly crying in the corner*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Obito</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you have friends, Kakashi. But I also know you didn't… you don't… talk,” Sasuke mumbles into Kakashi’s black tight top perfectly copying all the hard muscles of his upper body. “And trust me, I’m the last one who’d expect me to say this but… Naruto’s right, talking… helps. Talking about what happened helps you to get past it, relive it and… and place it differently in your mind so it fits a place that isn't as disturbing. Saying it out loud helps… it helps you to stop denying the traumatized past you went through.  I know you feel it too, the connection… there is between us. Sharingan, deceased fathers, choosing a lone life, nearly giving up to the inner demons, unhealthy coping systems…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What - what coping system?” Kakashi asks, confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reading porn at cemetary? C’mon, ‘Kashi, even you have to admit that’s not normal,” already saying this sentence has Sasuke smirk in a horrible, terrible dark sense of humor, and Kakashi snorts, confirming that their traumas left them not only deeply scarred, but with a brutal, insensitive sense of humor (they both try and hide).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>O, well… they did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Not anymore.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whenever I did something… like this, something stupid or innapropriate,” Kakashi suddenly remembers with a small smile on his lips, “Obito… called me Bakashi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke throws his head back and openly laughs - a gesture Kakashi’s never seen him do, ever, and even Naruto saw these fits rarely. Kakashi follows Sasuke’s laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, when we were a bit older, he used it rather as a pet name than an insult,” Kakashi explains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why the fond smile when I called Naruto Usuratonkachi when we were children,” Sasuke wonders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn, hn. That, and… you see - the talented, smart leader, and Obito, a ball of energy, and sometimes too much for himself, too, yet alone the public.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly like Naruto and I,” Sasuke realizes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi chuckles and brings Sasuke closer to himself - his tears gone now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How… How long did it last? You and him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, since we were children, we always… he was always “just wait till my sharingan awakes”, but I was quite the asshole, most of the time. Due to personal reasons, I was reluctant to make friends, or at least behave like a human.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rings a bell,” Sasuke muses darkly and Kakashi laughs. The similarities between them seem to be as much as impossible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Obito was always… he always made his way in my life. And in the end, he was… what I loved the most.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Sasuke asks with curiosity he’s too lazy to cover with annoyance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi can’t just not comment on it. “You are such a kind person, Sasuke.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't blush, because he’s an Uchiha. He also doesn't hide his face in Kakashi’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kind, sweet, and loving.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just like you,” Sasuke mumbles into the shoulder, Kakashi’s hair, his scent and the sand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi smiles and while he doesn't agree, he appreciates this boy’s approach. He came a far way, he overcame so much, he changed so much to better, he came a long way in redemption and healing. Kakashi is starting to believe he can have his second chance, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been… Obito was… with heart on his sleeve and bright eyes always seeing only the good in others… and he saw some in me, too. Minato - the yondaime - was… he knew, I think. But it was… it was too short. We were always like… like fire and air. Invincible together. He was… he was a hurricane, and couldn't resist, I couldn't… I looked in his eyes and saw the bright, happy future he believed in. I saw myself in his eyes as I’ve never seen myself and… and fell so deep I don't think I was capable of understanding it. Sexuality wasn't an issue when Minato was Hokage, he wasn't… he believed in love and that was all that mattered to him, so… it wasn't an issue, really, it was mostly about… well, loss. We were at war and every day could be the last. I fell for him so hard I didn't even realize it, and of course I got scared.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never told him…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course I did. He was the only one able to make me </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mostly annoyed, when we were children. We were… we fought a lot, competed. I usually won and let him cry about his sharingan. But you know best how this really was, don’t you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't say a word, but by the look he gives his sensei Kakashi knows he understands. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>remembers</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were fighting and yelling, and during one of those, he just… he leaned in, and I saw myself in his eyes, realized how important I am for him, and how important he is for me, and then… kissed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would be a beautiful love story, be the circumstances different. “Once?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi chuckles. “Once. Then I fleed, but Obito followed me. We ended up… talking. Well, it was mostly Obito, but it was a conversation, the first real one we had. Held hands, stargazed… in the middle of the war it wasn't… as bad as I’d imagine it would be. We kissed many times, and for a while, I believed we could last, since it was rumored the war was coming to an end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We survived yet another mission and while Minato was ready to accept the position of fourth hokage, we lived for one another. I decided to lie to Minato and not tell him about us for a while longer, I didn't want him to think I was incapable of decision, or driven by emotion - I surely was -, so we were… we were a secret. We sneaked out to spend the night at the borders of Fire country, we hid in one of the treehouses ANBU used to patrol, and…,” Kakashi thought he’ll never say this to anyone. Anyone at all, and if he ever was, he’d be a crying mess, too overcome with emotion he won't be able to speak, to breathe, crying so hard, missing him so much he’ll die of grief. “We made love all night. There was no war, no decisions, no death counts, no family name to burden. There was… noone, and nothing. Just him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Simple truth and nothing but the truth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As I watched his sleeping body, still as young as we were, I got scared. The night was full of love, while the day was full of fear, and I couldn't… I fled again. We saw each other two days after that in action again, where love had no place in. I think… he wanted to give me space, he knew I’d get scared, so… Well, we had to be professional in mission. Minato didn't know, and I didn't want him to, yet. The mission was… a mess, really. Brutal, bloody, like war is. And I was being stupid again, selfish. I wanted to protect Obito, but he… he is who he is, and did the stupid thing. He was… he tried to save our teammate, while I hoped I’ll get him to safety. But things got ugly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He died,” Sasuke whispers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Protecting mostly me, I think. Yes. His dying wish was…,” Kakashi motions to his eye. “He didn't say anything. Just wanted… always be a part of me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can imagine how their story was. He can see them, young and scared and… not ready to be in love. He was the same, once, after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” Sasuke whispers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“War is a terrible thing, Sasuke,” Kakashi cuddles his student closer to himself. “There is a thing I need to tell you about Itachi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hn?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he’s a pacifist. He’s always been deeply traumatized by the war. The Uchiha clan was holding a grudge against Konoha for many things and they were mostly right. I don't blame them for that. They were planning to start a civil war, Sasuke. And Itachi, knowing this... “ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what are you saying, Kakashi?” Sasuke sits up, puts some space between them so he can see his sensei, look into his eyes, read his body language. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Itachi knew the clan wanted to take Konoha by force. He never wanted you to live in a war zone, that I know for sure. I’m trying… for years now I’ve been trying to understand him, understand why would he… The documents you gave me to look at, because you couldn't decipher it? It’s all there. The plans how to start a civil war. What to do, where to begin, who and where and how. It was… There was an entire plan to assassinate the council, The commander, the head medics, Tsunade. How to paralyze the medic ward and hospital, they had Suna as allies and someone from the shadows… how we know that was Madara all along.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't remember much,” Sasuke says after a while of shocked silence. “I… I remember secrets, whispers, weird, unfriendly atmosphere. I know for sure Itachi didn't like our father. I think… this makes sense… after all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsunade told me not to tell you yet but… we have a mere idea of what happened.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Danzo send Itachi to kill our family?” Sasuke asks, holding his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Kakashi answers and Sasuke’s world spins. “He did. Danzo knew there is a coup d’etat forming in the Uchiha’s compound, and to “prevent civil war” as the elders put it, he was given a choice; either the entire clan will be secretly wiped out by ANBU Root members, Itachi included, or he, as the future Uchiha clan leader, will take the fall, kills most of the clan, and his baby brother… can live.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is probably having an anxiety attack. “I-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't have any other option, Sasuke. None of us had. All the heroes were dead, Tsunade was who knows where drinking her mourning away, Jiraiya was dead and so was Minato, Orochimaru fled us, most of the best ANBU were dead or under Root. Itachi’s best friend, Shisui, was killed by Danzo, and Itachi’s time was limited. He was a bit younger than you are now, when this all happened.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you?” Sasuke whispers. “Where were you when that happened?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was sent to the borders of Suna a month prior the attack, and I found out what happened a few weeks after. I was expecting an order to go and follow him, but the order never came. I never… I never spent much time in Konoha at all, I was never… I was reluctant to come back, and I did only when Hiruzen died and I was sent to get Tsunade to become Hokage.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You say… you say the order never came, to follow Itachi,” Sasuke asks, trying to calm himself. “So… so what… what is his deal now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That, my dear, will be our first official S-ranked mission when we will be called back to Konoha.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a part of Akatsuki,” Sasuke reminds him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think…” Kakashi lies back down. “Him being a part of Akatsuki… means we know where to look for Madara.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke finally has his answer - Itachi wasn't secretly evil. He was probably still as loving as Sasuke remembers him, and he was probably as kind and as heartbroken as Sasuke can't even imagine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to help his brother. They have to find and defeat Madara. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to post another chapter out of happiness Joe Biden won the elections in the US - I'm so happy for all the americans there!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Shared Custody</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>N</span>
  <span>aruto is <em>happy</em>, Sakura notes, watching Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto having fun in the ocean. They are in the middle of an eloquent game that could be described as “catch Naruto before he swims to another continent and then throw him to the other side for the other one to repeat the circle”. There’s a lot of splashing, yelling, cursing and laughing, and Sakura’s never seen them… happier. All of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto giggles as Sasuke swims next to him, kisses him on his wet and salty cheek, lifts him up by his armpits and throws him on the other side, away from Kakashi, who swims immediately right back to him, catches him in his arms and cuddles him to his chest. Sasuke stays at bay, letting them cuddle and splash water and comment on the weather, before he remembers… he doesn't have to keep their time with Naruto separated. They can… they can share his child-like moods now, after all. Therefore he slowly swims closer, stays far enough for Kakashi to decide if it’s okay to share, and when Kakashi spots him swimming closer, he happily sends Naruto closer to him. Naruto, always happy to see his best friend, sits comfortably on Kakashi’s hip, but he does reach for Sasuke, catches his hand and brings him closer in a swift motion - so swift he causes a small wave and Naruto gets a splash in his eyes and mouth. Kakashi giggles, but coos at the baby: “Ah, yucky yucky  salty water, right? Don’t worry, there you are, doing quite alright. See? All good now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” Naruto makes a tad too adorable sound, Kakashi smiles and Sasuke makes a calming, a bit more dominant sound deep in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn't know what to make of this, so he doesn't comment on it. He wants to ask so badly whether they are already lovers or not, if Naruto knows everything he needs to, if </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sasuke </span>
  </em>
  <span>knows everything he needs to. He wants to ask who is to take the submissive part of the relationship, he wants to tell them to get lube and condoms. But he can't, he knows this isn't really his place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there a place we could go snorkeling?” Sasuke asks and Kakashi is so lost in the ocean blue eyes that watch them both in awe (he wasn't aware Kakashi and Sasuke had a talk and therefore he can have both of them taking care of his five years old self till now), it takes him a second before his sharingan catches on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes - yes, over there behind the rocks, there is a place where the water is shallow and full of life. We can take the equipment and take a look there, if you want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow?” Sasuke suggests and Kakashi agrees, smiling at the Uchiha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, tomorrow. Oh - look, look! It’s a, do you see that? It’s some kind of octopus, do you see it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke immediately looks where Kakashi is pointning, and yes - yes of course, he can see it! It’s small and quick, and the tree of them try to stalk it, but it’s way quicker than them. Naruto manages to track it the longest, while Sasuke isn't as comfortable in an open ocean. He’s fine where he can see the bottom, but over where Naruto currently is, yelling something about a shelf there, he doesn't necessarily want to swim. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke? You look a bit uneasy - everything okay?” Kakashi asks and Sasuke wants to tell him off, but… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh. I’m good, I just… I don't trust myself that much with deep waters,” the Uchiha admits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi slows his tempo and sides with his student. They rather stall then follow Naruto further, and after a while of listening to Naruto yelling from afar about what he see and that he definitely has to come back with some snorkeling equipment to see everything properly, Kakashi after a while recognizes Sasuke is coming short on his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he insists a bit rudely, and Kakashi is sure the boy </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn't </span>
  </em>
  <span> fine. Quite the opposite. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you let me help, please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s so degrading, Sasuke rolls his onyx eyes. So degrading, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>humiliating </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Sasuke is quite good by himself, thank you very much! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then suddenly Kakashi is way too close, he’s holding Sasuke around his waist and gently tugging him closer to himself. Sasuke is reluctant at first, but when he sees the look in his sensei’s eyes, he gives up on his pride, and lets himself be sat on Kakashi’s hip, supported by his right arm. Sasuke doesn't know when did his left hand hug the man around his shoulders, but it did, and Sasuke doesn't remember giving his hand a permission to do this. Bad hand, </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi then starts slowly swimming closer to Naruto, and while Sasuke is deeply embarrassed, he is also… grateful. He wants to be close to Naruto, and he wants to be close to Kakashi, too. So when Kakashi brings Sasuke close to excited Naruto, he expects the older boy to let go of his sensei to seek safety in his best friend - but the Uchiha stays at Kakashi’s hip, safe and kinda comfortable. Naruto doesn't even blink at how close the two are, he just starts happily explaining he probably saw a jellyfish, but he isn't sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should head back to the reef, Naruto. Open ocean isn't as safe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Naruto agrees and once more looks under himself, where he hopes to spot the jellyfish - or the octopus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then looks at Sasuke in Kakashi’s arms, swims closer, hugs them both and kisses Sasuke’s cheek, then Kakashi’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy happy happy!” he announces, smiling like the sun, before he lets go of both of them and swims back to the shore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It really looked like he never noticed,” Sasuke mumbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like… he never noticed that he can either… have me, or you. That we… don't… give him attention, the both of us at the same time. It’s always… well, I never noticed he… noticed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told me yourself Naruto goes out of your way for your comfort, right?” Kakashi reminds him. “He wouldn’t let you obviously know he is aware how much you don't like me, and aren't willing to let me in your life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was never true and you know it,” Sasuke accuses him, and Kakashi’s hold on his waist tightens for a second. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they reach the shore where Sasuke feels comfortable again (it’s not more than ten feet under him, and he can see the sand on the bottom crystal clear here), Kakashi releases Sasuke from his hold the same time Sasuke lets go off him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura wanted to join in multiple times, but she’s comfortable right here, watching them, memorizing this, because this is how she wants to remember them for the rest of her life; happy, playing, close to one another. When she finally gets up and does join them, they are already nearly out of energy and only floating on the surface, with Naruto keeping close to both males, touching them and holding them for support. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke and Kakashi are stealing glances at one another, and they are keeping way too close to one another. If Sakura didn't know better, she’d call them both out on flirting. But she knows it’s not like that. Kakashi is taken aback and Sasuke is… well, maybe he finally let his guard down around him. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Soul-freeing sex</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>/.../ And when Sakura, at night, finds half naked Kakashi stargazing in the background, she can't help and try her luck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s different here,” she speaks when she lays down next to him. “The stars I mean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't answer and she doesn't blame him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad things seemed to settle with Sasuke,” she continues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you finally see he’s not evil?” he asks with a smile. “You told him to go to me, and he did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, she did notice that. “He’s… he changed a lot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he never… he never did. He just… doesn't hide himself like he used to,” Kakashi corrects her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s getting wary of her - he knows she’s as intelligent and mature as she is vicious. “Something changed… between the two of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m done going out of people’s way at the expense of my personality,” Sakura shrugs her shoulders. “And I’m done treating everyone as if I could break them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi turns his head to the side to face her: “I’m pretty sure you could break me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I probably could,” she agrees, and then laughs, while Kakashi softly follows. “I want different things in life - more importantly, I know what I want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are stronger than any of us,” Kakashi intentionally ignores what she just hinted at. “And I’m sure all your plans will come true. One day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura is bold, and she is also an independent woman. She also knows what the sentence Kakashi said truly means - he’s not interested, not now. “Sasuke told me you might look at things from this perspective.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not… Sakura, I don't want to be that guy who’s-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi,” she stops him with a cheeky smile on her lips. “I don't blame you, and I’m not heartbroken - trust me, I'm not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sounds so dismissive that Kakashi nearly takes offence at it. “I didn't mean to…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hopes she’ll stop him again, but she doesn't. She’s looking up at the sky, watching the stars and making her peace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't mean to suggest a relationship with me means… ehm. Takes the most part of your self-awareness,” Kakashi clears her throat and watches her lips stretch into a confident smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relationship,” she chuckles. “Who’s talking about a relationship here? Kakashi, please, even I know you are… how did Sasuke put it… emotionally unavailable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi madly blushes at her insinuation; is she suggesting a-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sex means much less than that,” she confirms and Kakashi nearly chokes on thin air. “But like I said, no hard feelings.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi’s eye twitches at the word “hard”, but otherwise stays put. He had no idea his student was… he was imagining more of a… </span>
  <em>
    <span>platonic </span>
  </em>
  <span>relationship rather than physical… act. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't look so perplexed, Kakashi, I saw the porn you read - you are the last one I’d expect to blush at the word sex.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not the word that makes me blush,” Kakashi finds his voice. “It’s… ah, you kids grow up way too fast.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, my poor old man,” she rolls her eyes. “I’m not asking you to love me, Kakashi. I’m just saying fucking on the beach is soul-freeing. If you have a soul, that is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There… were people who believed I do have one,” Kakashi shorts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She finally turns her head and looks him in his eyes. His sharingan wasn't hidden for a second today. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you are yet to change my mind,” Sakura gets comfortable on the ground, and gets lost in her own thoughts for a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You might be right. But… I’m afraid you are way too young to-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old were you?” she interrupts him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Younger than you are now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you regret it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I don't think I do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn't be my first nor my last one, Kakashi. But I understand my age does stop you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, if you still want me in a decade... or rather two,” Kakashi looks her in the eye. “I’ll be happy to accept such an offer.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be old fart right before death in two decades.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi grins at her: “You are as sweet to me as always.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughs, and stays where she is. “I… I’m sorry, I don't know exactly what happened or who they were, I just… know they died, and you loved them. Is… I wanted to know… I mean, yes, I’m young. But Naruto and Sasuke, and I think Shikamaru, too, fell in love already at this age, and you… you were probably even younger than them when you fell, too. I just.. wanted to ask, how… how do you know? That… they are the one?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure me or Sasuke… or Naruto, for that matter, are the best ones to ask this. I’d say, we all were… match made in heaven. Me and… me and the love of my life, we were… more of starcrossed lovers, if you… ask me.  And Sasuke and Naruto were a couple made by gods themselves, if you take everything into consideration.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… a big story they are yet to find out. Nine-tails jinchuuriki and a sharingan bearer, two Konoha’s hated, but both born as heroes. Without families, but finding one in one another. I think, despite everything in their lives… if the gods are at least a bit good, the two of them… they’ll break mountains and dry out oceans.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are powerful, that we are all aware off,” Sakura agrees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are powerful, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>together. They are like yin to a yang, like moon to the sun. And while I know this is what Madara is probably aiming for, it’s too late for him to manipulate Sasuke. In Naruto’s care, he became self-aware, strong and loyal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you mean you know what Madara wants? Why don't you tell them?! It’s-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Sakura, there’s no need to tell them. Madara will eventually seek Sasuke out and try to manipulate him onto his side. But he already knows most truths, and while Tsunade doesn't yet trust the Uchiha to side with Konoha, I know now Sasuke isn't an enemy, and isn't burdened by the Uchiha curse. Not anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uchiha curse?” Sakura asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… a long story, but it’s point is power. Uchihas always want power. And when they have it, they want more. That’s what happened to Madara, and to the entire clan, Itachi included. What we think is… that Itachi joined Akatsuki, and Madara himself, to take revenge against the council, against Danzo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Danzo is dead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is, now. Therefore we hope Itachi will…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come back to Konoha? Just like that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully, when he sees Sasuke’s point of view, and that… that he fell in love with Minato’s son, and that… that a future Hokage sees an Uchiha as an equal, as a partner… I hope so, yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would he switch sides like that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Itachi isn't on anyone’s side, because he doesn't believe anyone is on his side.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are,” Saukra accuses him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looks a bit surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I work with people twice my age daily at the hospital, Kakashi. Some of them are shinobi, some of them aren't. I know Itachi was once called “the last friend of the copy-nin”. You used to know each other. You used to be friends.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Itachi wasn't… </span>
  <em>
    <span>friendly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he was an Uchiha. We rarely spoke.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were his captain, once or twice.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he was mine just as much,” Kakashi admits and turns his head to face the stars once again. “We were not… friends. I don't think… we were. Itachi was… untouchable, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unthinkable</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was… the genius, the prodigy, the best of all of us. He was… a living legend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only trained and listened to orders, that's all he did, till his brother was born. Then it was… it was only Sasuke. Nothing else in his life was important, only the little boy he… Itachi didn't have friends - well, he had one, maybe. Shisui, his… relative, probably a cousin or something. Itachi… wasn't a human you could come close to and talk to them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… does that mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think… I think he was used for his power and golden heart. He was supposed to listen to orders and do what was expected of him. He was a perfect soldier, a loyal, strong shinobi. Everyone… only used him for his power, for his talent and techniques. His father, his clan, his supervisors, his hokage, ANBU commander and the council, the elders… everyone just-” Kakashi closes his eyes and forces his anger to disappear. “Just used him, making him… I think, in the end… he wasn't even a human. And if he was, it was only for his brother.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think Itachi wants power, too?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That depends on what he wants from life - now that Danzo is dead and elders will be executed for their crimes. New council is to be set, information we have about Orochimaru and Itachi are to be reevaluated and put into perspective with everything we are able to put together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wished you were friends, then,” Sakura says after a moment. “Itachi and you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yes. I hoped… yes. But we were… kept away from each other, most of the time. I think Sandaime knew I’d… I wouldn't let him do any of this. I’d go public and seek Tsunade’s help.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She talks very highly of you,” Sakura suddenly remembers. “She hates most people, but she… has always such a soft look in her eyes, when your name is said.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… with Minato, Jiraiya was my closest friend, too. When they died, Tsunade and I… had an interesting talk. She then left the village, but told me to seek her, when she’s needed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did she love him?” Sakura asks. “Jiraiya, I mean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi half smiles into the stars and shrugs: “I don't think what she felt for him was… explainable by words.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura watches the wind playing with a few of the clouds, and the starts to catch their light. “I'm starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me. The boys I had sex with were not what I wanted, and what I thought was love when I was a child, was just… just a physical phantom.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing wrong with you, my dear,” Kakashi smiles at her. “Falling in love isn't the goal of your life.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what is? To change something, to be remembered for what you did?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi takes a while to answer. “Many people say it’s having kids. Some say it’s to be remembered. Some will tell you it’s to find happiness or peace.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you? What… what do you think?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ I think… to find out who you are, and stay loyal to that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura weighs all she knows about her sensei. About his past, about… what he’s done, what he stands for. “Have you succeeded with this goal?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi chuckles under his breath, tilts his head back a bit and stalls. After quite a few minutes, he says: “I think… I failed at that. Most of my life, I… I didn't have much of a personality to begin with. And now that I’m… accepting who I am and… trying to stay loyal to that, I… found I’m missing something. And maybe… maybe I can - but maybe it’s too soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura turns her head to look at her teacher. She softly smiles and reaches for his hand to squeeze his fingers shortly. “If we succeed and Itachi will come back… are you going to try and be friends with him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi turns his head away from his student, and purses his lips under his mask. “Itachi always had only one person in his mind. Just one, and never any other.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you… respect me, sensei?” Sakura asks in that tone of voice that reminds him of Tsunade, when she doesn't take any bullshit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he agrees immediately, nonetheless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you look me in my eyes and promise me you’ll try to make friends with Itachi?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi closes his eyes. He’s not gonna cry. Not now. Not because of Itachi. No. He takes a deep breath, turns around to face the devil, looks her in the eyes, sharingan still activated, promises her: “If we succeed… I’ll try to make friends with Itachi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura smiles at him, squeezes his fingers, gets up and leaves him in the backyard, looking at the summer sky over the ocean.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, I apologize for the "filler", but I needed the 'Kakashi's last friend' become an issue, because well, for further reasons in this story. <br/>It is what it is, and I might as well just take it to this story's deserved end. </p><p>Thank you all for still coming back and reading this fanfic! </p><p> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. True romantic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please do note this chapter is... idk, 15+ for some itty bitty touchy touch?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Naruto was sugar-high all afternoon (Sasuke blames the cookies they baked with Kakashi.) (Kakashi blames the cookie dough Sasuke let the jounin feed Naruto with.) He was so happy he could finally spend an entire afternoon with both of his most favourite people in the world, he was so happy he could run from one’s arms to another’s, he was talking to both of them and they both ended up teaming up in dealing with not only a five years old Naruto, but also <em> sugarhigh </em>five years old Naruto. He was calm only in Kakashi's arms, and focused only when Sasuke talked to him, otherwise, he was unstoppable. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi felt alive, and Sasuke… could tell what an impact this have on all three of them. They… could make it work. They… were family, they… really were. Sometimes the actual responsible parent was Kakashi, but most of the time it was actually Sasuke, and he enjoyed it so much he didn't even feel ashamed about it. He <em> loved </em>every single second. </p><p> </p><p>And when Naruto was finally fed and already tired enough to return to his adult-like behaviour, Sasuke was happy to have him here. He felt like, after an entire day of interaction, he deserves his Naruto for himself. </p><p> </p><p>Just as he’s doing the dishes after another family dinner, there are arms sneaking up around his waist to his stomach, and a chin being hooked over his shoulder. “Thank you.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smiles to himself and turns his head to cuddle closer to his best friend. Naruto nuzzles his face and kisses his cheek, standing so close behind Sasuke the Uchiha can feel his friends unbelievable stomach abs against his back. Naruto must be aware of what he’s doing, because in the next moment, he gently bites at his neck, while his hands sneak under his t-shirt to rub at his stomach just under the belly button. </p><p> </p><p>“Naru-” Sasuke starts, but Naruto murmurs a “shhh” into his ear, gently kisses behind it and drags his nails lightly from his belly button up to his chest, stopping right below his nipples. Sasuke bites his lips and throws his head back on Naruto’s shoulder, holding on the plate he’s washing so he won't drop it and cause a crashing sound that would make Kakashi or Sakura come into the kitchen to investigate. Naruto watches Sasuke’s face with awe - the beauty in his best friend is something he knows for a fact is undeniable, but now, when the Uchiha lost himself to a momentary pleasure Naruto of all things and people was causing him… now, <em> that </em> was beauty Naruto never thought he’ll ever witness. His closed eyes, his vulnerability in this moment, his <em> submissivity </em>and utter trust in Naruto to do exactly what he wants, without Sasuke ever second-guessing his intentions, and Sasuke just accepts this as it is, consents to this, loving the touches Naruto gives him, all his face turns to softly relaxed one, his lips gaining attractive coral colour due to the lip biting so he wouldn't make a sound. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is stunned to absolute silence. He can't believe the utter trust Sasuke has in him, handing him all the dominance, letting him do whatever he decides with Sasuke’s body, the consent he got yesterday in the shower, and of course their surroundings. Sasuke’s eyes are closed, his body is tense due to the touches, but lax at awareness. Something good, amazing, <em> unbelievable </em>is happening in Sasuke’s mind, something noone is able to grasp and name, but it’s real. </p><p> </p><p>What caused this change - was it Sakura, confirming their friendship and understatement of Sasuke as a character? Was it Kakashi, finally being able to get to the core of the Uchiha? Was it Naruto, pushing their boundaries to a sexual relationship? Was it Shikamaru, always being the silent ally? Naruto didn't know, but he loved every second of this. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto intensively rubs Sasuke’s sides up and down, and then, just to be sure, he gently tugs at the waistband of Sasuke’s pants, lowering it down slowly, aware of Sasuke’s heartbeat and his movement and any sign of him not liking it; but his onyx eyes stay closed, his body stays relaxed, and Naruto knows he can lower his pants to set free his rock hard erection. Naruto’s hands stay at his hips, squeezing and holding him. Sasuke bites his lips and his eyes momentarily half open to look in Naruto’s face, then he closes them again, obviously basking in the feeling Naruto is causing him. The blond  then drags his fingernails from there to his belly button - he sees Sasuke’s cock twitch, move and jump up and down in excitement, and Naruto can't help the need to… to touch. He won't do it, Sasuke didn't consent to direct touches, but he feels… a slight wave of arousal down his own crotch - not enough to get hard, but it’s definitely more than he ever felt in presence of someone else. </p><p> </p><p>Instead of touching Sasuke’s private bits, he lets his hand travel to his thighs where the waistband is resting, squeezes him there and moves his hands in a slow, intense motion back to his tummy so close around his crotch, Naruto feels a slight tickling of Sasuke’s pubes - and Sasuke visibly shivers, his stomach, chest and tights is suddenly covered with goosebumps, as he visibly bites his lips to make sure not to make a sound. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto feels it in his stomach - he feels the intensity of the moment, the trust, love, affection, care and arousal on air, and it’s so much he can get drunk from it. He moves his hands back up to his chest, dragging his nails back down around his pubes (and almost in them) to Sasuke’s thighs, and to the back of them, nearly touching his naked bum; Sasuke’s head leans to the side and Naruto can feel his hot breath on the side of his neck and then the most beautiful and arousing thing at the same time happens: Sasuke lets out a silent, nearly-not-there, soft keen. The blond can feel his cheeks blushing and the warmth in his abdomen - he’s… not soft. He’s not getting hard per se, but there is something… he’s nearly -</p><p> </p><p>“Naruto?” </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi’s voice calls for him at the best as well as the worst moment. Naruto quickly pulls Sasuke’s pants back up, holds his hand and drags him outside of the house, the dishes forgotten there. Sasuke lets out a small giggle when he feels his erection die down due to the shock, the moving and the way Naruto is dragging him close to the beach - but also how he’s still holding his hand, while Sasuke’s pants are nearly falling off. </p><p> </p><p>They stop at the beach, looking back to the house. Kakashi doesn't follow them, he didn't even make it into the kitchen. Naruto then tugs Sasuke back into his arms, giving him a firm hug. </p><p> </p><p>It’s full of love, and everything else Sasuke ever hoped for. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I just wanted you all to myself,” Naruto whispers into his ear. “Just you and I.” </p><p> </p><p>“You know I never have a problem with that,” Sasuke whispers into Naruto's ear and holds onto him, dragging his hand up and down his back. </p><p> </p><p>“So… I guess it was okay?” the blond asks, feeling Sasuke relax. “Me, touching you like that?”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke needs one more reason to blush, seriously. He rolls his eyes and offers his ‘hn’ as an answer, but remembers better immediately: “You know - you know it’s okay, Naruto. I… I do like it. Enjoy it. I enjoy you, touching me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Good. Because I enjoy touching you, too, getting to know you. I mean, I enjoy touching you a bit too much - like, not touching you that I enjoy too much, I enjoy it too much!”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke may or may not be silently laughing. </p><p> </p><p>“[...]I’m just saying I love it, how you behave. Not like - no, I don't mean the hard cold bitch you pull sometimes, I mean the… the you, the real you - not that unless I’m touching you you aren't real, not like you are only yourself that I touch you, that’s not…-!”</p><p> </p><p>The scene is, no matter the situation, beautiful. Sasuke is in the arms of the love of his life, they are by the beach, listening to the silent, almighty ocean, they can see the neverending skies littered by stars. The air smells like the ocean and tropical night, it’s warm and inspiring. </p><p> </p><p>“[...]I mean, getting to know you as a… ehm, not getting to know you like, some pervert or whatever - or not that I don't know you!” </p><p> </p><p>It’s so calm. So nice. Naruto smells like something fresh with just the touch of manly. Like sandalwood, granny smith apples, bergamot, and amber.  </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“[...] You know I’m not any pervert - well, eh, I do love to touch you, and bring you pleasure - I told you that, but it’s more than that! I like the way you trust me, the way you let me touch you because you know I know your boundaries, and because I really enjoy the look in your face when you let yourself relax, and when you feel good.” </p><p> </p><p>It’s so comfortable, Sasuke realizes. Cuddling Naruto like this, only half listening to what his idiot is babbling about, resting in his arms, taking in the scenery, taking in his feelings, his Naruto, his warmth, his trust, his touches. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“[...] It’s not - It’s not like it’s sexual, the touching - well, it is of course, I mean - how can me touching you like that not be sexual? And you… you get pleasure out of it, so of course it’s sexual, but it’s not - the-the feelings, that is more important than that? </p><p> </p><p>It’s truly romantic, that is. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean, me causing you pleasure is more important for us than the - the-the actual pleasure? You know what I mean, right? Alright, I… I just, I really like how you trust me and ho--” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke breathes out a comfortable, calm, collected: “I’m in love with you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we go, _there we go_!!!</p><p>Who's excited for their first kiss?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Destined, in a way.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s mind is frozen in place, and space, too. He’s so hooked on Sasuke’s words he doesn't know what to say. And it’s so <em> laughable </em> , because it’s not like it’s a <em> surprise </em> per se, like he didn't know Sasuke, in his own way, loves him more than anything. So it’s not like Naruto is hearing any <em> news </em> , really. He saw that coming, especially now that they have the free time to sort their feelings out, on their schedule nothing but the other (and a bit of Kakashi and Sakura), he was… he knows Sasuke told him he is his <em> one and only </em>. He knows Sasuke doesn't like anyone quite like he likes him, so this isn't… this shouldn't be a surprise, and honestly, it’s not… it’s not that. Not really. </p><p> </p><p>He did expect… love, that’s… well, he means, like, look at it from his point of view, okay? </p><p> </p><p>Right, so, Sasuke only… ever really favours Naruto. In front of friends as well as strangers, he always prefers Naruto.  He only let’s <em> Naruto </em> get close to him. No stranger was ever allowed, any of their friends - aside from Shiki and maybe, <em> maybe </em> Sakura and Kiba - to ever come closer, to touch, to spend more than a few minutes. Naruto knew he’s special to his Sasuke, he knew there’s noone who’d ever be this close to the Uchiha. There’s noone who’d provide better comfort, better ground to let Sasuke build his own character, his own persona. There’s noone who’d be able to ever provide better care for Sasuke, and who’d Sasuke let take care of Naruto. Sasuke was a territorial man who didn't mind sharing as long as you didn't threaten him. And when someone flirts with Naruto, his territoriality shows pretty off. (Naruto didn't like to point it out to the Uchiha due to his pride.) (And also because he might not do it next time, and Naruto isn't willing to lose this side of Sasuke, who is jealous - oh, sorry, <em> territorial </em>- over his best friend - or well, the love of his life.) </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>So, all in all, this wasn't a surprise. </p><p> </p><p>What <em> was </em>a surprise, was those words. Those exactly… mainstream, so human, words. You see, Uchiha’s were prideful, pricky, asshole-type people. They didn't… feel, yet alone admit it to themselves, yet alone to say it. And if so, it was… Naruto didn't… expect these words. At all. He expected their usual - I enjoy your presence, I want to stay with you longer, You mean the world to me - the things they said to each other for more than a year now. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m in love with you.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Just like that. Just like it was said by any normal human, any normal person who didn't endure what Sasuke did; his family, and their death, too, and the loss of his brother. Naruto didn't expect Sasuke to give in to this kind of love, this kind of emotional connection, a soulmate, if you believe in such. He didn't expect this kind of <em> brutal honesty, </em> such a bare expression of his thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>He didn't expect Sasuke’s words to be this… cliché, yes, but that’s not what Naruto has i n mind - it’s human. It’s simple, and it’s the truth, honest and raw, just like Sasuke tends to be with his blond for the past year. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto didn't expect Sasuke to be this <em> human </em>. </p><p> </p><p>He expected the uchiha to always remain an Uchiha, in certain ways. He’d never expected Sasuke to say something so uncharacteristic, something that defines him in the human ranking whatsoever, yet alone when it comes to emotions. </p><p> </p><p><em> That </em>was the surprising part. </p><p> </p><p>In the seconds of Naruto's thoughts, Sasuke went through what Shikamaru, Kiba and Sakura told him, and what Kakashi told him, too. It’s all the same, everything they told him. They were right - the deep emotion, the indescribable bond they shared was never to be taken lightly, a year before or now. And when he puts into perspective everything he knew now about his clan, about Kurama, about Itachi… this probably was the right moment for it. Because, lets face it. </p><p> </p><p>He knows Naruto loves him just as much. And there’s no surprise at that, either. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto smiles, and steps back to see Sasuke’s face. “Hn,” he offers playfully, and Sasuke all but scoffs and playfully jabs his chest. Usually it’s the other way around, the “hn” thing, isn't it? But Naruto always knew how to speak to his best friend. </p><p> </p><p>“I think… I loved you before I even properly knew what that is,” Naruto answers honestly. “Before I had any idea about feelings, handholding, and hugging. Before I had any idea there are words for love between boys different than love between other genders - well, before I even knew anything about said gender, or sexuality, ...or love.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kiba warned me about it,” Sasuke recalls the conversation, like if they were having it yesterday. “About… the raw emotion there is between us, no matter how much we don't want to name it, or accept it for what it is.” </p><p> </p><p>“I know. I felt it, too,” Naruto looked into onyx eyes and let his lips settle on a fond smile. “I felt it, the… the <em> need </em>I have for you. And even Kurama... “ </p><p> </p><p>Whoops, there it is. </p><p> </p><p>They didn't talk about it yet. Properly. About what happened during the attack, why would Kurama even consider giving his powers to Sasuke, why would he let a Sharingan bearer, an Uchiha - whom he dearly hated for their hunger for power - have a complete control over the demon, yet alone helped him to save Konoha, and mostly Naruto. But they both know why, without ever thinking about it too much or too hard. It is what it is, really, and Kurama actually said it already - well, everyone who knew them already did. </p><p> </p><p>“I think… I think Kurama did what… what I would do. He trusts you, weirdly enough, because you are my…” </p><p> </p><p>“Precious person,” Sasuke recalls, yes. He remembers how even the Fox demon knew about his feelings for Naruto. Well, about their feelings for one another. </p><p> </p><p>“I feel like… like we are, kinda… <em> destined </em>. To… to be close.” </p><p> </p><p>“I think we were. Destined, yes. But I don't think this was,” Sauke gently stroked Naruto’s sides, still holding him (and Naruto is still holding him back), “was the purpose.” </p><p> </p><p>Naruto knows when to be silent, and when to indulge Sasuke to elaborate. And right now, silence seems like the better option. For some reason, Sasuke talks more when Naruto speaks less. </p><p> </p><p>“I think… we were destined in a way. We are way too similar, way too… strongly bounded to never have any relation. I mean - we are still… we are still on it, over it, around it - the same tempo, the same dance. But we both have it still at the back of our minds, right at hand whenever something happens - “ </p><p> </p><p>“The what if,” Naruto mumbles. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Sasuke breathes out, obviously tense, frustrated a bit. “There’s… there’s the “what if” all the time here between us. What if we didn't become friends? What if I didn't make you cry with my cold analysis the day I proposed I’ll teach you things? What if you ditched my vain and arrogant ass? What if instead of sorrow you felt rivalry again, and just challenged me into a fight like always? </p><p> </p><p>What would happen, if that proposition of mine, bad and wrong and ugly and so, so cold, would just make you angry, because I was yet again showing off and embarrassing you on purpose, obviously? Because - I was, no matter my intentions, I did embarrass you, looked down on you like always. And for some reason, you saw it as genuine, even thought I was an asshole about it. </p><p> </p><p>But - what if you didn't? What if you just... “ </p><p> </p><p>Naruto is gently smiling now at the emotion. They were both so unreliable by then, yes, but with their hearts upon their sleeves.. And, contrary to popular opinion, Sasuke’s heart was much more fragile. </p><p> </p><p>(It still is, in a way.) </p><p> </p><p>“I saw the offer for what it is not because you were bragging, Sasuke, but because it was the first time you were… how to say it, hm, open? No, not the right word. You were… personal. And you came to me first. You were not showing off, because you did that only when I was provoking. The… the situation where you came to me and offered help was different than any other scenario before. You never came to me and talked to me first before like this, on a personal matters. Your way of offering help, reaching out to me and trying to… make friends, wasn't as adequate as you’d wish now that you know better, but that was your fault as much as mine was that I needed your help, your guidance. And I’m not saying that to spite you, or to get rid of responsibility and reliability. I’m saying that for you to understand that as much as I’ve grown and learned and, well, <em> matured </em>, so did you. In a different way, of course.” </p><p> </p><p>“Still,” Sasuke lowers his face. </p><p> </p><p>“We had a rough start,” Naruto admits, laughing softly as he holds Sasuke’s face up by his chin. “That doesn't mean we are the same now.” </p><p> </p><p>“You are pretty gentle with me,” Sasuke says quickly, without really thinking about it. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto now laughs with more force, but still shortly, as he takes a hold of his sides again, recalling the situation in the kitchen a while ago. “I… I was trying to, yes.” </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke blushes, but he is able to look in Naruto’s face: “You… you were… nice.” </p><p> </p><p>“Did you like it?” Naruto makes sure, looking self-conscious now. He had no idea what he was doing, really. </p><p> </p><p>“Hn,” Sasuke hopes Naruto lets him pass with this answer this time, but of course not. Naruto nudges his sides gently, prompting him to elaborate. “I did. I liked… the way you… you teased.” </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't mean to,” Naruto raises his brows. “I didn't, I was trying… to make it… feel good. For you. You seemed to enjoy it, and I wanted… you to enjoy it- eh, didn't you listen to the ten minutes long monologue I just had here or what?!” </p><p> </p><p>“No, I was just thinking about kissing you.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ahahahaha - I'm _such_ and asshole. </p><p>See you soon! </p><p> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Cliché</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really, Sasuke</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he deadpans in his mind. Twice within what, five minutes? Your brain stopped woking for the stupid blond in your arms </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice </span>
  </em>
  <span>just minutes apart?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't know I could,” Naruto deadpans straight away. “You- you told me just like three days ago you are yet to meet the pers-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I lied,” Sasuke rolls his eyes, while Naruto frowns. Yeah, Sasuke knows he shouldn't have. He knows he’s not to lie to his best friend, but that's-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s considered rude to jump into another’s speech,” Naruto reminds Sasuke of one of the first lessons he taught him, all that time ago. “I kinda knew you lied, I mean, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I had this feeling of like. I couldn't… you know. Imagine you ever trusting anyone like you trust me. I just… for that matter, love I mean, I know you have issues with feelings like that. And I wasn't to push you - trust me, I learned my lesson about what you are like, and you said it multiple times yourself - noone can make you do what you don't want to do. Therefore I didn't… I was surprised you allowed the hugs, yet alone… later on holding and sleepovers and kisses and touches and some level of sexual relations. I didn't know kissing… kissing counts to that, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, I need you to… understand properly. I, what I feel for you… I didn't lie to you because I didn't… I don't know, I’m not ready, or I’m not sure, or I’m scared of loving you, or I have issues with my sexuality or anything like that, no it’s not that. I wanted to wait - especially with the sexual content-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The urgency in Sasuke’s eyes, the care and love in which he holds him, looks at him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>am ready,” Naruto finishes for him, suddenly understanding. “You wanted… what - what you waited for, then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably for… well, for once, when we are parted and you still… you miss me, and I am the first thing on your mind. You proved that after your mission without me. I also waited for you to ask certain questions, for you to… make the first step. I needed you to have different friends, different people to choose… whom you feel the best with. Whom you have the closest relationship with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a while, I was so scared it was Shiki,” Sasuke smiles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think,” Naruto starts after a while of silence, gently stroking Sasuke’s hip, “I think for a while, I thought that too. At the… at the beginning. You know, there was a while where you and I were not to be seen in public, there was a while I thought I’m pushing you and you thought I don't need you anymore, and I don't want you to be close anymore because of that… there was a while in between us, where I thought… that too. And Shikamaru wasn't… he didn't seem opposed to it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh trust me, he </span>
  </em>
  <span>isn't</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“But,” Nauto continues, “then there was… well, you said it earlier, the feeling of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I have for you. Like, I can't really be parted from you. And while I think, If I chose Shikamaru I wouldn't be unhappy or, I don't know, It wouldn’t bother me - no, not bother me, It wouldn't… well, it would have felt… I mean, it kinda feels like if I stayed with Shikamaru, I would… settle. For him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But with you, it’s…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are full of cliché,” Sasuke rolls his eyes, smiling and blushing, teasing Naruto, but all in all he completely agrees. Banter was always what they were best at. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, yes, Mr. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in love with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Naruto teases him right back, slightly tickling his sides, all pretty smile and honest eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Sasuke grunts as he tries to get away from Naruto’s ticklish fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make me,” Naruto holds Sasuke tighter and closer, leaning in close into Sasuke’s space, obviously offering his lips. Right before Sasuke leans in and closes the distance, Naruto adds a silent: “Last word.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s lips stretch in a terrible grin, unable to stay in the mood for their first kiss, so he breaks off a bit, hanging his head down and laughing it off, as he resumes into their previous position, seeing the shit-eating grin on Naruto’s face (he always pulls that face whenever he makes Sasuke openly laugh), as he gently whispers: “Cliché.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto contains his smile as much as he can when he accepts Sasuke’s closeness, holds him by his waist as he leans in with his head tilted to the side, instinctively knowing what to do. Sasuke sees Naruto closing his eyes, so he instinctively mirrors his action, letting their still smiling lips meet in the middle right here, under the neverending skies littered with stars, with the moon looming over them, with the ominous power of the ocean whispering under them, the cold sand sticking to their bare feet, and with their arms wrapped around each other, they do seem like one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke was right, earlier. Destined. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(This kiss surely felt like that.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto felt it all at once; the closeness, their bond, trust, love, sense of belonging. He felt Kurama purring, as his entire body felt at ease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke felt the bond, too. It felt like coming home, like catching a firefly into a jar in the summer nights - when you are a child; happy, unaware of what the real world is like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lets his hands wander up and down Naruto's back, doing what Naruto loves so much, and he contentedly sighs into his lips. Naruto moves in so close to Sasuke he can feel his heartbeat, cuddling him in, offering his lips in another kiss, and Sasuke doesn't hesitate to act on it. It’s a bit uncoordinated, and it’s slow, but it’s also full of smiles and playfulness and trying and pushing boundaries and tasting and taking the situation in. It's exactly like they are - in sparing, in conversation, they are the same when they kiss. <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they part, Sasuke looks up to meet Naruto's happy, wide, honest eyes. “How are you even real, Naru? You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you are too good for this world. I don't deserve you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, it’s the thing about love, don't you think?” Naruto steps away a bit so he can look into Sasuke’s eyes, take his hand, and lead him further on their walk. “It’s not about what you deserve. You just… have it. Love, I mean. And I’m… I feel like I’m full of love, when it comes to you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke murmurs his ‘cliché’ once again, but Naruto pays him no mind. And considering today’s events, it’s actually Sasuke who is the hopeless romantic here. C’mon now, the stars, the moon, the beach, the silence, the ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in love with you’</span>
  </em>
  <span>… who wouldn't fall for that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn't… sure,” Sasuke starts after a while of comfortable silence, warm wind and few seashells at the shore. “About… if I should tell you or not. What I feel for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is dying to ask, but he knows his best friend, the love of his life - Sasuke talks the most when he has a feeling he’s alone in the conversation. (Naruto blames his parents for this, too, among other things.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” Sasuke follows up on his previous thought after a second. “I… I know I’ve been in love with you for much longer than I… actively knew it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto wants to know precisely when he realized, how long has it been, what made him realize that, what was his reaction, why didn't he tell him straight away…?! But he remains silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And my… I didn't wait then for… a reason, I think. It was just something I didn't have words for. But then I spoke… I spoke to Shiki, and Kiba, and Kakashi and then… and then with Sakura.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura?! Sasuke actively, openly talked to Sakura?!? About what, feelings!?! In what fucking universe is Naruto living now, what the hell?? He’s dying to ask now, he wants to know everything, every single detail, what happened, when it happened, why it happened - and how - but he can't. Sasuke wouldn't say a word after, so Naruto literally bites his tongue and his lower lip and just waits, focusing on deep, even breathing so he wouldn't disturb the Uchiha in his speech. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With Shikamaru, we talked mostly about, well… I just wanted to know if he… approves. For several reasons,” he isn't to out the Nara, and he also isn't to tell Naruto the genius has feelings for the future hokage. “With Kiba it was… I just… wanted to ask how to… tell you. And since he’s got some actual experience with relationships, I wanted… his advice. With Kakashi, I honestly needed to know what happened. Obito, and love, and too young and all that. I wanted to know if Kakashi regrets it. If… if loving him and losing him was worse than choosing to never ever do it. And Kakashi is so emotionally unavailable I’m surprised he even talked to me about it. What I didn't expect was the talk I had with Sakura, that wasn't… I was looking for… the reason why I’m stalling. Why I don't want to tell you, and she made me realize why. Mostly, she had me put it to words, and therefore face it; I didn't… I. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah. Please, Naruto, don't take it the wrong way, don't - I don't mean this in a bad way or to… hurt you in any way. I’m honest, Naruto, I’m as honest as you taught me to be,” Sasuke stops and turns to face his silent boyfriend, who is still biting his tongue, and is biting it harder and harder. “I… I didn't want to… I didn't want to just act on feelings you have for me, because a year, two later you can fall in love with someone else and then you might regret what you had with me, what you </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasted </span>
  </em>
  <span>with me. And… I definitely didn't want to… </span>
  <em>
    <span>end </span>
  </em>
  <span>the childhood you have now. I mean - I mean, you are… getting used to all the good attention and friends and people who like you. And you are too… unskilled with ehm, potential… lovers, or partners or just, boyfriends and girlfriends - you just recently found out about this all, and I didn't want to force you to be with me just because I chose you a long, long time ago. Because I feel like I have years of advance in this field that you don't, due to the neglect you suffered through. And you just… made friends, you are just getting used to all of this and I can't just take you “off the market” and expect logical, adult decisions about something you are still getting comfortable in. Naruto, I need you to realize, you might soon find someone who will be more important to you than me, whom you’ll share a deeper bond with. I feel like I… like I groomed you for myself, like I raised you to my liking, like I… somehow manipulated you into loving me back. And I’m not saying you are easily manipulated, or you are unable to make your decisions, I’m saying… I’m saying…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stops at halt and inhales an anguish breath, releasing a shaky one right after. “I’m just saying you wear your heart on your sleeve, and you are too good for this world. You even made me believe </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>human.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stops biting his tongue right then. He inches closer to his boyfriend and hugs him close, and he’s trying to say something but he can't, because there’s one too many thoughts and emotions in his brain, on his tongue. He can't say anything, so he lets all he feels just reflect on his face, and in a single tear that leaves his eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“l don't care,” Naruto whispers, shaky, sappy, emotional, overwhelmed; “how cliché it sounds. I think we were destined… and for a good reason.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Naruto has no idea about how <em>right</em> he actually is.) </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yay, they kissed, finally! <br/>Happy holidays, guys, as chliché as it sounds.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Kakashi's traumas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi heard them come back from their night walk and he wanted to get up from the comfortable couch in the livingroom to wish them good night, but right in the moment he smelled the lingering scent of slight arousal that held on the both of them, he therefore sustained all of his chakra and his own scent, wishing not to be noticed - he didn't want to come in between them. Especially in a moment like this, when they are sneaking back into the house to probably finish what they started on the beach. (Kakashi felt sorry for Sasuke’s blue balls for months now.) Sasuke was trying to be discreet about his feelings and his scents, but Naruto… well, he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Naruto</span>
  </em>
  <span>, after all, so of course the younger of them silently giggled when entering the house, muttering a teasing “our room?” to which Sasuke didn't reply, but he must have agreed anyway, because Naruto made a small noise and then… Kakashi wasn't sure if the kiss he heard was just on a face, and who placed it. But it was short, a bit teasing, mocking-like, something Sasuke rather than Naruto would do, which… did Sasuke just mock-kissed Naruto for being too eager to cuddle (and more) Sasuke in private…? Was Sasuke allowing himself feelings in such a soothing, genuine way? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boys run up their bedroom and close the door behind themselves, and Kakashi slowly relaxes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feelings, hn. Genuine, loving, caring, a bit embarrassed, a bit amused Sasuke seemed to be now and Kakashi can't help but bitterly conclude:</span>
  <em>
    <span> Itachi could never. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Itachi never allowed himself anything, and Kakashi faced Fugaku one time too many to understand why exactly. You see, Kakashi wasn't quick to judge, and he didn't hold grudges /he'd be dead if he did/, and while he always claimed that the village is more than a clan, he knew there were people in the past who wouldn't agree with him. In Kakashi’s youth, he believed there was just one person who would openly not agree with him, and that was Uhiha Fugaku. Today, he knows it wasn't just his fault. Fugaku’s, that is. It was… who knows. Could be tied back to Uchiha Madara, for all Kakashi knows now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You see, Kakashi, before everything with Danzo, knew one thing about the Uchiha massacre, and that was: Fugaku </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserved </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. He was also probably the only reason Itachi never… </span>
  <em>
    <span>lived</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Itachi wasn't… Itachi... wasn't… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are fleeting thoughts that follow Kakashi’s inner thoughts; Itachi, with his ANBU mask up, with his silky hair in a perfect braid, with his bloodied katana in hands, offering Kakashi a tiny timid smile after a successful mission; Itachi standing waist deep in a river, washing his hair that ended up bloody after a mission as Kakashi watched him from afar, never daring to come in closer; Itachi being scolded by Uhiha Fugaku for missing some family meeting because Itachi’s team took the long way home from a mission; Itachi, looking tired in the way that sleep won't fix, a look Kakashi knew so well from the looks he received from his reflection in the mirror.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi gets up to find comfort in his bedroom, and maybe nap for a couple of hours. (Whom is he kidding; he’ll spend all night listening to Naruto’s breathing, just like he does for the past year nearly every night, for at least a couple of minutes - sneaking in there even while on duty. (He doesn't lie, especially to himself, since Obito, so he admits easily he likes the nights Naruto spends with Sasuke the most - he can listen to their even breaths, sit closeby, think, picture everything that could have been, and maybe what will be, if Naruto forgives him - and Naruto did -,, and maybe what could have been if Obito… or maybe even Minato… or at least Jiraiya... ) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>/.../ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn't allow himself much comfort, but lately, with Naruto and Sasuke closer to him, he’s got a feeling that evokes family he lost so many times before, and with such, it’s nearly impossible to stay loyal to the self hate. Naruto loves him so much, and Sasuke cares about him too, and Tsunade always… the hate he feels for himself is slowly being burned out by the love he receives. But this time, Kakashi promised to himself, he’s not going to lose it. Sasuke was probably right, all those months back - what has the village ever done for him…? And if Kakashi wants to stay true to who he is, this decision is probably for the best; he won't ever let his family leave him. No matter what happens. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And after a while Kakashi hears soft noises from the bedroom above him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s soft, just rusting sheets, whispers. Kakashi doesn't hear their voices, but he can imagine what is going on. And he is correct, after he recognizes a soft moan Naruto coaxed from Sasuke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi lies there awake, watches the ocean, and his mind wanders. Last year he had Kurenai and Asuma to keep him company. He had Kurenai on her back, pliant and beautiful, glowing in the moonlight, warm, wet, welcoming. She was moaning and meeting him in the middle of their heated act. She was surprised, pleased with his skills and care. He had Asuma fuck him hard and steady from behind - Asuma’s strong hands held him in place, guarded and in tact with reality. He made sure Kakashi didn't forget his surroundings, he was talking to him most of the time, thanking him for staying alive, admiring his perfect body, praising his skills, kissing his scars, moaning his name, holding him, helping him reach his climax. He fell asleep cuddled in between them, and he was thankful none of them mentioned his tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today, he looks over his body - hard muscles, scarred skin - and he slowly pats his chest. His mother, soon after his father. All those years back, he had Obito and he didn't know how happy he could be - and then Obito died. And then Rin. He had Minato, his hero, his sensei, his friend - and his crush. He died a few weeks after. Jiraiya died soon after him, and Kakashi was alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then, Kakashi lost it. He lost everything once again, his first and his second family. His parents, the love of his life, his friend, his senseis. And then, mourning and emotionally traumatized hiding in ANBU, he met Itachi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beautiful, talented Itachi, who seemed as alone and as troubled as Kakashi himself. He hoped so much they’ll become friends, but Itachi was… untouchable. He never talked. He never made friends, he never took the time to use their ANBU common room or showers to have a word or two. But then they happened to work in the same team, and in the lone dawns right before attacks, they finally had the time to get to know each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>/.../</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so different than any of the ANBU or shinobi Kakashi ever met. Soft, peaceful, thoughtful, gentle. And yet, a perfect soldier. In a different world where everything made sense and where the politics was clear, they might have been friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kakashi lets the soft moans from above fill his ears, before he slides one hand down his crotch. His mind is full of Obito’s soft “I love you” in the dark, Rin’s laughter, full of Itachi’s hair, there is Asuma’s dick filling him up, Kurenai’s wet pussy surrounding him, Shikaku’s solid chest, Minato’s face, Anko’s boobs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he cums, there are tears in his eyes, but his soul seems lighter. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Aveger killed the kitten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the upper bedroom, Naruto and Sasuke are cuddling in their bed, whispering soft words of approval they both need, and exchanging kisses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You became so gentle,” Naruto whispers when Sasuke strokes his jaw after one of their kisses. “I don't remember you ever being so soft with anyone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke leans in and kisses Naruto’s lips once more: “I never allowed myself feelings, you know that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto kisses his lips in a soothing gesture of “I know. Is why I’m so proud of you now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lowers his head and Naruto knows he’s blushing, and he knows Sasuke likes it, despite being a bit embarrassed about it. It’s a good feeling, knowing the love of your life is proud of you, is happy for being who you are, for being alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I never… felt,” Sasuke murmurs after a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto holds him tight, settles and waits. He knows there is a story to that, obviously another one that traumatized him beyond understanding, another one he needs to comprehend, deal with and hopefully move on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There… there was a moment, I was maybe eleven, where… there was a kitten too young to survive on his own. Lost, obviously without his mother.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto nods as to tell him he’s listening, focusing on him and not just zoning off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was… I wanted to take him in, feed him, take care of him. He wasn't scared of people, I think he was… scared of loneliness. I… I looked at him and… he was black, charcoal black. I saw it in his eyes - he was desperate for a friend, for someone to help him. I wanted… I wanted to. I wanted to take him in, feed him, cuddle him, I wanted someone who’d share my loneliness, but I… I couldn't. I am an Uchiha. I’m a shinobi, an avenger. I don't have feelings, I am supposed to stay alone so I can become strong and fulfill my duty; kill Itachi and restore my clan. So I didn't… I couldn't. I wanted to, I heard it… I heard it scream at night, it was desperate for his mother, it was hungry and scared. And I lied… I lied there awake and I couldn't do anything because I was… I wasn't supposed to have feelings. I just lied there and listened to the kitten for two days and three nights. On the third day I found it… I found it under my porch, dead. I couldn't just… and I… I couldn't allow myself to be sad about it, to be… to mourn for it even, because I knew the kitten died because of me. I was… I could have-I could have saved it. Or at least bury it after, but I… couldn't. I couldn't. I used the kitche window to leave the house so I wouldn't have to see it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke started sobbing in the middle of his story, and Naruto, after all those months, knows this is a therapeutic crying for him, that he’ll feel better after. He just never had the time to mourn for the kitten, for himself, and his troubled past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto whispers, as he holds his best friend close and gently sways with him. “I’m so sorry you had to go through something like this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I was-I,” the sobs are getting heavier now, but Naruto doesn't lose his calm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows Sasuke needs it. He needs to cry to remember his feelings, and he needs to cry to cope with his corrupted past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cry it out, Sasuke,” Naruto gently reminds him. “It’s alright. You were sad you couldn't keep the kitten, and you were sad you were not allowed to mourn for it. That’s okay, you can mourn now, I understand your feelings. I understand your situation back then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Sasuke sobs into his boyfriend’s shirt. “I’m s-sorry, I just… I just… I’m s-sorry…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the apology,” Naruto decides to say after a couple of minutes of Sasuke repeating it. “I accept it. I think… you explained your behaviour and your actions, and I see you understand your decisions were wrong. But you know better now, don't you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke nods while trying to contain his crying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you let the kitten die now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-no! No, I’d-I’d take-take it in, I’d-I’d fe-feed it and help it and name it and love it, I’d provide home for it!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you would,” Naruto smiles and kisses his forehead. “I know you would.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a while, but Sasuke calms down enough to look up: “I honestly don't know what I would do without you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably the same I would without you,” Naruto concludes lightly, but he is hundred percent serious, as he wipes out Sasuke’s remaining tears. “Maybe we could get you a kitten now, so you wouldn't be alone in the Uchiha district.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Sasuke murmurs and cuddles closer. “I got your shirt wet,” he observes. “...Sorry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll dry off,” Naruto shrugs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Or you can take it off,” Sasuke suggests innocently, but the blond sees through it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh can I now…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Naruto wants to laugh at his boyfriend’s seemingly innocent suggestion, because - of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course </span>
  </em>
  <span>he noticed Sasuke’s not-so-discreet looks he’s shooting him when he thinks Naruto doesn't look, but to be this blunt…? Shikamaru was probably right and Sasuke is getting more human-like, more open, less guarded, but also, Naruto is </span>
  <em>
    <span>rubbing off </span>
  </em>
  <span>on him. Sasuke wasn't like this, wasn't teasing and flirting and genuinely happy to receive physical attention, a year, two, three back. He was never happy with people around, and Naruto nowadays knows why (Sasuke told him himself) - it was his anxiety attacks that kept him at bay from both humans </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>feelings. But Sasuke is coping, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>healing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’s doing much better now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto is smirking, but he sits up and does take his shirt off for Sasuke to reach up to him and touch his shoulders to push him back down. Naruto complies, still wearing the same discreet smug smirk - he loves this vulnerable, gentle side of Sasuke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is…” Sasuke is still too vulnerable to change the mood properly, but Naruto is sure they are horny teenagers just right. “Is it… okay to need your… closeness like this?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s expression changes from smug to serious again: the kitten’s death was probably like a mirror to traumatized eleven years old Sasuke. Naruto understands why the situation was so traumatizing to him: it was basically the first death he was responsible for; and it was purely Sasuke’s decision to make - to kill an innocent being. This must have taken a serious toll on his best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think we are beyond the point where we question our closeness, don't you think?” Naruto asks and it’s a serious question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not - I’m not questioning, I’m…!” Sasuke is feeling vulnerable and he needs comfort, but Naruto raised him better than this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want something, Sasuke, ask for it. I’m here for you and you know it, regardless of our relationship status,” Naruto reminds him. “You want something from me. I’ll give it to you, I just need you to ask for it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke always had issues with seeking help or realizing he can't do something on his own - especially speaking about his emotions. Naruto knows he’s embarrassed and scared to show vulnerability, and he’s afraid he will be denied just like he was his whole childhood. But Naruto is his best friend, and his boyfriend and partner for life probably, hopefully, and Sasuke should be able to ask for physical, moral or emotional help or support. Naruto is right here and Sasuke knows it, Naruto is perfectly ready to do anything for his Uhicha, but Sasuke needs to learn, heal, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>grow</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Teamwork and trust are crucial in mission, and in life too. It’s time for Sasuke to face his fears just like Naruto did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Sasuke’s heartbeat is picking up it’s rate, and it looks like an anxiety attack is nearing, but Naruto is right there, always siding with his best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What you need, Sasuke? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I nee-need… I, uh, can you - can you h-hold me?” there’s so much vulnerability in Sasuke’s eyes now. He’s scared he’s not being strong enough, he’s yet again being needy and emotional when he isn't allowed to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks into the onyx eyes, holds Sasuke tight and kisses his forehead. “Of course I can, mine. Is there anything else you want?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can… can you ta-talk, please?” Sasuke seems so tiny, when he whispers like this, all sweet and innocent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, what exactly do you want me to talk about?” Naruto smiles at him, already knowing exactly what Sasuke wants, he’s just too afraid to ask for it, scared he’ll receive nothing or worse, he’s going to be ridiculed for wanting attention, cuddles, words of praise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ab- about… me. I want you to…” it’s the point where Sasuke gets overwhelmed by embarrassment and while Naruto understands his feelings, he needs Sasuke to know how to ask for things, how to talk about vulnerable or </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassing </span>
  </em>
  <span>things - especially now that they are in a relationship. “I… can you please… talk nice to me? Like you always do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is actually nice, Naruto smiles at his boyfriend. “I’m so proud of you, Sasuke. You are getting so good with your feelings and with the trust you have for people. And this, you showing so much vulnerability, especially when I know this has been a big issue for you, is a big progress. You are amazing, Sasuke, you are trying so hard to get better, and you are perfect in it. I just wanted to thank you for that before I get any further.” </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Submissivity for comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is calming down rapidly at Naruto’s words, hiding in his chest, his “I always need to be in charge, have last word, be dominant” dissolves like steam above a pot, and all that is left is a scared, tiny, soft Sasuke with tears in his eyes, slightly shaking, holding tight onto his younger boyfriend. “Do… you mean it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean every word I say to you - especially when you need me to be there for you,” Naruto smiles and caresses his pretty face. “You are getting stronger like this. I know this isn't easy for you, but I can see it in your daily life: you are getting so much better. With other people, with strangers, with friends, with Kakashi and with me. See, you are even able to tell me now you want cuddles - and you were able to ask Kakashi to help you, when you needed him, isn't that right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn't really ask,” Sasuke murmurs. “I just… stared at him and hoped he’ll get the message.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will ask him then, right?” Naruto pushes a bit. “You’ll go to him tomorrow and ask him for cuddles.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes, his threatening anxiety attack gone. “...Okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good boy,” Naruto smiles and kisses Sasuke’s face. “You are so pretty, gods - how can I ever stop doing this?” he kisses him right above his cheekbone again. “So beautiful, and blushing so cutely, look at you! You must be the prettiest shinobi in all nations. I’m so happy you are now so much more than both: pretty and a shinobi. There’s so much more to you, Sasuke. I’m so, so happy you are getting comfortable with your feelings, and you are allowing yourself to be human, because I know you are kind, and gentle, and soft, and funny, and loyal. I mean, you are still quite the asshole, but I know it’s just… your protection. And I don't want you to tear it all down, I mean - we are still shinobi, after all. But in front of me, and Shiki, and Kakashi, and Sakura and some others… I am so happy, so proud of you for getting out of your shell.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is… looking… so young. And adorable. And just… just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>submissive </span>
  </em>
  <span>and so <em>not</em> himself Naruto is overwhelmed for a while. He’s got a feeling his head is spinning, that he has to kiss Sasuke otherwise he’ll, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>die </span>
  </em>
  <span>or something. Sasuke is so adorable, curled up to himself, his hands gently touching Naruto's chest, his hair in his face and his dark, dark eyes looking up at him from the most submissive position Naruto could ever imagine him in. He’s so cute, so innocent, so pretty. Naruto just has to lean over him, look him in his beautiful, vulnerable eyes, and kiss his lips. Sasuke makes a silent noise high in his neck, keening, like a kitten would, and Naruto’s heart skips a beat. This is a bit too much for him to handle, he needs to do something, he needs to release the feelings he’s full of for his best friend, so his touch becomes a bit more urgent, a bit more real. Sasuke holds straight, keeping his position the same, only touching Naruto’s chest a bit more, leaning his head up to meet his lips better. Naruto realizes a second too late Sasuke is passing off the dominant position in his favour not to get out of Naruto’s comfort zone, but to r</span>
  <em>
    <span>each his own</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto can feel it, the immediate tense in his groin; it’s a sensation he isn't much too familiar with, since it usually happens when he’s still asleep and therefore not much aware of this bodily function but he knows the feeling that comes right after well enough. It’s, of all things, Sasuke of course, who awakens these feelings, </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs </span>
  </em>
  <span>even, especially when the raven haired is showing so much submissivity - It has an unpredictable effect on him, it awakens something animalistic and a little inappropriate at the moment, something he can't tame that easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke opens his eyes when their first kiss ends and motions with his head he wants more, but Naruto needs to take the scene in, he wants to enjoy this side of Sasuke to the bits; so he moves away to Sasuke’s confusion, however Naruto is quick to assure him with his eyes that everything is perfect, that he just needs a moment. And Sasuke doesn't look convinced, but he lets Naruto do whatever the blond wants - he lets his arms roam his body and face, he lets the love of his life kiss his forehead and cheeks and chin, he lets his overwhelmed feelings take place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Uchiha understands from it that if Naruto was a sharingan bearer, his eyes would swirl red in need to remember this exact moment for life. Sasuke’s tensed body relaxes and Naruto hugs his boyfriend so close and so hard Sasuke can feel it in his </span>
  <em>
    <span>soul</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto can't get over the feelings he’s got for his best friend, the person he loved the most in this world. It’s like trying to stop a tsunami with bare hands, Naruto can only hold the Uchiha close, map his body with his palms, hide the lithe body under his strong one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to hide you right here, between the fluffy comforter and myself to always keep you safe, and at the same time, I want to show you off to the world, to make them see what a perfect human being you’ve become, and that you decided to be mine,” Naruto says it like a secret, and Sasuke would have rolled his eyes and tease his boyfriend about how sappy and cliché he sounds, only if he hadn’t been so overjoyed. Blushing and slightly embarrassed, hearing Naruto say such a thing, but deeply flattered at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a practical place to hide anyone,” Sasuke murmurs and Naruto giggles, releases his bear hug and looks him in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you’d manage. I’ve never met anyone who can hide their chakra and scent at the same time so well. Ask Kakashi, not even he can track you down, when you focus on erasing your presence,” Naruto lies on his side, one hand still half-hugging the raven haired boy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s actually a small trick you’d be able to do too, if it were not for your ADHD,” Sasuke points out. “The trick is to focus on the strongest thing around and trying to blend in with it. Here, it’s the ocean. At home… usually other people. You’d have issues I think to stay focused for so long. Also, you are the offensive type, whereas I am the defensive one. I’m better at hiding and sneaking, and you are better at ambushing and combat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How does my ADHD relate to my ability to sneak?” Naruto wants to know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, to put it bluntly…? I think your mouth is quicker than your brain,” Sasuke half smiles, half smirks and Naruto has to just quickly attack Sasuke’s lips with his own just to prove his point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess you are right,” Naruto laughs as Sasuke rolls his eyes, but there is a tiny smile behind that gesture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My point was, if we were overpowered and I was nearly out of chakra, what would you do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stall and over-combat, so you could sneak off and call in for hel- oh,” Naruto suddenly understands, then smiles at his boyfriend: “Yeah, okay, you are right. I’m not that sneaky.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but you can be, when the time comes. Remember the sneaking you did when you stole the ANBU masks?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was no sneaking,” Naruto huffs a laugh. “That was just provoking Neji into playing with us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew you had an ulterior motive,” Sasuke pokes his chest in a playful manner, but Naruto laughs and attacks right back, half wrestling Sasuke onto his back, holding his hands, overpowering him easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair,” Sasuke deadpans. “You know I have no chance in hand to hand combat nowadays.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Naruto stops, looking at Sasuke’s pretty face (and getting momentarily distracted). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your -” Sasuke Notices Naruto is starstrucked, and is a bit distracted by it, too. “ehm. Y- your strength uppers my speed. Even if I activate Sharingan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible and you know it,” Naruto calls him out. “Only Byakugan uppers Sharingan, and even that needs a lot of practise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Mangekyou Sharingan uppers Byakugan, but that’s not the point. If you know how to distract any kekkei genkai users, and get close enough for hand-to-hand combat, noone has a chance.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I mean… I’m pretty good with that, but I don't think I can ever win against any kekkei genkai user. Well, except you of course,” Naruto adds, shit eating grin on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke tries his speed, tries to slap him across his forehead, but Naruto knows him too well, he waits for the perfect moment that needs minimum movement, waits for the exact moment when Sasuke’s hand is the closest, and then catches it, and bring it to his mouth to kiss it’s knuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s eyes stay red for a bit longer, looking Naruto in his eyes in an attempt to memorize this exact moment, but he forgot his emotional state, forgot his balance, and put Naruto under mild genjutsu. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. The difference between demon and a beast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has to blink once or twice, to understand what happened. He’s… Naruto is still kissing his hand and Sasuke is still lying on his back, but they definitely are not in the beach house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Using your eyes on me again, child?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto gets up and Sasuke does too, and while Naruto happily skips to the gates where the Demon lies with his head on his front paws, Sasuke takes a slower route. “I wasn't using them on you, Kurama.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn't be here without it,” the fox counters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not every time an Uchiha activates Sharingan they mean to fight, Kurama,” Naruto tries to explain, sticking his hand through the gates to try and </span>
  <em>
    <span>pet </span>
  </em>
  <span>the demon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes - while Kurama surely doesn't seem to be aggressive without reason, he still is a powerful being, not a fluffy kitty. He needs to have a serious talk with Naruto, when Kurama kicks them back out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His eyes possess power and death,” Kurama huffs and turns his head to the side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn't mean to disturb you,” Sasuke speaks then. “This was an accident. I was… trying to memorize an important moment, and didn't know about… this effect.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One can't put a bijuu under genjutsu, therefore not even jinchuuriki can ever be put under genjutsu,” Kurama explains and honestly, that makes sense, because… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why you are immune to my speed - and Kakashi’s, too,” Sasuke understands now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto, like always, doesn't. “What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you can't… My speed works on two levels, one is I put you in mild genjutsu, making you slower, harder to move, and the other is my general ability to mirror your every move and therefore predict it as if we were moving at the same time and speed. But you are probably immune to the genjutsu part, that’s why I, and probably noone with eye technique, can't ever beat you - or any jinchuuriki, for that matter.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ha! You can't put me under genjuts- and what was the thing Orochimaru used on me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That wasn't genjutsu, that was a seal of a kind. You… were already unconscious by the time he put it up. But Kurama here helped us right away.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is expecting the demon to do something, and acknowledging Sasuke admitted the nine-tailed helped, was more helpful to Naruto than Sasuke himself. But the fox stays adamant to their presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurama? We didn't even have the chance to thank you. For what you did. How you helped us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still silence, but the red eyes are watching the pair closely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You decided to give your power to Sasuke. Why?” Naruto asks, sitting right in front of the gate. “During the fight with Danzo I mean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama is silent for a while, but then moves his powerful body, stands up, stretches just like cats do and Sasuke suddenly finds himself ready to pet the demon too. It’s a wild world they live in, isn't it. “I’m not sure how humans feel chakra, child. Us, old demons, we see chakra as elements. Fire, like your precious person has, can take shapes, too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shapes? What kind of shapes?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shapes, like Shadow. And shapes like black never ending fire I’ve seen only once, the shape of Uchiha Madara,” Kurama looks Sasuke in the eye and the youngest Uchiha can feel it - the shape his fire took - it’s… it’s clear, nearly… nearly cold. It’s bright, but… but not a fire colour. It’s… electric white, taking a shape of lightning rather than fire. “But the fire I feel in you, child, isn't like any of those. You promised you won't abuse my powers… and you didn't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You promised to side with Naruto,” Sasuke reminds him. “And you did. I remember… I was so powerful. I felt for a second like I can do anything. Was that the power Uchiha Madara wanted from you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama slightly nods before he lies back down right in front of Naruto, only the gates separating them now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What for? Why does he want such power?” Sasuke doesn't understand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama stares at the boy, obviously surprised to hear such a thing. “Uchihas always want power. For revenge.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't want any revenge,” mumbles. “Not anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That obviously sparkles some interest in the fox: “So you wanted to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Before I… well, honestly, before I met… you two. Naruto and you I mean. But I… When I met Orochimaru who offered me power and knowledge, I… I thought of you. How you told me you hate Uchihas for they always want power. We… Kurama, we… did some research and you were right, the last time we spoke - Uchiha Madara is still alive. And… he’s coming back. For your power.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto expected rage, Sasuke hate. Neither happens. Kurama’s eyes watch the Uchiha when he speaks: “Which side are you taking, child?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yours,” Sasuke surprises the Demon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama keeps his eyes on the enemy for a while, before his eyes narrow and he lets his chakra tail out of the cage, laying it out around both boys. Naruto happily squeaks and nuzzles his entire body into the soft fur. Sasuke is a bit more hesitant, but he does reach in and pats the ninth tail. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is obviously overjoyed, drowning in the soft, nearly red fur, obviously happy he can bond with his inner demon (how many people can say that?), while Sasuke thinks about their first official S-ranked mission they need to attend when they come back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask about your Tails, Kurama,” Naruto changes the subject - he wants to get to know Kurama better. “How did you get this one? There’s… there’s a place on it that makes your fur go in a swirl - right here. I noticed it the last time we were here, can I ask about it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama closes his eyes and lets the human do whatever they want. “Each tail carries a story. The one you are touching is yours.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stops cuddling the soft material and sits up, looking straight into the depths of red eyes. “Mine?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My last, ninth tale, appeared after Uchiha Madara took over my own power, and he lost his chakra sooner than I did. I bought the yondaime some time to seal me in you, child. Your power helped me heal, therefore the tail I got has healing powers.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Healing powers? Does that mean each tail has got some powers?” Naruto goes on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When we were created, chakra beasts they called us; not for the tails we possesed, but for the tails we were able to get - which means how powerful we are, as well as how old we are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Therefore… you are the oldest, and the most powerful of chakra beasts, is that right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Essentially, yes. But tails come with experience and age.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you - wait you said you got your ninth tail when the Leaf was… when Uchiha Madara attacked the village, you were not nine-tailed yet, you were not… a kyuubi,” Sasuke concludes. “This means, you were named nine-tailed, the kyuubi, but you only had eight tails at that time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only Uhiha Madara ever called me that,” Kurama spits his name like poison. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were commonly known under that title,” Sasuke explains. “Although I understand why you aren't fond of it. You are known as kyuubi, the nine-tailed beast - you and one of our legends of nine-tailed kitsune probably became one. I mean, noone ever saw your true form, that’s why you’ve become… known for this name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama gently moves the tail Naruto is cuddling to, which makes the boy grip on it harder, trying to catch it. It’s like two- and one-tailed; Kurama feels like having kits again. “I’m a demon, child, not a beast.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is the difference?” Naruto asks bluntly and Sasuke wants to warn him to stay polite, but the demon seems quite content. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I used to be a beast, before I was tamed,” Kyuubi explains. “Then I became a demon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… you don't really look like you hate it. Being tamed I mean, being… sealed here,” Naruto looks up where he knows the seal is set. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It looks like Kurama doesn't want to really say anything, but then Sasuke looks at the demon to see he is looking straight at him, not at Naruto. “To explain that, I’d have to tell you a story you might be affected by.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gently touches Kurama’s tail where Naruto is still cuddling it, offering him and gentle stroke. He’s not here to make enemies, but he knows Kurama isn't one to talk often and most questions he dodges. So if he wants to talk, whatever it is, Sasuke will sit right here and won't even move just to know what the demon had to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you before I want to know everything you are willing to share with us. How were you created? And how did you get your tails? What power do they possess? How old are you? And… and why does Uchiha Madara want your powers so bad?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke is sure Kurama dodges his question, just like he did many times before, but Kurama decided the boys deserve his trust. Kurama sits up, with his head held high, and starts on a breathtaking story of his life, his past, his tails, and the love of his life. And how he lost it. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think, after some time in my life, I can tell the difference between good and bad writing. What Kishimoto, after shipuuden especially, did with the shipuuden, I wouldnt call "bad writing", I'd call it "bad judgement". It's basically the same what G. R. R. Martin did with his "game of thrones" - he sold it before the story was done. <br/>What I see the biggest problem with Naruto plotline is that Kishimoto had an idea, and he probably thought the ending differently, and what let towards it. Or he got too over his head, and wanted to create something bigger than he could handle, he added stupid shit to already existing and circled universum, because he was... how to say it, he was trying to sold the "drama" after the start of war. You see, confusing reader/fan once who is the ultimate enemy, thats good, really nice, breathtaking, smart, interesting to read. But twice? Thats just.... weird. Thrice?! Thats... yeah, thats definitely bad writing. He also took most facts he was feeding his universum, and basically told us none of this applies now, because the author changed his mind. Okay, that can happen, alright. Give simple explanation in the plot, or do not at all and hope readers/fans will just skip it. But Kishimoto? He gave us overload of bullshited explanation he made up to seem smart. Some fans dont mind, some readers just shrug and let it go, and some readers recognize this decision wasn't really the author's, since he holds little power over the plotline now that he sold it, and the owners of the story know exactly what audience they wanna target, therefore they go directly for the nice, smooth, slow eding they know will work. Which is literally the same what happened to G. R.R. Martin - the unsatisfactionary "drama", the point of the plotline (in both cases the great war that has ultimate enemies) came as worthless as the outcome was boring and disappointning. <br/>I'm not saying I'm an expert (tho I do possess a degree in similar ground), but after years of actively writing shorter or longer stories, I can tell when author fucks up. And Kishimoto did, be it either - writing the stoy wrong, because the universum got over his head, or selling the story to people who told him what exactly to write. <br/>My point is, I always believe in occam's razor, especially when it comes to writing/creating unveirsums. And I believe, that if you have large unviersum with alot of people, you can't fuck with the rules you set as ground. <br/>Therefore my story, my way of telling the sasunaru bullshit i was too self-indulgent not to write down, I change even the entire idea of chakra, because I personally think the Naruto Shippuden as it is was written for euroamerican readers/fans or rather, for people raised in cristian "western" culture, rather than japanese/asian. (But that might be just my personal view.) </p><p>Anyway, I'm sorry to rant here like this, I just want you to know I didnt change the "chakra rules" or the main plotline as it was in Shippuden for my own personal tactics, but because I think as an author, Kishimoto should have known better, should had consulted it with people who know shit about writing large series, shouldnt have sold it before it was done, shouldn't have fucked wiht his own ego over something that disappointed so many of us - not by the "straight married" couple(s), but for ruining the entire point, over-combining the entire plotline, purpose. It¨s short-comming, and I'm just here to create something smaller, but also something that in given universum makes... a bit more sense, I hope. </p><p>(There is one thing I love about the series tho, and that is Itachi. I love that he lied, I love that Sasuke killed him, I love that Itachi was proven corrupted, and I love that Sasuke cried over him and created an inner friend in him, that kept him from falling. I dont like that Sasuke not falling eventually got overpowered by Naruto so much that Itachi was basically forgotten. He should have stayed on at least the same level, but then again, this is my personal opinion, and there will be people who will say Naruto is Sasuke's one and only. Yes, I believe that, too - but there's difference in love within blood, and love within souls.) </p><p>Anyway, the reasong I've been ranting here for nearly 40 minutes now is, I'm sorry if I dissapoint with this "filler chapters" (there's about... two? three?) about Kurama and life as it is, but it holds it's reason, like everything, in this story, anyway. </p><p>But still, sorry to disappoint everyone who came here for SasuNaru sex - not yet, my readers, ot yet. ^^</p><p> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. The story of the Tailed beast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I do understand most of you will argue with me that this isnt how it works and due to my massive changes stop reading this story. I understand it's dissappointing for you, but it's refreshing for me. </p><p>(I put real effort into this idea and longrun planning I have with this story's closing...) </p><p>Thank you to everyone who read this story so far! <br/> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was created by the Gods thousands years ago, so long I don't remember their names or their purpose. All I remember is, I was to guard them as a chakra beast with my first tail: Tail of Fire, which holds the power of elemental chakra. I tricked the Gods into creating my physical form, which because of said trickery took after a fox - for this I was given my second tail, the tail of Trickery, which means I can change my shape. I was watching and sensing and hearing everything, I fought off anyone who came for my gods. My power was so great I was given my third tail: Tail of Power, making me the strongest creature to ever walk the God’s Gardens. My fourth tail was Wisdom, since even the Gods came to me for help, for guidance, because I was the one who saw, sensed and heard everything.  Among the Gods, there was my precious being there - the God of Mind. They were mine and I was theirs. For that, I was given my fifth tail, the Tail of Temptation, which held the power of feelings.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A demon knows of love, then, Sasuke concludes, not even trying to as much as breathe not to interrupt this grand story of not only the nine-tailed demons' life, but also the history behind their world. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“My sixth tail was given to me when Gods got scared of chakra beasts for their power, and I had to fight for my life, and for the lives of my friends; the tail of Death, which allows me to cross between life and death, but also reach eternity. The God of Mind, chakra beasts and I, we all fought together. The God of Mind believed the chakra beasts are Gods’ allies and they were trying to solve everything with words, with peace. We fought until his brother came and fought me for he thought I’m to harm the God of Mind. I fought the brother and he fought us, not only me, but his brother, too. The brother used his mind techniques against the God of Mind - I had to kill the brother to protect my precious being. But the God of Mind saw danger in my eyes, started to fear me and hate me for I saved their life, but killed their brother. God of Mind used his mind techniques on me and damned me from the Gardens of Gods, which earned me my seventh tail, the Tail of Damnation, which holds the power of destroying Gods as well as humans. God of Mind then took his brother’s chakra and gifted it to humans. Humans learned how to tame chakra and how to use it. The brother of my precious being possessed mind techniques, those we also given to humans, who started to call them kekkei genkai. There were many kekkei genkai of all elemental jutsus, but the most powerful were the eye techniques God of Mind gifted two strong, powerful, prideful men: Sharingan and Byakugan. But everyone knew there somewhere was hidden the most powerful kekkei genkai, a strong technique that got stolen from the God’s Gardens and brought to this world separately from the God of Mind’s brother’s chakra: Rinnegan, a mind technique so strong, it could tame and control even tailed beasts. Because me and all other tailed beasts were all tamed from God’s Garden, everyone assumed we have the Rinnegan, and since I am the Kitsune, everyone assumed I'd hidden it.  For Rinnegan, I was hunted, because shinobi with great power wanted more power. I went into hiding in the woods in a world that wasn't mine, where one day I found an innocent human child. It was threatened by a Shadow. I killed the Shadow, and made friends with the human child, who didn't see a beast, but a friend in me. The child took me to his village, where I was accepted to stay, but the hunger for power found me nonetheless. The child offered I could use my Tail of Trickery and hide in it, and stay safe from those who were hunting me, as I would provide safety for the child. For agreeing, I got my eight tail, the Tail of Tame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’ve been living united with humans for hundreds of years, from your ancestors to you, child,” Kurama looks Naruto in his bright big blue eyes. “And for as long, Gods’ fear, revenge, hate and lust to overpower everyone, even their own creation, follows me as it is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is silence in the cave, as Sasuke understands he is… part of something much bigger than he thought. He is overcome with so much emotion, with rage towards his ancestors. The Uchiha’s always wanted power, always wanted more, always desired revenge. Naruto reaches up towards Kurama’s head, as to touch him, pet him, to express his emotion through touch, because that’s what he does best and that’s what his nature is. Kurama looks at him with pride expected from basically a God, but then he lowers his head and let’s Naruto’s hand touch the side of his head, the fur on his forehead and head. Naruto realizes he’s been a part of a bloodline that provided safety for the demon, but also that his own clan, always one person chosen from the clan, was given the biggest gift, the Kyuubi, to be protected for the rest of their life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don't like Uchihas,” Sasuke speaks sadly, “For they… followed you since… they followed you. They forced you to stay hidden for… for an eye technique?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama doesn't answer, just purrs, as he sticks his snout through the gates to sniff Naruto, who gently rubs at the soft fur on its sides. “So you’ve been with my blood and my chakra for a long time, hn? And you never had anyone here to keep you company? We are probably the first beings to hear this story, am I right…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama closes his eyes and looks content, calm, while Naruto keeps petting him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m so deeply sorry, Kurama. For what my clan… and probably other clans too… did to you,” Sasuke murmurs and sits back down, right next to Naruto - so close he can pet Kurama, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you… don't mind, being here,” Naruto concludes after a while. “You are here to stay hidden from both, the Gods, and Uchihas.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It never really worked, your ancestors were always rivals, and therefore always close. But my secret got lost, and the truth behind my taming was for long hidden. Until Uchiha Madara wanted to seek revenge,” Kurama murmurs and leans to the side so Naruto could rub at the side of his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto giggled but followed, rubbing exactly where the demon wanted him to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… Uchiha Madara wanted… Rinnegan,” Sasuke starts after a while. “Which is… a kekkei genkai of a kind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a technique of mind, using chakra to your own benefit beyond human comprehension. It’s a technique all Uchihas are interested in. I thought you will be too, child,” Kurama stalls, obviously waiting to see the familiar spark in dark eyes all Uchihas have when you mention power in front of them. Sasuke remains calm - he just wants to understand. “Rinnegan has the ability to combine techniques of all elements, heal, repair, damage as well as bring back from death.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, now Sasuke understands. He read everything there was on Uchiha Madara, and all he found was his brother died. It’s… really been in their blood, hasn't it? It’s getting ridiculous, after a few hundreds of years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wanted your power to achieve Rinnegan, do I understand it correctly?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He believed it’s how it works, yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke smirks - Kurama said that everyone thought he’s stolen the technique, but never once said it¨s the truth. “But he’s wrong, insnt he.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kurama doesn't answer. He only moves his head so Naruto could rub at his neck - he’d love to pet his demon more, but there were the giant gates separating them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uchiha Madara believes he can use Sharingan on you, tame you and force you to give him rinnegan, because he believes you have it. And from what you told us, you are the most powerful being of all, so powerful even the Gods are scared of you. Say, Kurama, is Rinnegan in your powers?” Naruto asks this time, because he knows Kurama doesn't answer most of their questions anyway, especially if Sasuke asks them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To answer this question, I’d have to tell you the reason why I agreed with the Uzumaki.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are here to listen to you, because we think to become wise, we have to listen to those who happened to be wise before us,” Naruto murmurs, his tone oddly serious. “If you think we can handle it, if you trust us and if you want to share your mind with us, we’d be pleased to hear it, Kurama.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The beast - </span>
  <em>
    <span>demon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sasuke corrects himself in his mind - does look happy he’s not here alone, no matter how much he pretends he hates being interrupted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't have much to live for any longer, and I don't have a place to go. I can't die for my fourth tail, and I can't live for the Gods damned me. I am the nine-tailed beast, the kitsune, the fox demon. I am the power that can destroy Gods’ Gardens and this universe. I saw shinobi are getting strong - using chakra and kekkei genkai that was given to them, and I knew one day, shinobi world will become Gods’ Gardens; someone will possess too much power and will see danger everywhere, and to eliminate that danger, there will be death and loss. Precious beings will be damned, and worlds would burn. So I took the Rinnegan and hid it to never be used again. I hoped my secret will fade with time, but Uchiha Madara, fueled by hunger for power, understood that the missing Kekkei Genkai was in my possession. He believes he has to tame me into his body to take a hold on the eye technique , but that isn't the key.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke wants to ask about it more, but he doesn't want to because he’s afraid Kurama would think Sasuke is interested in the power of it. He’s not. He just wants to know what they can do to protect Naruto, and how they can fight Madara. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't think twice before he asks: “What would Rinnegan cause?”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurama chuffed, which weirdly resembles laughter: “Uchiha Madara believes Rinnegan in his power could set new rules to this world, his way of peace. But he’s wrong for power never brings peace. Power brings pain, revenge, and suffering. Rinnegan brings Gods here. Rinnegan will cause the death of all humans, not only shinobi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As suddenly as they appeared down there, they were back in the beach house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun is rising.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Last bit of hate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I have so many questions I don't even…” Naruto starts as he releases Sasuke’s hand and falls into the bed. “My head hurts.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… we were…” Sasuke starts from the other side, still processing it. “We were destined - we… we truly…. were destined.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto stops and pops up on his elbows, looking at Sasuke with a grin this time: “Yeah… yeah we were.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leans in at the same time Naruto does, and they share a light, pretty kiss. Sasuke’s mind provides a quick series of thoughts about their future - about their house, their missions, about Naruto as Hokage, about Shikamaru as his right hand, Kakashi as his partner in ANBU - and it all stops suddenly, when red Mangekyou eyes appear over it all in his mind, threatening his possible future. “We have to fight Madara before he comes in ready to fight us.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Hn…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just,” Naruto turns around to properly face his boyfriend. “I just can't stop thinking about the rinnegan thing. Kurama said Madara thinks it's Kurama's power that helps him achieve it. But it’s not like that, it must be something else - and… I know Kurama said it brings to life those who died, and it can repair as well as damage and all that. But… he mentioned one more thing - the combining of jutsu. Don't you… doesn't that sound familiar?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke stops in his brief thought about how to blackmail Kakashi into taking him on an S-ranked mission to find Itachi, and focuses back on his boyfriend. “...You mean you and I?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean… I mean when you activate your sharingan, see my chakra, regulate your own and add your technique into mine. We looked everywhere and we didn't find anyone who was able to do this. Not even twins, talking about Hyuugas, were able to combine techniques, or use different chakra sources to create one jutsu, one technique together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go on,” Sasuke settles, willing to listen in further. Naruto rarely offers technique explanations, he usually acts without thinking. Just like sealing, it’s alright for him to see it once and he’s able to perform it perfectly, usually with addition of his own touch to the technique. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don't have any, like, conclusion, I’m just saying what we do is probably a part of the rinnegan technique, and Kurama said it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>power Madara needs to obtain rinnegan. What I think… I just. It might be… me, somehow, or rather my blood. I don't know, I just… I, uh, so maybe… I don't know, maybe it isn't… Kurama said he hid it, and I’m just thinking… he maybe hid it in… his jinchuuriki, somehow, or something..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s eyes narrow. This doesn't make their situation any better. Worse, actually, if Madara finds out - getting Naruto will be probably easier than taming a nine-tailed fox demon. “Or rather… your bond. Our bond, maybe. Your - we, well. Kurama already said it once; noone, meaning his jinchuuriki, ever had an Uchiha for their precious person. Our clans were rivals, of course they couldn't…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Madara thinks Rinnegan is the way to peace,” Naruto starts after a while. “Well, just like Danzo believed his way of leading the village… is a way to achieve peace I think.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke snorts and agrees; he sides with Kurama on this, power in the hands of one person never brings anything good. “I think we are fucked anyway. Madara doesn't care which one of you he needs, he will kill you and obtain Kurama’s powers. Before or after he receives the technique, that doesn't matter anyway. My point is, Madara thinks Kurama is the key to Rinnegan, and Rinnegan is what he’s after. He killed so many people, love, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire clan</span>
  </em>
  <span> only to find a way to this. He probably tried everything, taking revenge, using Danzo for his plans, leading Akatsuki from the shadows and he probably has a master plan in his mind. And we have no way of winning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We, alone? Probably, yes. But with Itachi, and Kakashi, and Shikamaru and Kurama and Tsunade…? Well…” Naruto smiles. “I think we’ve got a pretty good chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke isn't so sure, but it’s impossible to stare at Naruto's grinning face and not smile, too. In hope, maybe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Sasuke wasn't like this, a year, two back.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(But he can live with that, from now on.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks up from their window, over the sea. “The sun’s rising, huh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The time passes differently down there I guess.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It seemed like minutes, but it must have been more than four hours,” Naruto guesses and gets up to come closer to the window. “Funny is I feel refreshed. Thanks, Kurama.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s pretty sure it’s his demon’s doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke finally releases his Sharingan, and notices one really weird thing. “I don't… uh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke shakes his head. “No, I… you are right, it’s been more than four hours of me using Sharingan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto does the math and realizes that isn't possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Itachi was able to use his eyes for about fifty minutes, and he was the most talented one of us all, I don't ever recall anyone not only using Sharingan for so long, but also using it without losing any… chakra.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like, any at all?” Naruto’s eyes narrow. “You feel as refreshed as me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I feel like I’ve slept for a good six hours, but how’s… Is Kurama… can Kurama…?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The truth is… After all the fights I’ve ever had, it’s always enough or me to fall asleep, and when I wake up, I’m nearly alright. Even broken bones last me about a few days.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it’s Kurama’s doing?” Sasuke asks and to him, this sounds nearly impossible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what did the last time feel like?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I stole all the chakra resources of the entire village and used it in one go. It was like… like you’d take a tube of toothpaste and squinted it all at once, is how it felt. II was nearly dying of exhaustion, but the adrenalin was what kept me up. I fell asleep in the hospital before you, and woke up long after you were already helping Kakashi in the Office.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So this time, it was Kurama’s choice to heal you, or rather help you rest,” Naruto smiles at his boyfriend. “He quite likes you too, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels a weird tug behind his guts and he’s sure now Kurama can hear him. He just mostly chooses not to interact that much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't bet on it. He has every reason to hate me just like does hate all Uchihas. And after hearing his story, I don't blame him.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Cuddling and snuggling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto briefly remembers Sasuke’s ancestors were given the power to hunt the demon by the love of Kurama’s life. The blond can't even imagine lets say Naruto would have to kill Itachi to save Sasuke’s life, and Sasuke would not only damn him out of his home and tame him to the civilian world, but also give the power to the entire village to hunt him down. He can't imagine the heartbreak Kurama must have suffered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m the last remaining piece of… of the hate God’s of Mind had for Kurama, after… after what happened,” Sasuke whispers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, on the other hand, doesn't that… I mean, doesn't that kind of explain your clans’ hunger for power, for revenge?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke can't disagree with that, actually. “I… I guess…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying it explains why your parents refused to provide you with care other than raise a perfect shinobi out of you, but… I mean. It’s… like, I mean. Maybe that’s what is in the sealed scrolls we can't decode, isn't it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mean Rinnegan,” Sasuke understands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is becoming dangerously skilled with deduction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto, let me… tell you one thing; you are really good at this. Reading between lines I mean, you are able not only to put things together, but you are extremely good with deduction - and that requires intelligence as well as precision and focus, which is, considering your ADHD, an incredible progress, so I’m not exaggerating or saying it because I'm absolutely starstrucked with you when I say you will make an </span>
  <em>
    <span>extraordinary </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hokage one day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s mind loses its focus on previous issues and looks Sasuke deep in his eyes. Then he ducks his head down with a sheepish smile on his face. “I thought this will be easier now. Accepting compliments.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a compliment, Naruto, it’s the simple truth,” Sasuke replies and means every word of this. “Because you are probably right. Rinnegan isn't something I’ve ever heard of, but from what Kurama said, it was the goal of Uchiha’s for as long as we exist, as long as sharingan… well, was gifted to us by the God of Mind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s still crazy, isn't it? To know for sure we come from Gods,” Naruto murmurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gods was an issue shinobi didn't talk about much, but they all knew of their existence. This, knowing their Gods had powers and that shinobi, chakra and tailed-beasts really came from them, the entire “we were destined” comes to a different light. Sasuke can't </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>agree. “It’s a bit overwhelming…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto smiles somewhat sheepishly, before he says: “I’ve been hearing your trademark “hn” way less recently. I quite miss it now, you know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lets his eyes wander to the ocean he can see from above, as he half-smiles: “Hn.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto shortly laughs and Sasuke lies back down. They can afford a few hours of sleep. “Can we cuddle?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always,” Naruto agrees and curls into his boyfriend, letting Sasuke hug him tight, as he comfortably lies his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. It’s different than cuddling Kakashi’s manly chest and letting his strong arms guard his form while he sleeps. Sasuke’s presence is different and Naruto can't put a word on it; they are different, but he loves both of them so much he can't even imagine he’d ever lose them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to return to Konoha,” Naruto mumbles. “We have to find Itachi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi will lead an S-ranked team to find Itachi and confront him about our findings, and about his intentions.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By S-ranked team he means you, me and Shiki, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn't say, but I don't… I don't want to face my brother on my own. And… and the three of you might be… or maybe even Tsunade… I’d be fine with that,” Sasuke manages to whisper, but he still is embarrassed about admitting that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks up, kisses his chin and grins: “I’m so, so proud of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m proud of you too,” Sasuke assures his boyfriend. “Get some rest, I need your five years old self to keep me from my suicidal thoughts.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have my five years old self to keep me from </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Naruto chuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad we found common ground even on this issue in this relationship,” Sasuke rolls his eyes in pretended annoyance, but Naruto knows now this is the Uchiha’s sense of humor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are, eh?” Naruto asks silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes Sasuke a second to realize what Naruto is talking about. “In a relationship? Well… If you… if you… want to? I mean, If you’d - if-only if you want to, I can't -!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasuke,” Naruto interrupts his babbling. “Do you… want to be in a relationship? With me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do, but…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But?” Naruto nudges his thigh with his knee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I, well, I already mentioned it before, I needed to have an uncomfortable conversation with Sakura about it to be able to put words on it,” Sasuke starts, obviously already frustrated. “I mean. I just… It’s - you just learned how to have friends, you are basically living your childhood, you are just now making friends and understanding feelings and certain norms and all that, and I have a feeling like I shaped you into a person I wanted you to be, and then… and then moreover I want to claim you for myself, before you… before you were free to explore what you really want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And while Naruto is infuriated by Sasuke yet again thinking about everyone else rather than himself, he is also deeply touched by his words. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But then Sakura pointed out that… when you do, I mean, want to try something out, or rather - someone, if you follow… I don't necessarily have to end our relationship, to… indulge you in some exploring.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto doesn't really know what that means, and Sasuke is aware of it. And while a year, two back Naruto would start yelling about Sasuke using advanced vocabulary, showing off, and using ways with language Naruto had no chance of reading, because he was never exposed to healthy regular conversations with adults, he nowadays knows exactly what it all means when Sasuke starts speaking like this: he’s deeply embarrassed, because he said something personal that contained feelings and intimacy. “I've got no idea what you talking about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke rolls his eyes. He knows Naruto’s aware what his blatant speech meant, but he’s refusing to read between lines for the sole purpose of embarrassing Sasuke further. (“</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s to make you come clean with your feelings, ‘ske.”</span>
  </em>
  <span>) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… mean, I know for sure I won't mind if you… decide to go on a little adventure. With someone else. If you… if you still want to go back to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke was never this red in his face in his entire life, ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is just pretending he still doesn't know what Sasuke means just to mess with him. And make him speak about things like this, because its a) funny to fuck with him like that and b), it’s freeing Sasuke’s soul. “Like… having friends? Spending time with them?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naruto-!” Sasuke starts off, a bit annoyed, but he is quick to roll his eyes and just come clean with what he thinks. “Just so you know, Sakura threatened my life if I corrupt you with even </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking </span>
  </em>
  <span>about sex.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Naruto snorts. “She knows I’m friends with Ino, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like Kiba is any better,” Sasuke scoffs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiba at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>tries </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be subtle about it, or jokes about it. But you are right, when the two of them are together, all they do is talk about sex. I’m surprised they just… aren't together,” Naruto mumbles the last part, like he’s thinking about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(According to all the rumors and gossip - </span>
  <em>
    <span>crucial information, Sasuke!</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as Kakashi always reminds him - Kiba and Ino </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>fuck-buddies on regular basis.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All I mean is,” Sasuke shakes his head, like he’s trying to remember the issue they were talking about (</span>
  <em>
    <span>weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Naruto notes,</span>
  <em>
    <span> this is usually what I do</span>
  </em>
  <span>), “when you… when you find someone else you’d be interested in, I don't mind you going for it. And then… coming back to me, if you want me after.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto breathes in, like he immediately wants to say something, maybe to tease his boyfriend, but seeing Sasuke’s serious face, he changes his mind. He takes in what Sasuke’s sentence means and what he is implying with it, before he frowns. “You mean I’m shallow enough to just fuck some chick and then come back to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, what - also please stop talking to Ino, she’s not a good sex-ed teacher,” Sasuke says a bit too grumpily to be joking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s exactly what you said, but with honest words!” Naruto hollers in his defence and laughs a bit, as he gently touches Sasuke’s tummy. How comes he’s got a shirt on while Naruto lost his many hours ago…? Not fair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I - Naruto, all I’m saying is-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want me to agree on this relationship, I need you to know I expect brutal honesty. I also expect us always sharing everything, including lovers. Therefore, if you want me to “explore”, I’ll only do that with you. Am I making myself clear?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't know what to say to that, so he averts eyes and nods, but he can't stop the blush spreading on his cheeks. This… honestly didn't even cross his mind - about exploring. He was sure sex for him was just - ehm, he’s definitely blushing now. “Y-yes… and… I… agree.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks up to meet his boyfriend’s shy and embarrassed face when he realizes… is Sasuke thinking about someone in particular…? Is it Kiba? Is it Shikamaru? Is it Neji…?! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Naruto would be down with all of them, just so you know.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And while Sasuke is deeply embarrassed, Naruto can't help it, he has to smile to himself. He knows there are terrors waiting for them, nightmares that are slowly taking the shape of Uchiha Madara, but there also is a light, in a form of Uchiha Itachi - for some reason, Naruto doesn't believe Uchiha Madara, with all his hate, all his hunger for power and revenge, could ever defeat all the love and care Naruto created all over the village; Kakashi, Shikamaru, Sakura, Kiba, Ino, Tsunade, Iruka, … Sasuke. Naruto lies down on Sasuke’s chest and he can't help it, he has to smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleep now, will you?” Sasuke gently strokes his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or we could continue in what we did before,” Naruto slowly pats Sasuke’s tummy through his shirt. “...or are you tired?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,… ehm,” Sasuke is actually embarrassed at how quickly he answered. He doesn't want to appear this desperate for some cuddling. “Unless you… no, I’m not tired.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks up and offers his lips in a light kiss, but through the smile it’s not easy to manage any long make out session. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you laughing like an idiot?” Sasuke asks, when he kisses the corner of his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not laughing, I’m grinning!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you grinning like an idiot?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m your idiot, and that’s why you love me,” Naruto enlightens his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke snorts, but generally agrees. “Okay, maybe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Naruto isn't having it, so he turns them around so Sasuke is lying on his back and Naruto sits down on his lap. “And because I love you right back. Easy as that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke takes a second to appreciate the love of his life grinning down at him, obviously happy they are exactly here, together, with the sun coming up, young and unskilled and right before the biggest war of their lives. Naruto isn't stupid, h knows they can lose a lot, he can lose a lot. But for now, for tonight and maybe tomorrow, too, he can just enjoy Sasuke’s presence. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter will bring some sexy times! </p><p>Are you as excited as I am? </p><p> - Lydia L. K. Clairvoyanne</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. First experience, pat I.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto leans down the same time Sasuke’s arms reach his hips to get up, so of course they meet in the middle. Their kiss is still slow, their tongues unskilled, but there is undeniable fire in their action. Sasuke can feel it, Naruto’s hands on his face and neck, his own squeezing the blond’s naked skin right above his hips. And Naruto doesn't know why or how, but he wants more - he just doesn't know what exactly that means and where exactly that feeling ends, or at least becomes bearable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he decides to touch - that he can, and even is required on the Uhiha’s part, so his hands slide down Sasuke’s neck and collarbones, his shoulders and down on his chest. He stops where he guesses the heart is, and lets his hand rest there, feeling for his heart pounding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish we could stay here,” Naruto mumbles into the kiss. “I wish you and I were left alone, left lost here, so we never have to go back to face the real world anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasuke would tease his boyfriend he’s undeniable romantic, if their lives would be civilian, normal, without the threat of war and death. But they are shinobi, and there is a great war coming for them. He quickly remembers Kakashi feeling the same with Obito, and how he lost him soon after the night he made love to him. He and Kakashi had a lot in common, he knows that now - and the fear of losing, that is… that is what ties them together so well. Sasuke’s hands travel up Naruto’s chest to be able to hold his face in both of his palms, when he says: “I love you, Naruto.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Namikaze stares in his eyes for a while, scared, vulnerable, understanding where these words and feelings are coming from: “Don't. Don't say it like this, don't say it like you know the end is coming. I won't let it happen, I’m not… I’m not letting either of us die, do you understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke doesn't say anything, and let’s his lips take a different action. Naruto is reluctant for a while, like he wants to say something, stop his boyfriend to have a real conversation about this threat coming for them, but he changes his mind, when Sasuke’s hands slide up and down his back and keep their way under to squeeze Naruto’s bum. Naruto giggles into their kiss, pushes Sasuke down and attacks his neck, biting above his collarbone and kissing his shoulder, before he holds up both of his hands with one palm and with the other rolls up Sasuke’s sleeping shirt to reveal porcelain skin of a well trained body. Sasuke shivers, but he lets the boy do whatever he wants not only because he trusts him, but also because… he feels like this is… </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this is how it should be. Naruto notices he’s dominating Sasuke again, and lets go off his arms, slides his fingers down his biceps, shoulders, chest and tummy to follow his visible v-line. Sasuke chuckles a silent, “tickles”, and Naruto kisses him under his navel, before he looks up, smiles, and gently touches his thigh, as if suggesting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly do you have in mind?” Sasuke asks with a pink-cheeked smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond shrugs, and while his hands have a goal they want to reach, Naruto understands they probably have to speak about this first. “Depends on what you let me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know well enough I’ll let you do anything you want,” Sasuke reminds him, “we already had… a conversation about this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that we did,” Naruto smiles and eyes Sasuke’s perfectly trained tummy. “I quite like… touching you. And bringing you pleasure.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s cheeks can't get pinkier now - he is embarrassed, but he loves this, loves everything about this situation. “So, what exactly… do you have in mind?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably kissing you more,” Naruto leans down and kisses his lips, while his hand travels from Sasuke’s thigh on his tummy and chest, staying there for a while before he finds his nipple, hard and erect, and strokes it with his thumb. “And ask you, what you have in mind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't… know,” Sasuke mumbles. “Like I said, I don't have any experience in this field.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None of us have,” Naruto reminds him and kisses his cheek, “but c’mon, let me know what you like?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, this one now, Sasuke rolls his eyes, this isn't going to be easy for Naruto to understand. “I… don't know. What I like or not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto lies back down, half body on the bed, half on Sasuke: “What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know how… I asked you about, ehm, whether you masturbate the other day?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s silence, a second where Naruto stops breathing when he realizes what this is about. “You don't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks up and hopes someone saves him the embarrassment, but nods rauantly when answers: “Yes, I… I don't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it… is it because of some trauma you have? Is it about the “I’m a lone Uchiha who is an avenger and is destined to be alone” kind of shit?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks his boyfriend in the eye and then tells him, with a straight face: “So you never-?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, unless… it happens on it’s own when I sleep, I don't, no. But since I realized I… I’m in love with you, and that I want you in all meanings of the word including physical, I started to have… ehm, issues. About it. About… I wanted to, trust me, masturbate I mean, but I just… I can't. There’s - ah, okay, this is… ehm. Okay, so, since I started to have night pollution, and I started to, you know, have these feelings and needs, I realized I just can't on my own… masturbate. I can't. I just… whenever I touched myself, I just got the feeling I… I can't. And then I turned soft immediately, and then I got an anxiety attack. So I stopped even trying, and eventually I just accepted I can't… even touch myself, because whenever I did, it just.. didn't work, and usually ended with me crying and shivering, and the cold and loneliness took over me and-and… yeah. So I… I didn't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto is lost here. He can't even imagine - of course, he probably also isn't perfectly normal, when it comes to masturbating, but at least he doesn't get fucking anxiety attack when he¨s trying to reach orgasm?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you never… had an orgasm. While awake and fully conscious,” Naruto realizes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I usually… don't really know when it happened, I never - no good feeling ever woke me up, and usually the worst nightmares appeared the nights I ended up washing my pants,” Sasuke answers as honestly as he can. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto’s wild, staring eyes follow his boyfriend’s body up and down. “I’m so… I’m so sorry, mine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don't, Naruto don't-!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry you were alone in this - why didn't you tell me? I’d help you, I’d do anything to make your life better, your personal as well as intimate life - Sasuke, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't you tell me?! We’ve been closest friends for more than a year now, why didn't you tell me, hey, I get anxiety attacks while masturbating, can you help me?, - Sasuke, I’d do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>in my power to stop this, to help you any way I can!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you would, I just… Naruto, please understand some of these things you are helping me with… I didn't even realize they were wrong, or they shouldn't… be happening in the first place,” Sasuke reminds him. “I didn't… I didn't care much for my soul or my body before we became friends, please remember that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-…,” Naruto falters, but he does understand, he does, really, he just… wishes these things were not happening to Sasuke. He didn't deserve this. “I know, I just… I just… it’s not fair. You didn't… you didn't deserve this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke half smiles and gently pats Naruto’s back: “Thank you for thinking so, love. And thank you for… for still fighting for me. It’s what keeps me alive and sane.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks up, a teasing smile in the corner of his mouth: “You get an anxiety attack while masturbating, and you consider yourself sane?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke sighs out loud and chuckles, “Why again do I tell you intimate things about myself?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto laughs and kisses his neck, nis nape, the side of his head. It’s a loving gesture Naruto never did before, and Sasuke feels like melting. “I wanna help you,” he then whispers into Sasuke’s skin. “I always wanna help you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke gets shivers just from hearing it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More smut will follow.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. First experience, pat II.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, Sasuke. I’m right here with you,” Naruto takes his palm into his own and gently guides it from Sasuke’s chest down his crotch. “You aren't alone. You deserve this, you deserve good things. You deserve pleasure and intimacy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s eyes must mirror the horror he feels in his mind, because Naruto kisses his cheek, then his lips, and then he smiles at him: “Do you want to stop?” as he gently strokes his fingers at the hem of his sleeping pants. “We can just cuddle.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke remembers - the time stands against them. There probably won't be many moments like this, before their lives might end. “I want to -,” he stutters and loses his courage for a while, but then he looks up to see Naruto’s face, finding his peace and also his love in Naruto’s eyes, “I want to… try. I’m not saying it’s going to work, I’m just…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto changes their positions and spoons his boyfriend, “This will be easier,” he explains, as he kisses the back of Sasuke’s neck. There’s goosebumps running down his spine, and his ribs, and it’s a light, electric feeling Sasuke expected from these moments. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this how Kakashi felt, during his night with Obito…? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lets Nauto guide his hand down his chest, over his hips and back up. “Whenever you feel like panicking, stop me. We don't have to do anything more than I have done for you in the kitchen,” Naruto reminds him gently, and his words ring in Sasuke’s ears. There is proper sexual tension now between them, now that Naruto is spooning him so close not even a millimeter of space is between them. Sasuke feels Naruto's lips at the nape of his neck, his breath on his porcelain, white-hot skin, his fingers are touching his own, and Sasuke would be thankful and focused on his boyfriend, but he can't just focus on anything else but himself right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Usually, this is where his anxiety attack starts - how does he dare to think about himself, his needs, his feelings?! - but not today, not now. This is Naruto, his best friend and the love of his life, and it turned out he’s always right, when it comes to feelings. So when his own as well as Naruto’s fingers disappear under the hem of his sleeping pants, Sasuke closes his eyes and lets his repressed feelings take the best of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto looks at his boyfriend’s face and decides to talk him through this, because he knows Sasuke left alone in his head isn't something that would ever help the boy. “Take your time, get to know yourself. Here, touch your hips, your thighs, your abdomen,” Naruto slowly guides him, still leading his hand, trying to help him gain confidence. “Do you like it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke lets the feeling of his own skin beneath his fingers slide along his body and mind a bit sheepishly, with a pink blush along his cheeks, but he has to admit, with Naruto here, it’s alright. “Y-yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not feeling the usual anxiety, and there are no bad feelings or thoughts yet. Naruto knows he can't stop talking, and he can't stop touching him. “Good, I’m glad. Have you ever touched like this? Just like… just like I touched you before?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I never… even tried,” Sasuke answers, slowly stroking his own abdomen, Naruto's fingers still guiding him. “I always… wanted to end it quickly, so I just grabbed myself and tried, and…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll try a different approach, yes?” Naruto whispers to him and kisses his neck, “similar to what I did in the kitchen, or in the bathroom?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke bites his lips - he’s never felt so much love as well as pleasure at the same time, and while he never expected to be this free of his thoughts, he’ll do anything now to keep focused on Naruto and his own body. It’s a strange feeling, and Sasuke is thankful Naruto understands his issues and doesn't stop talking. “Hm-hm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Naruto smiles and nuzzles his face into Sasuke’s neck, “‘cause I really liked that. I liked how you reacted,” he guides Sasuke’s fingers closer to his crotch and stays there just to get comfortable, to know how it feels. “I loved seeing you enjoying the pleasure. How pliant you were, how happy you seemed. You seemed like you enjoyed yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“D-did,” Sasuke agrees, silent and a bit shy, but determined. “It was… the most pleasure I ever felt.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto takes his hand and makes him stroke his hips down his thighs and back up agan, before coming really close to his erection. “Do you want to feel it again?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s slight amusement in Naruto’s voice, but Sasuke knows he isn't laughing at him, he’s just happy Sasuke can or rather allow himself enjoy this. He knows Naruto would never turn anything against him, they trust each other, and the blond is just happy Sasuke is feeling safe and curious enough to do something that usually brings him anxiety attacks. “Yes, I… I do. It… felt good.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” Naruto asks permission, when he nears Sasuke’s dick, their fingers are so close Sasuke can see them ghosting near the place he wants to be touched at.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The proud Uchiha nods, whispering a silent, “yes, please”, that sounds a bit… needy. Naruto understands the submissivity in his friend’s voice, and he realizes this all has to go unsaid, this vulnerability, and Sasuke losing his dominance - that’s an issue for other times. Naruto therefore nudges Sasuke’s fingers closer to his balls, starting from there - and Sasuke bites his lips, turns his face into the pillow and tries to cover himself, but immediately turns his head to see his friend’s face, looking for comfort, for guidance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get comfortable, enjoy the first touches,” Naruto guides him and Sasuke follows, letting his fingers slide across the soft skin - his erection moves, his balls tighten up, and his breath catches. There’s a strong need to just curl up in a ball and let these feelings pass by, but Sasuke knows he’s safe here, this won't be like it was before. “There, soft touches. How does it feel?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke’s fingers still hold Naruto’s, and they both touch Sasuke in a very intimate place. The Uchiha doesn't feel anything that would indicate an anxiety attack, but he doesn't feel the pleasure he felt in the kitchen with Naruto, either. “It’s… I don’t… know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wanna stop?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No... “ Sasuke slowly let’s Naruto guide his fingers around his balls, up and down, slowly, carefully. “No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, can we move up a bit? Have a proper touch now?” Naruto kisses his shoulder and moves their fingers up, bordering  the base of his boyfriend’s dick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm-hm,” Sasuke consents, deeply blushing, embarrassed, he wants to curl up and close his eyes, but at the same time, he wants to see what is happening in his crotch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto slowly drags their joined fingers across Sasuke’s base, up it’s quite long body, and stops at his glans. He can feel Sasuke’s goosebumps all over his body, he can hear the abrupt breathing. He understands the heir is trying to calm down, he's trying to do what he always does - to be perfectly calm, quiet, guarded. “We are alone, Sasuke. You don't have to bite your tongue, you can… you can openly enjoy it, that’s… that’s the purpose of it, anyway.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke closes his eyes and focuses on Naruto as a whole - his strong body behind his, bis even breathing, his kisses, his warm breath causing the goosebumps he’s getting, his arm across his body, his fingers in Sasuke’s, the way they are both touching his private parts. His voice, always there to ground him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, we can slowly… circle your head,” Naruto offers, as he slowly rubs their fingers over Sasuke’s tip, gently touching it’s upper side, and Sasuke jerks his entire body - he didn't expect such a  strong wave of pleasure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto hides a smile in his boyfriend’s neck: “Felt good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, forcibly shutting his eyes and biting his lips so he won't moan out loud nods a few times, embarrassed, but happy it’s pleasure he feels. “Hm-hm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want more?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Naruto smiles and lets Sasuke’s hand move on it’s own, his fingers still on Sasuke’s palm, but not touching his erection anymore. Sasuke doesn't realize at first, he just moves his fingers slowly, cautiously, over his tip, his glans, over the head, and up and down the body of his erected penis. He never realized only this, only the slight touches of his fingertips could cause him such intense pleasure - pleasure he never felt before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are doing so well,” Naruto nudges his face with his nose and kisses his crown, “keep your movements slow, we want you to learn and tease, nothing else for now. How do you feel?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke let’s his fingers slide down on his balls again and his body jerks in intense pleasure, Naruto lets out an unexpected sound that reminds Sasuke of cooing, and yes, he’s blushing, but at the same time, the pleasure he’s causing himself physically is for a moment underwhelming compared to the pleasure he feels emotionally, from just that sound. There’s something, and Sasuke’s heart makes a cartwheel when he thinks about it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dominant</span>
  </em>
  <span>, about Naruto in this position, making this sound, guiding and helping the young Uchiha in this situation. And what’s worse, Sasuke </span>
  <em>
    <span>likes </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. “Good. Feels… feels good. Don’t leave.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving, Sasuke,” Naruto immediately assures his older friend, “I’m right here with you, yeah? Holding your hand.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he does, he’s touching Sasuke’s palm and his fingers that are touching his erection, teasing himself, getting to know himself intimately - something he never had the emotional capacity for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… soft,” Sasuke then says, his fingers ghosting over the smooth skin of his pelvis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is, isn’t it,” Naruto murmurs, fully taken aback by the submissive side of his boyfriend. He then gently nudges Sasuke’s fingers to be able to rub the soft skin on his dick with just his fingertips. “Soft and smooth.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke looks Naruto in the eyes, and suddenly, he wants to take a look. He lowers his gaze down, where there, under the cover and under his sleeping pants, they are both slightly touching his erection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to see?” Naruto voices his need.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasuke, still looking down at their moving hands down there, nods. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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